So you think you’re better than me, huh? That’s hilarious coming
from the hottest mess in town. You are one sloppy, trashy,
crack-whore-looking bitch. Maybe no one has told you this yet, but
flashing your grandparents on Thanksgiving and asking them if your
nipples are too large is inappropriate. Picking up ex-cons 10 years
your senior in a dirty bar by announcing you’re a cute face and a good
fuck is not classy. Fucking some sketchy dude every three months does
not make him your boyfriend. Getting plastered and acting like a ditzy,
whiny-ass bitch is not cute or endearing. Telling your friend’s older
brother that you’re going to suck his dick in a roomful of people makes
you look pathetic. Trapping your friend in the back of a two-door car
and making her listen to a tape of you and your boyfriend having sex is
disgusting and fucking creepy. I know you’ve gone through some shit in
your life, but guess what? So has everyone else! It doesn’t give you an
excuse to act like an asshole. You think you have your shit together
and that you’re better than everyone else, when in reality,you’re a
sloppy, annoying drunk who has alienated most of her friends with her
outlandish bullshit. If you don’t like me, that’s fine. But keep my
name out of your come-Dumpster mouth. recommended

51 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  12. Why did you introduce this skank to your older brother? And why were you friends with her to begin with if you are not so skanky? Or are you an admitted skank and you just don’t like your super skank friend putting on airs that she isn’t.

  17. Ha ha. Who ever wrote this stuck around long enough to hear about ALL this stuff? Wow. I’d a been out after she showed her grandparents her nipples. What does this even mean? WHat?!!!! What did I just read?

  22. What the fuck is wrong with you. If this girl is such a fucking whore, a drain on your delicate fucking sensibilities. A needy self serving come dumpster of a human being then don’t fucking hang out with her! Just say “Go fuck yourself!” When she tries to regale you with her tails of flashing her grandparents and fucking old inmates. Either that or just hand her the business card of a decent shrink and walk the fuck away.

  31. Um, I guess the subject sounds like kind of an annoyance, but I can’t help but wonder how much of the description is coloured by the author’s clearly misogynist worldview.

  33. i certainly hope cum dumpster is putting her proclivities and talents to lucrative usein the adult film industry. other wise….what a waste.

  35. I don’t know how rigorous The Stranger is about AP style compliance, but “cum” violates newspaper style guidelines.

    Anonymous needs to either point Ms. Dumpster (if you’re nasty) to help or live and let live.

  36. “come” is obsolete. a google search for “come all over her tits” gets just 651 results; “cum all over her tits” gets over 22,000.

  38. I think it’s ‘come’ as a verb (ex: I’m about to come) or ‘cum’ as a noun (ex: I hate having cum in my mouth)…if that helps any.

  42. When I was copyediting for “adult” material, the rule was that “cum” is the noun” and “come” is the verb. Not according to the Chicago Manual or Hoyle, but it does seem to be common usage, which is 8/10 of the law.

  47. Everyone is on his / her own journey and everyone will arrive eventually, even Dumpster girl. Personally, I’d rather arrive without crabs and gonorrhea, but that’s just me.

  48. I’ll Trade for my closet c. d. that doesn’t fantasize, have erotic dreams, won’t play act
    sex , doesn’t ever initiate sex
    hates getting oral sex because
    of previous experience, told me
    that only her husband and i were getting her sex favors.
    BUT found out she was swinging with hubby, going on cruises with girlfriend screwing the
    waiters, with the idea that it
    would be the most memorable event in the lowlife’s existance
    screwing a goddess that he could never hope to in his wildest dreams accomplish – and she would give him her very best that she never gave me or her husband – she was that Goddess for the waiter he would remember all the rest of his life -she
    OWNED HIS THOUGHTS FOREVER.

    COMPLETE POWER THAT SHE she could not have with hubby or me.

    I’ll take the cumdumpster

Comments are closed.