“Why the depressing text?” you ask. BECAUSE I’M FUCKING DEPRESSED IS
WHY, Jesus fucking Christ almighty. You were saying that it “made you
sad”—fuck you. You lost that fucking right the moment you decided
you wanted to break up. It was your goddamn decision, and no one was
pointing a gun to your fucking head and making you do it. If you’re
sad, I sure as fuck don’t want to hear about it. You think you’re sad?
You should have fucking seen me. The last six months of my life have
been the worst six months of my life. I don’t want to hear you bitch
about your life being hard because you’re sick a third of the time and
you miss your friends. I HAVE FUCKING DIABETES, which I have to live
with every day for the rest of my life, and my best friend, my ONLY
REAL FRIEND, FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF. At least you get to see your
fucking friends again. I am THIS CLOSE to failing out of college, my
life is in shambles, and there’s not a day that goes by I don’t wish I
was someone else, somewhere else. I hate my life with a passion, I’ve
fucked it up a lot personally, and it has been fucked with plenty by
the fates. But I’m sick and tired of it. If someone told me six months
ago what my life would be like today, I would honestly have killed
myself rather than deal with all the fucked-up shit that’s gone on. So
next time I say something depressing, THAT’S FUCKING WHY. recommended

98 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. Dear buttheads he’s not upset over the break up. obvs. Please improve your analytical skills before you offer your self indulgent opinion.

  3. The best thing this person can do is find their support system to grieve properly for their friend. The un-supportive ex might not be the way to go. You can at least try to make friends. None of them will replace the person that committed suicide, but at least, if they really care about you and are good friends (this includes members of your family, as well…never underestimate what your family will do for you), they’ll be willing to lend an ear and a shoulder. I’m coming up on the one year anniversary of the death of the love of my life and I can only tell you, it gets better. You’ll never get completely over it, but you do start to move on. Hopefully you can learn something from that person that has passed and use it to improve your own life. All you need is to remember the love you have for them and apply it to everyone else. Stop communicating with the ex until you’re in a better place in your life.

  4. I have learned how complex life is when we enter adulthood. Bad things happen to everyone, but it really is possible to get over them, and to learn something from your hardships. As others have said, time alone has an amazing way of healing pain. But remember to make the changes in your life that you think will bring you happiness. It’s all up to you. As someone who is clinically depressed and has taken anti-depressants for a few years, I know what it’s like to feel like you’re living in a world you never agreed to be in. But it doesn’t have to be like that! I am changing my life plan, which is hard. But I am learning how to live deliberately, and I really am a lot happier. Do what you really feel, and don’t be scared. Go to therapy, it will help. Reach out to people. You would be surprised by how many people care about you and think of you often. I just can’t stress enough how important it is to make the changes that will help you through this. No one but you knows what those changes are. In fifteen years you will probably be happier than you can even dream of right now. You will think back on this time in your life and think, “after he died was a miserable time in my life, but thank goodness I got through it. I can’t imagine not living the life I am living now.” Human to human, I love you. Don’t let these negative comments get you down.

  8. jesus, this is the best “I Anonymous” you tards could come up with? Some whiny emo-tard who thinks anyone gives a flying ratshit why he/she can’t handle the everyday trials of the human condition? This idiot should hurry up and off him/herself and everyone who posts sympathetic comments or helpful advice should join in the suicide party.

  9. Moving, compassionate, real. I enjoyed this rant, and I second what the first commenter said: live through this. It will get better.

  10. Why are you even giving the person that broke up with you the time of day? You don’t want to hear their bitching and complaining, then BREAK ALL CONTACT OFF, and concentrate on getting yourself back to a better place.

    Please seek professional help, you’re in too deep to do this alone. Please don’t give up on yourself. Good luck.

  13. This might sound flakey at this point, but along the suggestion of getting some excercise I recommend trying a yoga class. I was pretty depressed too but it helped make me feel better physically which in turn made me feel better mentally. Forget all the eastern mysticism mumbo jumbo, its a bunch of bs that gets on my nerves every time the instructor starts pontificating on it. But the stretching and moving really makes you feel better and, your spirit will follow suprisingly quickly. Worked for me and it was very inexpensive. Who knows? Might help with the diabetes too!

  14. I lost my spouse of 20 years to kidney disease/diabetes, waiting on the transplant that never came.

    Grow up. At least you can still talk to them whether you’re together or not. I’d give anything to have my spouse back, even if we were broken up (we weren’t), so I could call and talk about how depressed I was. As it is, I get to deal with it all on my own.

    I probably have 40 more years to live, and I have very little desire to get involved again. That’s OK for me, I enjoy my own company. And I don’t gripe about being single, even 2 years after being widowed.

    Yeah, poor me…NOT. I’m making the best of a shitty situation. You should try it.

  15. Anon: This was said before but bears repeating: Get therapy! Now! Things can get better for you–maybe not rainbows and sunshine, but better as in you’ll actually enjoy yourself once in a while. Therapy will get you there if you stick with it.

    Angus: I think the yoga suggestion was a good one. Practicing yoga releases endorphins–great for depressed people, and well, everybody.

    To all the bitter posters (you know who you are): Life in general tends to work better when you find commonality with other people who are suffering instead of crapping on them. Otherwise you’re just trafficking in misdirected anger. Might be anger that you’re entitled to feel but throwing it at somebody else tends to make it grow rather than quell it. Adding more misery to the world never helped anybody or anything. Maybe you feel a tinge of evil joy for a moment but once that’s gone I guarantee you’ll feel like shit again.

  17. Damn I am absolutly surprised by the negative feedback. I’m guessing that those people have never felt this way. Depression is a very real thing and the people that haven’t at least experienced some depression haven’t been open with themselves and explored who they are. You learn an amazing amount about yourself when you go through depression. You learn how to really coup with the shit that is in your life and you learn who your real friends are.
    I’m still on the verge of climbing out of a low point in my life. Last summer I felt like my life was coming together for the first time and then it all just fell completely to hell. I did have suicidal thoughts and believe me there was more then once where I thought what the fuck is the point and the world won’t miss me if I’m gone, but once life started to get back on track I felt a strength in me that I hadn’t felt before. I was hurt but made it though and was stronger because of it. You will feel the same, in time The best advice I could give is don’t keep your feelings/thoughts inside. Talk to someone, start a journal or exercise just don’t let things fester and even though you might not feel like it don’t stay at home all the time. As TV dinner said even if it’s just to walk down to a coffee shop and get a drink your out and if you feel like it would help take a semester off of school, you can always go back.

    Trust me Life WILL get better and if someone rags on you for being depressed tell them to fuck off.

  18. @poopy: emo-tard has now been used 3 times in this comment thread alone. I think that validates it. Also, your inability to criticize any other part of my previous post says to me that you know I’m right but you got butthurt anyway because you were probably listening to Dashboard Confessional while you tried to think of some way to paraphrase Dr. Phil that 57 other assholes in this thread hadn’t already hit upon.

  19. @ Dirtytime
    He is not bitching, his best friend killed himself. Is that enough to entitle him to some moments of “depression”? I guess you may not have any friends yourself, so this type of empathy may be a little of our your grasp.

  23. Jesus, all the negativity! I hope Anon gets some help and stop considering the ex a friend. They aren’t. They are X. If they text, call, e-mail, or make any other form of contact “to see how things are with you”, be sure you’re not around to respond. Get out their and meet people who can give you real support.

    Like these folks: http://www.meetup.com/seattle-social-dia…

    Or these folks: http://depression.meetup.com/454/

    p.s. To the douches who make the negative comments to somebody who’s going through some tough shit: FUCK YOU! Seriously, I Anonymous shouldn’t off themselves, you should! You people are a waste of oxygen.

  24. to the people who say “it gets better” I just want to add the missing part of the sentence. “it gets better, except sometimes it also doesn’t and sometimes it gets worse.” good luck though. that delusional optimism is potentially dangerous. think about a woman in some war torn country who has just lost a family member. then another, then they get raped and murdered. sometimes it doesn’t get better, sometimes it gets worse. sometimes depression does spiral downwards and you get weaker, not stronger, you get more ill,(just saying… i hate bullshit is all. and sometimes that optimistic bullshit can set people up for worse falls, worse grief and disappointment)….

  27. to everyone who’s defending the anon writer: we get it. s/he’s sad. s/he got dumped. big fucking deal, people get dumped all the time. the problem is we don’t all write and submit self-indulgent whining rants. this angsty motherfucker is making a friend’s suicide about how sad s/he is, and guilt tripping an ex for being upset about shit in his life? cut the shit. this bitch doesn’t need therapy, s/he needs to get out of his/her own ass. i mean christ. i know plenty of people going through worse shit who aren’t whining anywhere near as much as this writer is.

    to the anon: i stick to my original advice. grow the fuck up. go out and see people with real problems, get some perspective, and stop sitting around festering in your own bullshit.

  28. tottaly a gay couple, a weak gay couple. boo hoo drama queen, get over it and find a new pole to smoke. better yet do us all a favor and kill yourself remember “jump bitch jump!” the bridge is right down the street bitch!

  29. PETA you are a bigoted fuck, and there is not even any indication this is a gay couple so you are fucking retarded

    changing the the meaning of the peta acronym is the most hackneyed and passe attempt at humor of time
    BTW

  30. PETA you are a bigoted fuck, and there is not even any indication this is a gay couple so you are fucking retarded

    changing the the meaning of the peta acronym is the most hackneyed and passe attempt at humor of all time
    BTW

  31. changing the the meaning of the peta acronym is the most hackneyed and passe attempt at humor of all time

    I don’t know, I think quoting Dennis Leary (“Life is a rough. Get a helmet.”) fifteen years after the fact might edge it out.

  32. 1- You need a clean break from the ex. No contact unless and until you can be completely over this person. It might mean no contact ever. You also need some perspective – everybody gets dumped, usually multiple times before marriage (and that’s if you’re lucky.) You need to remember that all relationships are supposed to be temporary until you’re ready to look for a potential spouse or life partner. And you’re still in college struggling with grades, so it’s no time to be looking for a spouse/life partner anyway.

    2- Focus on your schoolwork. This will do 2 things – keep your mind off your ex and improve your grades. Get extra help from your professors if necessary. Plus, once your grades improve you’ll have something to feel better about.

    3- I agree with other posters that you should get out and meet new people but manage your time well so you have enough time to bring those grades up. Don’t jump into anything serious until you have your own crap together, though.

    4- Losing someone to suicide does really suck. I don’t know what to say except that it’s supposed to hurt but will get better in time. Also, most colleges have grief counseling you can get for free.

  33. Whoa, lay off bitter seattlites.

    Seems like there have been a lot of comments lately on whether the “I, anonymous” columns are “I, anonymous” enough. Why is it that a comment is dumb just because it deals with something that happens to a lot of people?

    Plus, the people who write in don’t get to dictate that they will get published (all they do is send a few sentences of ranting to an email address)…calling them self-important is pretty unfair: all you “I’ve suffered so much more” people prove you are at least as interested in exposure of your trials by chronicling them in these comment sections.

  38. I was on board until the suicidal part. In all, a hilarious rant that rings quite true. So often people wreak havoc on our lives and then when we are sad/recovering want to know why we are sad/recovering and how they can help. Stitching the wound after inflicting it. Grrr.

  39. “There is a general notion that if we go through suffering, tribulations and physical pain then our system will be purified. This idea is not founded upon reality”
    Sorry I couldn’t come up with something original.

  41. School is hard, until you drop out and spend a few years (try 12 in my case) doing absolute shit labor for absolute shit wages. Then you sell a kidney on ebay to go back to school and realize that college is fucking HEAVEN. We all get dumped, stomped and shit on-broken hearted. It passes, eventually, and it never hurts that bad again. And as someone who has spent 2 decades with suicide shrapnel wounds let me tell you this: 20 years later, they’re still dead. How many decades of your life will you allow their death to traumatize you? Love yourself, love the fact that you’re alive, mourn those you’ve lost (dead and alive) and go out and get your new life. Make goals and tell other people about them – that makes you go after them. Live like you’re happy, and eventually you will be again. Don’t lose decades to self pity and shock and sorrow. Move on.

  44. *ahem*

    Again, seriously. You emo drama queen, get a fucking life. Get a grip. Being a bipolar whinestain is not attractive, not appealing, and definitely doesn’t look good on you. Change the diaper. Change your emotastic reality. And stop passive-aggressiving your friends and loved ones, ok?

    Otherwise, I believe I can speak for many, many people by saying, Go Cry, Emo Kid. And stop ejaculating tears already.

  45. Totally get it Anon,

    I have been battling several chronic illnesses for 40, (that’s right 40, not 4) fucking years. So, when some fuckwad starts whining to me about the terrible cold that he/she had for 1 whole week, I express brief polite sympathy.
    However, what I really want to do is run over them, repeatedly, with a very large truck.

    Sometimes we all fuck up. Sometimes we just get hit with a lot of bad luck beyond our control. You have every right to be depressed and every right to vent. Keep venting at places like this in cyberspace, in a journal, to whatever psychotherapy type is supposed to be helping you through this etc. It is also o.k. to tell your self-absorbed, empathy free, college acquaintences to shut up and fuck off because you will never have see them again after college. However, don’t succumb to permanent bitterness. It will poison your life.

    A little trick I use when someone I don’t give a shit about tries to unload on me is to say, “Welcome to my world.” Ha, ha. That confuses them and they shuffle off to bother someone else.

    Good luck to you. Things will get better.

  46. I liked the “smelly bar patron” one better. I think we could use a little less whininess and a little more telling-people-that-they-smell-like-a-foot-ness in I Anon.

  48. I haven’t read all the comments, and I don’t know if this has been suggested, or if you’ll find it, but get down to your colleges student representative (whatever they may call him/her) and tell them whats going on. And get proof of it. You should be able to get those low marks taken off your record, or at least amended so you don’t flunk out, and you can continue going to college or take a break and come back.

    I have no idea how to help with anything else. I wish you good luck.

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