Santorum—the slick, the Rick—washed over Slog earlier today. The point was made—yet again—that the gays and teh buttsecks is so icky. How can we expect mainstream Americans to accept us if we’re having teh buttsecks and getting santorum all over absolutely everything?
Two points:
1. If you’re doing anal sex right, America, there’s shouldn’t be any santorum. (And if you’re doing politics right there shouldn’t be any Santorum.) That’s why santorum is defined as the “frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” If you’re clean, if you’re only engaging in anal sex when your bowels are good ‘n empty, if you’re using condoms—in short, if you’re doing it right—you’re only going to have some frothy lube to show for your efforts, not a frothy mix of lube, fecal matter, and semen. Santorum sometimes happens, of course. Let’s not kid ourselves: it’s ass fucking, and accidents sometimes happen. But it’s always an unwelcome and unexpected occurrence, a mood-killer and a sex-ender (“Let’s hit the shower!”).
2. Most of the santorum produced in America—or frothed in America—is produced by… STRAIGHT PEOPLE. According to a 2005 study by CDC, “40% of men and 35% of women between 25 and 44 had engaged in heterosexual anal sex.” And then there’s this: “Another survey in 2008 focused on a much younger demographic of teens and young adults aged 15-21. It found that 16% of 1350 surveyed had had anal sex in the previous 3 months, with condoms being used 29% of the time. However, given the subject matter, the survey hypothesized the prevalence was probably underestimated.”
Gay people are a tiny percentage of the population—roughly 3-5%—and even if every gay couple in America had anal sex every time they had sex (and something like a 30% of gay men never have anal sex), we would still be way, way, way outnumbered by the numbers of straight couples having anal sex.
So who’s responsible for most of the santorum being pumped out in America? Straight people are.
There are innumerable infections and various diseases associated with the infectious nature of fecal matter that can be contracted from engaging in sodomy because of the many microorganisms found in the anus and because of the delicate nature of the rectum, (ruptures and lacerations).
Human papilloma virus.
Anal cancer.
Hemorrhoids.
Anal fissures.
Chlamydia.
Gonorrhea.
Hepatitis A, hepatitis B, hepatitis C.
Herpes virus.
Rectal prolapse.
Loss of control over the bowels.
HIV/AIDS.
Nature is very clear on what’s the purpose for the anus and that purpose is not sodomy. As such when one engages in such acts one must take into account as for example a smoker has to, that such behavior will ultimately lead to death. It also needs to be taken into account that just as we keep children away from tobacco advertisements and other media and corporate tactics to addict them on a habit (smoking) that will send them to an early grave, if we are truly honest and want our children to take on healthy habits we must also keep from them any promotion of sodomy and any other messages that condone and entice them into engaging in abuse of their anal area. In that sense some gay lobby groups have lots of culpability because they (due to their ideology and practices) have been at the forefront of culturally normalizing and promoting sodomy unto the larger population which includes our children.
@5, ignoring Loveschild:
Ummm. Maybe fix the “and” to be “an” and then you’ll have a point. Catching one error and not the other? Priceless. And very witty choice of name! Trolls are funny!
@51, I know it’s hard for you to concentrate for long periods of time, but the WHOLE POINT OF THIS POST in the first place was to point out that “gay” is not a synonym for “anal sex”, and that most of the people having anal sex are straight, not gay, and many gay people don’t have anal sex, and — have I mentioned this already? You’re a stone cold moron and the most deeply-entrenched bigot I’ve ever run across.
51, Loveschild, far more people die or get maimed in car crashes than they do with anal sex. Does that make cars immoral? Do you ever think though any of the crap you spout before you type it? I love totally discrediting your arguments at every turn.
@2, 15: The only reason you think that there’s always santorum up your ass is because you’re so full of shit, Mike. And maybe we’d try to counter your argument if you HAD one, but you only have bigotry and ignorance, so, um, this is my last response. From here on I’m adding you to the list of people I ignore completely.
@41: Applause.
53
thank you for clarifying it, Fbarf.
really.
read it again.
no one is saying only homosexual anal sex is unsafe.
no one is saying heterosexual anal sex is safer than homosexual anal sex.
you’re being a little defensive.
Loveschild is correct in noting that the homosexual culture is active in promoting acceptance of anal sex as normal.
our own dear Danny would teach kids that anal sex is a 100% foolproof safe alternative to risky vaginal sex.
that’s perverse.
54
if one operates a car while drunk or stoned and kills or maims someone it is immoral.
if one knowingly operates a car unsafely and kills oe maims someone as a result it is immoral.
deceiving kids about the health risks of anal sex is immoral.
trying to convince our kids that anal sex is a 100% foolproof safe superior alternative to vaginal sex is immoral.
57, Most car accidents happen to sober people, so really your argument is invalid.
Everything we do comes with risks, and nobody is arguing that kids should be taught that anal sex is 100% fool proof superior alternative. That is you trying to divert the debate because you can’t make an argument based on the facts.
Driving a car is far more dangerous to one’s life and health than anal sex, yet people don’t get hysterical about automobiles.
51 – and there are no diseases spread during heterosexual, vaginal, penetrative, whatever-the-hell-you-want-to-call-it sex? Are you saying we should encourage kids to never have any kind of sex every because of diseases, then?
58
Dan’s EXACT words were: “100% foolproof”.
59
if a man and woman are uninfected with STDs and remain monogamous they can have unprotected vaginal sex and never give each other disease.
two uninfected people having unprotected anal sex will, each and every time they have anal sex, be exposing themselves to disease causing bacteria and introducing those bacteria into places in the body where they will do great harm. anal sex is inherently unhealthy behavior.
we should encourage kids to postpone sex until they are married and to be monogamous thereafter.
58
If one operates a car while drunk or stoned and kills or maims someone do you think their behavior is immoral?
If one knowingly operates a car unsafely and kills or maims someone as a result do you think their behavior is immoral?
60, In what context? Anal sex is 100% foolproof in that no one will get pregnant having anal sex. Do you not understand what you read, or do you deliberately misinterpret it?
62, No matter how much you want to divert the debate because you can’t argue on rational grounds, if you spend time in a car, you are much more likely to be harmed or killed than if you have anal sex for that same time period.
Everything has risk. You choose to be hysterical over gay sex, but cars, which are inherently much more dangerous, don’t phase you.
Why do you need to make stuff up, rather than arguing on the facts?
64
Bob,
If one operates a car while drunk or stoned and kills or maims someone do you think their behavior is immoral?
If one knowingly operates a car unsafely and kills or maims someone as a result do you think their behavior is immoral?
58
Bob,
Dan IS arguing that kids should be taught that anal sex is 100% fool proof superior alternative.
63
your momma fell for that line and look what happened…
65) Yes, they are operating an vehicle, and already dangerous thing, making it even more dangerous. Having anal sex is much safer, especially when one takes the proper precautions. But again you only bring this up to divert from the fact that you are much more likely to be harmed or killed in a car than you are having anal sex. Yet for some reason you don’t rant against the evils of cars. I wonder why?
66, Again, do you not understand what you read, or are you deliberately misinterpreting it? Maybe a reading comprehension class for you?
I love this thread. Simple post: More straights than gays have butt sex. That’s probably true, too. And yet every fucking wingding in the world seems to think it’s some kind of invitation to rant about queers.
You guys are all fucking losers.
67, maybe a basic 5th grade anatomy class for you? Your home schooling is showing.
68
Bob, try to focus.
this post isn’t about evil cars.
besides, none of those cars have been convicted of anything.
Most of those diseases/problems helpfully listed by #51 are also transmissible by penis-vagina sex. Except for the anal ones, obviously. But with penis-vagina sex you can add fun extras like cervical cancer, so it sort of equals out.
Jesus, you guys just can’t resist trying to teach the pigs to sing, can you? For myself, I love love love that I can killfile anyone who irritates the fuck out of me and make them *poof* disappear! Yay, no more asshole trolls!
@ the guy trying to make a case against butt sex.
so, where would you have a gay put his dick?
@75: In his mouth, in an airport restroom, obv.
Quite a bit of misinformation being spewed around here, but not all of what the haters (yes, they’re still haters) are saying is untrue. I personally know two guys who had to have their buttholes “fixed” because of, um, what they took up their butts being too large of a “calibre”, shall we say. One of them damn near died.
So, instead of going about screeching “NO BUTTSEX! NO! NO! NONE AT ALL! NOT EVEN STRAIGHT BUTTSEX!” how about if we promote a very antiquated and “quaint” (to use Wolfowitz’s word for the Geneva Conventions) concept called moderation.
In the case of gay guys, I’d like to see, amidst the avalanche of safe sex information available in most gay or even kinda-gay areas or, of course, on the interthang, a message of, “Hey guy, think about it, do you really need to have that dude’s 12 inch dick inside you? Couldn’t you settle for a great looking 7 incher? And do you really need to get fucked NOWNOWNOW?” It all comes down to practicing moderation, which is something Dan’s been preaching for years.
the real thrust (pardon the pun) of this discussion is that the people who are offended at the risks of anal sex aren’t offended because it’s risky. As others have pointed out, ‘most everything fun is risky. Driving, vag sex, sky diving, oral sex, deep sea fishing, &c. The people who are offended by this particular risk are offended because the participants find it to be fun. Shame on you.
@77, I’ve known women whose cervices were injured from taking in things of ‘too large of a calibre’ also. Usually things attached to rather insensitive incompetent straight men. And god knows everyone thinks its ‘natural’ to stick dicks into pussies, you know as long as you’re married and trying to get pregnant and not trying to have a good time or anything… A man with a 12″ cock ought to know how to use it no matter where he’s sticking it.
No arguments with the moderation thing though, definitely a good idea in any context.
Also, Fnarf, I just never ever get tired of your comments. you kick so much ass.
@12- That sentence also means that opposite marriage is also unnatural.
@loveschild: ” As such when one engages in such acts one must take into account as for example a smoker has to, that such behavior will ultimately lead to death.”
All behaviors lead to death.
But more to the point, nothing you list is an inevitable outcome of anal sex. And the mouth is for putting food in and breathing, but I bet you kiss with it. And you get lots of germs that way.
80
because same-sex attraction is so important in opposite marriage….?
To each his own. But maybe this incredibly boring straight vanilla guy thinks anal sex is not worth the effort.
First you have to convince the girl it’s a GREAT idea, and it’s usually more for your curiosity than anything … it’s just that it’s right there … and you think wow … I’ve seen it on the TV, people put there dick in there all the time.
Then you have to lube it, and stretch, go really really slowly …
And even then even if there is no shit, your dick most likely will still smell like ass and be contaminated with disease … so no vaginal or blow job for you if you fuck up.
Not to mention if you go in to quick you end up hurting your partner and feel like shit for just doing something for the hell of it.
For me personally, can’t say it’s worth it. But to each his or her own.
@5 Fixed. Thanks!