Slog tipper Rod sent us this photo of a tree in Volunteer Park that has fallen over the brick amphitheater.

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Rod’s subject line says “Fallen Tree Damages Amphitheater at Volunteer Park.” Which is too bad. That simple hunk of brick has seen lots of action—and it gives me an excuse to tell this story.

Back when I was doing interviews for “An Actor Postpones,” an article about how actors kill time backstage, I heard a story about this amphitheater that wouldn’t fit into the article:

There’s an actor (let’s call him Philip) who has a reputation for enjoying all kinds of carnal pleasures. The man’s no prude. One summer, Philip was in a production at this amphitheater and had to use the restroom (which has a reputation for carnal pleasures). He ducks in and immediately ducks back out again, pale and shaken. He won’t tell his fellow actors exactly what he saw in there, but it was something that even he, the big old libertine, found shocking.

That’s just one tiny story about that brick wall—I’m sure there are much better ones. But every time I pass it, I wonder what John Philip saw. If that old amphitheater could talk…

Brend an Kiley has worked as a child actor in New Orleans, as a member of the junior press corps at the 1988 Republican National Convention, and, for one happy April, as a bootlegger’s assistant in Nicaragua....

12 replies on “Of Amphitheaters and Damage”

  1. If the Volunteer Park amphitheater could talk, it would thank Seattle Gay Pride organizers for moving everything downtown, thus keeping dozens of staggeringly dull speechifyers off its stage every year.

  2. Ha! “oops”

    Ok, local theater people….who in your sordid, commie tribe is named John, has done theater in the park (Shakespeare perhaps?), and has a reputation for being a lecherous, lascivious, crapulous sleaze bucket? I have my bus ready. Please toss your candidate under said bus and I will toot the horn and enjoy the whole show while I drink an orange slushy. Because that is what I drink at the Under The Bus Show, whether or not it involves a story with a port-a-crapper. You may begin.

  3. I have long thought that ampitheatre does not get nearly enough use as a summertime venue. the occasional play, two or three concerts, and that’s about it for the summer months. The two times I have seen music performed there(both during decibel fest), were awesome. Who on Slog wants to organize a weekly concert in the park there in the summer with local bands/DJ’s? I think it could be hit.

  4. I witnessed late night naked shenanigans on that stage involving roman candles, porn, and almost, just almost a half rack of PBR stolen from Slats. We gave it back, don’t worry.

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