I wanted to meet up with someone from Williams-Sonoma, the SF-based kitchen toy superstore, for a book I’m working on. So I did the reasonable, responsible thing and contacted Williams-Sonoma’s PR department to ask for an interview. Here’s my answer:

Thank you for your email. After careful review, we have decided to pass on this opportunity. We appreciate your interest in Williams-Sonoma. Have a nice afternoon.

After careful review, I have decided to come to SF anyway, Williams-Sonoma, and to write about your business anyway. It was never my intention to write anything the least bit unflattering about Williams-Sonoma—I have some of your fine stainless-steel flatware at home—and I won’t be utterly destroying you now just because 1.) I can, and 2.) your PR people won’t talk to me.

But I am going to do this: If there are any Williams-Sonoma employees out there—retail folks welcome, corporate honchos preferred—who would like to talk to me, please send me a note. I’m not sniffing around for sex or scandal or a soup ladle to complete my set. I’m just looking for someone who can answer a few questions—on the down low—about the creation and marketing of new product lines, give me some background on Williams-Sonoma, and walk through a store or two with me while I’m in SF if it isn’t too risky.

I can offer complete confidentiality, of course, along with post-interview drinks and unlimited sex advice for life.

61 replies on “Confidential to SF-Based Employees of Williams-Sonoma”

  2. Okay, ordering up the Paul Kelly on iTunes… (can’t go wrong with a good Irish name like that…)

    So, @ rob!, did you read Dan’s post and see “sex for life”????
    (I did…effing sexlexia…)

  3. Wow…I really wish I worked for Wiliams-Sonoma in San Fransisco now! Unlimited sex advice for life! O.O

    Haha. Hope you find someone to answer your questions, Dan!

  5. oh, he’s not being immature… he’s going to get an interview now, even if it’s an anon one…. somebody who works there will want to talk about whatever dan’s really after. which is why he posted this in the first place, me thinks.

  6. @48: Here Canuck, jump ahead of yourself and hear said Paul Kelly gem (amongst his many others). @50: I have a far-reaching love for Oz pop of a long period of years. Paul Kelly falls right into that.

    And, uh, qu’est-ce que c’est indeed. Remember what Québec is famous for pioneering and perfecting. In the holy trinity of poutine, gravy is as necessary as the fries and curds are. It’s much like gumbo in the sense that if you fuck up the roux, you have to throw it all out and start over.

  11. Media people complain about not being given interviews all the time. “We contacted Company X and they refused to comment!” can be heard on practically every newscast. Dan’s not being a drama queen.

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