To all you sugar-free, dairy-free, wheat-free fake celiacs from South Beach, please stop coming to my cafe. I know it’s trendy in Seattle to be healthy, and even trendier to be gluten-free, but don’t come to a fucking sandwich and crepe shop and
expect us to have multiple options for you. When I ask, “Are you allergic or are you wheat-free by choice?” don’t be a smart-ass and ask me, “Does it matter?” YES, IT FUCKING MATTERS! YOU CAN DIE! We had one customer who carried an EpiPen around with him, he was that allergic to wheat. It was a pain in the ass trying to find something for him to eat, but he’s lived with the allergy all his life and was not even half as entitled and narcissistic as all you health freaks. I’m sorry our crepes are made out of flour and our wheat bread is full of wheat, but I don’t know what you were expecting. Also, stop giving me shitty tips because we don’t have anything that works for your self-inflicted diet. I’m just a fucking waitress and have no control over the menu. Go find a PCC. The employees there are better trained to deal with your bullshit.
I, Anonymous
WARNING: WHEAT MAY CONTAIN WHEAT
Comments are closed.
Umm, I think the point that Anonymous was trying to make is that, maybe,if you have a wheat intolerance, whether or not that is coeliac, a sandwich shop isnt a great first-choice food stop?
Its a bit like looking for a diabetic lunch in a candy store. Perhaps, just perhaps, one should try the ‘easier’ options? Including those shops likely to have gluten free food? Or with a sign suggesting that gluten free bread is available?
And having a faddish ‘gluten intolerance’ instead of the real deal, and then going to a sandwich shop and demanding gluten free is bound to raise some hackles. It belittles those for whom gluten is a life threatening deal. A little common sense would solve the problem- if you cant eat gluten, dont go to a sandwich shop. There. problem solved.
Common sense ain’t so common. Especially around here. As some pointed out, the I Anon was talking about people who have self-imposed dietary restrictions and expect EVERY restaurant to cater to their every whim. You go into a common hash house and expect them to have eggs from free-range chickens fed an organic, antibiotic free vegan feed? Get the fuck outta here! MOST restaurants have white, wheat, rye, sourdough for your bread choices. All of them include wheat, which contains wheat gluten. Gluten-free products are expensive, and your every-day joint isn’t going to splurge that kind of cash just in case you sashay through the door. Smart restaurants that have specialized products ADVERTISE THE FACT, usually in the menu, because they know those conscious of their dietary choices will appreciate that. But you do not go to Denny’s and ask for fried free-range chicken with organic french fries and gluten-free toast. It’s common sense, which is lost on most pretentious foodies around here. And picky douches who want to nit-pick every preparation detail of their meal? FUCKING EAT AT HOME!!!!
Now, IF YOU HAVE ALLERGIES: Well, first you avoid places full of potential allergens. Gluten/wheat allergy? Avoid bakeries and sandwich shops (unless you know they have alternative types of bread/flour). Dairy? Don’t go to fucking Dairy Queen. But, it is VERY important to ask common questions such as ‘do you use peanut oil’…’does this product contain/made with dairy?’…and restaurants should also educate their staff on the basics of allergens in the food. I know someone DEATHLY allergic to eggs. She asked for a sandwich with NO MAYO–I’m deathly allergic to eggs. After a couple bites, she felt ill…there was ‘secret sauce’ on the sandwich, which they found out was made with mayo…the idiot behind the counter had no idea mayo was made with EGGS. Or that ‘no mayo’ means in ANY FORM.
As someone who chooses to not eat pork or shellfish, I don’t demand that every dining location cater to me. If they don’t have anything for me, I go somewhere else. If it’s something little, like bacon on a sandwich, I just ask them to not put it on. The only time I get all offended is if they put something I won’t eat in my food without telling me.
Most of our food comes from genetically modified corn, wheat, sugar, you name it. Our bodies simply can’t digest it properly. Thanks, giant industrialized food supply.
Natural selection at work.
@#11, #12 — The best thing is when you find a triple chambered peanut. It’s like a surprise gift from the Earth.
life without shell fish is no life at all.
as far as seattle attitude and posture, fuck you all. you little cunts play life. live the fucker already. and if you can’t afford to tip well, you can’t afford to go out! now where’s my belt? get back over here you little ….
Another celiac here.
Your annoyance at having to deal with people with food problems is far, far less than my annoyance at never being able to eat a donut again, to have to go hungry in meetings when everyone else is snarfing down the free sandwich, to have to ask for something special cooked when I go to someone’s house, and to have to nix restaurant plans because, as I’ve said 30 times, I can’t eat freaking pizza.
I am pretty much in agreement with all of you. What I am astounded by, is all the hate the comments contain. Everything everyone said in response to the I Anonymous article could have just as easily been stated in more thoughtful, kind and compassionate ways. Having said that, I laughed out loud at most of them. Especially the peanut comments. So now, go ahead, let me have it. I love you guys.
I agreed with everything everyone said. But I was appalled at all the hate and anger that came through in the comments. All comments could have been made with civility, compassion and kindness and still conveyed the intended message. Having said that, I laughed out loud and especially liked the peanut comments toward the beginning. So let me have it now. i love you guys!
I kill carrots for fun. I love to hear them scream when I chop them into pieces and throw them into my stew pot. I am also the coolest badass motherfucker in Seattle, my Dad can kick your Dad’s ass and my penis is huge. So there! muah!
YES!
Preach it!
It’s not that I don’t think everyone has every right to make their own dietary choices, nor am I unsympathetic to those with food allergies… BUT…
If your choices are outside the mainstream- whether that means you won’t eat carbs, have chosen veganism or can’t/won’t eat anything not gluten free/organic/locally sourced/whatever- then you MUST choose your eateries and grocers accordingly and it IS outrageously pretentious and annoying to go to a sandwich shop, crepery or combo of these niches and get huffy because a place that runs on flour can’t offer you a big selection of gluten-free foods… it’s like an observant Jew going to a joint called “The Crab Shack” and getting bent that the menu offers nothing kosher or a strict vegan going to a southern BBQ and asking for tofu and sprouts.
WOW! This country is really going to hell in a handbag! I couldn’t even get halfway through this forum of (cry baby the worlds gotta cater to me FN losers) before wanting to slit my wrists! AMEN to what @24 said.
T.C.
@67: If you can’t read comments on the internet without wanting to kill yourself, maybe just go ahead and make a little extra room for those of us who actually want to be here.
40% of women above the age of 35 self-report an allergy to wheat. The actual allergy rate is below 10%.
Um ok. When I eat wheat and dairy, I don’t die, but I get a severe asthma-like reaction. It’s a real concern for a lot of people, and a healthy choice for others to know what’s in their food.
So sorry other people’s health concerns are such an inconvenience to you while working in a food service industry. Maybe it is you that should be seeking out someplace else… to work. Someplace where you don’t have to deal with the human race. Waste collection perhaps?
Like the writer actually gives a shit if the customer lives or dies. Sure she does.
A lot of you freaking out about the customer service should try being a server in Seattle for a week. You will be astounded by the amount of “allergies” and crazy expectations. And FWIW, usually it’s pretty obvious when people have lived with the allergies for a long time, and are grateful for options that work for them, and those people are not the problem at all.
@70- A person with wheat and dairy problems should not expect a suitable menu at a place that specializes in *sandwiches* and *crepes*, anymore than a “meat and potatoes” type should expect to be able to order a medium rare ribeye and loaded mashed potatoes at a cafe called “The Happy Sprout” that specializes in raw foods or vegan cuisine.
The IA writer is not working at a nice little U-District vegetarian mecca and complaining about people’s dietary habits, s/he is working at a place that RUNS on wheat and dairy.
The vegan/gluten free customers are bound to be disappointed in the menu but should have known that just by the name or signs.
I like to go to Chinese restaurants and demand Mexican food because I’m allergic to Generals.
True statistics:
99% of the people who think they have an allergy don’t really have one.
99% of those people have NO IDEA of the immunologlogical mechanism of an allergic reaction.
I worked in food for 7 years. I know that complying with the wishes of each unique customer’s diet is one of the pains of the job.
But I’ve never understood why people get so offended by a vegan person. I’m the only person in my family to still have my gall bladder and MS runs in my family, so two of my uncles (with MS) are vegan and I’m vegetarian with vegan leanings (can’t have too much dairy without being sick but eggs are fine). I know some vegans can be entitled flakes, but the majority of vegans assume no one is going to cater to them and eat 90% of meals at home.
What’s fucked up is when I go to in-laws and they spend the whole week of Christmas (or whatever) bitching about how my being vegan (and making my own food etc) somehow ruins their pig barbecue. I’m NOT one of those people who tries to “convert.” It’s a health thing. I don’t want MS and I don’t want to go through gall stones that almost killed my sister and led to a hospital stay for my mom.
I think, though, that I shouldn’t have to justify my diet to someone. People can ask questions about where things come from or what’s in the food they’re about to eat, right? At least, more people should.
@70, I hope you don’t reproduce, people like you are fucking up natural selection because of all the ridiculous support you’re given. The weak and stupid should just die off, not be coddled.
There should be a website listing places, and meals at places, that are safe for people that can’t eat wheat. I’m on it.
So, in essence, what we have here, is a “failure to communicate”. I repeat, a “failure to communicate”.
Lucky I didn’t say anything about the dirty knife…
after reading all this I want a triple decker bacon cheese burger ,with deep fried bacon , tillamook cheese , and a bakery fresh bun “whole wheat” bun. and if you put any vewggies on it I will kick the shit out of you ! oh yeah and hand dipped and “breaded” onion rings . WOOT !
I’m not *allergic* to gluten, but I am sensitive to it. I can have a doughnut every once in a while, and if a little regular flour slips into the mix, I’m not going to die.
But if I have some that I’m not expecting, I may have to call in sick to work the next day, cause I can’t go more than ten feet from the toilet. So, yeah, I’m going to ask if you have any gluten-free options. But I’m also not going to go into a sammich/crepe place unless I know they’ve got something for me.
Point is: yeah, I know I don’t have a true allergy. But there’s a lot of in-between in terms of sensitivites.
You guys are so MAD! It cracks me up. Anyway, There MAY be a few insufferables out there who look down their noses at us omnivores. And that’s rude and “sophomoric” (the actual time a lot of vegans sprout on the scene, perhaps you know one of these radicalized eaters, or have one of them coming home for the holidays who became one over fall semester). Now is the time for you to take the high road and set a stellar example of how to respect others eating habits. Then chow down on your juicy Rib Eye (oh God! I want one right now!) and be thankful YOU can enjoy those teeth of yours to the fullest extent. I don’t believe anyone should commit murder or suicide over this issue. I have a lot of vegan friends and I like them. They have rosy cheeks and they are nice. And they eat really well. I have friends with allergies to wheat and in some, it is clear that they get sick or wheeze when they accidently eat wheat. I once fed another parent’s child a few crackers and he started to cough and had to miss school. I felt so bad for the little guy, but, my friend was sincerely gracious about it. Since then, I just take everyone on their word and try to protect their health. If they aren’t allergic, then either they THINK they are or they have a screw loose. Both are not really BAD things. And as a food server, I KNOW you care about the food you serve and you take your job seriously and want to do it right. But I think everyone here knows that waiting tables is at the top or near top of the list of stressful jobs. So, getting this rattled and angry only adds to your stressful job. I would say, it is dangerous for you to get this upset and stressed out over other peoples taxing behavior at your job site. It is adding cortisol, a dangerous substance to your system, and now YOU won’t be able to enjoy your Rib Eye. I would hate to see that.
When I eat bacon I turn into a super hero, so if I ask you if there is bacon in the salad I am really trying to protect you from evil. Now bacon up my salad please!!!
Dr. J
ok i hear yo loud and clear Sir or Ma’am =)
“Do you think anybody in Ethiopia is lactose intollerant” – Chris Rock
And where is the love for the greatest nut of all – I’m looking at you pistachio.
@24 Fuck off.
Or, wait, maybe people didn’t say that when you were growing up, or you didn’t hear them say it, so you can’t understand it or don’t believe in it? Try this:
Ride to the hospital with your two-year-old son who’s just starting to breathe freely again after the massive dose of epinephrine the paramedics pumped into his system to treat the anaphylactic shock from having eaten a single peanut, and you can talk.
People with actual medical problems are one thing. But places like Seattle are full of hipster-ish affectations, the general philosophy being – if it’s too mainstream, it should be avoided. Vegans and faux-celiacs who wave their preferences in your face like cheap perfume are just fucking annoying. If you just wanna eat sidewalk chalk that’s fine, just do it and don’t bother me with it.
That said, you should stick to fruits and vegetables anyway. Muffins and Cupcakes are fat-n-sugar bombs.
It’s not the allergies that bother people, it’s the attitude. If the customer says;
“Sorry, I just wanted to ask before we were seated, do you have any-wheat free options? It’s just that I get really sick if I eat even a little bit of wheat, I’m not trying to be a pain, or anything! *smile*”
as opposed to waiting for everyone else to order and then accusing “um…it doesn’t look like you have any wheat free option. Are you telling me you don’t carry soy bread?!? Well I DO NOT EAT WHEAT, so what do you suggest I do?!?! Sorry guys, we have to go, these douchebags want me to eat wheat and die. *shoots waiter a death glare*”
It’s the self important attitude everyone hates, not the allergy. I have an allergy to raw mangoes/papayas (the anaphylactic throat closing legit allergy), and people always LEAVE IT OFF THE MENU. I have to specifically ask if there is mango in any smoothies, salad, or dessert, but I’m never a heinous bitch about it.
Very nice. I had to go gluten-free and soy-free due to allergies, and the by-choice crowd are always worse than those that can’t even help it. I managed a sub shop while gluten-free and didn’t even tell my customers, much less force my boss to carry food I could eat.
Carry your own food and don’t force your morals on everyone else….that goes for vegans, freegans, ‘anything with a face’, low-carbers, whatever.
@ 86: I don’t know if anyone in Ethiopia is lactose intolerant, but Asia is FULL of lactose-intolerant people. The ability of human adults to digest lactose is relatively recent, evolutionarily speaking, and is only found in some regions of the world.
So true. So fucking true, it brings a tear to my eye. What is with the people who get all accusatory about it? It’s not my fault non-vegan food exists in the world. I cannot psychically sense soy in foods I don’t have ingredient lists for. I’m only getting paid nine dollars an hour, and it is not enough to put up with those people.
And it’s never the people with a serious medical condition. People with epi-pens in their pockets always seem to be really nice about it. Funny, that.
Does it matter whether you are wheat free by choice or have an allergy? Sure it matters — to the person with the allergy. Perhaps a better response would be, Is it any of your fucking business?
I’m not allergic, I’m not going to die, but it turns out avoiding wheat is one of the few things that keeps me from having horribly painful acid reflux much of the time. I went to many practitioners — traditional western and otherwise, before finding what works. As a side effect, it also turns out that a wheat free diet is one way to manage my depression without the side effects of medication.
But I don’t necessarily want to explain all of this to a cranky waitress who thinks it is her job to determine whether my diet is justified. And you can be sure that most of the people whom you dismiss as trendy and stupid — for no reason other than YOU don’t know why they are wheat free — have some story for how they came to be so, that they really don’t feel like offering up for your approval.
I’m going to have to disagree with the OP as well as all the self-righteous asshole hipsters in the comments who seem to think that people with allergies are the self-righteous asshole hipsters. If someone asks you what’s in your food, and you’re in food service, you tell them the truth. You don’t ask if they will die and then lie to them if they say no. What the crap is the point of lying to them? Just because it’s fun? Or because you’re clearly an awesome real truly hip individual and they must be an asshole hipster? I totally agree that when someone asks if something’s in food, and a waiter asks “Well will you die if it’s in it?” then that waiter is a total douche nozzle. It doesn’t matter if I’m going to die or not, you shouldn’t be lying about what you’re serving people.
Also, I’m wondering how all you food service folk who are sticking it to the “fake” hipsters can tell who’s actually allergic and who’s not. I’m guessing none of them actually tell you that they’re “pretending to be allergic because it’s cool”, so how exactly can you tell? The haircut? The brand of cellphone? Really, I need to know how all you medical geniuses are able to tell whose food you should be able to spike with potentially deadly allergens against their wishes and whose you shouldn’t.
I can sympathize with I, Anon here, but I’m with @24 when it comes to @8. What an asshat.
Also, @86, about that quote..
“Do you think anybody in Ethiopia is lactose intollerant” – Chris Rock
Holy fucking hell what a stupid thought!
It took me about a minute on ol’ Google to find these here quotes:
Milk intolerance, lactose intolerance and non-ulcer dyspepsia are common among Ethiopians.
&
The incidence of lactose malabsorption amongst Ethiopian children was found to be 80%, being 61.5% in the under 1 year age group and 89.7% in the older children (7–13 years).
Oh fuck, I said “I’m with @24” when I meant “I’m with @41“…
Nobody has mentioned the elegant almond!
Also, I get annoyed when MD’s say old people can’t eat salt. The eggs always need some salt!
WE WERE BORN FROM SALT! eatsalt.
“Are you alergic or wheat-free by choice?”
This is the waitress’s way of saying “If you don’t claim an allergy, we won’t be too careful about lying to you about food content.”
Geez. I’m vegetarian, for religious reasons. I don’t criticise people for not having a veggie option. BUT DO NOT FUCKING LIE TO ME JUST BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE AN ALLERGY AND THEREFORE YOU THINK IT DOESN’T MATTER.
I feel better now.
Better diagnosing explains increased in allergies, also increased pollutants in the environment and shit processed food our kids are eating today has resulted in higher numbers of allergies. Don’t think one can blame people for trying to eat healthier, but I do feel for the wait staff who have to put up with the whiners. Then again, remember in NA, servers generally get paid an extra 15% in form of tip, for no real reason other than local tradition – maybe it would help to think of that tip next time – oh yeah, and BREATH…
Dear people with wheat and other dangerous food allergies:
You are allergic because you are unfit to live. Nature is trying to improve the human race by killing you sad shits off. You are not wanted by man or God.
It’s up to your sorry, sad asses to feed yourself. Don’t go into a bakery and whine about the lack of styrofoam options for you to eat. Don’t piss about your unwelcome child’s peanut allergies or their inability to process sugar or air or love or whatever. Read Darwin and you’ll get a better idea of your place in the pecking order. Accept your fate and sit down to a big serving of your worst fears.
And when you’re gone I’ll park in the space your “Green” SUV currently occupies.
this is great!
Why don’t you just answer the question, take the order, and DO YOUR JOB? The person ordering doesn’t give a shit what you think of their “trendy” food allergy, they just want to eat and you happen to be the bratty person serving them. You sound like an entitled little baby. That person is paying for their food (and part of your paycheck) and they should get what they want with or without your meaningless validation. Is this the worst thing you have to complain about? Just be glad you have a job, it could be much worse. . .
I tip in accordance to the kindness and attentiveness of my server. If they can’t care enough about me for the few minutes it takes to take my order and answer questions that will help me get the food I want to purchase, then I have a hard time caring enough about them to see to it that they get enough money to pay their bills this month.
It’s pretty simple… If you are in a service industry, it doesn’t make sense to get so pissy when someone expects… I dunno… *service*.
If you don’t want to deal with the special needs of your customer, there is always someone else who will… and that is money out of YOUR pocket. Something to think about before you roll your eyes at that next customer who may or may not be a celiac.
Diagnosing them is their doctor’s job. Taking their ORDER is yours.