Indias so good at winning that she broke Stacey McKenzies face.
This is Stacey McKenzie’s “damn girl, you won three challenges” face. CBS Television Distribution. Collage by author.

We’re 10 episodes deep into this ANTM remake and the girls have shed enough tears to fill a tank at Sea World. (Meaning, a tiny tank.) This week, the show serves a hefty scoop of female empowerment alongside our normal cryfest. Badasses Amber Rose and Stacey McKenzie join the episode, Platform Power, leading the girls as they create their own PSAs against victim shaming and get makeovers as famous pop stars (and Tyra Banks). At face value, the episode’s a love letter to contemporary feminism, but some of the unnecessary feuds between the girls undermine the overall message.

I dont think theyre getting it.
“I don’t think they’re getting it.” —Amber Rose, on the girls CBS Television Distribution. Collage by author.

In their group challenge, the girls create promo vids for Amber Rose’s SlutWalk, which “aims to impact and uplift while shifting the paradigm of rape culture.” It’s a pretty bomb challenge that requires the girls to chat about feminism and also ride a dolly while dodging what appear to be lightsabers. Oh, and then they break literal glass ceilings. Simple, right? Well, for an episode about unity and female empowerment, the show spends a useless amount of time on surreal drama between the twins. Tash returns this week and Cody (her twin) can’t, like, deal with it.

Here’s the thing: I’m all for a good catfight. This is reality TV. Watching reality TV and complaining about everyone being mean is like watching a cage fight and complaining about the blood. Like, who invited you? But what’s frustrating with this episode is the unnecessary comparisons between the girls. Watching Cody fall apart whenever her sister does well (and vice versa) is painful. It’s shitty that the show is bent on allowing only one of the twins to succeed.

It all kinda reminded me of a tweet Phillip Picardi, the Digital Editorial Director of Teen Vogue, sent to a fan this week who applauded Teen Vogue for being boss and calling out Nazis, but chided Elle and Marie Claire for writing about lame-o stuff like tuxedo suits and heels. The gist of it:

“Thank you very much for supporting us! But I also want to point out that magazines like Elle and Marie Claire have been writing about politics long before Teen Vogue was, and their coverage of the election and of President Trump has been solid and devoted… The same way we discourage pitting women against each other, I’d discourage us from pitting these brands against one another. (We are much stronger together.)”

(Click on the tweet below to read Picardi’s full response.)

What I’m saying is that Cody is Teen Vogue and Tash is Marie Claire. They’re both the shit and they both have unique qualities. I’m not sure why (especially on an episode devoted to female empowerment) the show spent so much time making identical twins feud over the fact they both exist and are both models. As Madonna said at the Women’s March on Washington a few weeks ago: “There is power in our unity… No opposing force stands a chance in the face of true solidarity.”

In the main challenge, the girls embody powerful women in a photo shoot. Their assignments:

Courtney = Madonna
Tash = Tina Turner
Cody = Grace Jones
Cory Anne = Beyonce
Paige = Britney Spears
India = Katy Perry
Tatiana = Tyra Banks

Basically: Drew Elliot skeptically glares at Courtney. Cody almost melts down over her sister’s success (even though her shot is just as good). Tatiana looks more RuPaul than Tyra Banks. India makes me want to like Katy Perry again. Elliot yells at Paige, “We’re not doing, like, a Vegas impersonation.” And Cory Anne makes Beyoncé seem boring.

Gimme more, Paige. Gimme, gimme more.
Gimme more, Paige. Gimme, gimme more. CBS Television Distribution. Collage by author.

WINNER WINNER: India & Tash

I wouldn’t have predicted that India was going to be the show’s strongest competitor. Tatiana, Binta, and Courtney were my original picks. Tatiana has that classic ’90s supermodel vibe (hell, the producers even had her model as Tyra Banks this week), and Courtney has the popular “I Got This $8.99 Choker From Forever 21 And Now I Can’t Stop Doing Anal” look. (I promise that link is totally SFW.) But India, a charming, sweet girl from Seattle (!!!) who describes herself as a “rocker chick,” gives Gigi Hadid face combined with a rainbow pixie whimsy. (Rita Ora’s best choice this entire season was dying India’s hair.) 10/10 would be happy if she won the season.

Oh yeah, Tash won, too! But, IMO, Tash’s win was tacked on because the judges don’t want India to win every week and the producers are loving this twin drama. Oy vey.

BYE BYE: Paige

It’s time to say goodbye to our slackjawed valedictorian. Paige, an all-around good person who will probably succeed at most things she attempts in life, takes her bow this week. She was a perfect Britney Spears, but she ultimately didn’t show enough versatility to stick around. I will miss screenshotting her kooky faces.

Chase Burns is The Stranger's former editor. He's covered everything from gay luchadores to chemical weapons to Isabella Rossellini's favorite pets.