Breast wishes to you, Erotic Bakery!
  • theeroticbakery.com
  • Breast wishes to you, Erotic Bakery!

On Monday, we announced that the Erotic Bakery is closing its doors at the end of September after nearly 30 years in business (boooooo!). While there's still about a month for everyone to get their boob and/or dick cake fix, owner Kimmie Barnett gave us the scoop on why the shop is closing down, how many penis cakes they've sold over the years, and which celebrities they've sold 'em to.

Sponsored
Experience music on the meadow! Final ZooTunes lineup announced!

Why are you closing? And do you know when your last day of business will be?

We are closing because it is time for me to retire. I have tried to sell the business, however most folks do not wake up one day and say, "Hey! I think I want to own the Erotic Bakery! Wow! It's for sale!" We live in Enumclaw (go Hornets!). It's a drive for our family to get there daily. Our last official day will be Tuesday, September 30th. We may be open through that weekend if someone else does not move in right away—however, no orders those days, only walk-in sales.

The store’s been in business for almost 30 years, right? How many penis cakes have you made in that time?

Well, we may never know, however, we like to say that we have over 20 million inches served!

What has been your best-selling creation?

Cupcakes, with any sculptures. Folks buy them by the dozens! Not only are they adorable, they taste great!

Have you ever made an erotic cake for a celebrity?

[Caution: NSFW image after the jump!]

Eat it.
  • theeroticbakery.com
  • Eat it.

Why, yes! We have! Numerous. Some are sworn to secrecy—however, two come to mind that will be some of my very favorites. One was the 50th anniversary cake for the Seafair Pirates, and the other was JP Patches' 80th birthday cake, which was a proclamation of the city's love for our favorite clown.

Was there ever a request for a cake creation that you would not make? I’d imagine it takes a lot to cross the line, but maybe it’s been done!

Unfortunately, yes. We will NEVER do a cake or likeness that depicts harm or hate. These are not a cause for celebration.

Do you ship cakes or cookies? Can folks outside of Seattle get one last erotic treat? (And if so, how do you make sure the marzipan members stay intact?)

We ship cookies within the Continental US. Sculptures and cakes, no. We can't make sure that sculptures stay intact, so we just don't.

Once you close your doors, are there any places you can recommend for folks to get their dirty cake fix? I’d imagine QFC wouldn’t take such requests…

As far as I know, we are the only bakery this side of the Rockies that does things the way we do them. My best advice is to get a cake or sculpture now and freeze it for later! Hopefully one day my top decorator Desirae will carry on in our family's tradition.

Is there anything you would like to add?

Yes. A huge yes! We have been a very small business in Seattle with a very big following of loyal customers. I love that we have second and third generations of families celebrating with our goods. We will miss you all! Brian, my husband, and I would like to thank our amazing sons, MacGyver, Bennie, and Brandon, for being the best employees we could ask for. Thanks to their many friends who help us as well. Thanks a million to Desirae, the glue that holds our bakery together—the next bakery to hire you will be the luckiest bakery ever. Look for big things to come from this girl! The staff that proudly calls themselves the Erotic Bakery wishes everyone breast wishes and final blows!