You are pretty. I am jealous. Most of us grow up watching fairy
tales on TV or reading them in books and seeing the ads glorifying what
a woman should look like. Then one day we fucking realize that we are
never going to be that prince or princess. Our bodies won’t allow it.
And it’s heartbreaking. Then we have to pick ourselves back up and face
who we are, and learn to love who we are despite what our culture
glorifies. And then you walk in with everything handed to you
based merely on your appearance. You hardly have to lift a
finger—let alone develop an interesting personality—to get
by. It makes me sick. YOU make me sick. I have no doubts that you have
your insecurities; in fact, you may have more than some. I’m sure that
you have heard the words “very pretty, but not very bright” whispered
more than once. I almost wish I could have heard that myself. I will
console myself with the fact that you are an intellectual vacuum. recommended

120 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. Be glad for health. Or having food. Or an education. Some people have close to nothing. In the time you take being jealous you could do something interesting like volunteer, learn how to sew, or just shut the poop up. Something like that.

  2. “Pretty girls can’t be smart, smart girls can’t be funny, etc, etc and blah-de-fucking blah.”

    YOU, missie, defy the stereotype about, ” … yeah but she has a great personality.”

    You are a petty whiner consumed by jealousy and I’m glad I don’t know you.

  5. Maybe she had it handed to her because she wasn’t a bitch? Grow up and learn to be more civil and respectful towards beautiful women. Just because we look good, doesn’t mean we dumb – bitch.

  6. I feel real old reading this column and it’s resplendent comments. After reading many of the archived ones, it seems people want and love a quality IA yet many of those who comment seem to be much more capable and insightful… Perhaps some of us could submit more, no? If at least for one another’s entertainment? Take your choice of deadly sin and wrap it in a quick glimpse, a two paragraph character study? C’mon folks, you can do better – like Obama says, get involved…
    alright I’ll GTFO now

  9. Woof! That is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever read. You need to to get a set of eggs girl! Either that or go ahead and eat the barrel and save us all from having to put up with that sort of horseshit.

  10. Oh… wait a minute, your a Troll! Not a troll as in an ugly ogre, but a threadline to get everybody all worked up and commenting. Still the most pathetic thing I’ve ever read, but now for its desperation.

  11. I used to be really good looking, and my personality wasn’t important; I had none anyway. And then I got older, fatter and bald. I still have no personallity, so I’m fucked. Deal with it.

    Waaaah, Waaaah, Waaaah !

  13. Wow, there seems to be quite a bit of anger directed at the writer of I, Anonymous this week. I don’t really understand how this would get everyone so upset. The author is neither personality perfect or a jealous trolling bitch. I don’t understand how all of you can feel that it’s ok to get pissed off at what she’s saying–it’s true, and insulting the author isn’t going to make it go away. It doesn’t make her petty to think these things, because these things are real. All of you motherfuckers are way more shallow than any amount of righteous jealously. Fuck you.

  14. If it pisses this woman off that this woman she writes about is boring and not very bright, but has an easier life because she’s beautiful, well it just shows that the writer has failed to reject society’s message that physical beauty is more important than personality or intellect. If she didn’t buy into that, then it wouldn’t bother her. I don’t buy into it, and as far as I’m concerned, dull supermodel types are people too and deserve kindness just like anyone else. And they also deserve our sympathy that they haven’t had the opportunity to develop their personalities. I’m pretty good looking. And I admit, the slightly better treatment I get is nice, but I don’t think I’d choose to look any better than I do, if I could.

  16. It is okay to criticize the author. He/she could have easily criticized the people who favor said “pretty” person, but he/she didn’t.

  17. hmm… that’s odd. my comment was deleted..
    Anyway, I like it that articles on the stranger have been opened up for comments, but I think it weakens this column.

    I’m a reader from Australia, and one thing I’ve noticed about you Americans is that you get angry when anyone expresses any negative sentiment. It’s part of the whole humourlessness that you folks are sometimes accused of. But that’s the whole point of I anonymous. People anonyomously tell their real feelings and it’s refreshing for us to read someone really telling the truth. And it’s only because it’s anonymous that they feel they can let thier ugly true feelings show. It’s absurd of us to preach to this girl about why her negativity is negative, because that’s the whole point of this column. It’s taboo to be hateful, angry or bitter in this society, so we let it show when we write to I anonymous, and if you read it it’s because you, like me, find it refresshing and funny to read someone actually telling the unsanitised unpalatable truth about how they really fee.

  18. I don’t believe your nice, hot friend has to go with douchebags just because hot guys are not interested. She is just not doing her part to show interest back when she meets a hot guy.
    The thing about men (who are mostly douchebags, and I’m a man) is that they mostly think they are hotter than they are, and are raised by a society of asshole gym coach role modelers that you won’t know if someone is not interested until you really try. So most men will take anything less than open hostility as encouragement. And apparently your friend is not that choosy.
    If she wanted to trade up, she probably could pretty easily.

  19. Yeah, but screw you guys, she’s right: “And then you walk in with everything handed to you based merely on your appearance. You hardly have to lift a finger—let alone develop an interesting personality—to get by.” These sorts of hiring practices are all over the workplace. Hot is the main thing I look for in a pornstar, model or fuck, but not in the fucking workplace, or in choice of reporters, or even in bars and restaurants, jobs where pretty, vapid girls can pay through school easy while the rest of us sweat it out. Nothing against hot. Against unfair, discriminatory practices.

  20. “they mostly think they are hotter than they are, and are raised by a society of asshole gym coach role modelers that you won’t know if someone is not interested until you really try. So most men will take anything less than open hostility as encouragement.”

    TC, you described this phenomenon so well. I’m going to hang onto this quote. Thank you

  21. Stupid hot girls don’t get things handed to them. They get used.

    Hot girls smart enough not to show all their cards, smart enough to entice somebody without leading them on, they do get things handed to them.

    Meanwhile, they’re also smart enough to alienate the whiny bitches. Too bad that (supposedly) “dumb” hotty is WAY smarter than you are, fatty.

  23. I have to sympathize. I’ve seen people who aren’t talented or very bright get things handed to them just because they’re hot. I’m not sure why so many don’t think this girl has a right to be irritated. Maybe she hit a sore spot.

  24. weak entry. Fair enough, it does suck that beautiful people seem to get better treatment everywhere but jeez don’t give them even more ammo against your insecure litle self. the post was rather… pathetic.

  25. It’s a subtle form of class warfare. The haves and the have nots. That being said, there are some things under your control. ( diet, excersise) If you don’t like what you see when you look in the mirror. Then do something about it.
    As far as the getting by on looks thing. Go get em tiger.

  26. Based on your genetics, and first decade of upbringing, you enter the scene with the hand you are dealt. If your assets are strong on looks, you learn how to play to that strength. You got smarts? you get ahead by using your brain. Got both? You are likely to be successful.
    Got neither? Here’s where there is variability and lots of options. Some go to the gym and make improvements, some seek companionship with someone with similar attributes, and build a happy life. And for those hapless genetically challenged kids who were brought up in a bitter, hostile environment, deficient in adaptability, there is always I Anonymous to vent your frustration.
    Hey, we each of us come into this game with a different hand, and we simply play our cards.

  27. Word. I can’t help but think that the author is both ugly AND as intellectually and personality deficient as the girl she is writing about. Maybe the girl won’t be pretty forever, but she’s not likely to an ungrateful wretch either. The author should move to India if she really wants to find out how the ugly people live.

  28. “She dates total duechebags, because those are the only guys who have the courage (or whatever) to ask her out.”

    I takes work to find a good person. Apparently your friend feels it is not worth the effort to find one.

  29. Dear Ugly,

    I was beautiful once. Now I’m old and wrinkled and fat.

    You have no idea the heartbreak you avoided by not bieng beautiful for a time.

    …plus that bitch could develop psoriasis or lose a limb on any day so smile.

    Yours,

    Ugly On The Inside Too

  31. Not funny. Girls having acid thrown in their faces for the “crime” of going to school, and getting married off against their wills at less than ten years of age is *nothing to joke about*. I can take irreverent humor pretty far, but horrific, life-altering, physical abuse of innocent, powerless people is not funny.

  32. Seriously? Acid attack? You’d justify an acid attack on someone simply because they were prettier than you?

    Don’t even joke about that shiz.

  33. I feel ugly all the time but everyone tells me how beautiful I am. I don’t think it has anything to do with what you look like, and everything to do with the less shallow beauties of life. So stop worrying about how hard it is to look at the pretty girl and start finding beauty that actually makes you feel happy.

  35. and one more thing!
    Maybe this girl has to work really hard to look like she does. Most celebrities, except for maybe Liv Tyler, work at their beauty every single day for hours, with diet, excersize, they even do face excersizes to avoid wrinkles.
    And plastic surgery of course.
    So appreciate her drive, pity how she spends her time, or get on the treadmill next to her.

  36. Beauty isn’t the enemy.
    We should be happy that there are beautiful things to look at in this world. We should express ourselves when we see a beautiful person, flower, peice of art. It is sad that we live in a world where we are made to fear beauty and the power it has over us. Why not walk up to her and tell her how beautiful she is? Or take your inspirational feelings home and write a poem. What is appealing to us is a gift. Would you rather look at wretched develish things all day? Maybe those who attract you most do so for a reason! Maybe there is a possible romance.

  39. I have to agree with Trxy. I work my ass off for how i look. And let me tell you in this city, youre treated more as a beast then a beauty for being pretty and takin care of yourself. Seattle is where average is not only acceptable, but more desirable.

  40. Christ, what a loser.

    Hey jackass – most people would still take her pretty and dumb over your ugly and whiny.

    I wonder how you handle it when you run into people who are not only gorgeous, but also smart and charming. Then again, they probably have the good sense to avoid the likes of you.

  42. oh shut up, commentor fucks, you know you hate people that are hotter than you too. at least this bitch can admit her insecurities. anonymously, of course. haha!

  43. Hey, Babe, spoken like a true ugly person. When I’m bald and 50 I’ll still be rich, so I’ll be banging all sorts of strange.

  44. What’s with this string of lame I, Anonymous letters. What happened to people confessing shitty things they did to other people? At least that would be funny and way less pathetic.

  45. I grew up in a non-rich family living in a rich town, and thought, “if only my family had money, I would be happy.” My friends living here without green cards look at US citizens/people with green cards and think “they have it all! Everything is handed to them on a plate!” You can always find something you lack and think, if you just had that one thing, everything would be so easy. I am good looking, and I have *plenty* of problems; being attractive might make *some* things a little easier, but it is not the magic elixir you think it is. Secondly, a big part of “good looks” is style and attitude; my sister and I look alike, but I pay attention to my appearance, and she does not, and everyone considers me “the pretty one,” and my sister the average one. It is not hard to trick people into thinking an average person is good looking. If you are not disabled, you can work out, dress well, get a good hair cut, and walk with confidence, and most people will consider you good looking.

  46. Talibanstyle acid attacks for beautiful women? This is a subect we make light of? Really? Just because YOU are jealous?

    Who writes this shit?

    The writer is apparently ugly, stupid, and utterly without empathy.

    There are plenty of men who really do hurt beautiful women just out of insecurity and fear. I know, I’ve been through it myself. I never got anything out of being beautiful except opportunities to prostitute myself.

    Shut and grow up, ugly girl. No woman in this world has life easy, “beautiful” women least of all. We just have different problems, that’s all, something you’d realize if you had a heart or a grain of sense.

    They must have published this just to make people upset. It’s just venal.

  48. Yes, indeed, I agree with the two more thoughtful comments: Why all this anger?
    Why are we so fucking mad about someone stating their insecurities (albeit aggressively)??
    I’m pretty sure most of us have insecurities, so what gives?
    Further, so many of you yelling about her being ugly and having no personality and hating on her and then ALSO saying that she is stupid to care about her looks? Uhhhh, is it just me that can see the immense mental retardation in this?
    If she’s in a world with fuckwads who will call her ugly and hate her for her jealousy and deem her personality-less, then you’re proving her fucking point.
    Fuck, am I in the world with you fuckwads?! How terrifying.

  49. After deciding that envy and jealousy were useless when it cost me several friends in 7th grade, I stopped feeling this way about other people. What does this get you? Let’s face it, gloating can be fun for a second, but you really should ensure that it’s not your only means of self-confidence. Some people are naturally skinny – I got my family’s sharp mind and shit genetics, which aren’t so bad provided I go to the gym and throw on some makeup now and then. It’s my sharp mind and lack of jealousy that have landed me some great friends, boyfriends and opportunities, if the occasional bad day when I’d like to throw in the towel to my genetics and eat a whole cheese pizza. Take what you have, let go of what you don’t, and remember that life is too fucking short to spend it holding grudges.

  50. Hey Joe Kickass,

    When you’re 50, bald, fat, and I DON’T CARE HOW MANY MILLIONS in pathetic lonely man wealth you acquire, you’re still a pathetic lookist little TURD.
    So when your dick shrivels up like a fleshy pink pickle, do us a favor and crawl under a rock.
    You’re nothing.
    By the way, there are far more of us “fuglies” than hotties out there. AT least I have my health, brains and a personality.
    Good luck bedding all the Made By Mattel sluts after your money.

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