“Don’t Stand So Close to Me”
The only kind of policeman I can stand.
The only kind of policeman I can stand. JK

Pretty sure this one is courtesy of Zeeks Pizza. You know I had to share this song with you:

“Oh No It’s Humans”
Same.
Same. JK

Thanks, Cora Lee!

“SPD Is…”
The context for this sticker seemed important.
The context for this sticker seemed important. JK

Spotted near 12th Avenue and E John.

“Burrito Unicorns Are Among Us”
Burrito Unicorns are my favorite animal.
Burrito Unicorns are my favorite animal. JK

I might have posted this one before, but I love it so much! Thanks, starheadboy for creating one of the best cryptids of all time.

“Tis a Lovely Day for Abolition”
Despite the gray weather.
Despite the gray weather. JK

Speaking of abolition, have you read our endorsement for city attorney yet?

“It’s Not a Phase, Mom”
Can anyone identify who this is?
Can anyone identify who this is? JK

In the process of looking up who exactly is on this sticker, I found out that the phrase “It’s not a phase, Mom” is considered a meme.

“The Thin Red Peel”
Been seeing this all over Capitol Hill.
Been seeing this all over Capitol Hill. JK

I’ve already documented one iteration of these stickers, and I’ve seen a couple other variations as well. Do you know who made them? You know where to find me!

“Your 20s Are Overrated”
Spotted in Nacho Borrachos bathroom.
Spotted in Nacho Borracho’s bathroom. JK

I really hope this is true! [Eds note: It’s not. Your 20s rule.]

“Person on a Leash”
Forgot where I spotted this one but its so good.
Forgot where I spotted this one but it’s so good. JK

Love that this is singed into wood.

“MDMA”
Happy Friday :)
Happy Friday 🙂 JK

Some censored yaoi porn to finish off this column. Stay dry out there! And thanks, instant.ly.

As always, if any of these stickers belong to you, please e-mail me at jkeimig@thestranger.com.

Jas Keimig is a former staff writer at The Stranger, where they covered visual art, film, stickers, and culture.