When a friend told me that the door to my room was locked, I was
somewhat pissed off. When I opened my door (because that lock isn’t
worth shit) and saw you getting ready to fuck that girl, I was very
pissed off. When you tried to give me $10 for my troubles, I was
extremely pissed off—but even then I was ready to forgive. Even
though I’ve only lived in town a few months and haven’t even used my
bed for that yet myself, I understand that sometimes people need to get
freaky. But when your “partner” stumbled out of my room, falling down
three times before she could even get to the stairs, you lost any
sympathy from me, because I knew then what you were: a rapist.
Someone who is too drunk to stand is too drunk to give consent. I
hope you realize that now, after I introduced you to everyone between
my room and the door as the guy who was about to rape that girl. Be
glad that’s all I did, because Lord knows I and several of my friends
wanted to beat the ever-living shit out of you. “It’s Valentine’s Day”
is not an excuse. You’re a piece of shit, and I can’t even sleep
tonight on the same covers that you nearly desecrated. I hope you can’t
sleep either and you stay up thinking about what I saved you both
from—it is literally the fucking least you could do. 
yay!
Whoa! Now THIS is a good one.
Umm…It isn’t always rape to fuck a drunk person. It depends how well you know them, if sex was assumed and implied or assured prior to drunkenness, and many other things. Screwing a passed out or nearly passed out stranger is rape. HAving sex with your drunk wife is usually (USUALLY) not.
that was me
A drunk person cannot legally give consent. It does not mean that it’s not OK to get drunk and screw, SM, but like the difference between “age of consent” and legal age, if someone decides to take legal action they have a valid case, even a wife.
And Anonymous, probably you should still kick the everloving shit out of that scumbag because he will absolutely do it again.
I totally agree with this letter. There are way too many guys out there that prey on young drunk girls… sure, they aren’t screaming “No!” like in the movies, but their inhibitions are down, they’re slurring their speech, and their judgement is impaired. Here’s a hint: if YOU HAVE TO TAKE OFF HER CLOTHES, YOU’RE RAPING HER.
Men are so disgusting sometimes. And by the way, by law, if a woman has had one drink, it’s rape if she says so.
I”ll make sure the old man strikes this mutha ucker blind, or shrivels his penis or does something that will make him repent. It’s fun to make people suffer.
So all that fun crazy drunk sex I had last weekend was really my wife raping me?…
I’m sick of the bullshit “to drunk to give consent” line thrown around so often… why is sex the only act we remove all personal responsibility from when someone is drunk…
I was drunk when I was driving so I’m not responsible for that DWI and manslaughter charge…
It’s not my fault I abused my children I was drunk all the time…
I was drunk when I beat the crap out of him so I shouldn’t go to jail for assault…
We were drunk when we fucked so he’s a rapist…
Pure bullshit…
Anon your friend may be an asshole but so are you for labeling him a rapist out of petty spite…
Man people on the internet will find a way to argue about ANYTHING. Yeah, no shit people, if you’re both drunk and willing and into it then its not rape, but its pretty obvious from the context that that was not the case here.
I disagree with you, AKSeth. There is a difference between you being drunk and committing those acts, and you being sober, her being drunk, and you committing those acts. Yes, drunken driving and beating children is deplorable, when drunken or sober, but, if one takes advantage of a girl because she is drunk and one is not, or even if one is drunk as well, a person should still know the definition of “too drunk”
If you are truly too inebriated to know that she is not truly in a state to give consent, that is a completely different issue, but implied in this article is that the male knew exactly what he was doing when he took this drunken female home.
“Men are so disgusting sometimes.” – Wow, talk about gross generalisation, Sara, lumping all men together with sexual predators. What a bitch.
women cant rape drunk men. wanna know why? because in men consent is determined by a hard on, men dont need words to provide consent. its only rape if she grinds your whiskey dick. but you knew that, or at least could have figured it out. of course it is possible to have sex with a woman without her being hard or moist, hence the need for explicit consent both legally and morally.
there is a big difference between beating your kids or driving while drunk and a woman having sex while drunk. a woman can lay flacid and have sexual intercourse, you can not lay flaccid and beat your kids or lay still and drive.
sex with a drunk woman is not always rape, but it can often be; and legally can always be if she wants it to be. that is the point alot of these people are making.
I guess I was raped when my sober ex-girlfriend had sex with me when she was sober. I have a teenager from that night. No regrets but I want to press charges. Ooops, statutes of limitations won’t allow that.
Sorry people, time to take responsabilty for actions and don’t get too drunk to wake up in a frat house. If you don’t take personal responsability, chalk it up to a learning experience.
It’s a jungle out there and we are victims of our hormones, right or wrong!
Cock blocker!
I say that “Subtleties Matter”, the douche bag who sounds like he’s seen the bad end of the legal side of this before….yeah, that guy! He sounds like he may be the rapist in questiion, doesn’t he?
Legally, in my state at least, if you have sex with a person (male or female) that is drunk, then it can be classified as rape. It does not matter if you are married to that person, long term dating that person, or just met that person. It is one of the first things they tell in coming freshman at college.
Were does it say that he wawsnt drunk as well? Maybe he wasnt as drunk as his partner was. Not excusing anything, if he really was trying to take advantage b/c she was drunk, then fine. But to label someone a rapist b/c of what you think might have happen is fucked up. That assumption should have been up to the drunk girl to decide. Once she sobered up, she should have been asked if she remembers the night b4 and if she was planning on fucking.
I understand the writers anger but labeling somene a rapist is a serious label.
The politically correct tone of this “I, Anon” just makes me want to puke. Good grief! The high and mighy *lesbian bitch* that wrote this screed wanted to munch the drunk woman’s carpet, but a MALE go to her first! Now it’s rape? Lady, go back to your room and fire up the vibrater, because that’s all yur getting.
It doesn’t at anything about how drunk the guy was, this just sounds like a jelouse room mate ie- “I haven’t even used my bed for that yet”
kenair. victim of our hormones ? disturbing. check yourself.
Setting aside the issue of the young lady’s ability to consent for a momemt… Where does this guy get off locking his roommate out of the dorm room without a prior agreement in place? THAT’S a clearly non-consensual act… Valentine’s Day or not, it is not cool to unexpectadly lock someone out of their living space so you can get laid.
IF YOUR GONNA RUN A TRAIN IN MY ROOM, BETTER INVITE THE CONDUCTOR! That bein said, my room ask me.
God at least turn on the web cam for later veiwing. JUST KIDDING! <–. Now before all you militant lesbian ugly broads who didnt get laid on valentines day get all uppity on me, we dont know the whole story. Girls have been getting drunk for an excuse to put out since alcohol was invented, probly lucky to get laid. was she ugly? a whore ? who knows who cares? as for the rape well she wasnt bent over the washing machine with a sock in her mouth so i doubt it. was the guy lame shure, was she stupid yes, dont drink yourself stupid male, or female. thanks i anon getting better. keep going this direction. EAT MEAT
I wonder how drunk you’d have to be to f*ck sara…?
whenever my girlfriend gets drunk she turns into a screaming yelling bitch in heat. got to give her a bone
I don’t think it’s fair to hold men and women to different standards while drunk. This ‘I, Anonymous’ presumes that a hard dick is “consent”, while spread legs are not.
Drunk people make decisions they wouldn’t otherwise, this we all know. A guy is just as much “at risk” of being taken advantage of as a women if they are both inebriated.
That sounds like the whole story, so it must be. Convict him.
Budweiser makes my pu$$y hurt!
In 2005, after a night of drinking, I came to in a parking lot of an office supply store at 5 AM, my shirt missing, pounding on the door screaming for help. Earlier in the evening I had been out with friends. After parting ways with my friends, I thought I’d stop by a neighborhood bar and have another drink before I went home. Huge mistake and I understand my irresponsibility played a huge part in what happened to me. And the worst part, beside my boyfriend, who is now my huband, was terrified, was that I didn’t know what had happened. My husband had called the police and when I came to and started walking in the direction of my house I was able to flag down a police car. The policewoman had heard about the call my husband had made. When I got home, my husband and the friend I’d been with earlier were at my house and took me to the hospital. I was covered in bruises, had bite marks on my arms, legs and torso. A rape kit showed I had internal cuts and bruises. One thing however was that there was no sperm. Which gives me comfort that I fought this person off. I have very, very vague recollections ( i know that i was blacked out, it was literally like a light shut off in my mind)of fighting with someone. It was one of the first things I told the policewoman I flagged down.
Even after 6 months of therapy from therapist with the sexual assault center on Jefferson, I still struggle with huge issues of guilt. Guilt about drinking too much, worrying my partner, putting my self in grave danger. I know that my excessive drinking that night led to what happened, but I don’t think that I deserved to be attacked.
okay, so i understand that getting wasted around people you don’t know is very unwise, dur. but wtf?! where do people get off on telling the victim that it’s their fault for that happening?! all the blame lies on the rapist. they don’t HAVE to take advantage of anyone. sheesh, damn rape apologists…
I’ve been that girl. Except that I woke up the next morning, naked, covered in brusies with no idea of what had happened. It really sucked to find out that a so called “friend” walked in saw that I was too drunk to speak and decided instead of stopping the situation that he just wasn’t going to have sex with me too.
Good for you Anon! But you should still kick his azz, be sure it wasn’t the first time he did that and won’t be the last either!
Just to muddy the waters a little more, I heard directly from the mouth of a former Stranger columnist that “I, Anonymous” is often entirely fictitious. When they don’t receive a good letter, they write one, and generally the fake ones are the juiciest.
Um, having been the drunk girl who didn’t have someone intervene, thank you. I wish more people were willing to step up and help out as you did.
Thank you for writing this. People need to know that that’s not okay. We need to speak out on this and call it like it is.
How hard is it to understand that if she can’t STAND you should not be trying to get in her pants. Everytime I go to the bars I feel like I have to keep an eye on women who are very drunk because there are men all around preying on these women. I know that I get hit on a lot more when I’m really drunk. That’s creepy and a clear example that we live in a rape culture. Rape is not okay. Fucking go home and touch yourselves if your so horny. Stop taking advantage of women.
CorvusB:
Um, doy.
But poodle off a bridge is “juicy.” Rape, not so “juicy.”
I agree with AKSeth.
“Anon your friend may be an asshole but so are you for labeling him a rapist out of petty spite…”
Don’t drink more than you can handle Boys and Girls.
Stop getting drunk if you don’t want to get raped by strangers. Sheesh. Being drunk doesn’t make you invincible, it makes you a target for creeps and assholes. They’re waiting for you to fail. Don’t give them the pleasure.
Come on this is fake
why is it so fucking hard to ask “want to fuck”? why is that such a fucking challenge!! there is no excuse for rape. don’t be a fucking idiot. why would someone even want to fuck someone so drunk they are practically comotose? What are ya a necrofeliac? make the right fucking choice. blue balls can heal. if someone feels they were raped.. it doesnt matter what your INTENT was, it matters what the IMPACT was.. and that will definitely take longer to heal. FUCK!!!
It is pretty damn typical for everyone to constantly blame the victim. Women have to dress more modestly, women have to take self defense classes, women cannot get drunk, women have to do this and that and this and that. Why not.. men STOP FUCKING RAPING!!! the guy tried to give him $10 for FUCK sake. jesus fucking christ. i get so fucking tired of people always blaming the victim. FUCK! ASK THE FUCKING QUESTION>> COMMUNICATE!! if you fucking can’t talk about sex, then DON”T FUCKING HAVE IT!! FUCK!
Start holding women responsible. Period. Hold them to the same standards that men are. This was (in my opinion and according to the story) NOT rape.
akseth, if you’re sober and the other person is drunk do ya really think it’s ok to have sex with the drunk? think about it….
i am one of those rapists – in the 1980’s i got a girl high on
quaaludes, and had my way with
her unknowing body to my most
sadistic satisfaction.
except the ‘lude’ was an aspirin.
i graduated majoring in sex
summa CUM laude
Okay, so the comments on teh intarwebs usually cause me to lose a little bit more faith in humanity each time I read them, so I try to avoid it as often as possible. I made an exception this time, and I have to say: I am SO disappointed in you, Seattle! I am trying to remind myself that this pool of commenters is not an adequate sampling of the population, but…man.
Really? Women who get drunk are “asking for it” ???
Is this really being repeated over and over again? HERE??? Wow. I had this idea of Seattle being politcally progressive and whatnot. I feel so naive.
I just, am so bummed to see this.
She was dressed like a slut; she should take responsibility for it.
She was teasing him and leading him on; she should take responsibility for it.
She was drunk and let herself be in a position to be raped. She should take responsibility for it.
NO, NO, and FUCKING NO.
You know when a woman takes responsibility for having sex? When she openly and willingly consents to engaging in sex. THAT IS THE ONLY TIME.
(And even then, even if the two of you are happily fucking away, the moment that she says stop, she has withdrawn consent. If you force her to continue, you are raping her.)
A WOMAN BEING DRUNK IS NOT AUTOMATIC CONSENT FOR YOU TO FUCK HER. IN FACT, ACCORDING TO THE LAW, IT IS QUITE THE OPPOSITE.
IF YOU FUCK A PERSON, MALE OR FEMALE, WHO IS TOO DRUNK TO GIVE YOU CONSENT, YOU ARE FUCKING THEM WITHOUT CONSENT. THAT IS RAPE.
And to the people out there saying that men can’t be raped: get your head out of the fucking sand. Men get raped all the time, usually by other men.
IN THE US, 1 IN 6 MALES IS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY THE AGE OF 18.
ONE IN EVERY 3 FEMALES IS ASSAULTED BY THE AGE OF 18.
And that’s only what’s reported.
This is a major problem folks. Blaming the victim is just procrastinating the social change needed to solve it.
Get with the times.
And to those of you who respond to women here speaking out by insisting that they are just angry, ugly lesbians–wtf???
Again, I am so shocked and disappointed at this…lack of education. Are we not beyond this yet, people?
Can we all just get together and agree to all be Feminists? Are people out there still insulting feminists and “militant lesbians” ? Seriously???
Again, catch up with the times folks.
And to the guy who said that whether or not it’s rape depends on how well you know the person:
I will not place blame on you for being mis-educated, or call you a moron or anything, but you have GOT to get the facts straight.
I encourage you to visit http://www.raap.org to find out the truth behind sexual assault.
And no, Josh, this wasn’t rape, because someone stopped it in time. That young woman is quite fortunate.
Josh, in honest curiosity, how is the woman in the situation not being held to the same standard? Standards don’t apply here even. She was stumbling, could hardly control her body. Yet he was sober enough to understand he had been caught and realized he needed to cough up ten bucks to make this just go away. I also took it from the article that he tried to use Valentine’s Day to excuse his behavior; excuses are only offered for wrongful behavior.
Of course the right thing for all people is to not allow yourself to get this drunk (including men; erections do NOT equal consent. Society needs to get over that ignorance). But the punishment does not fit the crime. Because this woman drank too much, does she deserve for her only semiconscious body to be used as a cum vessel for the ass hole? Nope, no one does.
Josh, in honest curiosity, how is the woman in the situation not being held to the same standard? Standards don’t apply here even. She was stumbling, could hardly control her body. Yet he was sober enough to understand he had been caught and realized he needed to cough up ten bucks to make this just go away. I also took it from the article that he tried to use Valentine’s Day to excuse his behavior; excuses are only offered for wrongful behavior.
Of course the right thing for all people is to not allow yourself to get this drunk (including men; erections do NOT equal consent. Society needs to get over that ignorance). But the punishment does not fit the crime. Because this woman drank too much, does she deserve for her only semiconscious body to be used as a cum vessel for the ass hole? Nope, no one does.
In my state, rape is defined as penetration of something by something without consent. So if a sober woman stuck something in a drunk man’s ass, it would be rape. It’s not a gender double standard.
Do you know what happened here? Yes, there are guys who prey on drunk girls. It’s tragic and horrible. But the guy might have been as drunk as the girl. I’ve had drunken girls throw themselves at me when I’ve been equally drunk, and in those cases I’ve at least tried to have sex. Maybe they’ve been drunker than I. Still, both of our judgements were impaired.
The writer of this I Anonymous needs to be VERY careful about making such a grave charge without knowing more details.
Yeah, the incident in the I, Anon sounds a lot like an attempted rape, but the posts saying “if she’s had one drink then its rape is she says so” are way OTT. Rape is a *very* serious thing to charge someone with, and a someone that gets it one with a woman that did in fact consent to the act should not be in jeapordy for a serious felony like rape if she has some buyer’s remorse the day after.
if she says no, or can’t say no, it’s rape. pure and simple.
Agreed!! This article is spot-on! Guys need to get a clue and acquaint themselves with sexual abuse and rape laws. It’s NOT okay to have sex with someone without their consent, or even knowing! Some people are so f’d up.