Pride Month Is Over: Time to re-paint the rainbow crosswalks, get back in the closet, throw that #Pride merch into a landfill, and finally force those gay penguins into divorce. Anyway, we’re tired of rainbows. It’s America month, where at least you know you’re free unless you’re most people. Come claw or beak, we will hug a bald eagle in a metaphysical way. And on Saturday, the sun will rise over a great nation. One that listened to “Born In The U.S.A.” approximately one-hundred billion times and didn’t understand a word. If everything is just right, we’ll end the week with fewer uncle fingers than we started with. (Edit: Okay, the original gay penguins broke up in 2005, and they’re bisexual. People also say they’re dead, but that’s unclear. I’ve reached out to Central Park Zoo for confirmation. Here’s another dead gay penguin from Australia whose partner Magic “seemed relatively normal since his loss.” Diego and Zorro are about to celebrate 10 years and they loved our fisting piece.)
Jag skrattar till lite varje gång den dyker upp i flödet.
— Niclas (@ebmgubben.bsky.social) May 5, 2025 at 11:59 AM
The Mariners Beat the Kansas City Royals at T-Mobile Park: And Randy Arozarena hit his 100th home run. Arozarena, if you’re reading, I know only one way to congratulate you (I lack baseball knowledge). Enjoy:
On the Up and Up? The fuel tax rose 6 cents ($0.494 per gallon to $0.554) today. To keep pace with inflation, it’ll go up an additional 2% per year, generating about $1.4 billion in revenue over the next six years. Cool! But also federal cuts. And that $16 billion budget shortfall. When you wake up in the middle of the night for a glass of water, expect Gov. Ferguson hunched over your kitchen table in a hushed conversation with Mom. Avoid the squeaky floorboard when you tiptoe back to bed!
Time Is Running Out for Tuan Phan: Born in Vietnam, Tuan Phan served 25 years for murder in Washington. When he finished serving his sentence in March, the Washington Department of Corrections handed him over to ICE, and sent to Djibouti, where he’s been held in a shipping container for months. And now he’ll be deported to South Sudan unless Governor Ferguson pardons him. His lawyer Angélica Cházaro told KUOW Ferguson better do it while Tuan Phan is still at the US military base in Djibouti because his return is not guaranteed if he’s sent to South Sudan.
A Hairless Eastern Washington Pest Is in the North Cascades: Not your ex from Spokane on a hike. The western spruce budworm. We don’t love this worm (even if it were a worm). It loves to eat the new growth on fire trees. You’ll see its wrath in the trail of orange trees along Highway 20. By August, they may turn brown and dead-looking. It’s a young, modestly-sized (63,000 acres) outbreak, and not unheard of, but an entomologist told The Seattle Times it’s odd to see them outside the Cascade Crest.
More About Fireworks: SeaTac cancelled their show. City officials say they didn’t have enough cops. (Last year, they had ten cops for the 10,000 people in a park made for 3,200 max.) Or maybe that’s a cover and they’re still embarrassed about the 55 drones that fell into Angle Lake during the performance. “The drone mishap is not the reason for the cancellation,” said SeaTac’s comms person, not defensively at all.
Weather? Sorry rain-enjoyers, but it’s nice and hot and sunny today. Perfect weather … perfect weather … until a scream echoes across the lake. Your uncle is clutching his wrist, what’s left of his hand. Crazily, you think about the dream guitar he bought last month, hanging on the wall in his den. Just like the Stratocaster he had in high school. The one he sold for a wedding ring, but she turned him down. He’ll never play “Smoke On The Water” again.
So … Back To Fireworks: There’s absolutely nothing funny about blowing off your hand with an illegal bomb you bought on the side of the road from a man named Moustache Pete. How could something like that happen? “Having fingers” is not a radical ideology (yet) so, as usual, the US Consumer Product Safety Commission posted its excellent anti-commercial for fireworks. Watch these mannequins blow up instead of your intoxicated or foolish loved ones! I know it’s a few days early and the national mood is low but … blowing shit up is bipartisan.
Don’t do any of this.
— U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (@cpsc.gov) June 27, 2025 at 11:28 AM
The Law: Personal fireworks are illegal in Seattle and King County … much of Snohomish County most of the time … and unincorporated Kittitas County … and in Olympia, Tumwater, and Lacey … but I just know you some of you sick lawbreaking fucks will blow them up anyway. So I’ll play the mother who prefers you drink in the house: Have a fucking bucket handy so we have an environment. Or, test your empathy. When you feel an irrepressible urge for powpow to go boom-boom, imagine a dog’s sad, scared eyes.
Also, picture your dumbest friend. Now please share this fire danger map with said dumbest friend. Then show them the aforementioned mannequin movie. Make sure to tell them the people are not real.
He Did It: Brian Kohberger, the most obvious murderer since O…uh, Oswald—Lee Harvery Oswald—pleaded guilty to murdering four University of Idaho students. He took the deal to avoid the death penalty. Capital punishment disgusts me, and I don’t find breathless coverage of a real murder of real people entertaining, but watching the evidence pile up in this case has been something else. His defense sucked.
Democrats Lay Groundwork for “Project 2029”: Naming the Save Democracy Plan after the Destroy Democracy Plan is ridiculous. And since Dems at a liberal policy journal put it together, it’s not actually a plan yet. It’s a publicly announced plan to have a plan. Know that friend who is always getting his shit together and never does? At least he’s listening to the shitty voice inside his head and not … the shitty voice inside everyone else’s (read: polls). Hint: Dem strategists think they have a style problem, not substance problem. Double dog dare y’all to have a single idea, or God forbid, propose a popular economic policy instead of hand wringing over who first to throw under the big blue bus.
Since We’re on the Subject: Democrats can’t tell what is and what is not an extreme anymore. A problem with an autocrat in the White House and perhaps more on the way, or just more “four more years” until the autocrats is fresh out of “four more years.” Institutional Dems are freaking out about Mamdani. They should be freaking about ICE breaking the law, basic morality, and expectations that law enforcement identify themselves with a fucking uniform. Charles wrote about it here. Dems should also be freaking out about…
The Republican Denaturalization Plan: The Justice Department wants to strip Americans of their citizenship and is prioritizing cases involving certain crimes—including fraud, threats to national security, and in one case, distributing child porn. Child porn is obviously a serious offense. So serious that the Trump administration can plausibly deny what it’s doing. Don’t be fooled. According to a memo, Trump’s DOJ is pursuing denaturalization via civil litigation. One attorney told NPR that’s especially concerning. The people in those cases have no right to an attorney. No right! Another attorney told NPR—whose funding is being targeted by the federal government for accurately reporting the news—that the DOJ is expanding which crimes threaten a person’s citizenship. What’s next? And what if the accused is innocent? Hell, what if they’re guilty? Does this sound like justice?
Musk Threatens New Political Party if Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill Passes: It’s called the Apartheid Party Rocket Blow Up Party Blow Up My Car Party Grimes Take Me Back Party America Party. Uh oh! A third party? Republicans are probably scared. Third parties always move the needle.
BREAKING: After a session that lasted more than 24 hours, the Senate just passed Trump’s very ugly Big Beautiful (budget) Bill. VP JD Vance broke a 50/50 tie. Now it’s headed back to the House.
Trump To Visit New, Remote Detention Center in the Everglades: Will he feed the alligators little meat cubes on a stick (Floridians know), or is he just visiting to savor impending human misery?
Deerhoof will remove its music from Spotify over CEO Daniel Ek’s $700 million investment in an AI company making military tech. We need a new law to strap tech moguls to a chair and make them watch Terminator and Terminator 2 until they get it. Here’s Deerhoof’s bandcamp. Start with The Magic.
More Terrible, But Trivial News: They’re making a Project Hail Mary movie, an airport bookstore buy so bad I’d have raw-dogged the flight if I hadn’t had a Kobo handy. Normally, I give a book at least 45 pages. But I stopped on page 4, right around the fourth paragraph of the narrator sardonically pulling a space tube out of his ass. But I guess we get to see Ryan Gosling do it. And you thought Pride was over!
Gee, I Sure Am Fun Today: Sorry for the bummers. I’m usually all business and skip the song. No longer! Here’s R.E.M. on the Old Grey Whistle test playing “Pretty Persuasion,” an early banger off Reckoning, when you still couldn’t tell what the hell Michael Stipe was singing about. I prefer my R.E.M. incomprehensible, but am down with everything from Murmur to Monster (and, why not, a little New Adventures in Hi-Fi).
Bonus: My friend shared this great Dougie Poole song with me over the weekend. It’s called “Nothing on This Earth Can Make Me Smile.” It should be “Nothing on This Earth Can Make Me Smile, Except Dougie Pool Playing ‘Nothing on This Earth Can Make Me Smile.’”
regarding the gas tax hike: the dems war on the middle class in this state continues!
We’re hoping some Florida alligators get a bad case of indigestion soon. Where’s Auntie G ?
And speaking of fisting, yup, we just got it sans lube.
Does anyone know if they’re purposely no longer using “Continue reading »” on many posts in Slog?
I find myself visiting slog less because it means more scrolling scrolling scrolling where previously I would quickly open up several “Continue reading” posts I was interested in.
Do people actually prefer this new trend?
I think Auntie G and Kristo are the same person – both gone around the same time.
The Stranger gives a cheer for regressive revenue.
They should be detained and given a 72-hour evaluation for schizophrenia.
Happy Canada Day!
(America is fucked.)
@1: “regarding the gas tax hike: the dems war on the middle class in this state continues!”
And yet our state’s collective tax burden is still below average among the 50 states. And we somehow manage to keep our state functioning without income taxes.
Of course, the real war on the middle class is what is being waged now by the GOP in Congress with their big, beautiful abomination of a bill which just passed the Senate. For the GOP, the only classes which matter are the billionaire class and the investor class.
But of course, “I take soy milk in my latte”, you already know all this. And we will continue to receive the faithful message from you and your fellow travelers that up is down and black is white. Who knows if you’re part of this information warfare operation that is intended to dupe gullible Americans or you’re just a victim of it yourself?
Vivian, I would really recommend giving “Project Hail Mary” another chance. Yes, it definitely starts out somewhat slowly, as Grace gradually regains his memories and rediscovers his true mission, but the remainder of the novel is both gripping and heart-felt; perhaps one of the most memorable “buddy books” to hit the genre in quite some time, particularly if you like your SF, as I do, with a heavy dose of hard science.
It was Pride Month? I could hardly tell now that all the normies have jumped ship. Never thought I’d see LGBTQ support receding in my life. The T and the Q folks simply went too far.
I don’t see how it is “cool” to take $1.4 billion dollars out of the hands and mouths of taxpayers. Stupid would be a more apt description.
Even if Tuan Phan is pardoned by Ferguson, Trump will still deport him to Sudan if he is not a naturalized citizen. If he is naturalized, he’ll get a little reprieve while the Feds rescind his citizenship. I’m moved to write this little limerick;
There is a killer named Phan,
Soon to be deported to South Sudan,
He begged the Governor for clemency,
But he forgot who holds the Presidency,
Trump will get rid of him, fast as he can.
The Stranger: Chastise American Patriots for using fireworks on the 4th of July.
Also The Stranger: Perfectly legitimate to throw fireworks at law enforcement officers.
BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL BABY! There is some stuff to like. Some stuff to hate. But Trump got her done. Look at him whipping the House and Senate into shape. 😀
@4: They aren’t the same person. Kristofarian is dead. As far as I know Auntie G is still alive.
If Tuan Phan completed his sentence, what would Ferguson be pardon him for?
@4 – That would be one hell of a talented writer. Auntie is still around, she pops in late in the evening.
A 50-50 tie vote in the Senate.
If a conservative Democratic Senator from West Virginia had not been forced into retirement by the progressives the bill would have been defeated 51-49.
@8
Probably the only thing you and I will ever agree on. Rocky is just about best, most realistic, extra-terrestrial character ever created in a science fiction novel.
God I hope they don’t screw up Rocky!
@12: Or if Lisa Murkowski had voted no. Why didn’t she take comfort in the courage of Paul, Collins, and Tillis?
So if Ferguson does pardon a convicted murderer do we still have to listen to how Class E felony convictions for campaign finance violations are ever so evil?
@14 They loaded up the bill with Alaska pork to secure Murkowski’s vote.
She’s really a piece of work that one.
If South Sudan is truly as dangerous as supporters fear, simply get him to Juba and out on the first connecting flight to Hanoi (Tuan Phan and wife planned on living in Vietnam post prison release – why do anything that delays his removal from US custody).
If the fear is that he will be detained in South Sudan, that is unclear from the coverage.
“the most obvious murderer since O…uh, Oswald—Lee Harvery Oswald”
Did you mean Jack Ruby? Oswald wasn’t the “most obvious murderer” at all, hence why there are so many JFK assassination conspiracy theories that exist to this day. If you want an “obvious murderer” in all that mess, it is Jack Ruby, who literally shot and killed Oswald on live TV.
@12 no you’re confused, Manchin was the reason DEMOCRAT Presidents couldn’t get anything through the Senate. In Trump’s first term Manchin voted with him over half the time. They would have tossed in some coal subsidies and he would have been on board.
@11 “If Tuan Phan completed his sentence, what would Ferguson be pardon him for?”
It removes the conviction from his record and eliminates the grounds for deportation
Going out on a limb here: Ferguson is not going to pardon a murderer.
Vivian dear, I don’t see the point in celebrating an increase in the gas tax. It’s symbolic of our completely idiotic taxation structure, and will hit the people that The Stranger professes to care about the worst, even if they are carless.
Soymilk dear, I don’t suppose that you are familiar with Washington State, even if you live here, but the sheer amount of roads that we have, and the terrain they traverse is considerable, and the gas tax is the only funding source we have to maintain them.
But thank you for your concern. You get yet another blue participation star.
Tuan Phan is a gang member who fired his gun randomly into a crowd and killed 1 innocent bystander and injured another.
Why the heck wasn’t he sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole?
In a just world he would spend the rest of his life in solitary confinement in Walla Walla until he eventually dies.
Why the heck are we paroling murderers? And now that he has been paroled why does anyone care what country he is deported to? If we isn’t going to die in Walla Walla mshynbrywe could deport him to Antarctic
B. Kohberger’s defense didn’t suck! It appears that they have managed to save his life, which was their primary task as his defense. Not only that, they managed to save the life of a ghoulish, sexually-deviant thrill killer who hadn’t a hope in the world to convince a jury he was innocent.
@23 why even have laws at all? “In a just world” courts would just make decision based on vibes
@16, Some might call that being effective for the constituents in her state.
The Feds own 61% of Alaska, depriving the State, local governments, and school districts of property and other tax revenue from that land.
I think the rest of us kind of owe Alaskans a break.
“Anyway, we’re tired of rainbows”
I’m proud of the classic rainbow. But, yeah, I’m tired of the ones polluted with weird graphics like the piercing chevron.
@23,
Agreed, mshynbrywe should deport him there!
@28: We’d need to deport him to Dushanbe first! (That’s the capital of Zimbabwe, right?!?) 😉
The constituency currently being thrown under every bus is: Old People. Followed by Poor People, as usual. Old, Poor People? Doubly screwed. Coming soon to a curb near you, as the Medicaid-funded care facilities all close.
“the most obvious murderer since O…uh, Oswald—Lee Harvery Oswald”
How Harvery obviously of him, to murder so Oswalderly.
@25
What the heck are you going on about?
Tuan Phan was convicted in court of murder and sentenced to prison.
Since he is an undocumented immigrant it is perfectly reasonable to assume that on the completion of his sentence he be turned over to federal authorities for immediate deportation.
Why do progressives so often hinge their cause on the most indefensible individuals. This guy committed murder. Why waste any energy keeping him from being deported?
NotMyopic dear, the Feds own 61% of Alaska because no one wants it. That’s how federal lands work.
So yeah, it’s a welfare state. We pay people to live there. But Murkowsi, as a US Senator, is representing all of the US. Alaska’s house rep can represent the residents. She’s just a big old coward.
@32 you’re a little slow so I’ll bear with you. He and his wife anticipated being deported to Vietnam, where he’s originally from, and they accepted that. The government inexplicably instead is in process of deporting him to Sudan, a war torn region the State Department warns travelers not to visit. A judge ordered the government not to do this but they did anyway. This isn’t about any individual person it’s about ensuring the government follows its own laws and obeys its own courts. Can you wrap your tiny brain around that concept?
Also he wasn’t undocumented he was a green card holder, which is beside the point but you could at least get your facts straight.
We’re watching the government strip away everyone’s basic rights on the pretext that only “illegals” will be impacted. Meanwhile they’re shipping legal citizens to foreign labor camps and most americans are too fucking dumb to understand the most basic facts of these cases, let alone think a couple steps ahead. Either everyone has civil rights or no one does, even people who are undocumented, because that’s how civil rights work.
@33, Only Alaska voters vote for Murkowski. That is who she represents.
@1 soy ilk: Lemme guess: do you live in or are you from a red state, perchance?
You have it backwards. REPUBLICANS are waging a senseless war against the middle class as well as the following: the elderly, disabled, the poor, veterans, women, regardless of skin color and heritage; LGBTQA+, Native and Indigenous Americans, Latin Americans, Asian Americans, African Americans, and immigrants who did absolutely nothing wrong in applying for U.S citizenship….basically all so a small handful of corrupt billionaire$ can own everyone and everything, while flushing our hard earned government safety nets down the White Trash House toilet.
@2 pat L: +1 for the WIN!!! Indeed, Wally Gator is long overdue in helping clean out a swamp full of shit.
@4 Jeebus999: Nope, I’m still here. Just late into this comment thread is all.
@10 crystalfarian and @11 Phoebe in Wallingford: Aww….I’m touched that I was missed.
I miss kristofarian. Whether commenters agreed or disagreed with him, I felt he was consistently spot on.
Rest in peace, kris.
@19 thirteen12: Thank you!! B-I-N-G-O!