Kirsten Harris-Talley learning last night that she had 49.66% of the vote in the primary to represent the 37th District in Olympia.
Kirsten Harris-Talley learned last night that she had 49.66% of the vote (!!) in the primary to represent the 37th District in Olympia. Courtesy of KHT

The tears! The drinking! The masks! The Stranger was covering the early primary results last night, as well as the candidates' reactions to those results. Read all about it here. The candidates who had the best nights included...

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Pramila Jayapal! Total boss. 80 percent. We're re-watching these recent videos today to celebrate.

Kirsten Harris-Talley! She's "the real deal. She's the whole package," as we wrote in our endorsement. She supports a capital gains tax, she supports a state income tax, and she’s passionate about addressing air quality inequity.

Sherae Lascelles! They told us last night, “I will be honest to say I didn’t expect such a spread.” They are currently in second, and will most likely be the one facing Frank Chopp in the general.

Sherae Lascelles was drinking Sugar-Free Zero Ultra Monster as returns came in.
Sherae Lascelles was drinking Sugar-Free Zero Ultra Monster as returns came in. Courtesy of Sherae for State

Liz Berry! "I’m kind of in shock to be in honest with you," she told The Stranger about her first-place finish.

David Hackney! He was celebrating at a socially distanced gathering at the Inner Urban Hotel in Tukwila.

Hide your kids, hide your wives, hide your office chairs... Biggest loser of the night Tim Eyman—after throwing parties and rallies around the state where he encouraged his followers to break the rules, not wear masks, and not distance—came in fourth place last night.

Eyman covers his mouth as he learns he came in fourth last night. No just kidding, this is from an April our penises are so small we refuse to wear masks rally he threw in Olympia in April.
Eyman covers his mouth as the results come in. No just kidding, this is from an April "our penises are so small we refuse to wear masks because that's emasculating" rally he threw in Olympia. Karen Ducey / Getty Images

Terrible crash in Kent: Last night.

Attempted kidnapping in Everett: "Authorities said a 12-year-old boy was running through the complex, across from Mariner High School, when a 44-year-old man wearing a dark hoodie and black mask jumped out of the woods and tried to grab him."

New York Times journalist writes about being in Beirut during yesterday's explosion: "When the world stopped cracking open, I couldn’t see at first because of the blood running down my face. After blinking the blood from my eyes, I tried to take in the sight of my apartment turned into a demolition site. My yellow front door had been hurled on top of my dining table."

The cost of groceries: Has been "rising at the fastest pace in decades."

This asshole: "President Donald Trump said Wednesday that he’s considering delivering his Republican convention acceptance speech from the White House in a move that would mark an unprecedented use of public property for partisan political purposes," the Associated Press reports.

Meanwhile in Michigan: Rashida Tlaib prevailed in that primary like it was no big thing.

Pete Hamill: The man with "a storied career as a New York journalist, novelist and essayist for more than a half century, died on Wednesday in Brooklyn. He was 85."

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Mark Hamill: Don't worry, he's still alive and he's still tweeting.

Who's the Boss? The '80s sitcom is coming back, and Tony Danza and Alyssa Milano will both be in it.

Tickets available on a sliding scale.
It's baaaaaack! Tickets available on a sliding scale.

Whatcha doing Friday? This has nothing to do with Les Misérables, it's just the one name that made us laugh every time we said it. It's five of the hottest musical-theater actors in Seattle singing their favorite songs in the universe and talking about their lives as actors and activists. The show is just over and hour, and really funny—and the more you choose to pay, the more each actors makes! Get your ticket now.