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Jay Inslee isn’t exactly a rock-throwing, kayak-paddling, oligarchy-smashing progressive radical. But he is a solid Democrat who does his best to make change. And his Republican opponent, Bill Bryant, is a fucking moron.

Bryant, who previously held a position as Seattle port commissioner, only decided to say he wouldn’t be voting for Donald Trump a year into the brazenly racist, sexist, and Islamophobic candidate’s campaignโ€”long after Trump had reenergized America’s dormant white supremacist right with a number of positions and statements that should have disqualified him at the outset.

The Stranger Election Control Board is composed of staff writers and editors who volunteer to grill, research, fight over, and ultimately endorse candidates running for office in local, state, and federal...