In my e-mail yesterday:
People Who Are Brash and Amorous Hindu Gods Who Do the Darndest Things and Subsequently Receive Comeuppance
As told by Kamban’s Ramayana, there was a great sage named Gautama, who lived in a remote location with his beautiful wife Ahalya. The god Indra became obsessed with Ahalya’s beauty, but knew she was too pure to ever cheat on her ascetic husband. So he devised a plan to come to earth disguised as Gautama. He waited until Gautama left in the morning, and then creeped into Ahalya’s room and had sex with her. Ahalya thought it was her husband, so why not have a little hubby quickie in the middle of the day? At that moment Gautama came home and saw Ahalya with Indra (Indra tried to be a sneaky bitch and slink away disguised as a cat, but it was too late). 
Gautama, enraged, turned Ahalya into a stone, but Indra’s punishment was way better. Because Indra was so obsessed with Ahalya’s snatch, Gautama put a curse on Indra that would COVER HIS ENTIRE BODY WITH VAGINAS. Maybe this could be added to the different kinds of people there are.
Thank you in advance,
Your Friend Irene
Thank you, Irene. This is an excellent point and an egregious oversight on my part.
Images from Wikipedia.
I dunno. This sounds like a “god” as opposed to a “person.” Instead, I suggest adding “people who harmonize during work singings of Happy Birthday.”
If you wrote a Lindypedia, I would surely buy it.
@1 especially the high-harmony folks. Am I right?
Sounds like she would be in desperate need of a guy whose entire body was covered in penises.
Wow, that could be a lot of fun.
Let me get this straight. His wife gets tricked into having sex by someone who has assumed the husbands shape, and the husband feels the need to punish her, and turns her into stone. That is one mysogynistic and fucked up story.
how does a “sage” turn someone into stone, and a cover a god in vaginas? this story has no internal logic.
I’m with you, @5.
You would think that being covered in vaginas would just make him very, very popular wherever alcohol was consumed.
@5 & @6: I’m with you. WTF is going on here, anyway? No, Lindy, this is not another kind of person that there is. You were right not to include it. I don’t know much about Buddhism, but wasn’t the Buddha’s name “Gautama”? Maybe HE could turn you into a rock or a lot of vaginas! Best wishes to all.
@5: Are you familiar with the Ramayana? There is plenty of misogyny in Hindu myth.
Actual quote: “There are cross-dressers out there who wouldn’t touch a man’s penis if it were made of vaginas!” Conversation took place yesterday, totally parallel to the posting of this blog piece. Sppoookkyyyy…