I‘m sure you don’t care. You’ve got dreads and smell like Nag Champa at all times, so why would you? We’ve never spoken, but I see you at least once a week. We even frequent the same bar and buy bananas in the same spot. I’ve seen you naked. You haven’t seen my boner, but since you posed nude for that charcoal sketch class, we pass each other constantly. I always make a point to tell whoever I’m with, “Hey, I’ve seen her naked.” My boys always think it’s funny, but the girls not so much. You got a nice hippie pussy, keep it tight, iiaaaite.

—Anonymous

65 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. Oh she’ll care alright. In about five years when she meets that special guy, cuts the dreads, and buys a house with a working shower. After the kids are born, she’ll need a daily dose of meds and therapy to repress the horrors of flashing her kooch to some horny would be artists. Then one day she sees some guy pointing and laughing with his ‘boy’s’ and BAM! She grabs a pair of scissors from her purse and………… No more art house boners! And you’ll scream, ‘I wrote an I, Anon about youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!’

  5. What an immature twerp. She didn’t ‘share her pussy’ with you – she just posed nude, asshole, she never fucked you,. And since you are a loser, I doubt if she ever will. Or that most of the women you’ve told “I’ve seen her naked, hurk-hurk” will either.

    Grow up, frat boy.

  9. Ugh. You obviously have to brag about seeing a woman naked in a *completely* non-sexual context because women who would otherwise sleep with you can smell your immature douchebaggery miles away. At least I hope they can, because you do not deserve pussy.

  10. Duuude, at least she smelled of Nag Champa instead of rancid smoked salmon cheese spread.

    You gotta watch out for that Wookie nookie. Am I right?

    Highfive brah!

  11. I’m a woman, and I used to pose nude for art classes in my early 20’s. I didn’t get any particular thrill out of it – I only did it because it was easy money – but being naked in front of strangers was never big deal for me either. (And, no, @1, I don’t need to repress the memories. Jesus, not everyone is that hung up about being seen naked.) I was also perfectly aware that there were probably a couple of immature, creepy pervs like this Anon in the classes, and I didn’t care.

    Sounds like Anon at least knows enough (I hope) not to approach the model in question when he sees her, so he’s not really crossing any lines, just looking like an asswipe in front of his friends.

  12. @11 Sea Otter: I never posed, just took the drawing class, but I agree. Drawing nudes wasn’t that big a deal for me, either. I had a cool art professor, learned more about human anatomy, and the class was part of the degree.
    Unfortunately, there will always be asswipes out trying to “impress” their equally obnoxious beer buddies. Ignore ’em and usually (hopefully!) they’ll go away.

  13. your dreadz always smelled like vanilla.With or without, I still love you.Doin great in the green mountains.My niece and nephew send their love.I do too.

  14. Anon sounds like an anxiety riddled moron who has never been in the same room as a naked woman before. Bravo mom and dad for putting him through art school.

  18. Yes, many guys fondly remember the first time they saw a woman naked that was not on a computer screen or in a magazine. Remember it well. It may be a long time before you actually touch one.

  19. @5 and @9 – haha, exactly!

    I model for art classes myself and am glad I’ll have some private entertainment looking around and pegging which idiots share this line of thought the next time I’m standing up there staring at them. (yeah, that’s right, the models who are up there for 2+ hours have plenty of time to stare at and develop opinions about you!)

  21. Growing up, the neighbors built a big beautiful house. They weren’t our friends, and so it was unlikely that an invite to a housewarming party would be forthcoming. My mom was driving by one day, noticed the neighbors were gone and convinced the builder to give her a tour of the house.

    For the next 15 years, every single time we would drive by the house, my mom would say “See that house, I’ve been in it.”

    Reminds me of this kid talking to his buddies about art class pussy.

  25. Have any of you considered that this flash “hippie pussy” might well have been a traumatic experience for the I.A?

    Have any of you actually seen one of these unwashed untended overgrown gardens in the wild? It’s a SHOCKING sight.

  28. 5, 9, 11 and 12 got it right.

    If you’re in college taking an art class and this nude lady drawing was a big deal for you and probably the closest you got to seeing pussy in person you’ve got problems. When you’re college-aged you’re the best looking you will ever be, so hopefully people in bars and in class are trying to have sex with you. I’m female and in my thirties and I still look pretty good, but when I was this guy’s age there were a whole, whole, whole lotta people who wanted to “share” their pussies or dicks with me for real and not from a distance for a charcoal drawing. I got hit on constantly because I have great tits, a decent body and a cute/pretty face. Ain’t no way in hell I would’ve be bragging about some seeing art class tatas or dicks that everyone else in the room saw too. If you’re young you should be bragging about the chick you picked up and went home with, not some secret boner that no female ever saw, fucked, touched or even cared about. That’s just pathetic.

  31. I agree with Arthur, did he hit a sensitive nerve Auntie Grizzle ? trim that bush girl ! you never can tell what is running around that thicket otherwise.

  32. @33 Gnarled Up Bozo is a Clueless Bozo: Ummmmmmmmm….YAWN….don’t tell me, let me guess…
    YOU’RE the chichenshit 12-year-old DOOFUS, too scared to be a registered poster, who wrote this ANON!
    Oops–did I hit a sensitive nerve?
    Well, I couldn’t care less, fratboy troll!

    Yeah, well, if you see sores on your shriveled up pink pickle, or green-gray Disney Technocolor soft-serve ice cream slithering out your slit, don’t come mommy-whining to me. If it’s cancerous, maybe you’d better do something other than be an immature little dick before some doctor finally slices it off. Have you read a recent edition of Last Days? Or can you read?

  33. meh, I see this happen all the time. I ride the Metro with a girl who was posted on isanyoneup.com and people always point & whisper whenever she gets on or off. Sure it’s juvenile but it happens. At least this person can admit he does it rather than deny it… kudos for that I guess?

  35. What a bunch of self-righteous bimbettes. “You immature pervert!” Give me a break from your rigid Seattle-ish unrealism. There is nothing unusual or “perverted” or “immature” about a young male getting excited by a nude body, irrespective of whether or not the setting is an art class. God, I am embarrassed at how naively moralistic fellow liberals are sometimes. This was a very honest I Anonymous post, and the poster is likely a pretty normal dude.

  37. @37: This ianon feels it important to express slight regard for the girl. He shows himself as a slight person. If that’s ‘normal’ for guys, well that’s sad.

  38. @37: There is nothing normal or acceptable about a male getting aroused at the sight of a nude body in a COMPLETELY NON-SEXUAL context.

  40. Is this post really a thing that happened? I really wonder why this was published – like, I’m sure many dudes have seen a naked woman at one point in their lives and privately thought “FUCK YEAH”. What you do in your own room with the spank bank is your own business.

    It’s an entirely different thing to post some creepy screed on the internet.

    This is like Beavis and Butthead go to college.

  41. @37: Said another chickenshit unregistered poster.

    Chickenshit nuthin’!

    Yeah, I’m too lazy to take the time to create a yahoo account and then use a name like “Auntie Grizelda” by which everybody could track me down. I’ve registered here before (forgot which email address and password) and can assure you that it didn’t make me any less anonymous when I posted under my account.

    I think that all of y’all are pissed off because this wasn’t written by some vindictive angry person who fucked up an ex-es life. You probably admire those.

    @ 40 “There is nothing normal or acceptable about a male getting aroused at the sight of a nude body in a COMPLETELY NON-SEXUAL context.”

    OK. This verges on the extremely stupid. I don’t know how to respond to this.

  42. @41 and @43 Beavis and Butthead: PLEASE—GO to college! LEARN something! So what are you—-22 going on 12?

    Your ridiculously immature posts suggest that you truly ARE extremely stupid, admittedly lazy, dateless CHICKENSHIT (who the hell is going to bother to “track you down”?? IRS agents? The draft board?) little trolls.

    @42 got it right.

  43. @41 & @43 Beavis and Butthead: the two of you truly are extremely stupid!
    Do the students in your life drawing class a favor and DROP OUT ALREADY.
    Then go back to your own sicko troll organization.
    @43: Who the hell is going to “track you down”, Jehovah’s witnesses?? IRS agents?? The local draft board??

    @42 got it right.

  45. I’m not afraid of anybody tracking me down. You are the one who is obsessed about me not having registered. As stated, it would take time and no other sacrifice for me to create a yahoo account and register under a name as ridiculous as yours. I’d rather spend my time on other things. Yawn!

    I am dateless, true, because I have been in a relationship with a beautiful openminded woman for several years. I told her that there were people on here who think it’s “abnormal” for males to get turned on by nude women posing as art school subjects (the horrors!) and she laughed and compared y’all to New England Puritans.

  46. By the way…

    “Doofus and Dumbshit”
    “DROP OUT ALREADY”
    “sicko troll organization”
    “ridiculously immature”
    “CHICKENSHIT”

    You sure know how to win arguments, dontcha?!?!? Your sophisticated polemics sure have ME on the run, “Auntie Grizelda”.

  48. Then quit posting you sickening scuzzbag and get back out on the street and suck some more cock and remember, don’t go away mad just go the fuck away.

  50. @47 – I don’t think anyone cares if the IA thought she was hot or got a boner, I think people were mainly reacting to him somehow equating art modeling with “sharing her pussy” in combination with making routine “I’ve seen her naked” comments.

    I can get remarking on it once, but to make it a regular topic of sniggering because he thinks of this as “pussy sharing” definitely makes him sound like a guy with very little sexual experience and probably does not inspire anyone to grant him future sexual experience.

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