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Congratulations! You’re single! Or you’re polyamorous? Or you’re a unicorn? Whatever the case, you’re on your phone and you’re looking for love.

But once you find a match, where do you go on that first date? You can’t stop by the place you always go, unless you want to have this awkward conversation with all your friends: “Oh, hey, friend! Uh. Yeah, this person claims to be Terry. We’re just, you know, tacitly admitting to each other that we’ve outsourced our romantic lives to an application on our phone. Okay bye!”

Obviously, you want to go to a place that you like but don’t often frequent, a place that reflects your rich interior, but also one that doesn’t give too much away. Someone recently asked for my short list of such places. Depending on what your regular spots are, results may vary.

Rich Smith is The Stranger's former News Editor. He writes about politics, books, and performance. You can read his poems at www.richsmithpoetry.com