My Boyfriend’s Hipster Beard Prevents Him From Going Down On Me

I’m a straight female from the West Coast. My boyfriend has let his beard and mustache grow really long. He has shaved twice in our year-long relationship and I love his face, which I can’t see anymore.

When we first started dating I mentioned I was not into the beard and he shaved it. He also shaved it when he met my mom and dad. The problem is in addition to his beard not being visually appealing I can no longer kiss him because the mustache is so long. It really sucks as when we are having sex I don’t feel intimate without kissing. That and he doesn’t go down on me anymore since the beard “gets in the way.” I don’t understand his attachment to the beard because he keeps nice and tidy down there.

I think it may be a fashion thing because he’s a hipster but it makes him look much older and he always gets food in at when we are eating. I’ve told him I don’t like it and he said, “How would you feel if someone told you they didn’t like a part of your body?” He is a wonderful man, very caring, and supportive and I do love him but I’m frustrated then he won’t shave for me. What should I do?

Scraggly Hairs Aren’t Very Enticing

So he’s keeping it “nice and tidy” down there? Let me guess…. you’re still blowing him, right? — Dan

Yes, I am. — SHAVE

So… if your boyfriend put an addition on your house—say a bedroom for himself, maybe, where he insisted on sleeping every night—and this addition made it impossible for him to kiss you or go down on you but he included a glory-hole he could shove his dick through so you could still go down on him… would you show up on the other side of the bedroom wall to blow him? Or would you maybe do something else? — Dan

I wouldn’t even give him the guest bedroom at this point. I’m really frustrated. Should I break up with him? — SHAVE

Yes, you should. Not because his body isn’t his body—it’s his body and he’s free to do what he likes with it—but because your body is yours, SHAVE, and you’re free to do what you like with your body. And if your body isn’t getting the attention it needs from your boyfriend… take your body elsewhere. If he’d rather have a long, scraggly unkempt beard than EAT YOUR FUCKING PUSSY… yeah, you gotta go (Come home with a set of braces you don’t need and that prevent you from sucking his dick, SHAVE, and watch how fast he breaks up with you.) — Dan