The other week, I was blessed (by Jesus, I’m pretty sure!) with the opportunity to visit a most wondrous land, entitled “A Whole Bunch of Michael Jackson’s Stuff Sitting in a Big Room.” You see, Michael Jackson accidentally got suuuper destitute, because he spent all of his money on child-sized flying carpets and gold-plated best friends and Teaching Your Pet Chimp Sign Language for Dummies, so he decided to auction off his crazy-shit collection to raise some bucks. All of which meant that people—like ME—could go look at it at an auction house in Los Angeles! At the shit! For a minute! (Later, MJ changed his mind and demanded his shit back, but whatevs. He can’t take back what’s already in my eyeballs.) The most spectacular entry in Michael’s creepy, baroque boudoir of shame was a 1991 oil painting by one Ralph Cowan, depicting “Apocalyptic Scene with Portrait of Michael Jackson in Armor.” Let us explore it in detail. (Click image at right.)
Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more.... More by Lindy West
I LOVE YOU LINDY!!
I LOVE YOU ADRIAN RYAN! wait…
Lindy rocks my world on a weekly basis.
And what happened to Adrian Ryan, anyways?
you gotta see Paul Scheer’s (Human Giant dude) photos from that exhibit
who gives a shit
zzz
Douchebag, how the fuck am I supposed to read your fucking tiny writing fuck fuck?
Goodness the apocalypse will be worse than I feared. That was hilarious, Lindy!
Upper right corner — that’s a king on the left side of the urn and (presumably) a queen on the right side of the urn.
wow, I didnt realize michel jackson looked that good.
What about his other arm? Clearly a white, rather hairy man’s arm. Or is he pulling the old not-my-arm trick with a guy who’s standing behind him? Horus?
Lindy is on a roll lately. This made me roffle.
This may be the best thing I have ever read.
I must mention how disappointed I was that there was no apparent Captain EO paraphernalia at that auction.
Quit whining about the size. Save it. Enlarge it. Easy. Funny.
Absolutely disturbing. A friend of mine in LA recently tried persuading me to go to this exhibit and I politely declined…this picture settles the argument (in my head) of why I didn’t go.
so how do we get this for Strangercrombie?