Satire or a new feature just in time for Valentines Day?
Satire or a new feature just in time for Valentine's Day? DAVID RYDER/GETTY

Spokane City Council and its tactical police guards: For the last two meetings, there have been eight officers posted up outside council chambers dressed in full tactical gear. There have been some threats related to debate around disgraced Rep. Matt Shea, who notably (among other transgressions) was accused of domestic terrorism. He also had compiled dossiers on the liberal members of the Spokane City Council. While the threats have been specific and enough to drive police to boost their presence, council members are still in the dark about what those threats are.

North Bend gets a quarantine site: If a traveler has been to the Hubei Province in China, there's a chance that they'll get sent to a new North Bend facility to monitor them for signs of coronavirus. This new quarantine site is one of five in the U.S. The other locations are in California, Texas, and Colorado at military bases. The extra fun layer of all of this is that technically speaking, North Bend is the real-life Twin Peaks. Welcome to Twin Peaks, potential coronavirus cases. (I'd watch that spin-off).

No plans to cancel the Olympics: The 2020 summer Olympics are this year in Tokyo. The CEO of the whole thing said he was "seriously worried" about coronavirus's impact on the games. The only times the Olympics have been canceled was during wartime.

Slurrrrrp: That's the sound my brain makes when I look at this radar. Hello, rain.

All aboard to Bremerton: Or from Bremerton. Kitsap County is adding more Fast Ferry service between Seattle and Bremerton. Someone tell Stranger staffer and Bremerton transplant Katie Herzog. This ferry makes 28-minute trips as opposed to the hour-long trips on the state ferry.

A ban on gas-powered cars? Washington is looking into it. There's a bill in the Legislature this session that would ban the sale of fossil fuel-powered passenger vehicles by 2030. With the push toward electric vehicles, it might not be impossible for Washington to pass something like this, according to this column by Danny Westneat.

Oklahoma cross country team tragedy: Six members of a high school cross country team were struck by a truck when they were out on a practice run. The driver, whose own son had died in a car accident the day before, appeared to be impaired, authorities said. Two members of the team have died. Four are being treated at the hospital.

The State of the Union happened: Trump never mentioned impeachment, but he sure implied it. And he did so only with the confidence of a man who is sure he will be acquitted today. "The great American comeback" is this impeached president being cheered on by whoops and hollers and chants of "four more years!" from a Republican party that was so reticent in originally accepting him but has changed tunes as he has desecrated the position of president more than anyone before him. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Emboldened by that and an embarrassing day for Democrats in Iowa, Trump's speech felt horrifyingly like a premonition for 2020. Here's a full transcript.

He gave Rush Limbaugh the PRESIDENTIAL MEDAL OF FREEDOM: Yes. You heard that right. The conservative radio host, Rush Limbaugh, who just announced he has lung cancer. Medal of Freedom. My brain... it's... short-circuiting.

Nancy Pelosi ripped up Trump's State of the Union address: On Twitter, this snippet of Pelosi literally ripping up Trump's speech is being interpreted in two different ways by a couple of different hashtags. There's "#nancyisabadass" that's a completely different interpretation to the "#PettyPolosi" and "#PelosiMeltdown."

The final impeachment vote is today: It will take place at 1 p.m. PST.

Anonymous hacked the United Nations: The UN website now displays a pro-Taiwan message. The page has been live for around 14 hours without the UN taking it down. Taiwan was removed from the UN in 1971 in favor of communist China.

Science is amazing: Frostbitten cat fitted with 3D printed prosthetics after losing all of her feet.

Florida police found a literal bag full of drugs:

Bird poop or cocaine? Last summer, Georgia Southern University's quarterback was arrested for possession of cocaine. He was pulled over in a traffic stop and then arrested when the police officer spotted a mysterious substance on the hood of his car. It had to be cocaine. Right...? No, no, it was, in fact, not cocaine, but bird poop. The arresting officer has recently handed in his resignation notice.

I don't care if this video is dumb: I love it.

Love Slog AM/PM?

Check out this parody site: It's Amazon Dating. You can choose love language options and desired height for all products featured on Amazon Dating. There are fun easter eggs hidden around the site. You can find those... or maybe you'll find love? Today's "Deal of the Day" is 87-year-old Teddy who "leaves a voicemail every time" and "will watch the sunset with you."

Today's best entertainment options are: An evening of folk music with Loudon Wainwright III, a Lidia Yuknavitch book talk, and Trixie Mattel: Grown Up 2020. See more on our EverOut Things To Do calendar.