Save us from climate change, Bill.
Save us from climate change, Bill. JACK TAYLOR/GETTY IMAGES

The death business comes to Sodo: Recompose is the company that wants to turn you into a tree when you die, or into nutrient-rich compost. A state law was passed this year that legalized human composting. It will go into effect next May. Soon after that, Recompose will open its doors. However, first it needs to figure out where to put all that human soil. The solution? A 640-acre tract of conservation land in Southern Washington that's in desperate need of nutrients.

Epstein guards face criminal charges: The guards who were on duty when Jeffrey Epstein took his own life are expected to face criminal charges for allegedly falsifying criminal records. Epstein's death was ruled a suicide. The guards were supposed to check on him every half-hour and are suspected of (a) not doing that, and (b) lying about it by falsifying prison logs that said that they had. Conspiracy theorists, and also a celebrity mortician pathologist (?), have claimed that Epstein's death was a homicide.

Impeachment hearings continue! Four witnesses will be testifying today starting at 6 a.m. PST. Currently, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, the top Ukraine expert at the National Security Council, has the floor. The Stranger will have more on-going coverage of the hearings as the morning progresses. But here's a glimpse into Vindman's testimony where he thanks his dad for bringing him from Russia to the United States where he can tell truth to power and know he will not be harmed:

Where is Trump? He tweeted yesterday that he would strongly consider testifying, especially if it's a written testimony. But he hasn't been seen in public in a hot minute. Maybe it has something to do with his mysterious visit to the hospital that happened two days ago. The visit wasn't on his schedule, and his last physical was only nine months ago. Is Trump in poor health? Besides, you know, the poor health that only eating well-done steaks with ketchup puts you in. According to the White House's weird late-night memo on Monday, the president is fine and did not have "cardiac or neurologic" evaluations.

Bill Gates feels the heat: In a good way. The billionaire is backing a start-up that harnesses sunlight. Heliogen uses mirrors to concentrate sunlight. It creates so much heat—up to 1,500C currently—that it can power heavy industry like making cement without using any fossil fuels.

Oregon state pension fund is invested in some weird places: Like in Israeli spyware that is used by regressive regimes to target "dissidents, human rights defenders, and journalists." And in two prison companies that also run immigrant detention centers. Oregon was the first sanctuary state.

Did Eric Swalwell fart on live TV? The California representative may have let one rip on air.

Swalwell claims it wasn't him, according to a BuzzFeed News reporter:

A $1,066 toll: A Seattle woman didn't realize she owed Good To Go! tolls until she tried to renew her car tabs. She couldn't renew them because she supposedly owed $500 in tolls. But she claimed she never got a bill in the mail. When she contacted WSDOT multiple times, they told her the bill was more like $1,066. Yikes. If you're driving on toll roads without a Good To Go! pass enough times to rack up more than a thousand dollars in tolls, you should probably assume you owe money and pay the fees online.

Mina Chang steps down: The 35-year-old senior state department official has resigned amid reports that she lied on her résumé to get the job. According to reports, these weren't just little white lies. Chang allegedly claimed she had a degree from the University of Hawaii (she doesn't have a degree from the University of Hawaii), claimed she had role on the United Nations panel (the role she claimed does not exist), claimed she was on the cover of Time magazine (she fabricated a fake cover), and a whole bunch more! She has resigned.

Chang should have said she was on this cover: Because we were all Person of the Year in 2006.

Tacoma to vote on tiny house village: The Tacoma City Council will vote today on whether to green-light a tiny house village in the city. If it passes, a Seattle-based nonprofit, the Low Income Housing Institute, will be paid $380,000 to open and operate the village. It would take a month to get the village functional and it will house 35 people.

Fox ruins everything: The US TV community, Fox, filed a trademark on November 11 for the phrase "OK, boomer" so they can make some sort of show (whether that's scripted, reality, or a game show is still up in the air) about the phrase.

Pompeo reverses 40 years of American policy: Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has announced that Israeli settlements along the West Bank are not violations of international law.

South Seattle gunfight: At around 11 p.m. last night, several armed robbers held up Star 21, a weed store, at gunpoint. Three people were inside at the time of the robbery. They took money and product and are now on the run.

Big news! It's raining! On the day of the year that it's most likely to rain. But this will probably last only through the morning.

That Washington traffic jam yesterday: Started when a Cheesecake Factory truck full of shrimp and cheesecake (quite the combo) caught fire at 1 a.m. near Lakewood. Then, around two hours later, an SUV slammed into two emergency response vehicles. The driver was previously being pursued by Thurston County sheriff's deputies. Here's a Stranger post on some of the other weird shit that's jammed up our traffic.

A long read for your morning: They Can't Stop Us": People Are Having Sex With 3-D Avatars of Their Exes and Celebrities

Today's EverOut picks are: A Joy of Cooking revamp with John Becker and Megan Scott, a show with Massachusetts metalcore band Cave In, and a chance to see women photographers of the African Diaspora at Jacob Lawrence Gallery. See more on our EverOut Things To Do calendar.