We have been friends for 20 years. You have stood by me through the most intense and fucked-up experiences of my life. However, now that you are in school and teaching yoga and sitting on a really high fucking horse, you seem to have forgotten. Did you forget that you were shooting me up with speedballs when I was 14 and you were 20? Did you forget about the porn that you made of me getting fucked by you with a 40 of St. Ides for your pedophile sugar daddy when I was 14? Fuck you. Fuck you telling me to get my life together. Fuck you being in my life. You have been my best friend. But truly, you have been one of the worst, most despicable, hypocritical humans in my life. Fuck sharing our sisterhood journeys. You are no better than the men you swear “fucked me up.” Who shoots up a 14-year-old girl with a speedball and films porn to give to a convicted pedophile? YOU. How dare you pull holier-than-thou sanctimonious trips on me. You are NOT a good person!

—Anonymous

62 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. That’s right. Someone else’s hypocrisy is the best reason not to get your shit together. You’re a VICTIM! How dare anyone suggest otherwise!

  5. wow. shocked and saddened. you don’t need the yoga instructor in your life, no matter. move on and stay far away. oh, and get your shit together. you will be happier

  11. “you have stood by me through the most intense and fucked-up experiences of my life.”

    Stood by you, or led you toward?

  13. i read this not as, “she didn’t have her shit together & therefore was mad at her ‘friend'”; but rather that she was pissed that her friend had violated & abused her & was now judging her for not doing as well. And for taking no responsibility for the abuse. i also read that there were other, traumatic events in this girls life.
    If this were a man doing the same to a woman, noone would be calling her a hypocrite. I hope. Fucked up, obviously. But i don’t get the hypocrisy accusation. Oh! And i smell real. Too much simplified anger to not be. A fake would embellish & tell a great story. This is just sad.

  15. If this is true, it’s really sad, and I hope you find the strength to get your life together. That said, I don’t see anything in your statement indicating that the person you’re angry with has ever shown an inclination to do the right thing so this really shouldn’t be a surprise.

  17. Um, your much older “friend” victimized you for the pleasure of her boyfriend and now you’re surprised she has an alternate view of reality now that she’s a yoga instructor? Newsflash: She’s not your friend, she never, ever, ever, ever was.

    Run screaming in the other direction.

  19. I agree with #17. She never was your friend, and the fact that she doesn’t recognize she did anything wrong means she doesn’t have her shit together either. As for getting your shit together, you need to start by learning how to choose your friends more wisely.

  21. The IA is simply JELOUS that her ex-friend, the one she willingly got fucked up with, straightened her life out. The IA is still fucked up and fucking up, and is spiteful that her ex-friend is doing so well, while she – the IA – is still pumping dope into her veins and whoreing around for money.

    It’s that simple. The IA needs to pull her head out of her ass.

  22. Wow. Imagine not knowing enough to stay away from an older person with drugs who was sexually active at 14. How weird. I mean, I know that I never did anything dumb at that age. I was NEVER pressured or perssuaded to do anything at that age. I had my shit together! And even if I had done something questionable while high like making porn for a pedophile, I’m sure I’d bounce right back from it. I’m certain I woulnt spend the years afterwards trying to forget with the aid of more drugs or justify the event as “ok” just so I could rationalize my abuse.

    This is me using the language of sarcasm. Apparently that’s how people speak all the time to each other. Is apathy and sarcasm so prevalent in our culture that it’s completely killed our compassion?

  24. I think the IA should have this little story to Dan Savage. She might have got more sympathy.

    As it is, the facts are she fully bought into her little fucked up life, and probably quite enjoyed it at the time, nowhere does she say she objected to it and was somehow enslaved to the crank pushing 40 ounce swilling friend.

    It sounds very much like she was an EQUAL PARTNER in the debauchery. Seriously. What a bitch.

    Bottom line: her drug / sex buddy got reality and straightened out her life, while the IA continued to live her life like a little whore.

    Now she’s JEALOUS because her former ho partner has moved on and is living the good life, while she is still mainlining crank and paying for it by fucking random men on Aurora Ave.

    She needs help. Maybe she should ask he friend, who told her honestly to STRAIGHTEN HER LIFE OUT.

  27. The concluding point here, that her friend is not a good person, seems valid. Well, unless she has yogaed and educated her way into goodness. But does this transformation a) forgive all past sins or must she b) live with them forever. If you answered b you would be correct. That’s because she has left sweetness and her juicy secrets in her wake. Oops. The things they did together when IA was 14 will haunt her forever, as long as a resentful, angry IA lives. This is just the beginning, I predict. Jamming that 40 up her cooch and hitting her with the speedballs, that’s some stuff her new friends in her new life will have a hard time accepting.

  28. Just because you’re related to someone doesn’t obligate you to keep them in your life. Especially when you’ve been abused on so many levels.

    Give yourself permission to shut this person out of your life.

  30. Angsty whiny crap?

    Check.

    30+ ensuing comments of mostly angsty whiny crap?

    Check.

    The one or two people who see it for what it is being totally ignored?

    Check.

    Well done, Seattlites. Your reputation for being the “self-absorbed, passive-aggressive, and completely out of touch with reality” capital of the world is intact.

  31. Holy deep bore tunnel sized snatch ! How in the hell does a fourteen year old or even a forty four year old fit a forty ounce size anything in their pussy ? and you thought that was alright ? speedballs must absolutely fuck up whatever brains you might have had. A fucking forty oz. cuntainer, holy fucking shit !

  32. Get therapy. Seriously.
    Also LOL at all the people deciding getting raped* at 14 somehow indicates being a “little whore.”

    *Yeah, an adult fucking a 14 year old, particularly on camera in the service of a kiddie fucker, is rape. It’s also manufacturing and distributing child pornography (also rape)! Doesn’t really matter how into it the pubescent child may or may not have been. Kids can’t consent – that’s why statutory rape laws exist and kiddie porn is illegal!

    Get therapy, possibly press charges.

  34. I, too, agree with #17. Well said!

    At least anon can choose her friends: she can’t choose family members. I have an older sister who is a direct cross between Queen Elizabeth II and Mother Theresa. I’m not bitching or bitter here, but just saying: for over thirty-five years my older sister played Lady of the Manor, gleefully persecuting me every chance she got, living a shamefully spendthrift lifestyle because she got away with it. Now she’s had to file for bankruptcy, but is bitching ME out for actually inheriting something lovingly passed on from our parents.
    She has played the ridiculous pretend game of “I am a Princess / Only Child, therefore I should inherit everything because I am SUCH a Victim” since the age of five.

    And she wonders why I choose not to waste any further time with her, or her arrogant asshole husband or impossibly spoiled rotten doofus son.

    I have had to establish healthier boundaries and simply move on. Tip: living in seperate counties helps.
    Okay. I’m said a mouthful—I’m done.

  36. Folks, pull your heads out of your asses.

    The “sisterhood” bullshit is a metaphor, nowhere does the whiny loser say the target of her bitching was actually her biological sister…

    Again, here’s the deal: IA is pissed off that her former drug / sex partner-in-crime has “got a life” and straightened up, and left the IA behind to continue whoring around for drugs.

    “Sister” got straight and clean and IA didn’t.

    It’s called JEALOUSY.

  38. I meant charges against your ‘friend’. She and her boyfriend, they’re BOTH pedophiles, and both have major charges to answer for here. If there’s a video, there’s evidence. I don’t know what the other commentor’s problems are, but your friend has not straightened herself out, isn’t anything to be jealous of, and needs to be in jail with all the other criminals before she screws up some other kid’s life.

    And jeez, what would it take for The Stranger to pull the plug on a comment thread? Or at least post an editor note, or somthing? Hello? Anyone home?

  39. I meant charges against your ‘friend’. She and her boyfriend, they’re BOTH pedophiles, and both have major charges to answer for here. If there’s a video, there’s evidence. I don’t know what the other commentor’s problems are, but your friend has not straightened herself out, isn’t anything to be jealous of, and needs to be in jail with all the other criminals before she screws up some other kid’s life.

    And jeez, what would it take for The Stranger to pull the plug on a comment thread? Or at least post an editor note, or somthing? Hello? Anyone home?

  40. @ Arthur Zifferelli: The LW was 14 while the target of her anger was 20 at the time of the injected speedballs and child porn incidents. There are laws about age of consent for a reason. The two were not equally culpable in the debauchery.

  41. Good grief, is EVERYONE in Seattle a whiny VICTIM? Apparently so.

    Rather than take responsibility for her life, the IA takes the whiny victim way out, and all of The Stranger’s pathetic readers take the bait.

    God forbid the IA should, you know, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for her life and the choices SHE made, and move on and get better – LIKE HER FORMER ASSOCIATE…

    That’s right, VICTIMS, always blame someone else, NEVER take personal responsibility and better yourself…

    You people are sad fuckers indeed.

  42. You sound like such a winner, Arthur. We have no idea how much responsibility the AI is taking – a single paragraph venting her frustrations doesn’t tell us anything about her or how she’s handling her situation now, except that she’s frustrated and sad for perfectly legit reasons.
    Considering you seem to think you know so many intimate details about her, and you deride and insult her every time you post – it’s almost like you’re personally invested in how she proceeds (or doesn’t) with this!
    And FYI, shutting up and pretending nothing bad ever happened to her is NOT moving on or taking responsibility. If she wants to do that, she should press charges and get therapy. But I have a feeling that isn’t the outcome you’d like to see.

  43. Anon: Yes, she fucked you over. Yes, it was pretty fucked up any way you look at it. And yes, it took a lot of damn gall to try to call you to the carpet the way she ever so sanctimoniously did.

    None of that matters. Not at all.

    The only thing that matters at this point is what course of action you decide to take. I’m afraid the statutes have long since run out in any criminal proceedings, due to the 20 years comment.
    You have been drugged and sexually violated, and attached to an unhealthy relationship for years. When was the last time you truly felt in control of your life? Have you ever felt that way, and does the idea appeal to you or frighten you?
    It will take time, and it will take effort to get your life and mind completely in your own hands. A good counselor is vital, as well as a lot of willpower. But that may become easier when you consider: you’ve invested 20 years in things that didn’t work and have left you hurting. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life doing the same?

  44. She knew her for 20 years, it could have been 6 years since the events occured. Statute of limitiations could still be good.

  46. another weak seattlite not taking responsibility for their own decisions. I, anonymous is just an excuse for the passive aggressive weaklings of seattle to bitch rather than take responsibility and move on.

  49. I am her brother. You’re right, she’s a whore & a junkie. A college educated, multiple trauma “victim”, single mother, job working “victim”. She has endured shit that none of you would wish upon your children. And she gets angry at someone who abused her? And you accuse my sister of being a junkie whore? Bad People. Thank you to those who were kind & compassionate. And i am scared for my family that creatures like Arthur exist. Please, know that she is a good woman. And your comments have deeply hurt her. Peace?

  50. @44 & 45
    Given the complicated nature of what happened to her – a horrifying mixed bag of very serious felonies – I really wouldn’t count on the statute of limitations having run out on all of it without first talking to an attorney. Even if she can’t press charges, active pedophiles don’t tend to suddenly become inactive, upstanding citizens. Regardless, the authorities would be interested in these people whether she can bring a case against them herself or not.

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