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Friday, February 11, 2011

Hello, I Am Fat

Posted by on Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 3:53 PM

28 years old, female, 59, 263 lbs.
  • 28 years old, female, 5'9", 263 lbs.
This is my body (over there—see it?). I have lived in this body my whole life. I have wanted to change this body my whole life. I have never wanted anything as much as I have wanted a new body. I am aware every day that other people find my body disgusting. I always thought that some day—when I finally stop failing—I will become smaller, and when I become smaller literally everything will get better (I've heard It Gets Better)! My life can begin! I will get the clothes that I want, the job that I want, the love that I want. It will be great! Think how great it will be to buy some pants or whatever at J. Crew. Oh, man. Pants. Instead, my body stays the same.


There is not a fat person on earth who hasn't lived this way. Clearly this is a TERRIBLE WAY TO EXIST. Also, strangely enough, it did not cause me to become thin. So I do not believe any of it anymore, because fuck it very much.

This is my body. It is MINE. I am not ashamed of it in any way. In fact, I love everything about it. Men find it attractive. Clothes look awesome on it. My brain rides around in it all day and comes up with funny jokes. Also, I don't have to justify its awesomeness/attractiveness/healthiness/usefulness to anyone, because it is MINE. Not yours.

I'm not going to spend a bunch of time blogging about fat acceptance here (but please read this), because other writers have already done it much more eloquently, thoroughly, and radically than I ever could. But I do feel obligated to try to explain what this all means.

You asked me for links, Dan, so here are some links for you. There are plenty more, but if you want me to go through each one and explain to you how these words and implications hurt and shame people, you're going to have to pay me overtime (in Doritos!!!!!). I get that you think you're actually helping people and society by contributing to the fucking Alp of shame that crushes every fat person every day of their lives—the same shame that makes it a radical act for me to post a picture of my body and tell you how much it weighs. But you're not helping. Shame doesn't work. Diets don't work. Shame is a tool of oppression, not change.

Fat people already are ashamed. It's taken care of. No further manpower needed on the shame front, thx. I am not concerned with whether or not fat people can change their bodies through self-discipline and "choices." Pretty much all of them have tried already. A couple of them have succeeded. Whatever. My question is, what if they try and try and try and still fail? What if they are still fat? What if they are fat forever? What do you do with them then? Do you really want millions of teenage girls to feel like they're trapped in unsightly lard prisons that are ruining their lives, and on top of that it's because of their own moral failure, and on top of that they are ruining America with the terribly expensive diabetes that they don't even have yet? You know what's shameful? A complete lack of empathy.

And if you really claim to still be confused—"Nu uh! I never said anything u guyz srsly!"—there can be no misunderstanding shit like this:

I am thoroughly annoyed at having my tame statements of fact—being heavy is a health risk; rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly—characterized as "hate speech."

Ha!

1. "Rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly" is in no way a "tame statement of fact." It is not a fact at all—it is an incredibly cruel, subjective opinion that reinforces destructive, paternalistic, oppressive beauty ideals. I am not unsightly. No one deserves to be told that they're unsightly. But this is what's behind this entire thing—it's not about "health," it's about "eeeewwwww." You think fat people are icky. Eeeewww, a fat person might touch you on a plane. With their fat! Eeeeewww! Coincidentally, that's the same feeling that drives anti-gay bigots, no matter what excuses they drum up about "family values" and, yes, "health." It's all "eeeewwwww." And sorry, I reject your eeeeeewwww.

2. You are not concerned about my health. Because if you were concerned about my health, you would also be concerned about my mental health, which has spent the past 28 years being slowly eroded by statements like the above. Also, you don't know anything about my health. You do happen to be the boss of me, but you are not the doctor of me. You have no idea what I eat, how much I exercise, what my blood pressure is, or whether or not I'm going to get diabetes. Not that any of that matters, because it is entirely none of your business.

3. "But but but my insurance premiums!!!" Bullshit. You live in a society with other people. I don't have kids, but I pay taxes that fund schools. The idea that we can somehow escape affecting each other is deeply conservative. Barbarous, even. Is that really what you're going for? Good old-fashioned American individualism? Please.

4. But most importantly: I reject this entire framework. I don't give a shit what causes anyone's fatness. It's irrelevant and it's none of my business. I am not making excuses, because I have nothing to excuse. I reject the notion that thinness is the goal, that thin = better—that I am an unfinished thing and that my life can really start when I lose weight. That then I will be a real person and have finally succeeded as a woman. I am not going to waste another second of my life thinking about this. I don't want to have another fucking conversation with another fucking woman about what she's eating or not eating or regrets eating or pretends to not regret eating to mask the regret. OOPS I JUST YAWNED TO DEATH.

If you really want change to happen, if you really want to "help" fat people, you need to understand that shaming an already-shamed population is, well, shameful. Do you know what happened as soon as I rejected all this shit and fell in unconditional luuuuurve with my entire body? I started losing weight. Immediately. WELL LA DEE FUCKING DA.

Eds. note: Dan Savage's response is over here.

 

Comments (1431) RSS

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1
Lindy I love you.
Posted by odonata on February 11, 2011 at 4:01 PM · Report this
2
This is bullshit. I weighed 238 lbs on Jan 1st, and today I weigh 215. That's 23 lbs in 6 weeks (actually less than 6).

It wasn't even that hard. I quit beer (which I've broken like 3 times), I quit fried foods, I quit sweets, and I quit chips/snacks. etc. Then I went running every day (something I've never done in my life).

You can lose weight if you want. You just don't want to because you're lazy. I was like that until this year, and I was like "What the fuck, being fat is stupid."

You know what tastes better than doughnuts? Not being fat.
Posted by andrew http://seattletransitblog.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:01 PM · Report this
Fistique 3
You're pretty awesome, Lindy.
Posted by Fistique on February 11, 2011 at 4:02 PM · Report this
4
Sing it, sister.
Posted by Hannah in Portland on February 11, 2011 at 4:02 PM · Report this
blip 5
L-O-V-E. Love.
Posted by blip on February 11, 2011 at 4:02 PM · Report this
6
go Lindy go

Dan is a dick
Posted by downbythefreeway on February 11, 2011 at 4:03 PM · Report this
Josh Bomb 7
I fucking love you Lindy.
Posted by Josh Bomb http://www.satanosphere.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:03 PM · Report this
8
Hey Lindy: I love you. Really, I do. Thanks for posting this.
Posted by shantastic on February 11, 2011 at 4:04 PM · Report this
9
Fat Acceptance is your problem, not anyone else's. Good for you on loving yourself, however it's not really your place to reject the arguments that being fat a) is unattractive to some, b) is bad for your health, and c) is part of an American epidemic that is driving health care costs through the roof. It is not your place to reject these arguments because a) is not your feeling to accept or reject, and b) and c) are objectively true. The net result of your rant is probably cathartic. Good for you. But "fat acceptance" ends with you. It is in your head - it will hopefully make you feel alright in your body and in your life. Nobody else need accept a fucking thing.
Posted by You have plenty to excuse, fattie on February 11, 2011 at 4:05 PM · Report this
10
@ #2

How wonderful for you. How wonderful that this is YOUR experience.

Now, tell me - I work out five days a week, I don't drink beer, I don't eat fried food, and I have maybe one "sweet" a week. Why aren't I losing weight? Am I just not as awesome as you?

PS - fuck off.
Posted by Hannah in Portland on February 11, 2011 at 4:05 PM · Report this
11
Wowsers. You rule.
Posted by Juan on February 11, 2011 at 4:06 PM · Report this
12
You are all kinds of awesome, Lindy. I love Dan, but you've so got him beat on this issue.
Posted by fallen angel on February 11, 2011 at 4:06 PM · Report this
Keister Button 13
Hey you have nice ankles!
People who will shame fat people will shame practically anyone.
Posted by Keister Button on February 11, 2011 at 4:06 PM · Report this
Callie 14
Damn, girl.
Posted by Callie http://www.facebook.com/Klosetnerd on February 11, 2011 at 4:07 PM · Report this
Eva Hopkins 15
@ 2, but you don't know if she's eating chips, snacks, etc..besides, that's not the point. The point is exactly as put. It's her body, & the whole thinly veiled disgust that she's sensing/dealing with should be addressed.

@ Lindy, do you have a blog anywhere but here?

I so <3 you, it's not funny. BTW. In your other post (RE: Ban Fat Marriage), I slogged (ha) through the Savage Love archives to find examples of Dan talkin' 'bout obesity. (#79).

Great photo, Lindy, & cute shirt too.
Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.lunamusestudios.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:08 PM · Report this
Gurldoggie 16
Amen.
Posted by Gurldoggie http://gurldogg.blogspot.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:08 PM · Report this
17
Yes, yes, a million times yes.

Posted by motomotoyama on February 11, 2011 at 4:09 PM · Report this
pissy mcslogbot 18
"Shame is a tool of oppression, not change."

hell to the fuck yeah!!!!
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on February 11, 2011 at 4:09 PM · Report this
Sachi 19
I'll be damned. Good for you!
Posted by Sachi http://web.me.com/thorw/Claire_and_Sachi on February 11, 2011 at 4:10 PM · Report this
Parsnip 20
You fuckin' rule.
Posted by Parsnip http://www.funnyanimalbooks.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:11 PM · Report this
21
Great post, Lindy. Don't let the asshats bring you down!
Posted by Gillian Anderson on February 11, 2011 at 4:11 PM · Report this
Vince 22
I love you Lindy! Just the way you are!
Posted by Vince on February 11, 2011 at 4:12 PM · Report this
23
Lindy, thank you.

Thank you for being a voice for those who are too scared/shy/embarrassed to stand up for themselves.

Thank you for calling out the unfair prejudice people face due to their size/weight.

Thank you for being proud of who you are. I hope you continue to be an advocate for 'people of size' (I hate that term but it's better that 'fatties') and remind us that we should be able to come to terms and follow your example.

You are an inspiration. Thank you.
Posted by TheBean on February 11, 2011 at 4:12 PM · Report this
sam2300 24
As a skinny gay man, I just have to say I think you're absolutely beautiful -- not that you needed any validation from me. Just sayin'.
Posted by sam2300 on February 11, 2011 at 4:12 PM · Report this
25
lindy wins!
Posted by olive on February 11, 2011 at 4:13 PM · Report this
Centopar 26
Lindy, you're just the best thing ever. Love this. Thanks.
Posted by Centopar on February 11, 2011 at 4:13 PM · Report this
DowntownTaylor 27
Well said, Lindy!
Posted by DowntownTaylor http://www.digitaltaylor.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:13 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 28
@6 and Lindy ftw

Dan for the epic fail.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 11, 2011 at 4:13 PM · Report this
29
I feel like I need to lose some weight but thanks for making me feel better, not because I agree with you that it is ok to be morbidly obese, but because I realized that I am 6 inches taller than you and weigh far less. I feel good about myself by comparison to your fat ass and that is a great way to start the weekend.

p.s. you can easily lose weight by not eating so god damn much and getting some exercise, you just have to decide to do it like quitting smoking.
Posted by econoline on February 11, 2011 at 4:13 PM · Report this
30
Amen Lindy. I wish I could have read this post when I was in grades 5-9. I used cry almost every day in the shower. My mom threatened to take me to a therapist (the family couldn't afford). All because people called me "bubble butt"
Posted by Kelly O on February 11, 2011 at 4:13 PM · Report this
31
Bravo Lindy!
Posted by unpaid reader on February 11, 2011 at 4:14 PM · Report this
32
@2 Let's check in with you in about a year. Thanks. ha ha! Why do you think people call it a roller coaster? Guaranteed you will weigh more than you started out before you lost... Ok yeah it can be done, but, it is really rare to keep it off.

I love how skinny people think fat is lack-of-will and how ripped muscular people think skinny is unmotivated and how heteros think that gay is a choice. And the world goes round... ( : =
Posted by subwlf on February 11, 2011 at 4:14 PM · Report this
33
you're going to have to pay me overtime (in Doritos!!!!!)


har!
Posted by six shooter on February 11, 2011 at 4:14 PM · Report this
leek 34
Bra-fucking-vo.

I already knew you were awesome, and taking on your boss for his hypocrisy just makes you that much more awesome. Are you taking applications for best friend?
Posted by leek on February 11, 2011 at 4:14 PM · Report this
35
Yet somehow all these fatties didn't exist to console each other in their fatness until we started getting stuffed with processed foods and sugary shit.

There is absolutely no way 5'9" 263lbs is acceptable and this is a classic example of not thinking you can fix it because you don't know how to fix it.

Here is a tip: stop reviewing burger joints!
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/uneed…

U certainly didn't "needa" burger.

"Oh, and also, aside from the chocolate milk shake (AWESOME, even though it was technically a black-and-white, which I usually do NOT condone), everything else was kind of legit gross. Onion rings ($4) were battered so thickly they resembled Krispy Kreme doughnuts with a fryer-fat glaze of visible grease. And a small Cobb salad ($5)—despite a promising abundance of hard-boiled egg—was weirdly both sweet and bitter, with a dressing reminiscent of frozen Minute Maid lemonade concentrate. We picked out the bacon and left the rest. But you know what? Guess how much I cared? Zero. Zero much. I am smitten with another."

Gross.
Posted by douchelord on February 11, 2011 at 4:15 PM · Report this
Eva Hopkins 36
@ 9 - Being too fat is unhealthy. But you make other people not finding it attractive problem #1 on your list. It is totally anyone's place to give to not give a damn whether you find them attractive or not. What an egotistical bastard you must be.

All the other things folks have said about fat on this blog in the past 48 hours - wahh! I'm touching a fat body on an airplane! wahh! Looking at fat people is icky! - is self-absorbed bullshit.

The health problems of obesity are worth discussing in a serious, non neener neener fatty, kinda way. But part of living in the world is occasionally seeing & being put into contact with people you wouldn't have chosen to. Grow up.
Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.lunamusestudios.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:15 PM · Report this
37
@15
Look, I love Lindy as much as anyone, she is 95% the reason I come to this site (the rest being Mudede).

My point is: you don't get to say "Being fat is like being gay" when in reality you have complete control over being fat.

PS @10 You are clearly not as awesome as I am. What a dumb question. Also, I won't fuck off because this is the internet, silly!
Posted by andrew http://seattletransitblog.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:15 PM · Report this
HelpMeJebus 38
@29:

That was harsh, and says more about you than it does about her.
Posted by HelpMeJebus on February 11, 2011 at 4:15 PM · Report this
kim in portland 40
I love and respect your courage. Not to mention I envy your curves, too.

Best wishes, Lindy!
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on February 11, 2011 at 4:16 PM · Report this
39
Hey # 2: Let's meet up in six months and see what you weigh. Losing weigh, easy. Keeping weigh off? Hard.
Posted by Grumpy on February 11, 2011 at 4:16 PM · Report this
41
Lindy, my entire life would be different if my family had encouraged me to feel this way. It doesn't matter that they didn't, because I figured that shit out. And I am THRILLED that you have, too. And now, BECAUSE OF YOU, other people will, too. Rock it, girl.
Posted by Jen Graves on February 11, 2011 at 4:17 PM · Report this
rara avis 42
And today is the day that Lindy West totally pwn'd her boss. (And the day she made me use the word "pwn" - I can't forgive her for that.)

You rock, Lindy.
Posted by rara avis on February 11, 2011 at 4:17 PM · Report this
jnmend 43
Lindy West is a total babe.
Posted by jnmend on February 11, 2011 at 4:17 PM · Report this
44
lindy i'd wreck you in bed any day of the week

<3 a loyal reader
Posted by keck@thestranger.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:18 PM · Report this
Miss Stereo 45
Lindy West, I stand and applaud you. Well done, lady.
Posted by Miss Stereo on February 11, 2011 at 4:19 PM · Report this
46
You're a great writer, Lindy, but I'm going to disagree with you.

It is not paternalistic, antrho-chauvo-swinocentric, or anything else to find rolls of fat unsightly. Most people feel this way, in the same way that most people find open sores unsightly. Maybe they're wrong to do so. But it is, bottom line, a statement of fact (inasmuch as a "fact" for a word like "unsightly" is inherently subjective).

Be fat. Enjoy it. Awesome! It's going to be downright attractive to some people, especially with your intelligence and personality. But the rest of us have no obligation to pretend to find fat people attractive when, in fact, we do not. It is unfortunate that there is social pressure on children to conform to fitness norms... in the same way it is unfortunate that there is social pressure to brush your hair and teeth.

And please wait to compare fat people to gays until you aren't allowed to marry. Most gay people don't care if some jerk in Alabama thinks they're going to hell. Gay rights are about equal protections under the law, not muzzling people who find homosexuality offensive. I hope the number of people who feel that way declines over time, just as I genuinely hope the number of people who find fat people to be unattractive declines. But in the meantime, I would never presume to tell those people that they can't speak their honest mind because it violates our right to approval.
Posted by also on February 11, 2011 at 4:19 PM · Report this
Paul Constant 47
This is very fine work, and true all the way through.
Posted by Paul Constant http://https://twitter.com/paulconstant on February 11, 2011 at 4:19 PM · Report this
48
Love, love, love you Lindy.
And someone might want to mention to Dan that sometimes it isn't about the gay, it's about the jerk.
Posted by Mugwumpt on February 11, 2011 at 4:20 PM · Report this
MattBriggs 49
This is awesome. Thanks for writing and posting this Ms. West.
Posted by MattBriggs http://www.finalstatepress.com/mattbriggs on February 11, 2011 at 4:21 PM · Report this
51
Hi Lindy. Thanks for posting this. You look so cute in that picture!

Although I am not fat, there is a part of me in my brain that tells me I'm fat every single day. Guess what? Sometimes it wins and I feel like a piece of shit. And sometimes the old bulimia comes back.

Guess what else? Sometimes there are affirming voices like yours that say "No, you're fine. Go do what you're good at and wear clothes you like, regardless of the number on the tag. Be like Lindy West, who does what she is good at (making jokes! eating burgers! whatever).

So thanks again.
Posted by slackerina on February 11, 2011 at 4:21 PM · Report this
Diana 50
Thank you for writing this. You have no idea how much it means. I love Slog, but the "fat is ewwwww" thing gets really old.
Posted by Diana on February 11, 2011 at 4:21 PM · Report this
52
Seriously. I adore and admire you.

And yeah, there does need to be more of a FUCK OFF approach to dealing with the trolls (and Dan, whom I love). It is too easy to loose sight of the point (dignity and joy) and get caught arguing on their terms. You are my favorite. Hands down. My boyfriend and I read your reviews aloud to each other as soon as you post them. And although I'm sure the shitstorm will be kind of heartbreaking, at least for me, thank you so much for going for it. Seriously. Really admirable. Really impressive. And very kind. Wow.
Posted by DMElkins *registered* on February 11, 2011 at 4:21 PM · Report this
53
You're right. Dan's wrong.Thanks for speaking up.
Posted by goreedgo on February 11, 2011 at 4:22 PM · Report this
54
I'm both fat and lazy, so I probably shouldn't open my mouth. But DAMN you are lookin hot in that photo. Just sayin. Life is too fucking short to worry about other people talking shit.
Posted by tired and true on February 11, 2011 at 4:22 PM · Report this
55
Piling on. This is the best post on Slog. EVER.
Posted by Ericacbarnett on February 11, 2011 at 4:22 PM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 56
Sorry, @2 / 37 -- Lindy already won this one.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on February 11, 2011 at 4:23 PM · Report this
57
Yet somehow all these fatties didn't exist to console each other in their fatness until we started getting stuffed with processed foods and sugary shit.

There is absolutely no way 5'9" 263lbs is acceptable and this is a classic example of not thinking you can fix it because you don't know how to fix it.

Here is a tip: stop reviewing burger joints!
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/uneed…

"U" certainly didn't "needa" burger.

"Oh, and also, aside from the chocolate milk shake (AWESOME, even though it was technically a black-and-white, which I usually do NOT condone), everything else was kind of legit gross. Onion rings ($4) were battered so thickly they resembled Krispy Kreme doughnuts with a fryer-fat glaze of visible grease. And a small Cobb salad ($5)—despite a promising abundance of hard-boiled egg—was weirdly both sweet and bitter, with a dressing reminiscent of frozen Minute Maid lemonade concentrate. We picked out the bacon and left the rest. But you know what? Guess how much I cared? Zero. Zero much. I am smitten with another."

Gross.
Posted by douchelord on February 11, 2011 at 4:23 PM · Report this
58
Lindy, you've got balls. Love it! Also, I think you look put-together and amazing! This was fantastic.

I'm a regular reader (and almost-never commenter) and Dan's posts drive me crazy, but I chalk them up to him needing to grow up a little and having insecurities about himself and his own appearance. That doesn't make it right, though, and I find it alienating as a reader.
Posted by Pickle on February 11, 2011 at 4:23 PM · Report this
Mary P. Traverse 60
Lindy, you rule.
Posted by Mary P. Traverse http://dinosaurnews.tumblr.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:24 PM · Report this
59
God Lindy, THANK YOU. Just thank you.
Posted by bellelaide on February 11, 2011 at 4:24 PM · Report this
danindowntown 61
Note to Ms. West: KUDOS TO YOU and BALLS TO DAN SAVAGE!!! Your writing usually annoys the hell out of me but this nearly brought me to tears. As a gay man on the larger side of HWP I struggle with the same issues and unfortunately haven't empowered myself to give up the impossible high-standards set by the media and body-fascist queens like Savage. This gives me hope and heart. Thanks!
Posted by danindowntown on February 11, 2011 at 4:24 PM · Report this
sugar2s 62
Ditto to all the love for you, Lindy, plus -- you're way funnier than Dan.
Posted by sugar2s on February 11, 2011 at 4:24 PM · Report this
63
Lindy - I didn't want to bother you on Sunday night at the Sasquatch Launch Party, (mostly because I don't know you) but if I did it would have been to say that your dress was aweseome and you wore it beautifully.
Posted by compliment for Lindy on February 11, 2011 at 4:25 PM · Report this
singing cynic 64
All the haters are missing the point - whether "being fat is a choice" or not, it's no ones fucking business what other people put in their bodies. Whether it's cake in your mouth or a cock in your ass, it's no one else's place to give a shit one way or another. DUH. By the way, I am not fat, though at 125 lbs I am frequently made to feel that way.
Posted by singing cynic on February 11, 2011 at 4:26 PM · Report this
65
That was phenomenal.
Posted by Burkuleeze on February 11, 2011 at 4:26 PM · Report this
66
Sock it to 'im, sister! For an encore can you get him to shut up about pitbulls already?

@46 It was Dan that started the gay-fat comparison, yo.
Posted by lilzilla on February 11, 2011 at 4:27 PM · Report this
67
THANK YOU.
Posted by betsystardust on February 11, 2011 at 4:28 PM · Report this
68
Lindy hasn't responded, but don't worry. She's busy downing a huge burger, some onion rings, a milkshake, and an order of fries. Once she finishes she'll be back to comment on why she has tried and failed to lose weight.
Posted by douchelord on February 11, 2011 at 4:28 PM · Report this
69
Beautiful. In body and spirit.

To me, it's like safe sex. Once the public service message is out there about healthy eating, everyone should just pay attention to their own bodies, and not judge other people for theirs.

Posted by EricaP on February 11, 2011 at 4:28 PM · Report this
70
Dear Lindy: You are rad and awesome and hot and smart. A big "FUCK YEAH" to you!

And a big "FUCK YOU" to #2, #29 and especially #46, and anyone else missing the point. SERIOUSLY: OPEN SORES?! I call insane troll logic.
Posted by junkinthetrunk on February 11, 2011 at 4:29 PM · Report this
Philly 71
Man Lindy, I only kinda like your movie reviews, but that shit is amazing and I'm forwarding it to all my friends. Thank You.
Posted by Philly on February 11, 2011 at 4:30 PM · Report this
72
@36: >> But you make other people not finding it attractive problem #1 on your list.

Not my ordering. It was a direct response to the OP's 1/2/3/4 list. I didn't address 4, but #1 was shaming someone for daring to say that rolls of exposed flesh was "unsightly." Tough shit if that hurts Lindy's feelings -- that's something that turns that person off, and she's gotta deal.

>>But part of living in the world is occasionally seeing & being put into contact with people you wouldn't have chosen to. Grow up.

Yeah, people like those who say "ewwww." When it comes to attraction, fat non-acceptance is exactly as valid as fat acceptance. The important battle that overweight people should be fighting is the one against themselves -- their self-talk, their self-hatred. That's the utility in "fat acceptance." The outward-pointing rage? That can fuck right off. Being fat is not rocket science: barring the very slim (lol) minority with thyroid/medical problems, it's a matter of caloric imbalance, brought on by impulsive eating habits and their lack of activity. It isn't anyone else's problem. This is the woman who reviews burger joints and eats beef served between two halves of a Krispy Kreme donut. I doubt very much that "sorry I reject your ewwww" is a more defensible denial of someone's right to be who they are than someone's preference not to witness exposed flesh rolls. It might feel good to pretend that it is, but it is valid to be repulsed if that is their reaction.
Posted by The guy who posted #9 on February 11, 2011 at 4:30 PM · Report this
73
@36: >> But you make other people not finding it attractive problem #1 on your list.

Not my ordering. It was a direct response to the OP's 1/2/3/4 list. I didn't address 4, but #1 was shaming someone for daring to say that rolls of exposed flesh was "unsightly." Tough shit if that hurts Lindy's feelings -- that's something that turns that person off, and she's gotta deal.

>>But part of living in the world is occasionally seeing & being put into contact with people you wouldn't have chosen to. Grow up.

Yeah, people like those who say "ewwww." When it comes to attraction, fat non-acceptance is exactly as valid as fat acceptance. The important battle that overweight people should be fighting is the one against themselves -- their self-talk, their self-hatred. That's the utility in "fat acceptance." The outward-pointing rage? That can fuck right off. Being fat is not rocket science: barring the very slim (lol) minority with thyroid/medical problems, it's a matter of caloric imbalance, brought on by impulsive eating habits and their lack of activity. It isn't anyone else's problem. This is the woman who reviews burger joints and eats beef served between two halves of a Krispy Kreme donut. I doubt very much that "sorry I reject your ewwww" is a more defensible denial of someone's right to be who they are than someone's preference not to witness exposed flesh rolls. It might feel good to pretend that it is, but it is valid to be repulsed if that is their reaction.
Posted by The guy who posted #9 on February 11, 2011 at 4:30 PM · Report this
Sweeney Agonistes 74
Lindy, I know I said thanks for your post yesterday, but I want to say it again now.

Thank you. So much.
Posted by Sweeney Agonistes on February 11, 2011 at 4:31 PM · Report this
icouldliveinhope 75
@10: Thx dude. 2 sucks.

Lindy, I am so glad you posted this.
Posted by icouldliveinhope on February 11, 2011 at 4:32 PM · Report this
Shena Lee 76
i love love love that you wrote this. thank you.
lindy, you are an inspiration. and hella hot.
Posted by Shena Lee http://www.shenalee.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:32 PM · Report this
Hernandez 77
I keep on trying to think of something pithy to say, but I'll just say this:

1. Awesome, awesome post.
2. You are a very beautiful woman.
Posted by Hernandez http://hernandezlist.blogspot.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:32 PM · Report this
Matthew Richter 78
great. like all i needed was a reason to love lindy west a little more.

great post.
Posted by Matthew Richter http://www.xomonline.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:33 PM · Report this
79
lindy - i didn't think i can love you more than i already did. in fact, my husband has always been pretty jealous of how much i have loved the words you put on the page. but now i really want you to be my imaginary girlfriend <3
Posted by deloebrenti on February 11, 2011 at 4:33 PM · Report this
Medina 80
Lindy is right, Dan is wrong. I'm forwarding this to my little sister who is struggles with her weight. I hope it will help her know that it gets better.
Posted by Medina on February 11, 2011 at 4:33 PM · Report this
81
Lindy,

You are beautiful.
Posted by Jeff on February 11, 2011 at 4:33 PM · Report this
82
You only need two words when someone rags on you for your body shape:

1) Fuck

2) Off
Posted by True on February 11, 2011 at 4:34 PM · Report this
83
i don't care if you are fat. just keep your fat in your own airplane/bus/movie theater seat or buy two.

i am skinny and i want that space. it's mine and i paid for it and your matronly, batwing upper arm rolls need to stay on your side of the armrest. if you want more space either lose some density or buy a second seat.

you do that and you can be as fat as you want, i don't care deal?

also, perhaps your mental health would be better if you didn't have to spend all your time coming up with excuses as to why you are happy being fat. your health - and my insurance premiums - will only get better if you put down the krisy kremes. that's a fact.

but again, if you want to be fat, go for it. that's your business.

(i do, however, agree that "rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly" is totally NOT a fact and any idiot who writes a column dedicated to sexual fetishes should know that...)
Posted by the eyeroller on February 11, 2011 at 4:34 PM · Report this
84
Well said.

I don't think we have an obesity epidemic as much as we have a poor health problem. People do not get enough exercise, or eat the right foods, or take care of themselves. Sure some of those people are fat, but a lot are thin. Focusing on weight as the issue misses the point that it is not really how much someone weighs that matters, but their overall level of health.

But when it gets right down to it, while we can help people make better choices or address how areas of low socio-economic status tend to be less walkable and have fewer parks, sometimes people want to make the choices they do and thats their right.

I mean what business of mine why someone weighs what they do. If they really like food and find it a fine trade off, good for them! If they just have a naturally larger body, good for them! I'm bit on the heavy side myself from a combination of those two things. I'll never be thin, but I also know that I certainly do not always eat a healthy diet and could stand a bit more exercise.

Posted by giffy on February 11, 2011 at 4:34 PM · Report this
85
You? Are a shero for writing this. Just AMAZING.
Posted by kellyhogaboom on February 11, 2011 at 4:34 PM · Report this
86
i don't care if you are fat. just keep your fat in your own airplane/bus/movie theater seat or buy two.

i am skinny and i want that space. it's mine and i paid for it and your matronly, batwing upper arm rolls need to stay on your side of the armrest. if you want more space either lose some density or buy a second seat.

you do that and you can be as fat as you want, i don't care deal?

also, perhaps your mental health would be better if you didn't have to spend all your time coming up with excuses as to why you are happy being fat. your health - and my insurance premiums - will only get better if you put down the krisy kremes. that's a fact.

but again, if you want to be fat, go for it. that's your business.

(i do, however, agree that "rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly" is totally NOT a fact and any idiot who writes a column dedicated to sexual fetishes should know that...)
Posted by the eyeroller on February 11, 2011 at 4:34 PM · Report this
biju 87
I thought this was going to be a review of "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son"..
Posted by biju on February 11, 2011 at 4:35 PM · Report this
88
Fuckin'-A Lindy.

Loved the line: "My brain rides around in it all day and comes up with funny jokes."
Posted by gnossos on February 11, 2011 at 4:35 PM · Report this
89
Lindy, you are amazing. How did you get inside my head? How many times have I caught myself thinking "when I'm thinner, I'll be able to xyz." It's all bullshit.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for putting this into words, in a way I never could. Let me say it again: you are AMAZING.
Posted by arts&letters on February 11, 2011 at 4:35 PM · Report this
Megan Seling 90
Thank you for posting, Lindy. Every fucking word is perfect.
Posted by Megan Seling on February 11, 2011 at 4:35 PM · Report this
mandaline 91
My roommate and I are the same size. She works out for an hour everyday (I walk to and from work...does that count?) and eats much healthier than I do.

When I swam for two hours almost everyday, I was only one size smaller than I am when I don't exercise at all.

Human variation, genes, etcetera. Small sample size, yes. But it's enough to remind me not to judge others' sizes.
Posted by mandaline on February 11, 2011 at 4:36 PM · Report this
michaelp 92
My daughter says things about weight that trouble me. She's 8, and worried about her outward appearance. She eats healthy food, and gets exercise, and I tell her that as long as she's healthy, that's what matters, not what her size is.

I'm going to have her read this tonight. Thank you, Lindy.
Posted by michaelp on February 11, 2011 at 4:37 PM · Report this
Andy_Squirrel 93
@64 and it's nobody's business what comes out of anyone elses mouth either, be it fat bashing or fat defending. We can put what we want in our mouths and we can also talk shit about fat people. remember 3rd grade a la "It's a free country!" ?
Posted by Andy_Squirrel on February 11, 2011 at 4:37 PM · Report this
gettingtoknowyoubetter 94
xoxoxoxoxooxxoxooxx to you lindy
Posted by gettingtoknowyoubetter http://gettingtoknowyoubetter.wordpress.com/ on February 11, 2011 at 4:39 PM · Report this
95
Wow! Can I just add that, though I love Dan's work, I've often felt that he had a big blind spot in this regard. And you really, really nailed him on it. Dan's such a strong voice for acceptance and understanding in so many areas, but I'd been feeling for a while that his hypocrisy on this matter might just "ruin" him for me.

None of us are perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect state of grace in terms of being accepting of all. We all seem to have an irrational "ewwwwww" or two in us. Maybe your post will help Dan get over his moralistic loathing of fat? I sure hope so.

And one more vote in the 'Lindy is Foxy' column, please?
Posted by Daily in LA on February 11, 2011 at 4:39 PM · Report this
monkey 96
Well said.
Posted by monkey on February 11, 2011 at 4:39 PM · Report this
starsandgarters 97
Lindy, I have not always liked your writing--I have often not liked your writing--but you won 100% of my support with this. This eloquently states why Dan, @2, society, et al, are full of fucking bullshit. This is exactly what I've wanted to say for a long time. Thank you.
Posted by starsandgarters on February 11, 2011 at 4:39 PM · Report this
gettingtoknowyoubetter 98
and one more thing: you're GORGEOUS!
Posted by gettingtoknowyoubetter http://gettingtoknowyoubetter.wordpress.com/ on February 11, 2011 at 4:40 PM · Report this
99
That's not so much a picture of your body, Ms. West, as it is of your dress. Where's the bikini shot?
Posted by catsnbanjos on February 11, 2011 at 4:40 PM · Report this
Eliza 100
Rock it, Lindy!
Posted by Eliza http://elizatruitt.wordpress.com/ on February 11, 2011 at 4:41 PM · Report this
marymc 101
Even though Dan Savage and the rest of the confirmed fatphobes will no doubt maintain their "My mind is made up, so don't confuse me with the facts!" position, I applaud you for saying what you've said here. Somebody needs to speak truth to ignorant, rock-headed power, even if it's covering its ears and chanting "LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-L-I-CAN'T-HEAR-YOU!!!!!"
Posted by marymc on February 11, 2011 at 4:41 PM · Report this
102
Halle-fuckin-lujah. Thank you, Lindy!!!
Posted by Anna in SF on February 11, 2011 at 4:41 PM · Report this
ferret 103
All I can say about the photo of Lindy, in my sexist non fat acceptance way, you are attractive, and would be much more so if you lost about 100lbs..

Do women have a more difficult time in losing weight than men? yes they do. However sticking to a program and not looking at crash diets and intense exercise are the answers as much as eating better, exercising regularly and looking not “dieting” but eating better, while keeping one’s caloric intake under 2000 calories will help.

I try to be fat acceptance, and I have battle my own weight problems in the past, but I found eat better, and daily exercise will shed the kilos. When the next post is about the hamburgers you are eating, there is a problem.

I think Lindy can lose the weight, and it should start now.

I am not trying to be mean. If I wanted to be mean, I would say to Lindy to continue with your status quo.
Posted by ferret http://https://twitter.com/#!/okojo on February 11, 2011 at 4:42 PM · Report this
104
If anyone wants to listen to a radio documentary about this kind of thing, you gotta check out, Thinness and Salvation:

http://www.thirdcoastfestival.org/librar…

It’s pretty clear that Americans are fixated on fat. But conversations about weight are often about much more than health; they’re about deeper personal, social, and political questions. In Thinness and Salvation independent producer Sarah Yahm interviews everyone from Christian dieters to California foodies to fat activists and tries to untangle what we talk about when we talk about fat.
Posted by DMElkins *registered* on February 11, 2011 at 4:43 PM · Report this
sugar2s 105
@93, you idiot: "It's a free country" means that the rest of us are also free to point out what a douchebag you are, and talk shit about YOU. "It's nobody's business what comes out of anyone elses [sic] mouth?!?!!?" It's a BLOG, and these are COMMENTS.Your ass is a hat, and you wear it proudly.
Posted by sugar2s on February 11, 2011 at 4:44 PM · Report this
106
Being excessively skinny or excessively overweight is bad for your health. No reasonable person should disagree with this (and so far as I can tell, Lindy isn't).

Dan stating that rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly isn't a fact. If he had instead said "many people find exposed rolls of flesh unsightly," it wouldn't be polite, but I would agree. That's neither here nor there really.

Losing weight is possible for any of us. It is far more difficult for some than others, but it is possible for anyone. I used to be overweight and managed to get thin. It was my choice and I'm glad that I made it, and I'm glad that I continue to make it. It requires sacrifice, working out 20 hours/week on top of a full time job eliminates the opportunity to do a lot of other things that I would enjoy. That probably sounds miserable to a lot of you and that is OK, it is my choice, and I enjoy it.

My point is that it is a choice, and it is a choice that each of us is free to make. If someone makes choices that lead to being overweight I fully endorse and support their right to do so, I simply ask that it be acknowledged as a choice. Take ownership of who you choose to be. Lindy, you choose to be the fantastic beautiful funny person that you are. I'm happy for you.
Posted by -J on February 11, 2011 at 4:44 PM · Report this
107
Great, you feel better. Can I have my civil rights and get married now?
Posted by jesus fuckin christ i had to pick a damn display name on February 11, 2011 at 4:44 PM · Report this
108
Only in America.
Posted by iamrobertjulius on February 11, 2011 at 4:44 PM · Report this
marymc 109
And another perspective to add to the mix:

Why I'm Fat-Positive
https://yrwelcome.wordpress.com/2011/02/…
Posted by marymc on February 11, 2011 at 4:45 PM · Report this
110
THANK YOU for saying what so many of us have said to our computer screen, but not to Dan (and others who think like him) directly. I love Dan--I truly do--but his sizest comments have upset me for quite some time. As a Seattlite and regular SLOG reader, I have often been tempted to drop by one of the Slog Happy Hours or partake in the various activities that Dan hosts around town. In almost every instance, however, I picture Dan greeting me with a smile and internally telling himself how disgusted he is to see "my rolls of fat." That alone, leads me to scratch Stranger outings off my list. Yes, I could just suck it up and go--but I respect Dan and applaud the work he's doing in terms of gay rights/sex education--and there is nothing worse than being judged by someone you look up to. So thanks Lindy, for speaking out and for clearly articulating what a number of us non-skinny SLOG readers have been thinking/feeling for years.
Posted by Tish on February 11, 2011 at 4:45 PM · Report this
Alicia 111
I am going to print this shit out and tape it right next to my mirror, is what I am going to do. Lindy, how did you get so awesome? Are you going to be teaching courses in this anytime soon? Because if so, I would like to get a leg up on studying for the entrance exam, which I'm assuming involves some kind of flaming-javelin target competition.
Posted by Alicia http://aliciaaho.com on February 11, 2011 at 4:47 PM · Report this
112
lindy - you are hot. in a number of ways...
Posted by ktp on February 11, 2011 at 4:49 PM · Report this
113
Lindy, this is awesome.

I'm one of those people with a thyroid condition (and one that isn't 100% helped by medication because my body as trouble absorbing the medication) who, despite eating well and exercising regularly (1-1.5 hours in the gym five days a week), will always be fat. At one point in time, I was so desperate that I was hardly eating anything but a tiny salad twice a day (I found out later that I was clinically undernourished), and not losing a pound.

Now, people don't see all that just looking at me. People see fat, and assume they have the right to judge my moral character, my intelligence, and my worthiness to breathe the same rarified air that they do.

Dan, I love you, but you have a blind spot in this one area. We all have them - mine is people who are motivated primarily by money. I judge them, their moral character, and their right to breathe the same rarified air as me. I admit it.

Admit your blind spot. I for one won't think any less of you as a person.
Posted by Sheryl on February 11, 2011 at 4:49 PM · Report this
114
I know lots of people who feel the same way not about being overweight, but about being obnoxious pricks. That's fine, but just as you have the right to eat or act the way you like, everybody else has the right to have whatever opinion of you they want.

Not that it should matter to you but you don't look near that heavy.
Posted by MikeB on February 11, 2011 at 4:49 PM · Report this
115
Thank you.
Posted by Soo on February 11, 2011 at 4:50 PM · Report this
116
I was fat. I was unhappy. A lot of this was prescribed to me by society, sure; I felt I was invisible to a lot of people. I was a thin child, a chubby adolescent, & at 19 was 200+ pounds. I, too, spent many nights wishing away my excess body weight. I tried silly diets or bogus workout regimens, without luck. I was sick. I moved to Seattle four years ago with romantic notions of starting over. So I did. I stopped drinking soda, eating whatever the hell I wanted (I love sugar & carbs, it's true.) I started taking the stairs. I didn't have a television or a car, so I walked everywhere--I had a whole new city to explore. I worked out five times a week, merely an hour out of a time. I pushed myself but I never killed myself at the gym. My workouts also included dancing poorly, hiking, playing in the park, swimming. I never starved myself. I learned the value of home-cooked, well-thought out meals. A year later, I had lost 60 pounds. I was fit, which is different than being just thin. I had more energy, felt better about myself, & saw my health improve dramatically. Since then, I've also been too thin. Going to school fulltime & working fulltime, I depleted my energy & didn't fit enough meals or workouts into my day, & I dwindled. This felt terrible. This is when I got the most compliments, of course. Let it be known: "You are so skinny" should not equate to "You are so pretty." My weight has fluctuated a little since I lost the bulk of the weight, depending on how well I treat my body. Weight shouldn't be an absolute indicator of health. But health & well-being is important. I'm glad I didn't accept my weight as was four years ago. I was filling my body with junk for no reason. Weight should never enslave anybody. Being too skinny or too heavy isn't healthy either way. There are a lot of terrible messages out there that confuse this message. You should never measure yourself solely by the number on the scale, but how it truly feels to be inside of that body.
More...
Posted by vamos on February 11, 2011 at 4:50 PM · Report this
117
@110: Yes! Same here! Slog Happy is one of those things that sounds like fun, but wouldn't dare do while packing extra pounds, for exactly the same reason.
Posted by Pickle on February 11, 2011 at 4:50 PM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 118
I do have to love how people think their own experiences are universal. I'm not obese or anything, but I do have to watch what I eat or I will blow up like a balloon. I have skinny friends who eat MUCH more than I do (of the same type of foods I eat), who are convinced that I must eat at lot more than they do.

@103 (and all the others with similar comments) - it's possible that Lindy does not care what you think.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on February 11, 2011 at 4:51 PM · Report this
Suz 119
Fabulous! Thank you Lindy!

I have a big ol' girl crush on Dan Savage but one thing I've never been able to get past his is fat-bashing, which he claims is not fat-bashing. I have never understood how such a smart, insightful man could not see how his writing about this harms people.

Congrats on being BRAVE and UNSTOPPABLE and writing the truth. You're my hero!
Posted by Suz on February 11, 2011 at 4:51 PM · Report this
120
Oh Lindy. we all know you're too good for the Stranger, but I'm gonna miss you when you go. This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.
Posted by novabird on February 11, 2011 at 4:52 PM · Report this
Eli Sanders 121
Right. Fucking. On.
Posted by Eli Sanders http://elisanders.net/ on February 11, 2011 at 4:52 PM · Report this
122
I've been "overweight" since I was 10 years old. When I was in the 5th grade my mother, who we later came to conclusion was projecting her own insecurities, began commenting on my inability to fit into the same size clothes as everyone else. By the time 6th grade rolled around, I was on a 1000 calorie diet. I want you to imagine that. A growing young girl, an obvious early developer (I was 4'' taller than any other girl), and a shy thing living in Southern California, denied proper nutrition out of guilt and shame over my body. For all the "health" b.s. you'd like to throw at me, I was on a swim team, played sports, and only had a sweet tooth (BECAUSE I WAS A CHILD).

After that I was crippled. My emotions, insecurities, health, and self image were a vile wreck. I could not walk into a shopping mall without breaking down into tears. Sobbing in the dressing room was a normal occurrence. I assumed all boys found me revolting, never finding out until later that 80% of it was self-projected. If I showed you a picture of myself at this time, you would wonder why. I was 13, but I looked like a curvaceous 16 year old. I was 5' 11'', size 8, and 38DD. Sure. I was abnormal for my age group, but I was normal for a fully developed human being. Which it turned out later, after I binged in secret from my mother out of rage and shame, after I learned the art of lying and deceit to steal money for extra food, that if my mother (who was at a very healthy weight and simply had insecurities) had simply removed a bit of chocolate to keep me balanced, I would have been absolutely normal by the time the rest of the girls caught up.

To this day, despite the extra poundage, I am in good shape. My blood work comes back fine, I got a breast reduction to ease lower back pains, I can climb any mountain or stairs without dying, and I'm much stronger than most people I know. I am 250 pounds. I am proud that I managed to pull myself back from years of depression and loathing to a point where I can at least function. (Malls can still be daunting)

I don't expect anyone to find me attractive, and am always surprised when someone does. My body image is still screwed up, but I'm working on it. Like Lindy said, it's mine and it's not fair to make me feel like scum because it's somehow revolting you. Look away and leave me alone. But if you're wondering why someone who is overweight gets really emotional when you trot them out as some kind of whipping stick, this is why. Sure, obesity is something many people can change, and sure, there are many health risks attributed to it, but pulling up one hated/feared/oppressed group of people to defend your own group is a shit tactic. "Well if they hate US, they should hate THEM". In a community of acceptance and understanding, the ideal is realizing every case is different. Every person's reasons, excuses, or genetics are subject to their physical makeup, experiences, and point of view. Many things affect us that are completely out of our control.

Let gays marry, be accepted and be free. Please leave the overweight folks out of it. It is a completely different and incredibly hurtful issue (I'm sure all my LGBT buddies can sympathize with that feeling).
More...
Posted by Quixotic Hoard on February 11, 2011 at 4:52 PM · Report this
HelpMeJebus 123
@37:

I think you're only partially right. Genetics has a lot to do with how much fat a person stores. For a person with that genetic predisposition to lose and maintain a thin person's weight is very hard to do. I did it once, and it took 6 hours of exercise a day along with a very strict diet.
Posted by HelpMeJebus on February 11, 2011 at 4:55 PM · Report this
124
At least you're not one of those fatties with small tits.
Posted by Bohica on February 11, 2011 at 4:56 PM · Report this
125
Lindy, you are awesome! Thanks for this!
Posted by Kevin Erickson on February 11, 2011 at 4:56 PM · Report this
126
That was lovely and refreshing. Thank you.

Posted by Michael Wells on February 11, 2011 at 4:57 PM · Report this
127
Fuckin hell! I think I gained weight looking at that shit. I suppose you can be comforted in knowing that you'd survive a fire...even if you didn't escape for like five hours. And you must save a bunch of money on winter clothes.
Posted by Just KIDDING! on February 11, 2011 at 4:59 PM · Report this
128
Considering that weight is the number 1 killer of Americans,as it has been linked to cancers, diabetes, heart disease, alzheimers and the list goes on! So yes, while carrying around that extra weight is YOUR choice, it impacts MY wallet as a result of the rising cost of health care. People that are overweight cause ENORMOUS amounts of local, state and federal tax dollars to go to them directly! You talk about only the Social Acceptance issues, how about the societal issues? How about contributing to the massive rise in healthcare costs? How about the BILLIONS of dollars that go to treat issues related to overweight people, that could go to Children's healthcare, fighting poverty, education, or transportation? Drop 25 pounds over the course of 1 year, by small steps and small lifestyle changes and you could help others!
Posted by Firemannotfirefighter on February 11, 2011 at 4:59 PM · Report this
129
you seriously rock! i am so glad to meet another woman who is not ashamed of her body. let's take over the world!
Posted by heatherinblack on February 11, 2011 at 4:59 PM · Report this
130
Being fat is perfectly acceptable. That said, celebrating your big fat body as a defining character trait is boring. People should be more interesting than that.
Posted by skeptical on February 11, 2011 at 5:00 PM · Report this
Simac 131
Lindy,

Thanks so much for writing this!
Posted by Simac on February 11, 2011 at 5:00 PM · Report this
Josh Bis 132
the very best.
Posted by Josh Bis http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Author.html?oid=3815563 on February 11, 2011 at 5:00 PM · Report this
Joe Szilagyi 133
As a long-time youth fat (through age 18ish) that got athletic lean (through 25ish) and then got extra-fat (through 35) and is still rather fat (as some of you that have met me can attest, Dom, Fnarf) who is working on getting back to lean and buff state and has seen how people look at you differently from both sides--even your friends--cheers, Lindy. I will say though, in slightly contrary tones to yours, that we should applaud who we are, but it's more important to applaud what we can be.

I'm circa 260-270ish I think now myself at functionally 6-foot tall. My goal is and remains at least what I was in my early 20s, wearing 34-36 pants versus 40s and wearing a L-XL t-shirt instead of a XXL. Cheer who really are all day, but we can't ever, never, ever let is be a crutch or excuse for what we can be. The minute we stop needing and wanting to grow we belong in the dirt.

Also: eat a goddamn burger whenever you need to. I still do, and am still losing weight along the way. In fact, I'm going to have a goddamn burger tonight at the Pike Bar & Grill.
Posted by Joe Szilagyi http://www.zombo.com on February 11, 2011 at 5:02 PM · Report this
blip 134
Anxiously awaiting Dan's "links or it didn't happen" post.
Posted by blip on February 11, 2011 at 5:03 PM · Report this
Eva Hopkins 135
@ 119, it's not that Dan writes about obesity. Obesity IS a national health crisis in this country. It's HOW he says what he says. The "eewww" factor. I presume he wouldn't say "ewwww" about how unfortunate bad acne is, or short people, or..pick one.

There are good messages in a lot of Dan's writing about obesity. I speed-read, & I must read like 20-some blog entries last night (gah). & he's gotten way better about, for example, guys who like bigger women, & how they deal with that, in his column. But generally that tone - ewwww - kills what nuggets of concern there may be.

It's someone's right to be repulsed by another person, sure. It's also that person's right to respond, as Lindy has here, fuck you.
Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.lunamusestudios.com on February 11, 2011 at 5:03 PM · Report this
skweetis 136
Thanks Lindy, I fought this battle on Slog for many years before giving up. People claim to care about people's health or health insurance rate, but the bottom line is that they just want to feel superior. They say, "Just stop drinking cokes" and you say "I stopped drinking cokes two years ago." They say, "Get off your fat ass and go to the gym" and you say "I went to the gym 7 days a week for a year." You say, "I'm a vegetarian. I haven't eaten at McDonalds in 20 years." They say, "Put down the fucking nachos you fat fuck and use the fucking stairs every once in a while." I tried every kind of rational argument I could think of to point out that fat people try to lose weight, and most of the time fail, but still they try and for their efforts they get nothing but ridicule - even from this posse of nerds, queers, and freaks. In the end, I realized they would only be satisfied if you throw your hands in the air and say, "Fine. I'm fat. I'm disgusting. It's entirely my own fault. I could be thin, but I choose not to because I love being horrible and disgusting and then playing the victim. I'm so sorry I ever stood up for myself over what is clearly a huge flaw in my very being." That's what they want. So, that's why I stopped arguing.

I sent Dan an email once, quoting one of the awful, hateful things someone said to me on the comment threads from one of his posts. His reply via email, "I was fat as a teenager, so I know it sucks when people are mean. We're moving to registered commenting." He never popped back on the thread to say, "Hey people! Quit being shitty!" It would have made a world of difference. Oh well.

Thanks again Lindy. Hopefully I won't have to resist jumping into the fat fight again on slog. We'll see.
Posted by skweetis on February 11, 2011 at 5:04 PM · Report this
137
Lindy, you're amazing. I love you, lady.
Posted by Linda on February 11, 2011 at 5:05 PM · Report this
Cienna Madrid 138
This is beautifully put. It made my day.
Posted by Cienna Madrid on February 11, 2011 at 5:05 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 139
Lindy, you are half right. Dan is also half right.

You are totally right about the whole shaming thing. It is useless, mean, and counterproductive.

But a serious discussion can be had about weight. The rate of obesity in this country has been steadily climbing for years. And obesity does increase the risk for diabetes, heart disease, and a host of cancers.

What I absolutely reject is the argument that heavy people "can't lose weight". That is bullshit rationalization. It is certainly true that some people have a much harder time losing weight and keeping it off than others, but anyone can lose weight.

It isn't complicated. It is third grade math. People don't become fat by magic.

If you consume more calories than you burn, you will gain weight. If you burn more calories than you consume, you will lose weight. There are some other side factors, but the above two sentences are 95% of the battle. The only hard part is that most of us have no idea how many calories we consume on a daily basis, and most of us have little understanding of our own metabolisms and how many calories we burn on any given day. And we don't care to find out. But I guarantee you that if you burn more calories than you consume, every day, you will lose weight and keep it off.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on February 11, 2011 at 5:05 PM · Report this
140
Your desire to be a martyr is duly noted.
Posted by Ben Weldon on February 11, 2011 at 5:05 PM · Report this
141
Thank you, Lindy. You're one of the funniest writers I've ever read, and the same intellect and insight that makes you funny serves you well in your more serious writing. It's an education to read your work. (Also, you're amazing on the FilmDrunk podcast.)
Posted by romeoboots on February 11, 2011 at 5:06 PM · Report this
142
I was standing near you at the Bottleneck a couple of weeks ago. I was playing pinball and I didn't know who you were-only your bad-ass writing. I overheard you tell a story where you mentioned your name. First thought: she is fatter than I imagined in my own little "this is what the people on NPR and people who write for the Stranger look like" world. Second thought: she is hot. Third thought: it must really suck to have Dan Savage as a boss with his fat-hate. I even told a couple people this little vingette. That was before all this.

It takes true guts to stand up to a hater who happens to be your boss. It takes true guts to tell how much you weigh. It takes guts to write as good as you do. You are a hot lady with a hot mind and you write like I wish I could. Thanks for writing this.
Posted by scooter82 on February 11, 2011 at 5:06 PM · Report this
Fistique 143
Chiming in to say I used to be fat (and unhealthy) and now I'm thin (and unhealthy), and that the process of losing weight involved a lot of terrible eating decisions, self-obsession, depression, and being incredibly judgmental and dickish to people around me. It's a feminist success story!

Fat-shaming is a lot like libertarianism, actually--you act like the people who aren't doing well by the standards of your ideology are suffering because they're immoral rather than because of the consequences of what you're imposing on them.
Posted by Fistique on February 11, 2011 at 5:06 PM · Report this
Jaymz 144
Hey, I would totally hit that....

And, attitude is everything.
Posted by Jaymz on February 11, 2011 at 5:07 PM · Report this
Eva Hopkins 145
(D'oh, 135 was @ 73, where the hell did I get 119?)

So it'd be okay to say - gay people - ewwww? No, it's only "okay" to say fat people, ewwww.
Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.lunamusestudios.com on February 11, 2011 at 5:07 PM · Report this
Joe Szilagyi 146
Also: if you do decide to <-- thataway in the size wars, do what the sane people do and gun for the 1-3 pounds a month routine. It's safer, smarter, and long-term more viable. I've did the crash-loss crap once when I was 18. I ran till I literally puked, and in a couple months lost a ton. Then I got it all back, and did it right, and spent 1-2 years losing 40-50 pounds. It stayed off a long while (only coming back when I began smoking again) and I never once even felt starved or unhappy. Anyone who says we need to LOSE IT NOW or any Jillian Michaels-type Biggest Loser bullshit is a lunatic. I'm on like 3-4 year 80+ pound road at the moment. Unless our doctor tells us we need drastic measures or we're in "trouble", slow down, enjoy life, eat the good food, and let it sort itself gradually and in the healthiest ways possible.
Posted by Joe Szilagyi http://www.zombo.com on February 11, 2011 at 5:08 PM · Report this
147
@134 Anxiously awaiting links.
Posted by Ben Weldon on February 11, 2011 at 5:09 PM · Report this
Scrabbleship 148
Lindy, you are a hot babe. I have always thought you were one funny, sexy bitch. I also have a particular fondness for Paul Constant, who has also written about his appearance in the pages of the Stranger. I call him my "Stranger Husband". I see you both on the street sometime and I feel....weird. Like seeing a celebrity but better. It makes me feel a little smarmy. Fuck smarmy, you're hot.
Posted by Scrabbleship on February 11, 2011 at 5:10 PM · Report this
149
Lindy,

Loving yourself is the best part about being alive. You don't need to change a thing if you don't want to. I have struggled with accepting myself and still don't. I have lost weight and gained it back, but a healthy state of mind might be the hardest thing to accomplish. Go get 'em!

Also, I think this trumps your "Sex in the City 2" review... by, like, a million times or something.
Posted by Aphonia http://aphoniarecordings.com on February 11, 2011 at 5:11 PM · Report this
150
"Dan stating that rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly isn't a fact. If he had instead said "many people find exposed rolls of flesh unsightly," it wouldn't be polite, but I would agree. That's neither here nor there really. "

Yeah, Dan (and you, I presume) would also find a person in a wheelchair, a Little Person, the elderly, etc UNSIGHTLY, but not dare write about it in a nationally syndicated column. . .but those things aren't a "choice" and therefore off-limits, amIright?
Posted by angies on February 11, 2011 at 5:13 PM · Report this
151
thank you for writing this. i've been trying to accept what i look like for a long time.
Posted by jayme on February 11, 2011 at 5:14 PM · Report this
152
Spokane @118: "I do have to love how people think their own experiences are universal."

No shit. Except I do more than marvel at it. It drives me batshit crazy.

For fuck's sake people learn to realize that there is a huge difference between individual experience and population level data.

Just because you lost xx pounds means jack shit to the overall pool. Trotting out your personal story may make you feel righteous, but makes me think think you don't know the first thing about basic epidemiology and aren't worth paying any attention to.
Posted by gnossos on February 11, 2011 at 5:14 PM · Report this
153
Ah, Lindy I love you.
Posted by danae on February 11, 2011 at 5:14 PM · Report this
154
You are so awesome, Lindy! Well said.
Posted by cherrytomato on February 11, 2011 at 5:14 PM · Report this
Joe Szilagyi 155
Also, "fat size" isn't indicative of shit beyond the taste of the people looking at you. I had a pretty extensive health review done in January, including a full heart scan, and other things, and despite smoking on and off my whole life and non-stop from late 2000 until January 2010, while carrying as much as 300 pounds at my peak weight, my heart was perfect and my resting heart rate was good, as was my cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure--everything. Aside from the extra raw poundage, I was fine. The numbers in fact were nearly unchanged from and a bit better from the last time they were done up circa 2007, when I was really fat and smoked like a chimney.

That fat person you see on the street may be in better shape than you are.
Posted by Joe Szilagyi http://www.zombo.com on February 11, 2011 at 5:15 PM · Report this
156
Oh, Lindy, you had me right up until the end, and then you ruined it by saying that the result of your acceptance of your fat body is that you're finally losing weight. So I guess the lesson here is that if fat people really started loving their bodies then the weight would magically start to fall off. I know that wasn't at all your intent, but there it is, right at the end, undermining your entire thesis that weight doesn't and shouldn't matter.

And Lindy, and I mean this kindly, I urge you get your blood sugar tested on a regular basis. You have much the same body shape as I do: busty, slender calves and ankles, excess weight carried above the hips, and when I was your age I weighed 170 lbs (at 5'5"). Ten years later I'm 220 with diabetes. If diabetes isn't in your genes you're not likely to develop it until much later in life no matter how much you weigh, but if you have a family history, then you will develop diabetes (or gestational diabetes when pregnant) sooner or later no matter what you do, but delaying the onset is the best thing you can do for yourself and weight does play a huge part in that.
Posted by ignatz ratzkywatzky on February 11, 2011 at 5:16 PM · Report this
Eva Hopkins 157
LINKS for @ 147: No problem. (sorry for the repost, folks who read this already in the "RE: Ban Fat Marriage comment thread.) -

Obesity is something Dan has discussed many times in a thoughtful way, such as this:

http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/obes

That's a simple truth: better foods - veggies vs. fast food - & working out = weight loss. 100% agree! & obesity is a big problem in the U.S. Where our fast-food eateries go overseas, obesity follows in their wake.

There's a buncha times where Dan's sense of aesthetics seems to outweigh the concern -

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Savag

This addresses both health issues & "aesthetics" (fat rolls are unsightly, Dan says):

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Savag

Now, do I think men or women should be wearing fashion crimes against nature? Of course not. But there's plenty of people who find the sight of two men holding hands, kissing, etc, gross or unsightly to look at. You'd tell 'em to look somewhere else, wouldn't you?

This is an interesting piece about how folks in the fat-acceptance movement don't wanna acknowledge eating disorders:

http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/10/big_

This one points out how f'd up it is that fat folks sometimes have problems getting good quality care from their doctor:

http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/toda

The comment thread on this post (to flabby arms? Sooo 'funny'!): http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/to_a

- contains what I think is the root of most folks's problem w/ the bitchy tone Dan employs when discussing fat people. Dan asks his readers, frequently, to support gay rights & causes (most folks reading Slog already do, I'd bet). But -

"Why should I care about gay bashing/hating if gay people like Dan Savage don't care about bashing/hating on fat people like me? I'm speaking hypothetically of course.
Posted by Kristin Bell | January 27, 2008 12:25 PM"

Is the below thoughtful or pointmaking?

http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archive

Thankfully I couldn't find that vacation photo of the couple standing in front of Dawn, just the back of them/their asses, in some Midwestern state. (Missouri?) That was way more ha-ha, fatties, than helpful for sure.

Folks who have read all of Dan's books point out that obesity runs in his family & he was chubbier as a teenager. This would explain a lot. I feel dan's heart is in the right place, but the desire to be funny/snarky turns out mean, obscuring any helpfulness to be had.

If you run "savage" + either obese, fat, fat ass or obesity on the Stranger search engine, you come up w/ an awful lot of hits. I found the mentions to be more balanced than I expected, but there was a lot of 'em, & some were very mean-spirited.
More...
Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.lunamusestudios.com on February 11, 2011 at 5:16 PM · Report this
158
Thanks LIndy - I am by no means a fat acceptance person. I would love to lose weight and have done so over the course of many years only to gain it back thanks to various factors (some of which I will admit have to do with being such an awesome goddamned cook). But I refuse to stop living my life because I'm a little overweight and someone else thinks I shoudl feel shame for that.

@29 - Lindy is not saying it's "OK to be morbidly obese." She spent the first paragraph talking about how she wants to lose weight. One of the points of this post (and a philosophy I've held onto dearly through my years of yoyos and various non-weight related sickness) is that we have to live in this moment NOW. So much of the female popular culture for fat women is based on some shit-ass "it Gets Better" philosophy that we need to sit on our asses at home, dress in muu-muus and subject ourselves to public shunning on the streets, just because we're fat. Fuck that. I want to live my life NOW. And if that means I want to get out have a run, go out and dance, sit down to eat a burger, well then I will. It's my right and my body. Public shaming does no good for anyone -neither the shame-ee or the shamed. it just keeps our minds trapped in a constant state of schadenfreude that somehow, someone is better than someone else. So don't think that just accepting where you are at this moment in your life, yet recognizing that you could lose some weight is thinking it "OK to be morbidly obese." are you that stupid that you can't understand nuance and have to break everything down as black and white?

Let's see the skinny people of the world have to justify to complete strangers what you eat every goddamn day, how much you exercise, blah, blah, blah and see how that feels? And why is it that people don't question whether skinny (or fat) people do recreational drugs, smoke, drink to excess or just had the bad luck of being born into a genetic history of Heart Disease/High Cholesterol/Diabetes/Arthritis, etc. when they make the health argument? It's a disconnect - just admit it, you don't like Fat. Big deal. That's your problem, not mine.

Oh, and @2, @9, @29 - you try taking large doses of Prednisone over the course of year and see how much YOU weigh. Sometimes, it really is NOT about eating Big Macs. What a tired, bullshit argument.

So ask yourself again, why do you have such vitriol for fat people? Oh, right - because you hate fat people! Can't stand 'em! Yuck! Just admit that and you'll be so much happier. Like me.

What Lindy said. FTW.
More...
Posted by b1anne on February 11, 2011 at 5:17 PM · Report this
Banna 159
Your body's fine.

I think you'd be prettier as a blonde though.

Posted by Banna http://www.ucp.org on February 11, 2011 at 5:17 PM · Report this
160
Let me reiterate. This is not about obesity being "okay" or not. It's not about comparing the two. It's about realizing they shouldn't be compared. It's about realizing that many people look up to a progressive sexuality hero, and sometimes he needs to own up to the shit he says. It's about letting go of these rigidly held dogmas that are perpetuated by a broken society and remembering that on the other end of your biting and hateful criticisms, is another human being. Who doesn't deserve that. Who doesn't deserve to be dragged out to be stoned because they are gay, fat, irritating, different skin color, sexually promiscuous, hooked on crack, mentally unhinged, or just plain stupid.
Posted by Quixotic Hoard on February 11, 2011 at 5:18 PM · Report this
David Schmader 161
Kaboom goes my brain at the wonderfulness. Thank you.
Posted by David Schmader on February 11, 2011 at 5:18 PM · Report this
Allyn 162
Gawd, Lindy, I love you. I would so ask you to marry me, if I were gay... and not already married.

I truly, truly adore and appreciate you.
Posted by Allyn on February 11, 2011 at 5:18 PM · Report this
163
I'm 5'5 and 135 pounds -- a healthy BMI -- but I often feel unhappy with my weight. We live in a society where we're made to feel like thinness is synonymous with hotness and hotness determines a woman's value. Even though I know it's bullshit, I often feel like if I weighed 125 instead of 135, I'd be that much hotter (better). So, you're right Lindy. Getting skinnier won't necessarily make you feel better. I'm technically thin and I still have plenty of "fat days".

Thanks for this post though.
Posted by Amanda on February 11, 2011 at 5:18 PM · Report this
Scalpel 164
I have to disagree with one small point in your post, for which I suspect I will get flamed quite a bit... First off, I fully support people eating or exercising or weighing however they'd like, and although I may or may not find overweight or obese people more or less attractive than HWP people, I respect their right to live their lives the way they want. Open criticism by others is rarely helpful, and often quite hurtful. However, what I can't accept as OK is the airplane dilemma (which is also the bus/theater dilemma).

If I've paid to fly somewhere, I've paid a certain ticket price for a certain level of discomfort I'm willing to endure. I'm not rich, so I choose not to pay for the luxurious seats in First Class. Instead, I've paid for my little perch in Coach, which is just about big enough to not go insane. However, if an obese person is sitting next to me, I am suppose to politely let them annex as much of my paid space as they feel they need, or else I'm being an asshole. That's not okay. If you're on a plane and someone in the seat next to you asked you if they could lay their legs over yours, or lay their head in your lap, you might understandably have a problem with that. The same logic applies if you ask me to deal with your excess fat pushing me up against the fuselage of the plane, or out into the aisle.

I sympathize, I really do. I'm clinically in the "obese" category right now, and although I carry it well, I can barely fit comfortably into a Coach seat. I don't have a perfect solution for what is going to be a growing problem for the airlines in the U.S. But I can't accept that I have to give up half my already minimal personal space so the person next to me can use up 1.5-2 seats for the same cost as I'm paying for what is now 1/2 a seat. I just don't see how that's fair, and I just don't see how that's okay to expect from others.
More...
Posted by Scalpel on February 11, 2011 at 5:19 PM · Report this
165
I don't think number two is even a real comment. I run every day for half an hour and have for a year now and believe me, when you start, you can't just break out running every day! It doesn't work like that! Besides, you are the exact type of person she is talking to in this article!

LIndy,

I"m sure you've already heard this a bazillion times but Your points are solid, you covered all grounds, you convinced me and your hilarious.

I do personally think that being overweight is unhealthy but key words being "I" "I THINK" and "PERSONALLY." THe point is, your life is none of my business!!! As my life is none of your business.

And to all those crude people who think it is okay to talk to or about someone overweight like that, we are not just softie hippies telling everyone to get along, YOU ARE CRUDE!!! YOU ARE CAUSING PEOPLE DAMAGE!! STOP IT NOW.

So to end my rant, Lindy, thanks. Keep writing please.
Posted by ShannonO on February 11, 2011 at 5:21 PM · Report this
icouldliveinhope 166
I'm also kind of curious, looking back on shit like this:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Savag…

How is "obesity" being defined here, health-risk wise? I'm 5'3" and around 180 -- so I was "obese" around 10 pounds ago, but I'm not 5'2", 450. This is what skews obesity data so fucking hard. Not that the 5'2", 450 pound lady hasn't necessarily tried to not be 450 pounds, although I wish she'd stop using tired shit like "womyn."

And yes, @152! Totally!
Posted by icouldliveinhope on February 11, 2011 at 5:21 PM · Report this
lucidslumber 167
I'm pretty sure Lindy isn't mad at people who don't find her attractive. I think it's about people that don't find her, and other "overweight" people, attractive, having a compulsive need to make the people they don't find attractive feel terrible about not being attractive to them. I don't find many so called attractive people attractive, should I attempt to make them feel bad for my objective view? .....and one more time, with feeling......ATTRACTIVE!

P.S. I'd hit that.
Posted by lucidslumber on February 11, 2011 at 5:21 PM · Report this
The Wretched Harmony 168
Woot!
Posted by The Wretched Harmony on February 11, 2011 at 5:23 PM · Report this
Eva Hopkins 169
Also @ 147. Another user posted this yesterday. Not all of it is Dan talking about fat people/obesity, but a bunch is. Some of it is folks's response to that.

http://www.bing.com/search?q=dan+savage+…

OK, I have logged entirely too much Slog time today. Off for sushi.
Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.lunamusestudios.com on February 11, 2011 at 5:23 PM · Report this
Mr_Friendly 170
Well done LW.
Posted by Mr_Friendly on February 11, 2011 at 5:26 PM · Report this
Dexter 171
Lindy, you are my hero. The wind beneath my fucking wings.
Posted by Dexter on February 11, 2011 at 5:27 PM · Report this
Jessica 172
Fuck the fuck yeah, Lindy. This is amazing.
Posted by Jessica on February 11, 2011 at 5:27 PM · Report this
Posted by scary tyler moore http://pushymcshove.blogspot.com/ on February 11, 2011 at 5:27 PM · Report this
174
Lindy West, Seattle's Only Writer!

I love you.
Posted by jadecichy on February 11, 2011 at 5:29 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 175
@117 you've obviously never been to a SLOG Happy.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 11, 2011 at 5:29 PM · Report this
176
FUCK YES. I love you girl.
Posted by Jesse Cline on February 11, 2011 at 5:31 PM · Report this
177
Love you Lindy!! You are cute, eloquent and awesome!
Posted by Eve31 on February 11, 2011 at 5:31 PM · Report this
Keister Button 178
I'm clinically in the "obese" category right now, and although I carry it well, I can barely fit comfortably into a Coach seat.

I am at 46 percentile for weight for women, 99 percentile for height for women, 28 percentile for weight for women at my age, and I can barely fit comfortably into a US-based airline's domestic shorthaul economy seat either. Most men and women in North America who have seen me would say I am slim. People who use airline seat dimensions to determine who is fat and who is not are ignorant and/or bonkers.

Posted by Keister Button on February 11, 2011 at 5:32 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 179
HUZZAH FOR LINDY WEST!!!
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 11, 2011 at 5:32 PM · Report this
180
@156 I do believe she meant the metaphorical weight being lifted off her mind and off her chest.
Posted by Mayor of Zzzz on February 11, 2011 at 5:33 PM · Report this
181
Lindy, I fucking love you. Keep on keepin' on.

love, a fellow awesome fat girl.
Posted by haunted leg on February 11, 2011 at 5:33 PM · Report this
MrBaker 182
Lindy,, you started off kicking Dan's ass, I kept reading, you kept kicking. Good work.

Lost in the comments along the way a few folks missed the point about "shame" being communicated and how it simply does not help, and can simply hurt.

At a very basic communications level it appears that Dan simply does not know the audience he is messaging his "shame" toward.
Posted by MrBaker http://manywordsforrain.blogspot.com/ on February 11, 2011 at 5:33 PM · Report this
183
This is amazing. You go lovely lady. May this be reprinted everywhere.
Posted by kyv on February 11, 2011 at 5:33 PM · Report this
184
Most of this blog entry could be filed under "growing up female" as far as I'm concerned.
Posted by standardheart on February 11, 2011 at 5:34 PM · Report this
185
Never knew what you looked like and didn't care. You are gorgeous. Move to Chicago and marry me?

Oh, nevermind. I'm only 5'5"... nobody likes short guys.
Posted by toxicpuddle on February 11, 2011 at 5:36 PM · Report this
ams_ 186
YAY LINDY!!! MY CAPS LOCK CANNOT DENY YOUR AWESOMENESS.

And ps. as a med person, I can tell you that I am pretty much in total agreement with you. And it makes me sad that saying to another woman that I am content with my weight, and don't have strategies (such as drinking cups of hot water) to "reduce cravings" was taken as a radical statement. I'm not even fat! The shame, it infects us all.
Posted by ams_ on February 11, 2011 at 5:37 PM · Report this
187
Love you, Lindy!! You are cute, eloquent, cute, and accurate as hell about how it feels!!
Posted by Eve31 on February 11, 2011 at 5:38 PM · Report this
188
I think I get your point. But just so we're clear, size is supposed to be everyone's own business right? As is food.

So if I, personally, want to lose weight, because I feel physically more comfortable and healthier smaller, I shouldn't be guilted for "buying into" the "framework". Fact: I feel happier and more comfortable 50 lbs lighter. I shouldn't have to justify that any more than you have to justify your weight.

And you may be tired of hearing about food, but food in this country is an major issue. We sell people cheap, crappy, unhealthy food in bulk. And I should be able to talk about that without anyone being catty about it. It is an actual health issue that we subsidize processed corn products in America.

Thinness CAN be a goal - it just shouldn't have to be. Basically what I'm saying here is that your own self-love has just a sprinkling of thin-girl hate in there (as does that link you provided at the beginning). Should probably work on that...because as you pointed out to Dan, no one wants to take your side when you've been hating on them.
Posted by cnh on February 11, 2011 at 5:38 PM · Report this
Scalpel 189
@178: So would you argue that I should happily cede as much of my seat to the person next to me as they wish to take? No one's arguing that the airline seats are small, but that doesn't then automatically make it okay to just take the seat of the person next to you. Two wrongs seldom make a right.
Posted by Scalpel on February 11, 2011 at 5:39 PM · Report this
190
Great job Lindy ! I hope this helps young girls reading this . Loved your statement that shame is oppression . You are a beautiful woman , inside and out :)
Posted by Lisa012 on February 11, 2011 at 5:40 PM · Report this
ams_ 191
pps. YOU ARE TALL!
Posted by ams_ on February 11, 2011 at 5:41 PM · Report this
192
btw I think people are confusing thinness, fatness, and healthiness in here.

Thin is not healthy, fat is not healthy. And I'm sorry, but 260lbs is not healthy. Maybe you shouldn't feel ashamed, but you certainly shouldn't feel happy about it. Get yourself down to a healthy weight and have a long enjoyable life.2 years of hating yourself is worth living an extra 10 years due to a healthy heart, but that's just me.

Wouldn't you like to write for another 10 years?
Posted by douchelord on February 11, 2011 at 5:43 PM · Report this
193
Yeah.

You notice how good shaming fags works, right?

Ended HIV overnight.

#2 Actually, you're STILL a fat asshole.
Posted by maxbell on February 11, 2011 at 5:45 PM · Report this
194
Lindy, you hit him so hard you knocked ME out. I feel lucky to be here among the first batch of numbnuts who get to read your work these days. Thanks.
Posted by gloomy gus on February 11, 2011 at 5:45 PM · Report this
lunasea 195
Thank you, Lindy. You are my new superhero.

As for Dan, you can fuck off.
Posted by lunasea on February 11, 2011 at 5:46 PM · Report this
Arsenic7 196
I encourage people to try and lose weight if they ask, but there's a big difference between encouragement and shame, Lindy, you are very correct. Shame is what bullies use to get their kicks.
Posted by Arsenic7 on February 11, 2011 at 5:46 PM · Report this
197
I don't understand the justification of being grossly overweight. When I buy a plane ticket, I do not want anyone's body encroaching on the seat for which I paid good money. I sort of care about your health, but I care more about the costs that are burying the health industry brought on by people who can avoid certain health issues, be it HIV (and I do think there is a HUGE difference between promiscuously fucking without condoms, than being infected by a supposedly monogamous partner, political correctness be damned), cigarette-related illnesses, or obesity. There is not a dichotomy between thin and fat, which is always the red herring fat pride people toss out. Find a healthy weight. Don't eat crap (the Dorito comment was really stupid if you want to look like someone with a glandular issue), dump the high fructose corn syrup and canola oil. Limit the bob bobs and booze. Fat people ALWAYS claim they don't eat much (I was married to one of those self-destructive assholes), but they do. They eat like pigs and often drink like sailors.

You clearly feel you have something to prove, and that is your right. But you come across as angry and bitter. Yes, you are fat. Yes, you CAN do something (other than bariatric surgery, the last resort of the lazy) about it, but you CHOOSE not to. Stop trying to justify your weakness by cussing out those of use who do not want to share our plane, train, or bus seat with you, and who do not want to subsidize your cardiac rehab when the inevitable occurs.
Posted by Long Shot on February 11, 2011 at 5:47 PM · Report this
198
@164 Yes, thank you. Exactly my opinion and finally someone stated it politely.
Posted by I'm crowded, roll over on February 11, 2011 at 5:50 PM · Report this
RatGirl 199
Lindy, you rule the school! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for writing this!
Posted by RatGirl on February 11, 2011 at 5:51 PM · Report this
200
I'm a vegetarian. I have been for 9 years. No meat, no seafood, a few eggs and a tiny bit of dairy (no ice cream). I grow most of my fruits and veggies in my own garden. I do not eat any processed foods. I walk every day (the dog demands 3 miles or else).

I'm also fat. 5'5" and 160lbs,

It's not fair. IT IS NOT FAIR that a skinny woman can eat a burger, a shake and fries and no one thinks anything of it. But, if I were to eat the same thing, they would look at me with disgust and tell me to put the burger down and get on a treadmill.
Posted by erysimum on February 11, 2011 at 5:52 PM · Report this
201
I'm a vegetarian. I have been for 9 years. No meat, no seafood, a few eggs and a tiny bit of dairy (no ice cream). I grow most of my fruits and veggies in my own garden. I do not eat any processed foods. I walk every day (the dog demands 3 miles or else).

I'm also fat. 5'5" and 160lbs,

It's not fair. IT IS NOT FAIR that a skinny woman can eat a burger, a shake and fries and no one thinks anything of it. But, if I were to eat the same thing, they would look at me with disgust and tell me to put the burger down and get on a treadmill.
Posted by erysimum on February 11, 2011 at 5:54 PM · Report this
202
Well done, Lindy. Thank you.
Posted by kerri harrop http://generalbonkers.com on February 11, 2011 at 5:54 PM · Report this
203
Lindy, you are phenomenal.
Posted by Fern on February 11, 2011 at 5:54 PM · Report this
no8do 204
I am commenting simply so this post can be more commented upon in the "Most Commented Posts" list, above Dan's.

Lindy, you are a delight. Once I had just enough time to stop at the Bottleneck Lounge to watch a bit of a World Cup game and you were there. You were sweet to me. Dan is a jerk.
Posted by no8do on February 11, 2011 at 5:55 PM · Report this
Arkham 205
Lindy, I love you and you are amazing. Thanks for writing this.
Posted by Arkham http://amaranta20.deviantart.com/gallery/ on February 11, 2011 at 5:55 PM · Report this
206
Two points of hypocrisy Ms. West:

1) You also find "rolls of exposed flesh unsightly". In the only photo of yourself that you decided to include with you story you are wearing as much clothing to cover up as much of your flesh as is possible without wearing a burka. Your picture is taken from an angle to hide as much of your rear and belly fat as possible and you are wearing a long curve destroying blouse. The only parts of your flesh you are showing are the parts that don't seem to be the areas where your fat accumulates. If you were proud of the fat parts of your body it would seem that you wouldn't spend so much time and effort covering them from my eyes.

2)A much smaller point. I think this was meant as a bit of a flourish when you wrote "But you're not helping. Shame doesn't work. Diets don't work. Shame is a tool of oppression, not change." Diets as a point of fact do work. Calorie restriction works as a way to both live longer and healthier. I don't think you meant this as a point of fact, but it's still a ridiculous thing to say.

A larger point is also to make sure you realize that having a body issue is an aspect of being human and not just being fat. Fitness models have obvious body issues, body builders have body issues because they don't believe they are big enough. People who are average have body issues because they are not big nor small enough. It's not that we are all equal in our body issues but reading your post I know I have thought everything you mentioned went through your mind and I've never been over 188lbs. (5'10")

I'm also curious if you think shame is a negative emotion to ever have. That in a good world we would never make either ourselves or those with whom we have influence ever feel shame. This seems absolutely horrifying to me. Shame is a powerful and absolutely necessary emotion. There are times when holding your head in your hands and mumbling "what the hell have I done" is the right emotion. Whether shame is an emotion that should be linked to being overweight will probably require more information and research into both how our brains and bodies work, but the emotion itself is necessary and worthwhile.

More...
Posted by RobH on February 11, 2011 at 5:57 PM · Report this
Mattini 207
This is a fabulous, brave post, and it's clearly struck a nerve. Bravo.
Posted by Mattini on February 11, 2011 at 5:57 PM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 208
I wouldn't call you fat, you're more "pleasently plump" or "chunky".

But Lindy dear, if you are haopy, I am happy.
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay http://www.danlangdon.com on February 11, 2011 at 6:00 PM · Report this
209
I hated Dan before it was cool.

Just sayin'
Posted by ian on February 11, 2011 at 6:03 PM · Report this
210
Shut Slog down. Post of the year. Print it!
Posted by brokn2pieces on February 11, 2011 at 6:05 PM · Report this
211
This was excellent.
Posted by Craig Brownson on February 11, 2011 at 6:08 PM · Report this
Love Smoked Salmon 212
Good for you Lindy... as long as you are healthy, happy and not harming anyone else then live how you want...
Posted by Love Smoked Salmon http://www.tonkaseafoods.com/ on February 11, 2011 at 6:08 PM · Report this
Roma 213
Dan: I am thoroughly annoyed at having my tame statements of fact—being heavy is a health risk; rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly—characterized as "hate speech."

I certainly don't see the "rolls of flesh" comment as "hate speech" but it's definitely in poor taste. A person doesn't have to find an obese person in revealing clothing (or no clothing at all) to be attractive, but they also don't need to state their personal feeling as if it's some objective fact.

139/Reverse Polarity, very well said. I think we live in a culture where few people are willing to own up to their choices. No one ever said that losing weight (or keeping from gaining weight) is easy. But that's an entirely different matter from saying, or implying, that it's impossible.

163/Amanda: We live in a society where we're made to feel like thinness is synonymous with hotness and hotness determines a woman's value. Even though I know it's bullshit, I often feel like if I weighed 125 instead of 135, I'd be that much hotter (better).

Do men like hot women? Sure. But women aren't any different. They like hot men. And for many women, how tall a man is determines how hot he is. I get so tired of the female double standard that thinks it's wrong for men to prefer woman who are slender but sees it as perfectly acceptable for women to prefer men who are tall.
Posted by Roma on February 11, 2011 at 6:09 PM · Report this
214
Nothing against any one person, but why the Hell is America one of the fattest nations then? It doesn't have anything to do with choice? It's all just "how God made us" and we should just accept it and not try to better ourselves? Come on. We are better than that.

We all need the ability to critically analyze and address our flaws. I applaud Lindy for realizing that she is, in fact, not flawed, but entirely healthy, and happy. I just wish more obese people would be so critical about their own health.

Posted by WIN THE FUTURE!!!! on February 11, 2011 at 6:09 PM · Report this
Free Lunch 215
You have quite the Velma thing going on. Me likee.
Posted by Free Lunch on February 11, 2011 at 6:11 PM · Report this
StellaLuna 216
Lindy West you are some kind of wonderful. Sing it girl.
Posted by StellaLuna on February 11, 2011 at 6:11 PM · Report this
pissy mcslogbot 217
@184: i think you are onto something there, inasmuch as it can be equally applied to anorexia as well...

yesh, i know this song and video may be somewhat (very) dated (but, check out the awesome sax solo ya'all),
INXS - Beautiful Girl --

still though, it does jerk a tear.... even upon my jaded soul.
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on February 11, 2011 at 6:11 PM · Report this
218
YES! Thank you Lindy.
Posted by rarelycomments on February 11, 2011 at 6:12 PM · Report this
219
I think that both Lindy and Dan have valid points -- Lindy is right in saying that talking in an off the cuff way that implies "fat = gross" is hurtful and inconsiderate, and Dan is undeniably correct in his observation of the scientific fact that the US is the fattest country in the world and there are many health problems that often pair with being fat. There's not one right person here. Some people are fat because they eat too much crappy food, some people are fat because they don't exercise, and some people are fat for neither of those reasons, but just because that's their body type. I'm skinny and always have been and I certainly don't do anything to earn it -- anyone that says the shape of your body is 100% up to you is making a broad generalization. I've known a couple of fat vegans that ride bikes everywhere -- losing weight just didn't happen for them. But fuck it, they were happy -- and healthy. And I've known people who lost a bunch of weight and kept it off. There's more than one kind of person and more than one experience and meaning of fatness.

It seems (not surprisingly) that the people who are most emotionally charged over this can't see that it's an issue which is not black and white, but has gray areas. Dan/Lindy, stop shouting and admit that this is not a simple issue that can be summed up into a soundbite, yeah?
Posted by Chris Pollina http://www.eldridgegravy.com on February 11, 2011 at 6:13 PM · Report this
220
163 Holy shit, have you seen the Old Spice ads? You cant tell me men aren't conditioned just as much as women these days.

And it's not just about being thin, it;s about being fit. and beautiful. with great hair. and teeth....You have to get over it. We ALL do.
Posted by hermyderm on February 11, 2011 at 6:13 PM · Report this
221
Lindy, I thank you from the bottom of my big fat heart!!!!!! I am a clothing designer and would like to dress you for free. Take a look at my stuff, let me know!! www.cupcakeandcuddlebunny.com/rachelkace…;.

Posted by rachel kacenjar on February 11, 2011 at 6:13 PM · Report this
222
Thanks, Lindy. Much appreciated.
Posted by Jen in Madison on February 11, 2011 at 6:14 PM · Report this
223
Being fat sucks, for a million reasons. It was easier for me to lose 100+ pounds than it was for me to expect society to change it's opinions, or for me to change mine.

I applaud your self-acceptance and rejection of society's cruelty.
Posted by Ex-Fat on February 11, 2011 at 6:17 PM · Report this
224
I am sick of the 'I am just fat. That is just the way I am!' argument. That is crap and everyone knows it. You can try and try and fail but you are not failing because your fat is different from every other person's on the planet. You are failing because you are failing. Failing to eat properly or work out with the intensity or way your body needs. Cardio does shit for me (and I hate it but I still do it) but focusing on weights helps fat slide off.

I am not a small girl in height (5'9") pants size (10) or stature (broad shoulders, big tits and hips) but I will never, ever lie to myself or the public about why I am voluptuous. I am voluptuous because I choose to be voluptuous. I was skinny for a while but it was SO BORING (and cold) and I craved all those amazing things I used to eat. So I let go of any kind of will I had and gained 25lbs and that was my choice.

If I had decided to stick with ignoring my sugar addiction (which it is) and stick with salads, veggie proteins and fruits I would have stayed thin. I didn't so I failed but since I had 'made' it to being skinny I realized I had not failed but had made the choice to eat the way I wanted/craved (and in a way that will toooootally give me diabetes). Now I work out, try to eat more veggies, cut out white breads (aside from the Dick's I eat like every other day) and whatever. Fuck it. I was thin and I failed at it. My body is inclined to sweets because of genetics and upbringing but I am not forced or 'made' to be fat by some magical bullshit. Instead of being a victim to outside influences I would be a victim of self-abuse and lack of preservation. That is bullshit.



Posted by funkathrusta on February 11, 2011 at 6:18 PM · Report this
Jenny 225
Lindy, you rock.
Posted by Jenny http://www.yardsalebloodbath.com on February 11, 2011 at 6:18 PM · Report this
226
Jeezis you are only 28? !!!??!
I'm 45 and I look younger than you. Of course, I've been a vegetarian since I was 15 and I have an active lifestyle.
Posted by I'm sexy and awesome on February 11, 2011 at 6:21 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 227
This was great. You're awesome, Lindy.
Posted by Matt from Denver on February 11, 2011 at 6:22 PM · Report this
228
I LOVE YOU LINDY WEST
Posted by hydra on February 11, 2011 at 6:25 PM · Report this
michaelp 229
Lili-p has spoken:

"She's really pretty."
Posted by michaelp on February 11, 2011 at 6:26 PM · Report this
230
Dan and everyone else can talk about how unsightly it is to look at fat people's fat - but the FACT is that there are many homophobes, homophobes Dan rails against that think having to look at gay people showing each other affection (or "acting gay") is unsightly and his opinion on that is for people to get over it. Well, Dan, get over your issues with fat people. Stop bashing fat people. I've said it before and I'll say it again SHAME IS NOT GOING TO BRING ABOUT CHANGE WITH REGARD TO THE OBESITY EPIDEMIC. And for everyone who says a fat person can just lose weight they are lazy, well what about all those crazy fucks who say that gay people can overcome their biological perversion and become straight? And what about all the gay people who turn around and get married in heterosexual relationships and have children? What about those people? Were they never gay because they obviously weren't "born that way"? Are former fat people more valuable people than current fat people? This conversation is so tired and so old and honestly it is just making me so sick of Dan Savage and anyone who is gay. Go fuck your fat hating selves. I don't care about you or the fact that you don't have the same rights as other people in this country (or world). Fat people don't either and you obviously don't give a shit about them!
Posted by xina on February 11, 2011 at 6:26 PM · Report this
231
Go Lindy! You are a total babe!
Posted by Max Power on February 11, 2011 at 6:28 PM · Report this
232
Lindy, I'm in awe. I wish I had created something, anything this week as awesome as your post..or this year truthfully. You're an inspiration. That is exactly the rant I have been trying to compose in mind for the last 20 years.

Ever since my "good" friend Stanzi sprung a weight loss intervention on me. She had a whole prepared speech about how being fat made my personal weakness visible to everyone and they thought I was a loser. Sat me down in her seedy apt that smelled like cat pee, inches away from her bong, chain-smoking cigs, and lectured me on self improvement.

Gonna find her dumb ass on the web and send her this post. Oh and Stanzi..all our friends that thought I was a fat loser also thought you were a crazy bitch.
Posted by TheOtherWoman on February 11, 2011 at 6:29 PM · Report this
TheMisanthrope 233
I love this post. I especially love how it calls Dan out on his "I don't really shame fat people" bullshit.

While he has a point about how being fat can be detrimental to health, he writes his shit in such an "Ugh Fat People" way. Which, to me, would be fine if he fucking copped to it and owned that shit.

Own your self. It makes you much more attractive.
Posted by TheMisanthrope on February 11, 2011 at 6:29 PM · Report this
234
You are beautiful inside and out.
Posted by Demonquarterhorse on February 11, 2011 at 6:36 PM · Report this
235
Also, being thin has its downsides too.
I have never been picked on for being fat, I had a couple of remarks about it flung at me in middle school but never had anyone say anything to me. This was all while my face was riddled with horrible acne.

N E WAY: When I was a size four my tits and hips and ass stuck around which apparently meant I was fair game to any guy with working eyeballs or any guy that sensed a thin chick with tits was near by. I have never in my life experienced the kind of bullying and harassment I was subjected to when I was "hot".
Female co-workers and my boyfriends 'friends' made remarks about my appearance (from my hair to the way I dressed to my acne to the way I walked) and every time I got something wrong or misspoke they jumped all over me. Male co-workers would stare at my tits, guys at bars would grab my ass or aggressively pursue me, guys walking down the street would shout lewd things at me or follow me for blocks.

I have never in my life felt as insecure, objectified and picked upon as when I was thin. Now that I am curvy again I am back to being basically a funny ghost that strangers enjoy when I make it known I am around. Which is nice.
Posted by funkathrusta on February 11, 2011 at 6:36 PM · Report this
care bear 236
I want to be like Lindy when I grow up.
Posted by care bear on February 11, 2011 at 6:37 PM · Report this
237
The post immediately above this on SLOG is about a hamburger you ate. With bacon and cheese.

lulz.
Posted by six five on February 11, 2011 at 6:37 PM · Report this
238
Show 'em, sister! Fat is beautiful!
Posted by Sergio on February 11, 2011 at 6:38 PM · Report this
239
the fact that so many people are calling that picture "beautiful" and "hot" validates everything I've ever said about the local talent pool
Posted by Reader1 on February 11, 2011 at 6:38 PM · Report this
McGee 240
Lindy,

You look good, lady.
Posted by McGee on February 11, 2011 at 6:40 PM · Report this
241
I am blessed with an easy metabolism. I'm 41 yo, 5'4" and 125 lbs. I eat chocolate every day and pretty much whatever else I want. I love food and wine. I *know* that I am lucky, because I have friends who have shitty metabolisms and therefore struggle with weight, count every calorie and work out constantly. I could never summon the discipline that they have about food and exercise. Having a metabolism that allows one to stay thin with relative ease is like being born white in America. If you don't realize that you've hit the genetic jackpot, you're blind. So, yeah, people who say it's all as simple as "calories in/calories out" sound like assholes to me.

Oh, and you're 10,000 kinds of awesome, Lindy.
Posted by Christy O on February 11, 2011 at 6:41 PM · Report this
242
Hi, this is Marilyn Wann. I've been a rad fatty since the mid-90s. I say: Wonderful, awesome rant, Lindy! I am so grateful to you because I have gone around and around and around the Dan Savage fat-hate mulberry bush—in person and by email and in print—more than enough times for one life and I am thoroughly delighted to see someone else enjoy a few righteous reels. And in such fabulous style. (Not that I expect any of us freedom-thinking free-range fatties will inspire Dan to diminish his deeply held prejudice.)

Here's one argument that works for me, even if I weren't a rad fatty who has a heartfelt stake in liberating ALL of our asses, fat and thin, from this stupid and needless and seriously unhealthy and unsexy worry about weight:

Even if weight-loss goals work for a very few, rare people for a while (or even for a long time)...there will still ALWAYS be fat people. Even before HFCS, there were fat people! Ever seen those prehistoric carvings? They're all of fat people. (Not pregnant, fat!) In the future...wait for it...there will still be fat people!!!

If you, Dan, or anyone else here, argues that people are not worthy of respect, health, love or lives until we lose weight and become thin, then you are by definition denying the satisfaction of necessary human desires to a significant portion of the people you meet.

What does that make YOU? As I've heard a fjillion times. It's all about choices.
Posted by Marilyn Wann on February 11, 2011 at 6:42 PM · Report this
243
Did the people making comments like "Sorry, but 260 pounds IS unhealthy" miss the "You're not my doctor, it's non of your goddamn business" portion of the article?

Also, can we please call out the "But women only like tall men, that's the same thing!" false equivalency bullshit? Short men don't walk around inundated with messages about how disgusting it is that they're short. Maybe because short people have longer lifespans than tall people. Because this whole debate is all about HEALTH, AMIRITE?!
Posted by crooked neighbor on February 11, 2011 at 6:45 PM · Report this
244
Hi, this is Marilyn Wann. I've been a rad fatty since the mid-90s. I say: Wonderful, awesome rant, Lindy! I am so grateful to you because I have gone around and around and around the Dan Savage fat-hate mulberry bush—in person and by email and in print—more than enough times for one life and I am thoroughly delighted to see someone else enjoy a few righteous reels. And in such fabulous style. (Not that I expect any of us freedom-thinking free-range fatties will inspire Dan to diminish his deeply held prejudice.)

Here's one argument that works for me, even if I weren't a rad fatty who has a heartfelt stake in liberating ALL of our asses, fat and thin, from this stupid and needless and seriously unhealthy and unsexy worry about weight:

Even if weight-loss goals work for a very few, rare people for a while (or even for a long time)...there will still ALWAYS be fat people. Even before HFCS, there were fat people! Ever seen those prehistoric carvings? They're all of fat people. (Not pregnant, fat!) In the future...wait for it...there will still be fat people!!!

If you, Dan, or anyone else here, argues that people are not worthy of respect, health, love or lives until we lose weight and become thin, then you are by definition denying the satisfaction of necessary human desires to a significant portion of the people you meet.

What does that make YOU? As I've heard a fjillion times. It's all about choices.
Posted by marilynwann on February 11, 2011 at 6:46 PM · Report this
Ness 245
Judging my all the Stranger writers who have left comments on this thing, I'm starting to think that Dan's fat shaming may be a bigger problem than we might realize.

I'll be looking forward to hearing his apology, if he can put his ego away enough to do it. Though, as much as I'm a fan of Dan's work, I feel as though he's just going to use this weekend as a chance to think of a seemingly well thought-out response that basically says "I'm right, you're wrong, AND YOU'RE STILL FAT."

Sigh.

But good on you, Lindy. Left lots of Facebook love to show my gratitude.
Posted by Ness http://www.collegecandy.com/author/nessfraser on February 11, 2011 at 6:47 PM · Report this
DeaconBlues 246
I'm a bit late so most everything I wanted to say has already been said, but I will add that Lindy's not kidding when she says men are attracted to that body. I'd fuck her like crazy. And then I would read her review of my dick, and laugh my ass off.
Posted by DeaconBlues http://radzillas.blogspot.com/ on February 11, 2011 at 6:48 PM · Report this
247
This is the first time in years that I've checked out anything on this site. Lindy, your words make it well worth coming to visit a place I consider the epitome of shit. You are beautiful and brilliant. Good for you.
Posted by SPMiskowski on February 11, 2011 at 6:49 PM · Report this
248
I stopped reading comments about 3/4 of the way down but up to that point no one had mentioned metabolic disorders which literally do not allow for weight loss without expensive medicinal control or the fact that being extremely thin is just as health risky as being extremely obese. No matter what side of the fence we each stand, I think the point should be 1.) good physical health and 2.) good mental health. Neither is guaranteed to ANYone.
Posted by Aryliah on February 11, 2011 at 6:49 PM · Report this
249
Lindy this is fucking amazing, thanks for writing it.
Posted by cephi on February 11, 2011 at 6:50 PM · Report this
Baconcat 250
Dan Savage starts an anti-bullying project, gets called out for bullying.

Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Posted by Baconcat on February 11, 2011 at 6:50 PM · Report this
brocaine 251
oh, @46, you read this post and thought it was about you and how you feel? Maybe you should read it again.
Posted by brocaine http://www.superporkteenexplosion.com on February 11, 2011 at 6:51 PM · Report this
252
That blog makes your ass look FIERCE!
Posted by homo.nym on February 11, 2011 at 6:52 PM · Report this
margitte 253
Dearest Lindy,
I don't know you, but I know that you are awesome. As a born-Seattleite (although living in San Diego now), I've always hated how anti-fat Dan Savage has been... and since I used to LOVE reading all of his stuff, it felt like an extra special slap in the face every time he said something fat-phobic. Anyway, glad to see you'll be doing some fat-pos blogging around these parts! And super stoked to see you link to Frances' tumblr! I *love* that girl.
Lots of internet love!
<3
Margitte
Posted by margitte http://riotsnotdiets.tumblr.com on February 11, 2011 at 6:52 PM · Report this
254
@ 213/Roma -- You're delusional if you think men are judged as harshly as women when it comes to physical appearances. I don't know what to say other than, "Look at the world around you". The pressure to be thin among women is unparalleled by anything expected of men in the looks department, including measuring up to some ideal height. Post the last headline you saw involving some male celebrity and his height.
Posted by Amanda on February 11, 2011 at 6:54 PM · Report this
255
Lindy West, I have always read your writing and thought you were one smart lady. Now I am head over heels in smiley joy - you rock. Rock Rock Rock. Thank you.
Posted by mariaglanz on February 11, 2011 at 6:57 PM · Report this
256
Not once did Lindy say being overweight is good; not once did she say losing weight is pointless -- the last line implies the opposite! -- and not once did she claim that people need to withhold their judgments about what is or is not good eating or good health.

But most naysayers acted like Lindy said or assumed just that. I have to believe it's because they didn't like what she actually said: being fat really isn't any of anyone else's business, because it's not a moral failure.

And if you're offended by the sight of fat people and feel free to say it them in person or on the internet, that actually IS a moral failure. All else being equal, the fattie you're shaming is a better person than you. Which, God willing, makes them a happier person than you.

(Lindy, I'm pretty thin -- so let's meet for drinks & drugs & sex someday before Dan makes inter-weight marriage illegal.) *GRATUITOUS*
Posted by Chubby Checker on February 11, 2011 at 6:57 PM · Report this
257
Very well said, Lindy! I'm glad to see it here.
Posted by ee on February 11, 2011 at 6:59 PM · Report this
258
There's something fucked up about the fact that I felt the need to log out of my regular commenter account to comment anonymously, because we can't have the men of Slog knowing I'm a... can I form the word?... yes, I'm a *fattie*. It would invalidate everything else I've ever written here, now wouldn't it? Anyway, Lindy, your post made me cry. Just a couple of hours ago a guy in the gym (where I was stretching after a run on the treadmill) was staring at me with blatant disgust, just staring and staring like I was a zoo animal or something. I thought, shit, when will I ever get to be a person? But I'm sure Dan Savage has never felt that way, because he was born out, skinny, proud, and accepted. Thank you for speaking the fuck up. If we were gay, and it were legal, I'd want nothing more than to marry you and have your fat, beautiful, brilliant baby.
Posted by Don't worry, scumbag, it's not for you. on February 11, 2011 at 7:00 PM · Report this
despicable me 259
Wow Lindy, I admire the courage it took to post this. I only wish I had your guts. Thank you and all my best to you.
Posted by despicable me on February 11, 2011 at 7:05 PM · Report this
260
You're not fat, you just have big tits.....
Posted by Asian1981 on February 11, 2011 at 7:06 PM · Report this
bibliogrrl 261
Thank you Lindy. This is amazing.
Posted by bibliogrrl on February 11, 2011 at 7:08 PM · Report this
AsherS-L 262
I know everybody loves you already, but I'm part of everybody too, and I'd like to just register my little reflection of the great light you shine onto the Earth.
Posted by AsherS-L http://hungeercluod.tumblr.com on February 11, 2011 at 7:08 PM · Report this
despicable me 263
Ix-nay on the "I wish I had your guts". What I really meant to say was "Guuurrrrrrlllll, you got BALLS!"
Posted by despicable me on February 11, 2011 at 7:09 PM · Report this
264
Ok, so we get the inevitable "You CAN be skinny, you just need to eat less, exercise more" comments we always see in these debates. It is essentially the same argument Conservatives and Libertarians use about poverty "You could be rich, you just need to work harder and save more".

Such an argument is great for people who need to reinforce their sense of superiority over those they berate, but you hardly need a degree in psychology to understand that it's certainly not going to make the intended target of the remark suddenly go "Oh wow, I totally didn't know all I needed to was , I'll totally do that now and everything will be fine". So please, let's stop the "I'm only trying to help" bullshit.

As for Dan. here's my take on it.

Dan belongs to group A.
Lots of people are squicked out by group A, in fact many people outright hate group a and go out of their way to make the lives of members of group A difficult through hurtful words, violence, legal oppression etc. Some people who persecute group A claim to do it out of a desire to help group A members because they can't possibly be healthy or happy and their lives would instantly be better if they stopped belonging to group A.

Dan finds this behavior reprehensible and calls out these bullies, oppressors andf haters every chance he gets while starting a project to help young members of group A deal with the negative emotions and self image. I thoroughly applaud his actions in this regard.

Dan is not a member of group B. Dan finds members of group B disgusting and feels they would be happier and healthier if they were no longer members of group B and will happily tell them so, in a manner that increases shame and damages self image.

See the disconnect?
More...
Posted by OnyxStSyr on February 11, 2011 at 7:11 PM · Report this
ScaryMara 265
Fuck Yeah, Lindy! You fucking ROCK! Thank you for writing this. I'm going to print it out and tape it to my mirror.

PS- I kinda want to be your intern. Next year, when I move to Seattle, I'm going to camp outside The Stranger office and build myself a fucking willow cabin if that is what it takes.
Posted by ScaryMara on February 11, 2011 at 7:11 PM · Report this
266
Andrew- wow, you've gone a whole 6 weeks of losing weight. Try maintaining that loss. Come back in a year (when most people have regained) and see what statement you can make.
Posted by bakergirl on February 11, 2011 at 7:13 PM · Report this
alithea 267
thank you for writing this! fuck all ignorant fatphobic jerks forever.

love,
alithea who is ALSO FAT (remember? http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/a… )
Posted by alithea on February 11, 2011 at 7:14 PM · Report this
tabletop_joe 268
LINDY WEST! It's none of my business what you look like. Or it wasn't until you posted a picture of yourself and gave me like 100 lady boners. But don't worry! They are respectful lady boners!

Thank you for being awesome! You don't have to be but you are anyway and I feel like I owe you for it.
Posted by tabletop_joe on February 11, 2011 at 7:14 PM · Report this
269
Dear Lindy, it's good to hear you love yourself and care more about your health and happiness than social approval. My hesitance to fully agree with you (and I say this as a short, heavy woman) is that being overweight is unhealthy, physically and mentally, and that encouraging "fat acceptance" could all too easily give people carrying unhealthy weight an easy out for laziness and surrender.

Extra weight is as bad for mental as for physical health (I know it has been for me). People SEE first and always will and all the encouragement in the world is not going to stop cruel comments. Overweight kids and teens are ridiculed and shamed and that's not going away.

Everyone should love their bodies...enough to see a doctor, get healthy and fun exercise, and care for those bodies so they can reach their best potential. (Much as I dislike running, I've shaved off 25 pounds and no longer wheeze when climbing stairs.) Love, just don't enable.
Posted by merryness on February 11, 2011 at 7:16 PM · Report this
Roma 270
214/Christy: So, yeah, people who say it's all as simple as "calories in/calories out" sound like assholes to me.

Simple doesn't mean easy. The way to get to the top of a mountain in the Cascades, for example, is pretty simple: you hike up a trail. But that doesn't mean it's easy. It takes a lot of effort.

For the most part, it really is as simple as calories taken in vs. calories burned. But it's also simplistic to say that losing weight is easy.
Posted by Roma on February 11, 2011 at 7:16 PM · Report this
271
This could easily end up being the most commented on Slog post ever. And if it hadn't gone up late on Friday, it'd be way higher than it is now.

I too am struck by the numbers of Stranger staffers chiming in with their support. Great that they have Lindy's back on this and are not leaving her out on a limb by herself.

Am really saddened by the folks who say they've never attended a Slog Happy because they're worried that Dan and/or others will see them as fatties (I've never attended either, thankfully not due to weight perception issues).
Posted by gnossos on February 11, 2011 at 7:17 PM · Report this
svensken 272
Greatest post ever!!!

I grew up on Dan's advice and his fat hatred has always seemed like a slap in the face. Especially in the gay world I live in and he projects.
Posted by svensken on February 11, 2011 at 7:18 PM · Report this
273
1. Sexuality is not a choice.

2. Height is not a choice.

3. Metabolic disorders that cause EXTREME weight gain are VERY rare, and are not a choice.

4. Mental health issues, big tits, small dicks, are not a choice.

5. I am not mean to fat people. Indeed, I have several beloved friends who are grossly obese. The odds are I will lose them too soon, and their end-game will not be pretty.

6. So now that Lindy has fallen in love with her body and is losing weight, anyone want to start a pool on either of these possibilities?
A. She starts eating like crazy because she HATES herself when she isn't obese, then falls in love with herself again, GAINS weight, ad nauseum.
B. She finds herself on a cross country flight, middle seat, sandwiched between two passengers with oozing rolls of flab encroaching on her precious space, and finds herself thinking, "Eeeeewwww!"

I am shocked that so many people think fat pride rocks, that being REALLY fat is just dandy, and that there are so many fat-fetishists out there. Wow...
Posted by Long Shot on February 11, 2011 at 7:26 PM · Report this
274
@ #2, #29, et cetera: My wife eats like a fucking ascetic, exercises regularly, and she doesn't lose weight. Her sister eats all manner of crap, drinks beer, doesn't exercise, and is skinny.

The 2000-calorie-a-day RDA is a myth. (More like a hopeless overgeneralization.) The range in which bodies maintain a basic stasis in weight is incredibly wide. Some people don't gain weight until they are eating 10,000 calories a day. Some people don't lose weight until their intake is restricted to 600. Yes, six hundred. That's less than they were feeding people in fucking Buchenwald. You want to tell somebody they need to be on the Buchenwald diet in order to satisfy your sense of aesthetics?

Fuck you. No, actually, don't fuck you. Fucking is for people who deserve something awesome.
Posted by avast2006 on February 11, 2011 at 7:27 PM · Report this
275
Love, love, love this post! If anyone can make Dan see the light, it's you! It's because of other fat bloggers like you that I know longer hate the way I look or give a shit about how other people see me. I'm fat. I exercise every day and eat healthy, so I am living proof that fat is not an indicator of health. Not that it even matters, like you say. No one has the right to decide how other people should look.

<3
Posted by fatinsf on February 11, 2011 at 7:34 PM · Report this
276
IF YOUR BRAIN IS NOT MADE OUT OF PEBBLES FROM THE BOTTOM OF A FISH TANK PLEASE READ THIS.

Since there's already 271 comments in this and counting I'm sure this comment will never be read. But as someone who was fat my entire adult life I want to post a response from a different point of view than Lindy's.

As I said I was fat my entire adult life until 2009. In 2008 I weighed over 300 lbs (I'm 6'1.) So keep that in mind as you read my response. These numbers have nothing to do with Lindy's by the way.

1) Fat is gross. People who are fat and lose weight end up looking better after they lose weight. This is a fact for most people. Maybe it's not a fact for you, that's fine. There's some people who think Kyra Sedgwick is hot too. People are free to be wrong. But rolls of flab are disgusting, and I would much rather sit next to a thin dude than a fat dude on a plane or a bus or anywhere that space is an issue.

2) Being fat comes from over-indulgence and laziness, which are not good qualities. It's not like being fat comes from giving too much to charity or from being too smart. It comes from eating too much bad food and sitting on your ass too much. It's a bad side effect of bad behavior, just like rotting teeth and bad breath from smoking.

3) Not all skinny people are healthy and not all fat people are about to keel over dead any second, but in general if you are currently fat, and you lose weight via exercise and better eating habits, you will be healthier in the end. Especially if you really change your life and keep up those good habits and don't just do some stupid ass fad diet.

4) Being fat is not at all comparable to being LGBT for all but a tiny, tiny minority of people who are overweight due to a rare medical condition. Almost everyone who is fat it's because they eat too much bad food and sit on their ass too much. It's not that it's who they are, it's what they choose to do. There's a big difference.

Here's the thing, fat people will generally continue to be fat until they sit down and really accept that their condition is a result of their own bad choices. Realize that it's something that they continue to do themselves day in and day out, in the absence of choosing to do something else. It takes a long time to fix, but it is "easily" (i.e. it's not brain surgery, it still takes a long time and a lot of effort) fixed if you sit down and recognize what you need to do differently every day for the rest of your life. Skip the ice cream sundae most days. Don't go for the second enchilada. Go for a walk instead of watching that Jersey Shore marathon. Etc.

In January 2009 I realized that I was sick of being miserable and out of shape and decided to change it. It took me a long time, a lot of work, and it wasn't smooth sailing all the way, but by October of 2010 I went from over 300 lbs down to 178 lbs and ran the Detroit Marathon. I'm not superman. I'm no smarter or stronger than anyone else. I just made a choice that I wasn't going to be that person anymore.

Do I still have compulsive eating problems? Yep, that's not going away. It's something I'm gonna have to be aware of the rest of my life and keep in check. It's not as bad as it used to be and I know things to do or not do.

But I also don't eat a salad or rice cakes for every meal. In fact while I was losing weight I ate an awful lot of fast food. I was just careful about my portions and what I ordered.

It's not rocket science. Weight loss is just eating fewer calories than you burn. The problem is we have a huge industry of fad diets and placebo pills that do nothing built up around the issue of weight. What people really need to be told is that there's no way to lose weight without feeling hungry. You're going to be hungry. You have to be hungry in order for your body to start burning the fat. That's the whole point of the fat, it's there for when you're hungry and don't eat food. Duh.

But being fat is a result of bad choices that are made every day. It's not something that happened to you when you were a child and now you are coping with it. You are doing it to yourself daily with the continued bad choices, and you can fix it by simply making different choices.

Now if somebody is happy being fat, that's great, they should continue living their lives and be happy. But I know I was one of those people who went around saying I didn't care, and I was fine and accepted myself. But in reality, I was miserable a lot of the time and I've been infinitely happier since I got healthy. I would encourage anyone who honestly feels the same to take that first step; go for a walk tomorrow, eat less tomorrow than you did today. Start thinking about eating better and getting rid of the snacks. You can do it.

I honestly don't think Lindy's message of "It's fine, who cares? Shut up." is helpful in any way. To me it's like the people who encourage bareback anal sex among anonymous partners. It's reckless and irresponsible. I'm not going to say people can't do it if that's what they want to do, but I don't think it's healthy or smart.
More...
Posted by Dave M on February 11, 2011 at 7:35 PM · Report this
277
But she's not fat, she just has humongous tits that haven't been defeated by gravity yet.
Posted by Asian1981 on February 11, 2011 at 7:36 PM · Report this
BlackSandpaper 278
I would kill to be able to write that this girl
Posted by BlackSandpaper on February 11, 2011 at 7:37 PM · Report this
279
Personally, I think you're f'ing gorgeous.
Posted by JosephInEverett on February 11, 2011 at 7:38 PM · Report this
280
Lindy, I'm bookmarking this and coming back to re-read it everytime the weight of the world's anti-fat douchebaggery gets too heavy.

Also, not that you need my validation, but you're gorgeous.
Posted by un_beknownst on February 11, 2011 at 7:38 PM · Report this
281
Right on!
Posted by Round_In_Wallingford on February 11, 2011 at 7:39 PM · Report this
282
To all the people saying, "I used to be fat, but I (exercised, dieted, etc.)" -- congratulations.
To all the people who are already thin and just KNOW that "it's a simple matter of calories" -- congratulations.
To all the people who tried to make this about healthcare premiums, America-bashing, etc. -- congratulations.

All of you missed the point. What is the point? To keep your generalizations, anecdotes, and suggestions to yourself.

By sharing "advice" when it's unsolicited, you're just being a jerk.
By claiming that you know how someone else's body works, you're just being a jerk.
By asserting that your "East coast mentality" gives you the right to tell others that they're ugly, you're just being a jerk.

Try being polite, instead. We are people, too.

(Bravo, Lindy.)
Posted by medeii on February 11, 2011 at 7:43 PM · Report this
Jubilation T. Cornball 283
Lindy, the most important point you made here -- and the one I'd help you defend to the death -- is about the needlessness, the hatefulness, of employing cruelty to addressing the issue of obesity. I've certainly been guilty of it, more or less as a way of acting out against it being inflicted against me. I wish you peace of mind and happiness.

And for all you hot gay guys giving the high five to the sassy, zaftig chick: I bet you'll all go out and bang a guy whose abs don't show tonight, won't you. I'm sitting here at the bar right now, waiting for you all to come up and hit on me...
Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball on February 11, 2011 at 7:43 PM · Report this
284
You're a fucking rockstar, Lindy West. I'm ashamed that it took somebody like you, somebody Seattle knows is a fucking rockstar, saying so to really drive it home that it isn't anybody's business what you weigh or what some random jerk on the street weighs or what I weigh, or why. I'm grateful you said it. It's so self-evidently obvious, though, that I'm kicking myself for not properly realizing it until somebody ELSE said it. Somebody like you, who is a fucking rockstar.How goddamn brainwashed ARE we, as women, to think that everybody we see has the right to judge us?

Sigh. Thank you lots, Ms. West. Time to start down the long hard road to Deprogrammedville.
Posted by king babongada on February 11, 2011 at 7:43 PM · Report this
285
I hate everything Lindy West has ever written, ever . . . except this article, which I love.

But seriously she should do us all a favor and stop writing film reviews.
Posted by props on February 11, 2011 at 7:44 PM · Report this
Roma 286
254/Amanda, I said that women are no different in that they like hot men just like men like hot women. By "no different", I didn't mean that men are judged 100% as harshly by women as women are by men on their physical appearance. I would agree that men care about women's looks more than vice-versa. But women do care about men's looks. A lot. A lot more than they let on. And a physical characteristic that matters a great deal to many women is how tall a man is. Furthermore, women judge men more harshly on other factors, such as the type of job a man has or how much money he makes or has, than men do with women so the particular things being judged by each sex differ but the amount of judging is probably about the same.

Posted by Roma on February 11, 2011 at 7:45 PM · Report this
287
#273 if sexuality isn't a choice (in some ways, not all, and i am someone who believes all people should just be able to be with and love whomever they please and everyone else should just mind their own business) please explain homosexuals who then get married in heterosexual relationships and some even have children. were they never gay? did they make a choice to deny their gayness? is sexuality not fluid and more complicated?

i also think that someone's weight is their personal business and should be something between themselves and if they choose, their health care providers. why people believe they have a right to constantly point out to fat people that being fat is unhealthy and shame them, taunt them, ostracize them, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum is beyond me!

gay people like dan savage believe they should have a right to live their lives as they are and without people dictating to them what's acceptable or right or even palatable. well guess what, fat people should have the same rights!

this ongoing BS with dan and his finding it OK to dictate to fat people how they should live just shines a big spotlight on what a hypocrite he is. there's plenty of people out there who hate him because he is gay and want him to live how THEY want him to live. he tells those people to go fuck themselves. well dan, some people would like you to go fuck yourself, too. you cant be an advocate for SOME people's rights while bashing other people. makes all of your so-called hard work worthless and meaningless because the message is tainted.

how about all the fat gay people in the world? what should we do to them? is it ok for bullies in school to bully those kids for being fat and shame them so that maybe they'll lose weight, but not to bully them because they are gay?
More...
Posted by xina on February 11, 2011 at 7:49 PM · Report this
288
nope, sorry. if you really want to be radically empowering, you would not accept the premise that fat people 'can't do anything about it'. this simply isn't true.

i actually have no problem with your size. i have had very good friends who are very large, and i have also worked with people (drag queens) whose entire livelihood (and fierceness!) is centered around their 'fatness'.

however, that doesn't mean that being fat is not a choice. if you were arguing about being short, tall, having big feet, or wide shoulders, i would agree with you 100%. however, the amount of flesh on our bones is something that we have TOTAL control over, so it's disingenuous for you to put 'fat discrimination' in the same category as other forms of oppression.

i happen to be very thin and have a very narrow frame. it would be very hard for me to put on enough weight to be considered 'fat'. however, if i really wanted to achieve it, i could. i would dramatically increase the amount of food that i eat everyday. i would start drinking soda with every meal. i would start eating between meals. i would start consuming much more processed food and stop buying fresh produce. i would always take the elevator and start taking cabs. i could put on substantial amounts of weight if i wanted to, even though it would be a struggle.

similarly, the overwhelming majority of overweight people could lose lots of weight by doing the inverse of the things that i listed above. (i won't argue that some people due to medication side effects or hormonal imbalances would have a much much harder time of it than a person without those issues.)

you (and many other 'fat acceptance' advocates) take a false stance by saying 'i've done X Y and Z and i still haven't lost weight, so that means it's impossible for me to lose weight at all'. bullshit. if what you've done hasn't worked, that doesn't mean that nothing else will. for instance, obesity is strictly NOT A PROBLEM in countries plagued with food shortages. obviously, i'm not suggesting it's a good thing that many people in the developing world don't have access to a stable food supply, but i AM suggesting that it disproves a lot of the fat acceptance rhetoric.

finally, your dismissal of the 'health insurance premium issue' is really infuriating. being overweight leads to HEALTH PROBLEMS, both small and large. you might not necessarily get diabetes and have high blood pressure or die at a younger age, but just by being overweight, you are at a higher risk for all three. society needs to deal with this issue in a way that is good for our collective and individual health as a nation. to me, the most sensible way to do this is to end subsidies for processed food and commodity farming, to fund small scale produce-centered farming, to mandate urban planning that insures the walkability of communities, and to promote the common sense approach to healthy living (eating real food in moderation and moving your body around keep you in good health) as opposed to promoting lobbyist-crafted miracle cures (fat free everything! exercise while you're laying down! pills to make you stop eating!) as the answer.

Keep this in mind-- it's fine for you to accept your body as is, but the rhetoric of the 'there's no such thing as overweight' movement might condemn the next generation to a lifetime of health problems due to generational obesity. An 8 year old with diabetes doesn't get to choose to embrace his fatness. What he does get is a lifetime of health complications foisted upon him by a culture with its head in the sand.

More...
Posted by bluedavid on February 11, 2011 at 7:51 PM · Report this
Baconcat 289
@276: Read the article. I don't need to insert the word "again" in there because, quite frankly, you haven't read it. Period.

Suggesting that this is a "hooray BBW I'm fabulous where my gays at" post proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you didn't even get beyond the first one or two sentences. She hasn't suggested "it's fine, who cares? shut up", she's saying "I'm quite aware of my body, fuck off".

As far as the LGBT commentary goes, it's ultimately not about comparing a physiological state with a fundamental state of being, it's about the actual reactions to that state. There is no reasonable argument in "you can lose weight, so my ire is justified", there is no reasonable argument to use your own aesthetic desires and "types" to shame someone. If you aren't attracted to someone, if you're grossed out, keep it to yourself or be prepared to be told to shut the fuck up.

So, in summation: If you're going to make a comment as long as the original post, you better fucking read it first.
Posted by Baconcat on February 11, 2011 at 7:52 PM · Report this
290
If she got tit reduction surgery she could get under 163lb probably.
Posted by Asian1981 on February 11, 2011 at 7:55 PM · Report this
291
nope, sorry. if you really want to be radically empowering, you would not accept the premise that fat people 'can't do anything about it'. this simply isn't true.

i actually have no problem with your size. i have had very good friends who are very large, and i have also worked with people (drag queens) whose entire livelihood (and fierceness!) is centered around their 'fatness'.

however, that doesn't mean that being fat is not a choice. if you were arguing about being short, tall, having big feet, or wide shoulders, i would agree with you 100%. however, the amount of flesh on our bones is something that we have TOTAL control over, so it's disingenuous for you to put 'fat discrimination' in the same category as other forms of oppression.

i happen to be very thin and have a very narrow frame. it would be very hard for me to put on enough weight to be considered 'fat'. however, if i really wanted to achieve it, i could. i would dramatically increase the amount of food that i eat everyday. i would start drinking soda with every meal. i would start eating between meals. i would start consuming much more processed food and stop buying fresh produce. i would always take the elevator and start taking cabs. i could put on substantial amounts of weight if i wanted to, even though it would be a struggle.

similarly, the overwhelming majority of overweight people could lose lots of weight by doing the inverse of the things that i listed above. (i won't argue that some people due to medication side effects or hormonal imbalances would have a much much harder time of it than a person without those issues.)

you (and many other 'fat acceptance' advocates) take a false stance by saying 'i've done X Y and Z and i still haven't lost weight, so that means it's impossible for me to lose weight at all'. bullshit. if what you've done hasn't worked, that doesn't mean that nothing else will. for instance, obesity is strictly NOT A PROBLEM in countries plagued with food shortages. obviously, i'm not suggesting it's a good thing that many people in the developing world don't have access to a stable food supply, but i AM suggesting that it disproves a lot of the fat acceptance rhetoric.

finally, your dismissal of the 'health insurance premium issue' is really infuriating. being overweight leads to HEALTH PROBLEMS, both small and large. you might not necessarily get diabetes and have high blood pressure or die at a younger age, but just by being overweight, you are at a higher risk for all three. society needs to deal with this issue in a way that is good for our collective and individual health as a nation. to me, the most sensible way to do this is to end subsidies for processed food and commodity farming, to fund small scale produce-centered farming, to mandate urban planning that insures the walkability of communities, and to promote the common sense approach to healthy living (eating real food in moderation and moving your body around keep you in good health) as opposed to promoting lobbyist-crafted miracle cures (fat free everything! exercise while you're laying down! pills to make you stop eating!) as the answer.

Keep this in mind-- it's fine for you to accept your body as is, but the rhetoric of the 'there's no such thing as overweight' movement might condemn the next generation to a lifetime of health problems due to generational obesity. An 8 year old with diabetes doesn't get to choose to embrace his fatness. What he does get is a lifetime of health complications foisted upon him by a culture with its head in the sand.

More...
Posted by bluedavid on February 11, 2011 at 7:56 PM · Report this
292
so so so good to hear it all said so well. thank you. this should be a public service announcement.
Posted by boops on February 11, 2011 at 7:57 PM · Report this
293
Lindy, I really want to have lunch - and a margarita - with you.
Posted by Kathy Ulrich on February 11, 2011 at 7:58 PM · Report this
catdavis0311 294
Thank you so much for posting this. I can't even eloquently describe in words what it means to me... Suffice to say when I was little I never thought anything was wrong with me- until people told me that I was fat and something to be ashamed about.

Thank you so much for the inspiration.

xxoo,
Cat
Posted by catdavis0311 http://catdavisdesigns.daportfolio.com/ on February 11, 2011 at 8:02 PM · Report this
catdavis0311 295
Thank you so much for posting this. I can't even eloquently describe in words what it means to me... Suffice to say when I was little I never thought anything was wrong with me- until people told me that I was fat and something to be ashamed about.

Thank you so much for the inspiration.

xxoo,
Cat
Posted by catdavis0311 http://catdavisdesigns.daportfolio.com/ on February 11, 2011 at 8:04 PM · Report this
296
one more thought--

(i know... i've already gone on too long...)

i think the whole exercise cult is basically an enormous racket underwritten by gyms and the weightloss industry. you know what happens when you exercise really hard? you get HUNGRY... you know what happens when you get hungry? you WANT TO EAT... you know what happens when you eat? you GAIN WEIGHT.

so the best way to strictly lose weight (i'm no talking about getting big muscles, improving cardio health or anything like that...) is to EAT LESS. dramatically increasing your exercise makes that less likely to happen, not more likely, and therefore contributes to the enormous hamster wheel experience that so many people are stuck in while trying to lose weight.

reducing your calorie intake while maintaining the same level of physical activity will allow you to see the direct relationship between what goes in your mouth and how your body looks. once you reach an equilibrium that makes you happy, increase or decrease the amount of exercise as you see fit, remembering that intense exercise will always require eating more and will thus necessitate a change in diet.
Posted by bluedavid on February 11, 2011 at 8:05 PM · Report this
Annag 297
More than your humor, is your candid ability to sum up years (a lifetime, if you will) of emotion into 3 minutes of reading. I love you, and am eternally grateful.

Love,
Anna.
Posted by Annag on February 11, 2011 at 8:05 PM · Report this
298
Yeah, come on all you "eat less, exercise more" losers.

Me: 5'3", 118-130 my whole life. Curvy but definitely slim.

At 35, tried to get pregnant, did IVF, gained 30 pounds in 3 months. It won't come off. I'm on thyroid and otherwise addressing the hormonal changes. I eat like an anorexic - tea and a protein shake in the morning, another shake, a couple crackers, or nothing for lunch, soup or skinless chicken for dinner. Minimal carbs, 3 liters of water a day, yadda yadda. Average daily calorie intake hovers around 1100. Yes, every day. Sure, I eat out once in a while. Doesn't much change my weekly calorie intake.

I walk 8-10 miles a day, I do P90X, do strength training and go to boot camp and ride a bike and otherwise log a 1500 calorie deficit every damn day. I know because I wear a little dingus on my arm that logs calorie burn. 1500 calorie deficit. Or MORE. EVERY DAY. FOR YEARS.

GUESS WHAT??? I'm STILL 30 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT.

OMG.

Am I fat? No. I'm a solid size 8. But I'm not the weight/appearance/size 6 I used to be, and I'm working out WAY MORE and eating WAY LESS than I ever did when I weighed what some of y'all would think of as ideal.

Basically my point is...you don't know why someone is fat. And it's none of your fucking business. STFU. GTFO. AND MYOFB.
Posted by Miss Grey on February 11, 2011 at 8:05 PM · Report this
299
I believe it was Kate Harding who pointed out that you cannot hate someone for their own good.

http://kateharding.net/faq/but-dont-you-…
Posted by pwnd on February 11, 2011 at 8:06 PM · Report this
Scorpio 300
Well said, Lindy! I love you! Plus your other writing is fucking hilarious. Did I mention I LOVE YOU?
Posted by Scorpio on February 11, 2011 at 8:06 PM · Report this
301
Gee! Mocking a person and assigning "lesser than" status based on a prominent characteristic? Where have we seen this before?

Faux "concern for your well-being/society's well-being/blahblahblahblah" = lifelong psychological warfare against people based on their weight, and how present-day society at large rationalizes it, from childhood bullying up to finding "bad examples" to unload one's anger on as we all get our asses kicked by life one at a time, some choosing to handle it how they're used to: By being BULLIES. Testify, Lindy.

A Bear's advice to an anti-fat homosexual: I am fat, and I am gay, and I'm no more likely to pray away the fat than I am the gay, nor should I be expected to. Accept me and my right to exist and/or get the fuck out of my way.
Posted by S. Collider on February 11, 2011 at 8:08 PM · Report this
Roma 302
264/OnyxStSyr: Ok, so we get the inevitable "You CAN be skinny, you just need to eat less, exercise more" comments we always see in these debates. It is essentially the same argument Conservatives and Libertarians use about poverty "You could be rich, you just need to work harder and save more".

How about if we use a different example? Financial planners -- no matter what their political persuasion -- see people all the time who are in debt because they spend more than they earn. One of the things a financial planner will do is to help create a budget (essentially a "financial diet") for them and encourage them to stick with it. If this is going to work, what does it require? Discipline. Tough choices. No more freewheeling use of the credit cards. Now, will sticking with a budget make them rich? Of course not. But it will help them reduce their debt. It's quite analogous to weight & calories. More money coming in than money going out means money saved. The reverse means increased debt. Pretty simple. But simple doesn't mean easy. Remaining on a budget -- especially a budget that doesn't allow for things you'd love to have or do -- is hard. Very hard.
Posted by Roma on February 11, 2011 at 8:08 PM · Report this
303
Amen to you....Why should we try to be people we aren't. I think it is funny that I used to only look at skinny girls and wish to be them, but lately I find myself turning my envy on the full figured women who don't hide their bodies, but show them off in really nice outfits that scream with personality. They walk around just as confident and sexy as the size zero girls and honestly they are more so. There is nothing ugly about big women. But being ashamed of being a big women is disgusting. We can still wear the pretty clothes they are just a little bigger
Posted by Laura Ann on February 11, 2011 at 8:08 PM · Report this
304
So awesome, Lindy. I've loved you for ages and you just keep getting more lovable. Keep it up.
Posted by redflowers on February 11, 2011 at 8:08 PM · Report this
305
@184...dead on. And Lindy? Thanks for speaking for every woman who ever grew up in America, whether fighting her weight because she was too heavy (me) or too thin. We can never be "just right," can we?
Posted by ddmama on February 11, 2011 at 8:11 PM · Report this
TVDinner 306
Lindy West, your courage is stunning. I fucking love you for you writing this. And I fucking love the Lindy container for carrying around that amazing fucking Lindy brain.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on February 11, 2011 at 8:14 PM · Report this
dirac 307
I am so glad that Lindy is calling out Dan's crypto-FATcism and hate--btw, Dan, we don't need to provide links when it's your fucking MO to resort to calling out fatties when you get bored. He is a hater, he knows it, but I don't think he has the lucidity or the empathy to admit to it. It's too easy to look away from your ugliness and live as a righteous fool with your pet cause as your looking glass.

We've had a lot of weight issue focus in slog nowadays, which is good. It IS a health issue. I am of the view that we have a sedentary culture and that it takes a lot of work, and yes, discipline to maintain health. I've been back and forth. I am actually thin and well-built but that doesn't mean I don't have to watch my tendencies and behavior to keep the pounds off AND that this is all dependent on my personal makeup.

Thank you Lindy for doing this and I hope this will help Dan, too.
Posted by dirac on February 11, 2011 at 8:17 PM · Report this
308
Thanks for saying this, Lindy.
Posted by midwaypete on February 11, 2011 at 8:23 PM · Report this
dangerousgift 309
Lindy West: I love you forever, I like you for always and as long as I'm living my favorite Stranger staff member you'll be. I will literally do anything to tell me to. Literally.

I wanted to say "FUCK YOU" to a whole bunch of people who said stupid obnoxious bullshit, but it so long to read through the DOZENS OF SUPPORT POSTS that I forgot who they were. People who post anything but love: EAT SHIT AND DIE.

LIN-DY WEST!!! LIN-DY WEST!!! LIN-DY WEST!!!
Posted by dangerousgift on February 11, 2011 at 8:23 PM · Report this
Scalpel 310
For those people who might want to try a simple "calories in/calories out" approach and see where it takes you, I'd recommend http://www.myfitnesspal.com/mobile, mainly because it's free and fairly straightforward to use. Rather than employing a fad diet, it just tracks your calories and tells you how many you need to eat daily to gain or lose weight. I've been using it for about 4 weeks, and have made slow but steady progress. It may not be right for everyone, but it seems like a good way to teach yourself portion control and how to moderate your eating to fit your body's needs.

If you do decide to give it a try, send me a private message with any questions, or check out their forums at their web site for all sorts of good, non-judgmental support from other users.

[Please insert all "you're going to gain it all back, you asshole" replies here]
Posted by Scalpel on February 11, 2011 at 8:25 PM · Report this
Renée Krulich (Nay) 311
I love you.
Posted by Renée Krulich (Nay) on February 11, 2011 at 8:25 PM · Report this
312
You rock, thank you. I've entangled myself in heated arguments with people I otherwise like very much, telling them to shut their face on fat-hate. I don't deal with fat prejucice personally, but I see the effects of a lifetime of weight-loss failure/struggles with my mom and I won't have *any* stupid-ass comments. You are so right and I applaud you for saying all these things, especially the bit about mental health.
Posted by hipgirls on February 11, 2011 at 8:32 PM · Report this
313
This was fucking rad. I have nothing to add except that I hate Dan Savage when he talks about women and fat people, so it was like a Christmas present to read this. And calling your boss out takes more guts than most people in this shy city have, so I am now your #1 fan.
Posted by virginia mason on February 11, 2011 at 8:32 PM · Report this
314
Andrew, you're an asshole, and a douchbag, and I hope you get skinny, and fit, and find someone to love you, for your fitness, and you can pretend that you were never fat, and you live in fear of ever gaining back a single pound.... Seriously, douch.
Posted by Bryn on February 11, 2011 at 8:34 PM · Report this
315
Thank you, thank you!
Posted by Maffy on February 11, 2011 at 8:35 PM · Report this
316
gee i love being thin.
Posted by skinnybitch on February 11, 2011 at 8:35 PM · Report this
Jason58A 317
I'm really fascinated by this issue. I've read every post and it seems to me that the crux of the conversation comes down to human agency. For every fat person who has commented in support of Lindy's bravery- for accepting and celebrating her fatness, a condition she deems out of her control- there are a slew of posters who claim to have lost vast amounts of weight. I'm naturally skinny so I honestly don't know.
Posted by Jason58A http://meatpicnic.com on February 11, 2011 at 8:37 PM · Report this
KingofQueenAnne 318
Don't be surprised that Princess Dan and other supposed "A-Gays" pass judgment on weight. Those ladies are blessed with decent genes and can't ever imagine that the rest of us actually have to work on our weight.
Posted by KingofQueenAnne http://blingeejesus.blogspot.com on February 11, 2011 at 8:42 PM · Report this
319
Wow, all the people commenting on her eating a burger, milkshake, fries etc... My entire family eats like this probably 3-4 times a week. My older sister and my mother are both skinny. My brother and I are fat. I eat LESS than them most of the time but still gain weight. I love swimming, walking, playing ACTIVELY with my dogs, dancing etc... But ya know what? I'm still fat. I enjoy eating Green Salads with barely any dressing, but yes, I do occasionally like to have a bit of "junk food" like pretty much everyone else in the world.

People talk about how it's affecting your health to be fat, and that's the only reason they would bother to say anything. But would you go up to some guy drinking beer in a bar and tell him he should stop...for his health? What about a "perfect" little blonde woman indulging in a large size popcorn at a movie, would you tell her that what she's doing is unhealthy, or even give her that dirty look about how much she is eating? Nope. It's just fat people usually. Somehow the world thinks it's okay to approach a total stranger who is fat and tell them that they'd be so pretty if they weren't so heavy or ask "Are you sure?" when they order something for dessert.

I am fat. I have tried everything, including prescription diet pills that cost $200 a month, to lose weight. Yes, they worked for the one month I took them because the rare times I was actually able to keep food down it ended up running out of me another way within an hour after eating it. I guess I could get The Surgery, but on top of it costing thousands of dollars, it also greatly endangers your life and makes it impossible to live normally.

Should I apologize to the world for not measuring up to their standards? I do charity work, I recycle, I rescue animals in need. I keep secrets well and don't gossip about people. I don't break laws or even speed while driving. I don't drink or do drugs. I'm not on welfare. So why is it that I am seen as the worst in society just because I cannot shop at "regular" stores?
More...
Posted by Sue Cherry on February 11, 2011 at 8:43 PM · Report this
320
@318 How do you know Dan is blessed with decent genes and doesn't have to work on his weight? Also, using "ladies" as an insult is misogynistic. Pretty hypocritical of you.
Posted by aaronfire on February 11, 2011 at 8:48 PM · Report this
321
Wow, all the people commenting on her eating a burger, milkshake, fries etc... My entire family eats like this probably 3-4 times a week. My older sister and my mother are both skinny. My brother and I are fat. I eat LESS than them most of the time but still gain weight. I love swimming, walking, playing ACTIVELY with my dogs, dancing etc... But ya know what? I'm still fat. I enjoy eating Green Salads with barely any dressing, but yes, I do occasionally like to have a bit of "junk food" like pretty much everyone else in the world.

People talk about how it's affecting your health to be fat, and that's the only reason they would bother to say anything. But would you go up to some guy drinking beer in a bar and tell him he should stop...for his health? What about a "perfect" little blonde woman indulging in a large size popcorn at a movie, would you tell her that what she's doing is unhealthy, or even give her that dirty look about how much she is eating? Nope. It's just fat people usually. Somehow the world thinks it's okay to approach a total stranger who is fat and tell them that they'd be so pretty if they weren't so heavy or ask "Are you sure?" when they order something for dessert.

I am fat. I have tried everything, including prescription diet pills that cost $200 a month, to lose weight. Yes, they worked for the one month I took them because the rare times I was actually able to keep food down it ended up running out of me another way within an hour after eating it. I guess I could get The Surgery, but on top of it costing thousands of dollars, it also greatly endangers your life and makes it impossible to live normally.

Should I apologize to the world for not measuring up to their standards? I do charity work, I recycle, I rescue animals in need. I keep secrets well and don't gossip about people. I don't break laws or even speed while driving. I don't drink or do drugs. I'm not on welfare. So why is it that I am seen as the worst in society just because I cannot shop at "regular" stores?
More...
Posted by Sue Cherry on February 11, 2011 at 8:48 PM · Report this
322
Thanks so much for this Lindy, you rawk! I wonder if you read the Jan 30 NY Times Week in Review. Frank Bruni, who's had his own battles with weight, wrote that our obsession with weight and fitness is all Jack LaLanne's fault!
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/30/weekin…

"What he left behind when he died last week, at the toned old age of 96, was not only a sweaty culture of relentless crunching and spinning but also the notion that fitness equals character, and that self-actualization begins with the self-discipline to get and stay in shape. In the post-LaLanne landscape, it’s not the eyes but the abdominals that are windows to the soul."
Posted by elaineinballard on February 11, 2011 at 8:49 PM · Report this
323
"Accept me and my right to exist and/or get the fuck out of my way."

Absolutely. As long as you accept that you DON'T have the right to be considered attractive, healthy, or unobtrusive.
Posted by Reader1 on February 11, 2011 at 8:52 PM · Report this
324
You rock! Dan is a closet republican.
Posted by Yeah!!!!!!!23 on February 11, 2011 at 8:56 PM · Report this
325
For anyone that has wanted to lose weight and had trouble with diets not working, please take a look at the Paleo diet, also known as the caveman diet. Although, this is truly a lifestyle, not a diet

Most diets fail because they fail to account for our evolutionary past. Some can still be effective, but will often entail much hunger and often people regain the weight they've lost after going off of them.

Eating as our ancestors did in paleolithic times (before the agricultural revolution brought grains, legumes, and dairy into our diet) works in sync with our bodies, rather than trying to force starvation upon them. Grains, legumes, and dairy have only been in our diets for less than 1% of human existence, and our bodies have not adequately adapted to these foods.

You wouldn't feed a tiger cereal, and you wouldn't feed a rabbit ground beef and expect them to have good health. You would feed these animals the things they eat in the wild, and likewise, you should eat the foods that your ancestors evolved eating.

I have nothing to gain from this, but I have seen in work in so many that I cannot help but share it.

The basics are:
Eat: quality meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, and little starch.
Do NOT Eat: Grains(esp. Wheat), added sugar, legumes(beans, peanuts, etc), refined vegetable oils, and dairy.

Please, try it for 30 days, if after that you don't like it, you haven't lost anything but avoiding certain foods for 30 days, not a big deal. It is not uncommon for people that are overweight to lose 15 or more lbs in this period, without much hunger, and with improved nutrient intake. Most people have dramatic improvements in health markers as well, such as blood lipids, c-reactive protein, fasting insulin levels, HbA1C levels, and nutrient status.

Here are some resources to help you get started:

http://robbwolf.com/book-resources/
More...
Posted by CrossFit Junkie on February 11, 2011 at 9:01 PM · Report this
internet_jen 326
I am female 5'8" and prolly weigh less than my housemate female 5'4". She's got the back yard of a black person and knockers even the balance. I've got boney ass that'll give you bruses and an A-cup. I also think she is stronger than me.

In all respects her diet is way healthier than mine in regards to portion size, junk:real-food ratio & alcohol intake (she can't stand beer and I love it). We prolly get similar amounts of exercize.
Posted by internet_jen on February 11, 2011 at 9:03 PM · Report this
internet_jen 327
I am female 5'8" and prolly weigh less than my housemate female 5'4". She's got the back yard of a black person and knockers even the balance. I've got boney ass that'll give you bruises and an A-cup. I also think she is stronger than me. [the differences go on and on, totally different gene pools]

In all respects her diet is way healthier than mine in regards to portion size, junk:real-food ratio & alcohol intake (she can't stand beer and I love it). We prolly get similar amounts of exercize. Neither into sports or reg-exercise but both are non-drivers/non-cycleists.
Posted by internet_jen on February 11, 2011 at 9:03 PM · Report this
328
You say fat, I say voluptuous.
Posted by Lindy's big knockers on February 11, 2011 at 9:07 PM · Report this
329
#57: Fat used to be sexy and a sign of wealth. Go to museum sometime and get a load of Renoir and the sexy bulges and curves that were the subject of artists.
Posted by fotoeve on February 11, 2011 at 9:09 PM · Report this
scary tyler moore 330
i think the two of you cooked this up to get page hits.
Posted by scary tyler moore http://pushymcshove.blogspot.com/ on February 11, 2011 at 9:12 PM · Report this
331
Fertility goddess are very zaftig. Google "Fertility goddess" images and you'll get an eyeful.
Posted by fotoeve on February 11, 2011 at 9:13 PM · Report this
332
Girl... you're beautiful. I hate that being healthy is all about a number... My husband is TECHNICALLY a healthy BMI... but he eats like a stereotypical fat person; bacon double cheeseburgers, fried foods, sugary things, etc. And he used to be a couch potato (he's in the Air Force now so unwillingly he's done more physical activities).

Now I'm technically very obese by my BMI... but my diet is MUCH healthier and I'd exercise 2 hours a night. I've struggled with my weight all my life. I'm sure if we had our cholesterol and blood pressure checked I'd win that... so people shouldn't judge us just how we look.

By the way, I'm 5'6" and 260lbs currently. And this is me: http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-a… So fuck you society, I love my body too.
Posted by Stephanie G on February 11, 2011 at 9:13 PM · Report this
333
Who cares?
Posted by No really. on February 11, 2011 at 9:16 PM · Report this
334
You are gorgeous. You are hilarious. You are witty. You are insightful. You are in possession of a ROCKING set of gams.

If someone else sees something wrong with your body, they are WRONG. So there. If they can treat their opinions (fat = unsightly) as fact, I can treat my opinion as fact.

And my opinion is that you are AWESOME AND HOT, so it is now a FACT that you are AWESOME AND HOT.
Posted by Nikko on February 11, 2011 at 9:18 PM · Report this
335
brava Lindy...there certainly are some misinformed people out there! it's interesting to me that the most negative you-didn't-try-hard-enough bullshit came mostly from what i guess to be males.... hello? women's bodies ARE DIFFERENT!!!! it's why we are equipped to have children and men are not! Duh! to say nothing of the experimental medicine practiced on women....i am 61; i am a "DES daughter;" i have had multiples cancers, surgeries and no parts left to remove...it also caused some serious heart damage for which i am forever on medications which affect my metabolism....if you don't know what DES is or what it did to millions of daughters - google it! thanks to paternalistic doctors and flawed research i have weight problems which - read my lips - i CANNOT do anything about beyond a certain level...my metabolism is in constant turmoil, hormones are and always have been totally messed up - i'm fuckin' lucky i even have one daughter let alone two (besides the five miscarriages i had in-between)....if any of you who have such a judgemental you're-just-a-loser attitude, perhaps you should extract your feet from your mouths and apologize for you ignorance if nothing else! And seriously rethink your "read-fire-aim" policy.... if being civil and polite is too "expensive" morally and emotionally you are the ones with a serious "weight" problem with your egos.
Posted by RedRoanGirl on February 11, 2011 at 9:19 PM · Report this
Larry Mizell, Jr. 336
pretty hot and tempting. lindy rules
Posted by Larry Mizell, Jr. on February 11, 2011 at 9:19 PM · Report this
Kapow 337
Lindy? Why did I always think Lindy was a guy? I guess I knew a guy named Lindy and then I think Lindy was doing a live slog of the WC game and I thought maybe Lindy was just gay or something. I honestly thought for a long time that Lindy was a dude who slept with lots of hot chicks and was mainly wearing a lot of black with a black hat. My bad. You seem cool either way. I'm just saying, sometimes, we the viewing public don't always know one way or the other. Without pics. I think I used to ride on Sarah Palin's short bus. So feel free to disregard this post.
Posted by Kapow on February 11, 2011 at 9:20 PM · Report this
338
It's great when any person can love and accept themselves the way they are, faults and all.
Posted by LizzieVeg on February 11, 2011 at 9:21 PM · Report this
Cynic Romantic 339
I love you Lindy West.

And the haters can suck it,
Posted by Cynic Romantic on February 11, 2011 at 9:29 PM · Report this
340
Brava, Lindy, most especially for standing up to Dan for what amounts to cheap pot shots. I especially appreciate the points you made about how shame doesn't actually change anyone's body shape. In my experience, too, it perpetuates weight. I've lost weight at times when I felt loved and fulfilled FIRST. Btw, I think your body looks curvaceous and all earth goddessy! Maybe when the earth is cherished and respected again, images of fertility and abundance will be revered. Until then, at least there's this handy litmus test for screening out people who are out of touch with the things that (I think) really matter: people who say ignorant, meatheaded things about weight and weight loss and those with the sense to shut their traps.
Posted by KidandDogMom on February 11, 2011 at 9:30 PM · Report this
Frankie23 341
Seriously, some of you people sound like radical vegans, with their, "Oh, you're just not doing it *right* mentality". I especially love #291's "I happen to be very thin... It would be very hard for me to put on enough weight", yet I still know better than you who've lived with it attitude. Seriously people, everyone is different. I'm 6'3", and I average around 200 punds. If I eat like crap for a while, maybe I gain 10 pounds. If I eat super-healthy, I maybe drop down to 195. I don't exercise, I work at a desk. By your logic I should be a 350 pound diabetic.

Not even that anyone's going to read this, but it's at least one more comment to get it to the top of the stack. Lindy, yr beautiful inside and out. Nice to see you stand up for yourself so vociferously; you've given a voice to many who cannot.
Posted by Frankie23 http://frankie23.com on February 11, 2011 at 9:31 PM · Report this
joey veltkamp 342
Yea Lindy! I've frequently wondered if when anti-fat posts go up on Slog, do you just want to yell, "Uh hello, I'm right here! You do know I read this right??!" I guess now I know the answer. Thanks for saying something. xo
Posted by joey veltkamp http://joeyveltkamp.com on February 11, 2011 at 9:36 PM · Report this
NumberOne 343
@ 29 FTW, the rest was tl; dr.
Posted by NumberOne on February 11, 2011 at 9:37 PM · Report this
Sudden Nut 344
Sorry Dan, Lindy's hot.
Posted by Sudden Nut on February 11, 2011 at 9:39 PM · Report this
345
LOVE!!! This is just perfect for me. I think many, many people missed the point. They should go back to 6th grade and work on their reading comprehension. :)

You Rock!
Posted by goodlordyousuck on February 11, 2011 at 9:40 PM · Report this
346
i don't even know you, and i love you, lindy. thank you for saying this in the way you said it. i am an instructor at a university and i spoke with students today about size oppression in our society, "ideal" body types and the like-- surprisingly, they completely got it. not necessarily all the implications of course, but they know something is wrong. and now i know more about it and what link to direct them to for next class. <3 with the void, full powers.
Posted by GQisthenewblack on February 11, 2011 at 9:40 PM · Report this
347
Holy shit, who knew Lindy was hot?
Posted by supergp on February 11, 2011 at 9:40 PM · Report this
kim in portland 348
I'm going to respectfully disagree, KingofQueenAnne @ 318.

I think that Savage works his ass off. I don't think it is blessed genes at all. Perhaps, he is driven not to share some of the health concerns that other members of his family have, like I am? I don't know, but he comments enough about the gym and his diet to suggest that it isn't great genes. Not to mention that he has written about being over weight as a pre-teen/teen. I'm prone to think that he strictly controls what goes into his mouth and exercises as way of paying the piper; to avoid looking a way he may feel he is destined to become without strict effort. Maybe, that is where he is coming from? Anecdotal experience and discipline. I think it is common for humans to apply their experience to others, and to hold up their efforts as evidence that everyone can achieve the same. It may be possible that his love for others combined with his personal efforts at his physical appearance have blinded him to the idea that his words are hurtful to some? And they may have blocked him from realizing the depth of hurt, and to the realization that he doesn't walk in the shoes of others? Just my $0.O2, though, feel free to toss it into the dustbin.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on February 11, 2011 at 9:42 PM · Report this
flippingthroughrecords 349
Lindy West you are my hero! Thank you for a brilliant and beautiful post.
Posted by flippingthroughrecords on February 11, 2011 at 9:43 PM · Report this
350
it is really mind boggling how many people believe they have a RIGHT to make comments about or otherwise insist that fat people lose weight. why is it that people think that it is OK for them to do that? who the fuck are you?

people have a right to live their lives as they please you are not in charge of other people's bodies! mind your own fucking business and micromanage your own lives! why do you care so much? why do you hate fat people so much? what are you so afraid of?

seriously - i doubt anyone who has insisted that fat people are fat fucking lazy ugly people and all they have to do is this this and this to make everyone else happy lives their lives in 100% perfectly acceptable ways to other people. yet they would never accept anyone else's commentary about their lives the way they feel perfectly comfortable dictating how fat people need to live their lives.

how many people on this comment board smoke cigarettes? drink alcohol? do drugs? drive after drinking alcohol or doing drugs? have unprotected sex? have pre-marital sex? have homosexual sex? have polyamorous sex? are in debt that they can't possibly dig themselves out of? live lives that are lies- pretending to be something they are not? cheat on their spouses? hit their children? rob their employers of productive work hours by calling in sick when they aren't or checking their email or facebook or ebay while at work? lie to people? steal? are racist? are sexist? etc. etc. etc. etc.

none of you want anyone telling you how to live your life. you want people to live you alone and let you live your life. well guess what fat people deserve the same thing. get over yourselves. mind your own fucking business and keep your fat hatred to yourself!
Posted by xina on February 11, 2011 at 9:45 PM · Report this
351
I fucking love you, Lindy West.
Posted by seattleeco on February 11, 2011 at 9:45 PM · Report this
352
I used to be overweight and I smoked cigarettes. I had a very similar outlook on my habits as you presently do. I saw myself as a victim of two unchangeable conditions. I was addicted to food and cigarettes. The victim mentality is what allows you to project your frustrations outward. I don't feel sorry for you. I changed my life and am in the best shape I've ever been in. Anyone can do it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and justifying your poor choices. Pick up a piece of fruit, hit the gym, and stop shaking your finger at those of us who had the courage to make a choice contrary to the one you are presently making.
Posted by InventedtheMop on February 11, 2011 at 9:49 PM · Report this
353
Lindy, you are awesome...and sexy!
Posted by ladymeshel on February 11, 2011 at 9:49 PM · Report this
354
Andrew-And it's people like you that she is FUCKING TALKING ABOUT. JUDGEMENTAL assholes who have nothing better to do that sit around and degrade people. You make me sick.
Oh and you know what tastes even better than doughnuts AND "not being fat"? HAVING SELF RESPECT, MORALS, AND BEING A BETTER PERSON THAN SOME JUDGEMENTAL, CRUEL ASSHOLE?
:)
Posted by timandkeely on February 11, 2011 at 9:51 PM · Report this
355
Lindy, you are awesome..and hot!
Posted by ladymeshel on February 11, 2011 at 9:52 PM · Report this
356
Great article! I think you speak for a lot of people who don't fit the beauty "standard" of today's culture. Thanks
Posted by fanta@ on February 11, 2011 at 9:55 PM · Report this
357
I won't rest until there are 1000 comments in this thread!
Posted by brokn2pieces on February 11, 2011 at 9:55 PM · Report this
358
FUCK! YES!
Posted by thunderboltjackson on February 11, 2011 at 9:55 PM · Report this
Eva Hopkins 359
@ 348 - 100% agreement. Dan has written about his family history of weight issues multiple times. As usual, your calm reasonable voice is a welcome one in a heated discussion thread.

"It may be possible that his love for others combined with his personal efforts at his physical appearance have blinded him to the idea that his words are hurtful to some? And they may have blocked him from realizing the depth of hurt, and to the realization that he doesn't walk in the shoes of others?"

Not tossing that anywhere. I think it's true.
Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.lunamusestudios.com on February 11, 2011 at 9:56 PM · Report this
ceefurn 360
wow. awesome.
Posted by ceefurn http://weeklygeekshow.com on February 11, 2011 at 9:57 PM · Report this
361
It has been my experience that tracking calories is a bitch. Wanna know how many calories is in a serving of potato chips? Look on the back of the bag. Wanna know how many calories are in a serving of apple? Go look it up on the internet or something. HISS!
Posted by Lorran on February 11, 2011 at 9:58 PM · Report this
Explorer 362
Hello, you are amazing.
Posted by Explorer on February 11, 2011 at 9:59 PM · Report this
363
@ 286 -- No disputing that men get judged on factors other than appearances as harshly as women get judged on looks and weight specifically. That's not what I was talking about though, and it has nothing to do with this article. My initial point was that I just feel a lot of pressure to be thin, as do most women. I wasn't comparing the hardships of women and men. But now that you've admitted that women *are* held to greater judgment than men when it comes to looks, I guess you're rescinding your earlier opinion that I was perpetuating a double standard.

So: we agree. Thanks!
Posted by Amanda on February 11, 2011 at 10:04 PM · Report this
364
Thank you! I understand that being overweight is less healthy.. but so are fad diets and over exercising.. so is being seriously depressed and hating yourself. I'm not entirely happy with my body now, but I've birthed two beautiful babies from it and I love my Husband. I could probably work out and lose more weight but whatever free time that I have to spend "working out" is spent with my kids and my family. I'd rather spend an hour doing arts & crafts with my daughter than sticking her in a damn daycare so I can run on a treadmill. She'll thank me some day.
Posted by StephNOhiO on February 11, 2011 at 10:10 PM · Report this
365
Fat does not necessarily mean unhealthy, I'm skinny and I'm in not fantastic shape healthwise. Genetics dictate that some people just vary in size, and that's fine. What bothers me about fat activism in general is just the whole attitude of "there's nothing wrong with me! As a matter of fact what's wrong with you for thinking there's anything wrong with me?" Look, whether you're comfortable with yourself or not, humans are simply not meant to be bigger than a certain size. Period. You should really not be chronicly and grossly overweight, regardless of genetics. And just as a thought experiment, forget about stigma as a social problem and consider it as a residual biological imperative- when I'm a Neanderthal roaming the plains trying to take down an antelope, or defend my settlement from wild animals or whatever, the overweight tribe member is a liability to me.
Posted by Katieshrike on February 11, 2011 at 10:14 PM · Report this
Fnarf 366
Lindy officially wins the internets. Dan has to do her laundry for a month. And do it RIGHT, damn it, don't just stuff it all in one load.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 11, 2011 at 10:17 PM · Report this
367
Thank you, Lindy! and AMEN! I love Dan Savage and have been a loyal reader for a long time, but his disconnect with the issues of feminism and fat-phobia sometimes make me wish he would refrain from advising people about stuff he has little understanding of. And while fat phobia is an everybody issue, I consider it to have more of an effect on women in our society. You now what else is really bugging me about some of the comments on this post? I would bet my whole thousand dollar tax return that not one of the people commenting about how it's just laziness, or you need to stop eating cheeseburgers is viceless, just because food may not be a weakness for them doesn't mean they are healthier. It's just like Dan constantly posting about how much he fucking drinks, but bashing smokers and fat people. We all choose our own vices, people.
Posted by PacNWfem on February 11, 2011 at 10:21 PM · Report this
368
Lindy, you are a BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER and I love you. Also, I am super jealous of your Lindy brain.
Posted by JenV on February 11, 2011 at 10:25 PM · Report this
369
Wow. Lindy! I admire your sense of humor, self, and your GARGANTUAN balls.

I don't know if it's possible, but I'd really love to see Dan grow up and admit he's wrong for once. How can he be a champion against bullying when he contributes to the cultural hatred of fat people which, do I even need to say it? Leads to bullying of fat people.
Posted by apoptotic on February 11, 2011 at 10:29 PM · Report this
370
Also, @296- you clearly have no understanding of how metabolism works. Yes if you workout a ton you are more hungry and eat more. However because of the consistent increased exercise you will actually be burning more calories at rest than you were before. So you can ear more while working an exercise plan and still lose weight.

If you need an example, consider American farmers in the early 1900's- one always hears about them eating nothing but huge amounts of carbohydrates and salt pork and bacon and tons of eggs, things like that. However, they could do that and stay fit because 70% of the day was spent doing hard manual labor. It balances out.
Posted by Katieshrike on February 11, 2011 at 10:29 PM · Report this
371
You are SMART, hilarious, and sexy as hell. Go, Lindy, go!
Posted by Maxine on February 11, 2011 at 10:30 PM · Report this
372
As someone who was diagnosed as diabetic at 90 lbs and who is now 230 lbs all the mention of fatness as a cause of diabetes bums me the fuck out. I am fat because I am diabetic, not diabetic because I am fat.

And is it any coincidence that Dan Savage is so fatphobic and openly misogynist? I think not.
Posted by yoursecretary on February 11, 2011 at 10:30 PM · Report this
373
And as for the whole stupid "airline seat" argument: I am a size 8 and I feel like a goddamn trapped rat when I fly. Those seats aren't the size they are because they are comfortable for the average person. They are the size they are because that's as small as the airlines can make them and still sell seats. It's all about the money, honey.
Posted by apoptotic on February 11, 2011 at 10:31 PM · Report this
374
You go, girl!
Posted by jambalaya on February 11, 2011 at 10:42 PM · Report this
Canuck 375
Ah, this makes me sad. Dan and Lindy are both so funny, and savvy, and smart, and making a difference. I'm not even going to jump into the debate--both have valid points, I think--but instead wanted to post something that someone else put up on another blog I read...I thought it seemed like a good thing to pass along:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sXTS1gno…
Posted by Canuck on February 11, 2011 at 10:52 PM · Report this
376
@348: That's a very charitable view for you to espouse. However, as I mentioned above -- just because someone has an anecdote to share doesn't mean that it should be shared.

Mr. Savage is obviously paid to write blunt advice to people with sexual troubles, but that doesn't mean that he needs to be needlessly cruel. It also doesn't mean he gets to stigmatize, demonize, and de-humanize a group of people because he feels they are unattractive without hearing from others about his behavior.

It's really about politeness. It is unnecessary for anyone, Mr. Savage included, to go out of their way to make other human beings feel worse about who they are.

Perhaps you might understand it differently when I describe it another way. While they certainly have the right to do so, does it make you feel any better when commenters on Slog belittle your religious views -- and you, personally, for espousing them? Does it serve any purpose other than schadenfreude?

If you can understand that, then perhaps you can see where @318 comes from. It is understandably frustrating to receive this kind of torment from someone who is, in most other areas, a great person; more importantly, someone who is usually our ally.
Posted by medeii on February 11, 2011 at 10:52 PM · Report this
377
@ Vamos-- so perfectly well said! Sooo many things can affect how much a person weighs-- wether someone is eating to shield their grief, pain, or self hate, or if they simply choose to be the weight they are because they are comfortable in their own skin and have come to accept it. Of course there are real metabolic disorders, and folks who simply make bad choices for a myriad of reasons. Truth be told-- people do loose weight, large amounts of it, and keep it off. They do! No one has to.. nor should they be treated poorly for the body they live in. Simply put- that's unkind and unnneccesary. Many people use unkind words as a way to motivate others -- thinking they are helpful by pointing things out and being "truthfull". But I resent the idea that losing weight and keeping it off isn't possible and that we aren't in control of our own health and our bodies. There are choices we make every day and whether they are educated or "right" isn't anyone's right to say. But I think -and this is my opinion- those who believe that "fat" is not a choice don't have all the facts, have given up-which is a choice, or don't choose to search out the reasons for themselves, or simply aren't ready to address their weight, or don't have the desire to--either way they they are entitled to respect. Obesity isn't the same as being a few pounds overweight. It does have health complications and there are risks associated with it. It's not about a number, a dress size, or a socail norm, it's about a risk. Either way I respect you, your opinions, your right to them, and your body, whatever size it is. I'd happily sit next to you in an airplane.
Posted by Mom of 6 on February 11, 2011 at 10:54 PM · Report this
Sandiai 378
You Go Girl!
Posted by Sandiai on February 11, 2011 at 10:56 PM · Report this
seandr 379
Looks like a super fun body to me, Lindy.

But more importantly, that was fucking brilliant.
Posted by seandr on February 11, 2011 at 10:57 PM · Report this
380
I'm adding to pile of "Go Girls" - Yay Lindy!! As someone whose weight yo-yo's constantly in the gay community, I'm seriously wondering why it's all worth it. This is just skin in various shapes and sizes, and frankly - the sizes that keep getting pushed and featured aren't really that thrilling. I've been on both ends (*Twink to Bear and back to muscular and then back to bear) and frankly, it's b.s. I'm actually under my ideal body mass and for what? To hate my gut with even more vitriol?
Dan - kindly step out of the All-Twink universe you inhabit and start looking at people with real bodies as not your adversaries.
Posted by MisterB on February 11, 2011 at 10:57 PM · Report this
381
And one more thing I forgot in my above post: I am glad that a few people have made the point that Dan's statement about rolls of fat being unsightly is not a fact, and he should have worded it as his own opinion. I, for one, have never been into skinny girls. People have all kind of theories about what makes me a "chubby chaser", but all I know is that a bigger body is sexier to me.
Posted by PacNWfem on February 11, 2011 at 10:57 PM · Report this
382
This is great. Bravo Lindy!
Posted by jillguidi on February 11, 2011 at 10:59 PM · Report this
383
Quoting from the "Hey, Fat Chick" blog... I felt it was very relevant and pretty much sums up this entire issue completely... And may I add to the overwhelming support here - Lindy, you so ROCK.

"Even if all fat people are the way they are due to their bad choices, even if every single fat person is unhealthy, that does not justify sub-standard treatment. How can the health of strangers possibly inspire such vitriol? If you remain convinced that others’ bodies are your business and that people must justify their existence to you, perhaps you should consider the possibility that you are an arsehole."
Posted by sanguisuga on February 11, 2011 at 10:59 PM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 384
WOW like WOW people look at how many people think about body image and self image and image and self and well you get the point. Lindy here's a real shocker, your body will not stay the same. No dearie me it won't. It will get old and start to sag here and there. And well one day you will look in the mirror and wonder who is looking back at you. Yes people it does get worse, oops I mean better. Just give it time. So how about we all just chill with the body thing and do the best with what we have. America's problem is we have way way way too much free time to lament about money or romance or body issues. Some how I think there must be more to life. Hmm I wonder if there is.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on February 11, 2011 at 11:11 PM · Report this
385
Dan crows all day long, and rightly so, that pastors and politicians have a hand in the deaths of gay teens who kill themselves. If that is the case, then how can he not see that by contributing to and authorizing fat-bias he has a hand in the mental anguish of chunky kids, both gay and straight. And especially, consider the chunky gay kid, who has EXACTLY ZERO fat gay role models. The gay kid who is taught that there is really one way to look and if you don't fit, your only recourse is to be a part of the leather fetishist/bear community. How isolating, to look out from a rural conservative town and know that even in the big city he won't find a community that views him as normal.

So, yeah. Lindy, this is your It Get's Better Project. If only a fraction of the people who have posted share this with someone, you will in all likely hood save some girl from an eating disorder or encourage some young gay kid to keep the faith.
Posted by DMElkins *registered* on February 11, 2011 at 11:14 PM · Report this
386
Is this like the most comments EVER for a slog post?

Lindy, you're awesome! Love ya, girl!
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on February 11, 2011 at 11:15 PM · Report this
Madashell 387
Lindy, I think that you have earned the title of Queen of Slog. Heading towards 400 posts, baby!
Your writing has made me pee my pants. Your post dampened my face. I've lived this, and as you can see, so many others have.

You fucking rule.
Posted by Madashell on February 11, 2011 at 11:16 PM · Report this
388
@341-- you must have misunderstood my logic. i don't exercise either-- in fact, as a classical musician, i have a pretty sedentary life. however, i also eat probably radically less than the average (more active) person. if i ate typical restaurant size portions every meal while maintaining my current activity level, i would probably be overweight and also in very poor health. the point is, there is no magic formula to achieve a perfect weight or health level. everyone needs to find the equilibrium between eating and activity that allows them to be healthy and not burden their body with excess weight. the same balance won't work for everyone, but it's within everyone's power to adjust their life to be in control of their weight and general health.

finally, i'd just like to point out that i totally approve of 'fat' people accepting and loving their overweight-ness. however, accepting a larger than average size should be viewed as a CHOICE. There are many many people who are overweight and would rather not be, and choosing to embrace overweight-ness also means choosing to embrace a statistically less healthy lifestyle (and potentially a shorter life). It's fine for people to make that decision consciously, but it's simply not OK that as a nation we turn a blind eye to the millions who are unwilling struggling with weight and assoociated health implications
Posted by bluedavid on February 11, 2011 at 11:16 PM · Report this
Puty 389
Not going to read 383comments to see if someone else said this but: I assumed you were older from your smartsmartsmart writing which I really hope works out to be a compliment and if it doesn't I apologize. Great post! Thank you.
Posted by Puty on February 11, 2011 at 11:17 PM · Report this
sirkowski 390
Your boobs are huge, so it's all cool.
Posted by sirkowski http://www.missdynamite.com on February 11, 2011 at 11:18 PM · Report this
stinkbug 391
I'm impressed that this thread is nearly 400 comments and no one has yet mentioned the orange extension cord in the photo.

It reminded me of Lowly Worm.

And to make this somewhat related to (fast) food, per the wiki: "About 500,000 Lowly Worm and Huckle Cat finger puppets, distributed by Taco Bell in 1993, were voluntarily recalled by Taco Bell following complaints that the puppets had gotten stuck onto children's tongues."
Posted by stinkbug on February 11, 2011 at 11:19 PM · Report this
392
For the record, I've been pointing out that Dan's a bully for years. He wants acceptance for the gays (which I support 110 percent) but spends most of his time putting down and generalizing about fat people, Christians, Southerners, people who live in rural places, etc., etc., etc.

He gets away with it, I guess, because he's Dan Savage. Shame on his bosses, I've always thought.

If only someone would stand up for some of the other groups Dan bullies.
Posted by Grease Wizard on February 11, 2011 at 11:24 PM · Report this
393
I believe Mr. A-Lot spoke the word of truth when he proclaimed:

"I like big butts and I can not lie."

If we are to look at the historical attitudes towards sex appeal wouldn't we be encouraging all these anorexic waifs to chow a burger once in a while?
Posted by Rake on February 11, 2011 at 11:25 PM · Report this
kim in portland 394
376,

My point was that I disagreed with the hypothesis that Savage was thin due to blessed genes. The rest was just hypothesis about why he sees his own writings as not being hurtful. That is all.

People make fun of me all the time for multiple reasons from being legally blind to what they think are my religious views, etc. There lies the source of my compassion. I know what it is like to be rejected, beaten, and bullied. I have found that while their is a reason for unkindness that does not justify the behavior, understanding the reason why helps address the issue.

In short, I choose to love in the face of unloving behavior. I think love has a greater ability to inspire change than belittling. You may disagree. Feel free to disagree.

Enjoy your weekend.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on February 11, 2011 at 11:26 PM · Report this
395
Word to responsible Pit Bull owners: "It Gets Better."
Posted by Rake on February 11, 2011 at 11:27 PM · Report this
396
THANK you, Lindy! You rock! Am in perfect agreement with you on every point, and I would like to add that men who demean women for not fitting into their ideal of the 'perfect' woman by calling them lazy, &c. need to understand that men's experiences with weight loss are not the same as women's experiences with it.

As for me, I'm still working on trying to live a healthier life because I want to live longer, but I would give anything to have come to love my body the way you have. The battle continues. Three cheers for our standard-bearer!
Posted by First Time Inspired to Comment is Unregistered on February 11, 2011 at 11:35 PM · Report this
397
I sincerely agree. I'm honestly so tired of hating everything about my appearance. And to be honest, I'm pretty sure that if I were thinner, I would still have been uncomfortable with it. I want to be proud of who I am. No, I'm not perfect, and no amount of exercise will change that. I've been there. I've dedicated my entire days to health and fitness. I worked out religiously, hardly ate anything. And yes, I did lose some weight, but I was fucking miserable. It wasn't a life. It was a prison sentence. I never want to live like that again. I never want to have all my thoughts revolve around how many calories I've taken in and how many sit ups I'll have to do when I get home to undo that turkey sandwich I ate earlier. So maybe I won't ever be a size 8, but at the same time, I'm not a fucking cow. I don't have diabetes. I have a normal blood pressure, and have never even been to the doctor. I'm going to be proud of myself, and of the beautiful person I am, inside and out.
Posted by lucismundis on February 11, 2011 at 11:42 PM · Report this
398
Thank you Kim. Reading your comments is a gentle reminder to me that one can be gracious in disagreement, and that in the end, it's best to employ compassion (for self and others) and empathy. I'm a big Savage fan but could never understand what I determined to be a huge disconnect in his personal opinions of fat people. It led me to believe that he simply had a mean streak. This may very well be the truth, but I appreciate your view that it may be something else. That's not to say that what he says on the topic isn't hurtful, self-defeating and harmful, just that perhaps there is perhaps another (maybe kinder?) reason for him saying these things other than a part of him being a vicious cunt.
Posted by Soo on February 11, 2011 at 11:46 PM · Report this
399
"OOPS I JUST YAWNED TO DEATH."
YES. x1000. People who obsess about weight (their own or other people's) are just betraying the fact that they have nothing in their lives that is actually worthwhile and interesting.

Thanks for writing this. I don't care about your body, as long as you keep carrying that fucking gorgeous brain.
Posted by Nitidiuscula on February 11, 2011 at 11:49 PM · Report this

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