USA FTW! Credit: Jamie Squire/Getty
USA FTW!
USA FTW! Jamie Squire/Getty

Olympia Republican deflects gun control by citing fake knife attack: During his trip to Norway several years ago, a knife-wielding murderer stabbed over two dozen children at a youth camp, Washington House Minority Leader Rep. Dan Kristiansen recalled. The chilling anecdote was the linchpin to his argument that knife attacks are far more deadly than guns. It was also completely false. This comes as Democrats in Olympia are pushing for more gun control actions like stricter background checks and raising the minimum purchase age to 21. Kristiansen’s fake story may have had a little bit more “oompf” to it if there wasn’t actually an attack on a Norway youth camp. If you recall, there was one in 2011. By a gunman. He killed 69 people. Fact checking is important, Dan.

If the shoe fits: The 13th foot found to wash ashore in British Columbia since 2007 was matched to a Kitsap man. Stanley Okumoto, 79, and his severed foot are a grotesque Cinderella story. His tibia and fibula and attached foot, in a black running shoe and white ankle sock if you want specifics, was found on Vancouver Island beach in December. No foul play is suspected, but no one knows how Okumoto died or how his foot got separated from his body. These seem like big unanswered questions.

Radioactive substances found in cars from Hanford site: A watchdog group independently tested cars Hanford had declared clean. It found traces of Americium-241 in two air filters. Even if the particles were microscopic they could still harm someone’s health. The cars belonged to Hanford site workers. This is the latest in the investigation into Hanford’s spread of contamination.

Seattle Times inspired by our “New to Town” Issue: I mean, not really. But, it talks about Seattle’s history as a boomtown—first the gold rush brought transplants in, then it was building machines for the war, then it was the airplane industry, now we’re saddled with the players in the digital revolution. We’re all transplants, the article argues, so we should all stop being dicks to each other.

Seattleites need to brush up on their vexillology: A Seattle woman sent The Seattle Times a news tip that her Greenwood neighbor was flying a Confederate flag. Nope. Her neighbor is simply a proud Norwegian-American and was flying his country’s colors during the Olympics. Which, Norway is dominating with 13 gold, 11 silver, and nine bronze medals.

What could a banana cost, $10? Ellen DeGeneres played “The Price Is Right” with billionaire Bill Gates. The products were every day grocery store purchases. Gates, who hasn’t been grocery shopping in a “really long time”—and why would he with a $91.3 billion networth?—needed a fair amount of help from the audience. Watch a little if you want. Four minutes is kind of a long time for videos, especially when the video is Bill Gates trying to pretend he’s human.

U.S. Women’s hockey team wins gold over Canada: Hell yeah, we beat them at their own game. Here’s the winning goal. It’s the first gold medal for U.S. women’s hockey in 20 years.

The Today Show cast felt the red, white, and blue coursing through their veins:

This Canadian player seethed at her silver:

The kids are our future: The survivors from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School continue to impress and amaze the nation. Yesterday, at a CNN town hall, the students grilled Sen. Marco Rubio and representatives from the NRA.

Cameron Kasky’s got guts:

It prompted a very 21st century headline: Historians of the future have their work cut out for them.

The next big political debate everyone is looking forward to: The Philadelphia gubernatorial debate! It’s going to be hosted by Alex Trebek. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Trebek is Canadian and also a gameshow host. First off, the Jeopardy! host became a naturalized American citizen in 1998. Second, you watch your damn mouth. I’m sure the Guinness Book of World Records winner for “Most game show episodes hosted by the same presenter” can handle this.

Blabbermouth! New Blabbermouth podcast! Stoneman Douglas survivors rule, college activists drool (arguably), and Wakanda forever!

Uh, what:

Slick, icy roads: Careful, it snowed and temperatures dipped below freezing. Over 150 schools are closed or have delayed starts today.

Update from alley:

We used to have this alley cat. His name, according to his collar, was Kitty. Dumb. I re-Christened him Trash. Because Trash was mangy; he had spots of fur missing from his face, his orange coat was bristly with dirt, and he would shove his way into our house and meow loudly. Also, he kept getting into fights with the other neighborhood cat, Brooklyn.

Trash was a nuisance, an unwelcome house guest we would happily tolerate for like, a minute, but then he’d yowl and we’d toss him back into the alley. He lived across the street in a building my one roommate cherishes for how beautifully out-of-place it is. Trash living there felt almost poetic. He looked like a stray, he acted like a stray, and he was treated like a stray. Yet, he was a transient with a home.

One day last year, it snowed a lot. You remember. There was enough to make a snowman, one with beer bottles for arms. Trash scratched at our door that day, meowing desperately. His owner was gone and he was, again, locked out. This time, it was in the shivering cold. He looked smaller and more gentle, his paws sinking into the snow. We took pity on him and let him inside.

There’s a layer of snow blanketing the alley, currently. It’s quieter out there. Maybe that’s because it’s Thursday and there aren’t any garbage trucks or because the sky is still pink with the first rays of sun. But, snow muffles. It soaks up all the noise, covers all the crags in the sidewalks, and dusts the beer cans caught in tangles of ivy with white powder. Trash doesn’t live here anymore, but I hope he’s somewhere warm.

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: the first night of the Seattle Asian American Film Festival, the beginning of the Seattle Wine and Food Experience, and Live in the Laser Dome: Fungal Abyss and Afrocop.

Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...