I'll begin with the loathsome cunt who mooched off me and my roommate for months, only to lure my boyfriend into MY bed. I hope your drunken sex and his not being able to come thanks to your stenchy hole made you feel good about yourself. He probably was too drunk to know it wasn't me, since we are BOTH THE SAME RACE AND YOU WERE WEARING MY PANTS and oh... did I mention this was in MY ROOM? I hope I never fucking see your slut ass on Broadway, or I swear to God I'll go to jail for assault.

Next, there's the French restaurant I went to on my birthday. How fucking dare you. You fucking chode. You asswipe of a shithead man. You call yourself a bartender, but I see you equal to a rapist. How dare you scream at me and my friend for laughing and having a good time in the bar! We weren't DRINKING and I was PREGNANT and it was my FUCKING BIRTHDAY! How daaarrree you for ruining my favorite restaurant and telling us that we should leave and cursing us up and down just as were paying an $80 tab heading to the door. If I ever see you again, you will not get laid by anyone in the residing area, and I'll punch your lights out if you even so much as look at me.

I'd watch you both die. No one else. Just you two.