If you were among the 2100 people who crowded into On the Boards tonight for one of the seven sold out screenings of HUMP! 5… and you wanna talk about what you saw, what you liked, what you didn’t, and the sights and sounds from which you may never recover… this is your open thread.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…….
Had more fun and sex at Bellevue High Prom night …. oh, well.
I’m not naming names, but I recognized one of my neighbors.
Hey Dan, I’m really curious about the vids that missed the cut. Without violating anyone’s privacy, care to reveal in general terms why some submissions didn’t make it? Poor quality, repetitive, not hot, too much like xtube fare? What percentage made the cut?
I recognized somebody from pre-school.
That being said, who doesn’t love a good nude Single Ladies?
The dirty water/piss/dirty hand one was absolutely stunning. Not erotic for me but a staggering piece of cinema. Seriously. And I never want to see a cigarillo in my life ever again.
So I went to all this bother to donate my old LDS (Mormon) garments, a remnant of my past life as a conservative closet case… and the guy I donated them to for his film went with jockstraps instead. WTF? I should’ve kept them to myself and just have my BF spooge on them or something.
anyone else think the only person really excited about this is Mr. Savage?
@9:
Why can’t you enjoy HUMP & be “sexually fullfilled in a loving relationship with a partner or spouse?”
Are the two mutually exclusive??
@9, I’m married, been with my wife for 15 years (high school sweethearts), and have a baby on the way. As I lie in bed typing this, cuddling with my wife, with whom I have a wonderfully fulfilling relationship, I can report that you are dead wrong.
I would suggest that you have a fear of open communication and sexual expression. My guess is that you prefer your partner(s) repressed and scared of sexuality. I also guess that given your narrow, judgemenal attitude, that your partner (presuming you have managed to attract one) knows better than to be honest and open with you on the topic of sex, lest they be judged. Enjoy your life of repression and narrowmindedness!
You can lie in bed cuddling with your wife and comment on slog at the same time? You should make a film next year about your special talent and very understanding wife.
People, fer fuck’s sake.
It was awesome, as always. I do feel a bit concerned for the girl with the apparently hook-shaped colon, however. That’s not normal. Not at all.
I’m in a loving relationship and will be seeing HUMP with my partner this afternoon.
I’ll update you on whether or not it tears us asunder.
Of course, we survived last years HUMP…
@14
A couple years back, I took my middle-aged gold-star-lesbian girlfriend to Hump. She had NEVER EVER SEEN PORN, if you can believe such a thing. Had never seen an erect cock. She thought porn was supposed to be offensive and degrading to women and all of that, and avoided it. I told her, hey, come to Hump, see a bunch of people who mostly seem to adore each other, making sexeh movies in a spirit of fun, and see if you’re offended. She wasn’t offended. She was DELIGHTED. And aroused. And her pussy tasted just as good after watching porn together as it had before, and that night she slept snuggled just as tightly against me as she usually did. Happily ever after, the end, dude, whatever.
@6 “Incubus” was my favorite, too. I was enthralled with every second of that short. I thought the woman was ejaculating, tho’.
@13 the joy of the iPhone
@14 thank you for recognizing that some people can have a good relationship, and enjoy porn.
you’re repressed, no YOU’RE repressed!
HELP HELP I’M BEING REPRESSED
Beyond gay & Larry king were hilarious. Loved both of the 1950s spoofs as well. Kudos to the brave couple on the trolley. Why oh why couldn’t that old guy just tell her the password?! The whisk, well, just wow.
Sadly there was nothing that turned my wife on – if someone could make a flick with closeup pussy licking next year, I’d be much obliged.
I wanted to yell out either “leave him alone, he’s just an old man!” or “just give her the password!”
My loving partner or spouse and I enjoyed it, despite the grave threat to the intimacy of our 20-year sexually fulfilling and loving relationship.
A lot of funny stuff, but there were only a couple moments that I actually found erotic. I mostly enjoyed hearing the reactions of the audience – gasping and groaning at the pain, cheering on the SLUT couple, “Tell her the password!”, and a few quiet “whoah”s when the guy came in the Larry King video.
Also, that hook thing looked really dangerous. One could die from a perforated colon, no?
my husband and i have been to HUMP three years in a row now and had an awesome time as usual. i noticed that this year there was a lot less anonymity and a lot more hardcore fucking than in the past. i feel like there used to be a lot more without closeup genital shots and whatnot. not that i’m complaining, mind you, just an observation.
that hook… uuuurrrggggghhhhhhhh! that woman has an amazing capacity for relaxation. also, i’ll never whisk again.
$20 WHAT A FUCKING DEAL!
RAKE IN THE BIGS MR MONEYBAGS SAVAGE.
GOTTA PAY FOR YOUR KIDS BRACES SOMEHOW EH
28 is a whiny pissy loser.
My boyfriend and I still fuck like bunnies, and we’ve never really looked at porn in the past year or so, yet we make a point of going to HUMP! every year. Somehow the Earth hasn’t crashed into the sun and we’re still together and we’re happier than ever.
So suck on that, Raindrop.
I will forever smile when I see the real single ladies video. I hope the SLUT couple wins one of the categories, just becasue I feel like they deserve it the most! I was turned on by the good book, do I have something wrong with me 🙂 ??
Hump was amazing! It is so great to see the creativity and enthusiasm for fucking that exists in Seattle. (and Portland!) Although, someone vomited during the showing I went to… and I am really curious to know what video triggered it.
You know it’s PC porn when the women are so fugly…seriously haven’t seen that many hairy, unattractive, bad skinned women since I was in Olympia.
I’d like to go to HUMP, however I have friends who submitted a film that was rejected and the ticket prices are too expensive for my unemployed self.
I guess it’s a hint.
Best Hump Ever! Really well done. The quality of the porn has greatly improved. Something for everyone. We’ve gone four years in a row and we really enjoyed it! Great job you perverts!
Repressed people are hypocrites. Repressed people can’t stand the idea of sexual liberation because that means sex isn’t dirty. In their kinky minds dirty, dirty sex is soooo much more hot than the boring, plain pilgrim sex most normal people have. If they accept sex is just a natural human act it takes all the fun out of their kink. All those dirty, nasty things they accuse us uncouth, dirty sluts of doing they love. Srsly, how many times is it that an open, honest out person winds up suffocated in a gas mask and wet suit with a jumbo-sized sex toy stuffed up their buns after snorting cocaine off a panda-suited, under-aged hooker’s bum? Never. It’s always some “Good” Christian, Married, Family-Values type person who loudly and vehemently denegrates the sexually liberated in one breath and then gets caught sucking cock in the public park or public toilet.
p.s. If you didn’t make it to HUMP and are curious to know what they do with anal hooks and consider searching for it on X-tube, JUST DON’T!!! because I just did and that’s not something you can un-see.
@36 IAWTC
you watched it, you can’t un-watch it!
some were great (larry king, SLUT riders) and some were so-so but really, how many other cities are doing this smut parade?
HUMP is really fun but do tell, where the fuck does all of the money go?
@27
I forgot about the whisk! 😀
I actually liked the part where they were pulling the whisk out. I thought that looked very cool.
Have I mentioned that “Incubus” was beautiful?
It was beautiful.
I laughed. I cried. It was better than Cats.
Seriously, I think I enjoyed myself a bit more last year. The writing, editing and delivery this year could have been a bit crisper.
Highlights for me was the Single Ladies song — Waxy Moon was in the audience with us and the boy can move — but I wish the camera work was as good the dancing. The Beyond Gay couple. The reaction shots of Larry King. The bike dykes. Both couch/sofa features. The Dow plastics ladies.
I agree Incubus was the most compelling and artful cinema, but as it was neither funny nor arousing, I can’t imagine it winning money.
I could have done without the torture short (get me an AG opinion — stat), the anal hook and the whisk up the cooch. Yikes! And the virtual realty one would have been cool in 1987, but seemed really trite now.
I wish there had been more than just two categories to vote on, because “funniest” and “sexiest” didn’t begin to cover the range of quality and creativity displayed by this year’s entries. I gave my vote to “Beyond Gay” and the one with the punk priest-and-nun respectively, but would also have liked to have given Incubus an “artsiest”, those two SLUT kids a “gustiest” (nice touch, the “Risky Business” homage BTW), and the anal-hookee a “creepiest”, because, well, guess you had to be there.
And you know what? Even with those additional categories there would have been some stiff – ahem! – competition for each one.
Seriosly, some of you HUMP’ers – on both sides of the camera – should consider doing this for a living. If the response from my audience was a typical one, you could be making real bank by creating more of this.
@42 “Seriosly, some of you HUMP’ers … should consider doing this for a living”
Given the excellent quality of some of the films in the last 3 years, I assumed many HUMP entries are from film students or experienced amateur film makers trying to go pro.
Incubus got my sexy vote. The level of craft in that one was undeniable. The funny vote was really tough. Citizen Kame, I’m Hard (hip hop collage), & E.T. all made me laugh until I cried.
The anal hooks short was too much. “The password” was the breeder equivalent of “Fun with Candy” from Hump 3. In other words, the audience was twinging and gasping especially when the cigar was used on him.
Beyond Gay and “How to please your husband” were fucking hilarious. “Read my lips” was incredible. It’s not everyday you see a sexy nerdy black woman having her way with a hung nerdy white boy.
Incubus looked too professionally done. I mean it was probably done by film students who know how to use a digital video camera and final cut pro to their advantage. Great concept, but it’s someone I’d expect to see as a film short for a Gay & Lesbian film festival.
@ 36 thank you, I almost searched. I shall have to remain in ignorance when it comes to rectal hooks.
@28 and @38: They give out two $2000 first prizes, plus two $500 second prizes and two $250 third prizes. So that’s $5500 dollars right there, plus renting a theater for two days straight can’t come cheap- Not to mention renting the theater(s) for the Portland HUMP screening as well.
Isn’t this a thread for people who saw the show and want to talk about it? Stop judging people for liking porno and making wild baseless assumptions about their relationships. You are not better than us so just shut the fuck up.
Overall it was a great show this year with a little something, and a little too much, for everyone. I think HUMP should be expanded next year, because I saw some great vids that didnt make it in. Just sayin’.
Also, I’ve just gotten the green light to make ET3 which involves anal hooks and Larry King.
Your film was great, Pastey. Job well done.
This was the wife’s and my fourth HUMP! in a row and by far my favorite. This year had the greatest variety and diversity while still holding onto the amateur ethos of real people making porn and porno-esque film shorts. I’ve got to say that the addition of the Portland entries seemed to take the level up a notch. Also, hands down the homos outshined the heteros with a solid mix of truly interesting, funny and sexy boy-on-boy and girl-on-girl action. There was some good hetero stuff, don’t get me wrong, but seriously fellow breeders. We need to bring it next year! It was really hard to vote for just two winners. After the Saturday night showing, eight of us who had attended hit the Canterbury and discussed the porn show. We all had different opinions of which film was the funniest, but surprising enough, we all voted for Cyclust as the sexiest (even the 4 gay boys in attendance). Bravo! real-life lesbians! Bravo. To the 1950s modern house-wives film, I must say I was shocked that I had never had this fantasy before! What’s wrong with me? So hot! And cute! The cute level was off the charts this year. So many cute, real naked people. One of the beauties of HUMP! is the sweetness that somehow coincides with the porn (Cyclust, Dance Belt, Boys Beware, Sex 102 and more). And how the people involved represent different body types and shapes. Oh, and believe it or not, not everybody was white this year. Hooray! and thank you! And let’s not forget the hilarity that ensued. I swear to baby Jesus that I have never laughed so hard while out at the movies. The laughter was so loud and pervasive at times that it occasionally drowned out the sound and made us miss other witty goings on. Sure, the cringe factor was intense this year (I’m just so glad he didn’t TWIST the whisk!), but I respect the kinksters for their dangerous play and willingness to share their versions of sexuality with the rest of us (not that I’ll be asking to have a cigarette put out on the top of my penis any time soon). A testament to how good the festival was this year, after we got home the little lady instigated our own sexy-time. A post-HUMP! first!
What really sucked was having had a great time at Hump and knowing I’d never see the same entries ever again. Some of them get stuck in my head and I really want to see them a second time. Citizen Came was hilarious. I’ve never thought of fucking a sandpussy. Or humping all the statues in Portland while wearing a bearhead (yiff?). Awesome. Beyond Gay was great–I hope that shows up on teh internets sometime. Cyclust was so cute, sweet, and hot at the same time; I really want to watch that one again. Another successful HUMP!
Mad props to the Trolley Tryst couple for actually filming that video on the SLUT. Even though you guys probably got banned for life, that was amazing.
@28, 38 and 48
I think HUMP! partially funds the Genius Awards as well.