I spotted this portrait of a Native American in an antique store in Idaho…
…and I regret not purchasing it.
What I’ve posted above is just a detail; the full portrait is simply too vertical and way too staggeringly shatteringly awesomely amazing to post to Slog jumpless. You’re going to want to see the entire painting, Sloggers, but you’re gonna need a moment to brace yourselves before clicking through. Ready? Okay…
They wanted $450 for it. The HICBIA talked me out of it (“It’s not even framed, Dan.”) I will never forgive him.
That’s hideous, Dan.
HIC is right, that’s $450 you have for beer, now…priorities!
Besides, I think that’s Maggie Gallagher dressed up for her politically insensitive halloween party…
is that a baby falcor?
Dear lord! My wife would murder me if I brought that home.
Barely one step above a Keane wide-eyed waif. The HICBIA was right — you need to forgive him. Unless you’re planning on turning your home into a museum of atrociousness.
Jeez Louise!
Is that one of the creatures from Labyrinth?
3, That’s exactly what I thought!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qZq5CWapz6s/TJ…
Although Sioux and others in the plains ate puppies for ceremonial purposes, I do not think Shih Tzus were the traditional choice for the ceremonies.
Cafe Racer’s Official Bad Art Museum Acquisition Crew speeds its way along I-90…
Yeah, but look at how sly your husband was, Dan. He totally skimmed by the aesthetic value of it (thereby avoiding the argument of whose taste is better, which nobody should be picking with a spouse) and made a practical appeal: It’s not framed. Framing is expensive, even at Michael’s and their constant 60% custom framing sales.
He’s looking out for your wallet AND checking out your ass at the same time. Your husband is awesome.
Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ. You would have been better off with a black velvet painting of Elvis.
The dog looks pretty relaxed for having had its lower half run over by a train.
Oddly enough, it made me think of that depiction of the starving african child with the Louis Vuitton bag.
@8, Neverending Story, not Labyrinth. Other than that… yeah..
And oh, are those electrodes attached to the end of each feather? If so, that would explain the strange glow behind and to the right of the Native American… man… er… woman… er person.
Is it velvet? Oh please let it be velvet!
If you still want it, just call the store and arrange to buy it over the phone.
I especially like the friendship bracelet.
I think “antique store” is a generous description of the kind of place that would sell something like that. One suspects the proprietor’s Aunt Sadie painted it during her first year at the home.
That is resplendent.
That thing in his lap reminds me of the flying dog-whatever from Neverending Story.
Yep — Falcor.
Don’t blame you a second, Dan.
Terry has a point, Dan. It would totally clash with the 200 pound Viking Helmet construcion grade plaster artwork you already have.
@3: That’s exactly what I thought!
gus, weeping Indian lasses who look like Jessica Alba are HUGE in a certain type of home here (read “all of Mr. Canuck’s relatives who are over 60.”) They are usually done in needlepoint, petit point if you’re classy, and hung over the living room sofa, but some are painted, as you say, by artful aunties.
Shit, Dan, I have a painting of the same subject matter that is just as bad. I’ll sell it for a cool $100. I’ll even deliver it up to the Stranger’s office for you.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=51…
Cool story! “So I was going to do this…but I didn’t.” NO REGRETS, DAN!
I say crop this photo and print it out on a color ink jet and stick it in a cheap 4X6 frame for the Ann Landers desk… the memory of the find actually is better than having this looking at you from a wall.
“HICBIA”? I’ve Googled and urbandictionaried and threw the yarrow sticks and still got nothing. Husband in Charge something something?
“Husband In Canada, Boyfriend In America.” Pronounced “HickBUY.”
Not sure how linking works:
Here’s another version:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=68…
@31, it took me a minute to recreate that too.
HICBIA = Husband in Canada, Boyfriend in America.
Awesome acronym, Dan.
Oh dear sweet fucking gods that thing is hideous.
Fantastically awful! I share your regret.
Thanks #3. I knew that white ball of fluff looked familiar.
It is the little dog that gives it that certain something special. I can see why you were so tempted Dan. I am also glad that your HICBIA can be counted on as the voice of reason, or VOR if you will.
*votes with Terry*
AWESOME
Terry’s right. It’s fun to enjoy the fruits of ironic awfulness, but you shouldn’t let them take over your walls, or your household budget. Trust me on this one. Get some real art.
Dan, I’m afraid that lapse in judgment and taste on the behalf of your HICBIA is grounds for a fully justified DTMFA.
Tell you what:I’ll split the cost with you and we can each hang it in a place of honor for six months of the year.
Go on back and buy it
I like the furry puppy FINGERS.
CICDFII
Chief In Canada Dog Fucker In Idaho
Strange that the paint is handled with care and skill to make such an ugly thing. Usually with this type of kitsch, either it looks like it came off of an assembly line or the “artist” doesn’t know how to paint at all.
I agree with Terry and with @17- the only thing better would be if this were on black velvet.
I’m so relieved you have your very own HICBIA who, as I recall, tried to get you to put the damn laptop down and enjoy your vacation; and who has now saved you a good chunk of change … not to mention bleeding eyeballs.
::votes two enthusiastic thumbs up for Terry::
I like it. I also really like the implication that that Indian must be freaking huge if he’s holding Falcor in his arms like that.
I think that would be awesome bathroom art.
@47 Helenka…it’s just too bad Terry is so unfortunate looking, but then he obviously has so many other good qualities…;)
Dan was maybe heading up to Kimberley? I remember endless trips up the T-bar when our kids were little at that ski hill, and toting the baby in the backpack…and then into town for schnitzel!