Recently, while visiting the Vancouver Aquarium, I became aware of the existence of a very large fish. This fish is inappropriately large.
The arapaima, pirarucu, or paiche (Arapaima gigas) is a South American tropical freshwater fish. It is one of the largest freshwater fishes in the world.
The diet of the arapaima consists of fish, crustaceans, and
other small animalsthe sweet flesh of the pure of heart. The fish is an air-breather, using its swim bladder, which is rich in blood vessels and opens into the fish’s mouth, an advantage in oxygen-deprived water that is often found in the Amazon River.
Are you listening? This superfish is not content with its underwater mud-nest! It breathes AIR. That means it could be anywhere (i.e. YOUR HOUSE). Have you checked your house for Arapaima?
To give you an idea of the size and danger of this fish, here are some scientific documents I have collected (AT THE LIBRARY, SINCE YOU ASKED):
See that catfish? The one peeing its pants at the bottom? No, you don’t! Because that catfish is ACTUALLY THE LOST CITY OF ATLANTIS. (Arapaima is incredibly big!)
In closing, I would like to stress that Arapaima has a “bony tongue.” Swimmers, beware the bony-tongued Arapaima.
Lindy, I think I love you. Call me.
Lindy, you’re my favorish
That fish is awesome, and so is Lindy.
As president and sole member of the Arapaima Supporters Society of Hoquiam, Olympia, Lynnwood and Everett, I am offended.
A.S.S.H.O.L.E. will no longer be subscribing to your blog. GOOD DAY.
haha lolfish. thanks for the laughs lindy.
haha lolfish. thanks for the laughs lindy.
argh! sorry for the double-post. grr.
@49, “if, in order to withdraw it, the candirú is caught by its tail or its body it expands its dorsal and ventral spines into the tissues, which fix it there more firmly than ever” and “he had to operate, making a suprapubic opening into the bladder to remove the fish which had penetrated into that organ” and “Several men could only be rescued from death by amputation of the penis”. Um, no thanks.
There was a fish, or a rumor of a fish, like this in Vietnam. Soldiers were warned to wear a condom 24/7, except while urinating, and even then to pee through something to keep the fish from coming up the stream. Dunno what it was; candiru are only in the Amazon. Grey’s Anatomy did a story about them, but it was shockingly total bullshit (“world’s smallest vertebrate”, not hardly).
large fish R gay….
i hope this fish won’t be at the cha cha later!
cuz, you know, bony tongue!
I’m going to name my next seven kids Arapaima.
Arapaima Lindy, that is.
The Amazon also has Giant Otters, which are 5 to 6 feet long. Giant Otter, defend me against the Arapaima! Cuteness triumphs over a bony tongue!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_Otter
That fish gets you BIG points in Animal Crossing.
@63, Exactly what I thought when I first saw this post.
That is a big fish I guess.
It is the dawning of the age of aquarium.
The first time I saw this fish in an aquarium, I thought I was still drunk from the night before. Massive.
why must this fish have a bony tongue? it could’ve been my dream catch.
But what about the coelacanth? More about the coelacanth please!
@44 the most memorable part of the Vancouver Aquarium are the totally sweet Beluga, who not only have weird giant soft fiveheads, but also blow water rings (like smoke rings, but out of water!) and then swim forward and poke their snouts through them.
Air breathing fish are an abomination. Only mammals with fins should be allowed to be that large underwater.
did you know there are like 12 foot long fish in lake washington? lake washington: it’s RIGHT THERE.
Just doing my part to bump this up the “most commented” list.
lindy west, reigning queen of slog.
and thanks for the correct use of “fishes.”
xom
Now, what with all the flooding in Brazil, there are alligators from the rivers coming into people’s houses–meaning that, if you are in Brazil, the Arapaima actually could be in YOUR HOUSE.
Let’s not forget the 15 foot-long sharks in Puget Sound.
http://www.seattleaquarium.org/NetCommun…
Some fun Sixgill shark facts:
1. Sixgill sharks all have the same zip code NO MATTER WHERE THEY LIVE. They are the only species of fish that exhibits this behavior.
2. Sixgill sharks are allergic to cyclamate which is a sweetener used in Diet Coke. You should never share a Diet Coke with sixgill, as it will make them itchy.
3. Arapaima’s heads look like playground slides with eyes, but this does not redeem their lifetime dedication to hedonistism and evil.
Ingredients:
Fish:
• 1 kg of pirarucu pieces
• Salt and black pepper to taste
1 liter of water
• 2 bergamots (montenegrina) cut half + peel rasps
• 1 branch of thyme
1 branch of celery
• 1 glass of dry white wine
Purée:
• 1 kg of yam cooked water and salt
• 200g of cold butter
• 150ml of milk
• 50ml of fresh cream
salt and black pepper
• 500g of baru nut, peeled, roasted and chopped
Preparation:
Step 1
Dress the fish with salt, black pepper, and bergamot peel rasps, set aside.
Step 2
Heat the water with the bergamot, thyme, celery and wine.
Step 3
Add the fish and cook for 5 to 10 minutes, until it is tender.
Step 4
For the purée, heat the pre-cooked and mashed yam together with the cold butter and milk, salt and black pepper to taste
Step 5
Add the fresh cream, little by little, so as not to clabber.
Step 6
Use the Baru for decoration. The crispy part will result from that.
Note: There is a separate recipe available for grating the bony tongue together with brazil nuts.
Delicious!
holy fuck.
holy fuck.
holy fuck.
Lotta comments.