Something that should have been a claim to fame for Washington State is now the subject of bragging rights for California—and, like a doughnut made by a livid baker, I am filled with both jelly and anger. Next month will see the debut of Lowell Farms: A Cannabis Cafe, a space in West Hollywood that will offer guests the opportunity to purchase and consume cannabis in a well-appointed restaurant/bar setting.
Washington and our tourists would obviously despise the idea of having such a thing in our fine state, which has to be the reason we’ve consistently shot down any legislative effort put forward to allow any social consumption spaces. But, you know, good for West Hollywood, I guess. The people behind this are the cofounders of well-known cannabis brand Lowell Herb Co., whose pre-rolls, Lowell Smokes, are carried at hundreds of California dispensaries.
The Hollywood Reporter‘s story includes artist renderings of what the space will look like—airy, open, and filled with natural light and plants. The story mentions that in keeping with the brand’s eco-conscious messaging, “Core elements of the cafe are sourced from local artisans, and everything from the wood on the tables and benches to the silverware is reclaimed and reused.”
Good luck getting anyone from Pacific Wonderland to sign off on that hand-me-down nonsense, Goodwill Gloria! Everyone knows that Washingtonians like things that are new and shiny and wrapped in a hectare of plastic. Reused silverware sounds like commie silverware.
Guests will be able to purchase cannabis products sourced from “dozens of small family farms up and down the coast of California,” and consume those products on site, selecting from a wide range of bongs, pipes, papers, and high-end vape pens. Guests will be assisted by budtenders, as the cafe owners say that one of their key objectives is education.
I’m not sure how I feel about teaching consumers how to make better choices when purchasing and consuming cannabis. It seems that might lead to safer and more pleasurable experiences for everyone. Who wants that?
Lowell’s was one of 300 applicants for the eight “cannabis consumption licenses” that were made available in West Hollywood, and their original plan was to complement their flower and concentrate offerings with food and beverages infused with 10 milligrams of THC and/or CBD. The owners are holding off on that aspect until regulatory rules about such things are clarified.
The cafe won’t simply cater to Angelenos. “While people go to places like Amsterdam for cannabis tourism, they are also coming to Los Angeles; there are beautiful hotels to stay in, but where does that person consume cannabis?” one of the cafe owners tells the Hollywood Reporter. “Not in a dispensary, in the park, on the streets, in the hotel room. The city agreed that this was an unfriendly stance to take to cannabis tourism, so it created the first cannabis consumption license in America.”
Washington doesn’t need anything like this, as we are perfectly content to hot-box in our Subarus (which is illegal) or duck into an alley to burn one down (which is also illegal), just as our state’s tourists totally enjoy stuffing towels at the base of their hotel room doors to consume the cannabis they just paid taxes to the city and state to buy.