I am a 25-year-old gay man. Although I have always accepted my homosexuality and never really felt bad about it, recently I have been going through a hard time psychologically because I’m exposing myself to very graphic homophobic online content. There are blogs, online groups, and websites that cater to gay men who like to be abused and degraded by “straight” men. Some people write extensively about how all gay rights should be rolled back.
I am very disturbed because I am actually aroused by content that shows supposedly straight men degrading gay men. I always come away feeling disturbed, insecure, and unhappy. But when I’m horny, I go right back. The worst feeling comes from knowing that a lot of those people don’t seem to recognize it as just a fantasy, but instead believe in the homophobic views they express.
I was never disturbed by BDSM-type fantasies or BDSM porn, as it never seemed to be related to homophobia at all. But this type of dom/sub thing is very disturbing, as people don’t seem to be “just playing” and it is playing with a real-world violent and powerful hate ideology. Is it okay for me to just view this as another harmless fantasy or is this something I need to control or get help dealing with? Secondly, are the people who contribute, participate in, and produce such gay-bashing sexualized content just indulging in a version of acceptable BDSM/kink or is it dangerous to use a prevalent hate ideology in sex play?
Not An Inferior Faggot
P.S. Examples of these websites: faggot4ever.tumblr.com, obeythestraightman.tumblr.com, and tribes.tribe.net/qssm.
You’re not inferior, NAIF, and you’re not alone.
In fact, you have lots of horny soul mates out there—think of strong feminist women with rape fantasies, think of faithful Jews with Nazi fetishes, think of empowered African Americans who get off on Master/slave role-play scenes. And think of all the gay men out there turned on by those vaguely threatening male archetypes. I mean, come on: All those cliché gay male sex symbols—truckers, skinheads, marines, cops, firemen, gangbangers—don’t exactly represent the kinds of people or professions that have historically been associated with tolerance.
A person can safely explore degrading fantasies—even fantasies rooted in “hate ideology”—so long as he/she is capable of compartmentalizing this stuff. Basically, you have to build a firewall between your fantasies and your self-esteem. (And, just as importantly, between your fantasies and your politics.) Once you do that, NAIF, you’ll be able to enjoy your “straight men abusing fags” fantasies without feeling devastated immediately after you come. In fact, successfully building that firewall and then enjoying your fantasies without shame can leave you feeling stronger and more empowered for having these fantasies in the first place. Call it the sub’s paradox: A D/s sub who can enjoy his fantasies without being shredded by them is in control, not being controlled—regardless of how things might appear to a casual or misinformed observer.
But it doesn’t sound like you’ve been able to build that firewall yet, NAIF, due to feelings of shame rooted in a perceived disconnect between the person you know yourself to be—a proud gay man—and the scenarios that make your dick hard. But there is no disconnect, NAIF. You don’t really hate yourself any more than the feminist with rape fantasies really wants to be raped or the Jewish guy with Nazi fantasies really believes that Germans are the master race. (Could a people who routinely wear sandals with socks be the master race? No, they could not.) It might help if you reminded yourself of that before, during, and after you rub one out—it also might help if a sex-positive counselor reminded you of that during some regular sessions over a period of months.
You know what else might help? Finding a nice, out, proud gay man who gets off on this shit, too, NAIF, a guy who wants to explore these degradation fantasies with you in real time—safely, respectfully, and consensually. Cuddling after a hot, crazy, kinky D/s sex session with the “straight” guy who five minutes ago was “degrading” you for being a “worthless faggot”—and then getting dressed and going out to grab some fro-yo and chat about Glee—would go a long way toward helping you see your fantasies as something that brought intimacy, companionship, and connection into your life, instead of self-loathing and self-recrimination.
But don’t start exploring your fantasies with a boyfriend until that firewall is well under construction, NAIF, okay?
Three months ago, I started a fuck-buddy relationship with an old friend. As we are both not seeking a serious romance, I thought it would be a good idea. My assumption was that the relationship was “open.” But when I asked him how he’d feel about me dating another guy, he got defensive and said that if I fucked other guys, he would “never” sleep with me again. I asked him if he was sleeping with other girls, and he said no. I don’t know whether to be happy (he likes me enough to be monogamous) or freaked (at his leotarded communication style). I do have feelings for him, and the sex is progressing from good to great. Any advice would be helpful.
Confused Canadian Chick
I would advise you to have a convo about upgrading your frequent-fucker cards from fuck-buds silver to boyfriend/girlfriend gold. The latter designation gets closer to the facts on the ground: You have feelings for him, he has feelings for you (however poorly articulated), the sex is great, the relationship is exclusive. You two may not have been seeking romance, CCC, but it looks like romance found you.
I’m a straight male in a committed live-in relationship. My girlfriend and I have sex once a week, usually on Saturday mornings. During the week, she is either too tired or too full after dinner. She often says she wants to have sex, but come 9:30 p.m., she’s ready to get in bed and watch TV until she falls asleep. She asks me on a daily basis if I’ve masturbated in her absence. If I say no, she accuses me of lying. She has demanded to smell my hands to see if she can smell lube on them. I resent feeling interrogated and guilt-tripped over this. When I do masturbate, I always clean up after myself and I’m doing it before she gets home or after she’s gone to bed. So, again, why the guilt?
Browbeating Okay, Meat Beating Another Story Totally
I don’t know who’s crazier, your controlling, psychotic, hand-sniffing girlfriend, BOMBAST, or you, for sticking around and putting up with this bullshit. There’s nothing wrong with having a low libido; it’s not a crime to want sex only once a week. But terrorizing a higher-libido partner about whether or not he is making ends meet by masturbating now and then—and demanding to smell his hands!—is borderline abusive behavior. DTMFA, BOMBAST, and be so kind as to pass this bit of advice on to your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend: If you want a companion animal you can castrate, lady, get a dog. Not a boyfriend, not a husband. A dog.
@fakedansavage on Twitter
@99 and others: The problem as I see it is that maybe she is into the “You’ve been a very naughty boy” scene…but he pretty obviously isn’t. Apparently he hasn’t even figured out that she is into that. (If in fact she is, which she very possibly isn’t.) Taking his words such as “resent” and “guilt-trip” at face value, I would have to assume that he doesn’t appreciate being made into a naughty boy, even if that is her kink and she’s just trying to play.
Unless he actually is into it, and is dissembling to us about resenting it as a way to to enhance their little humiliation drama? Why keep it in the bedroom between the two of you when you can tell the whole world?
Little daniel savage is unhappy because Rick Santorum doesn’t like homosexuals, awww. He pouts, then throws a tantrum and creates a website doing what???…Name calling of course because that is what the extreme left does, that is all they can do. Little meaningless danny savage is just another freak who is very unhappy and unfulfilled deep down inside, in reality, he is a very sad little person. Pathetic little danny savage will never find true happiness…he may find a true penis up his ass, but he will forever remain a broken, sad little freak.
@87 lapinette,
Just a suggestion: On weekends can you(all) set up the makings for the coming week’s meals? I doubt I’m alone in being male and liking/being able to cook, but if your SO isn’t there, why not try simple “heat at 350 at 5:00” type meals? Personally I find the cooking together experience excellent bonding time, and pre-kids we would stand a fair chance of ending up in bed while our creation(s) were cooking. To put it in different terms, having fun together makes a transition into sex very easy, and cooking has the added benefit of being useful and freeing up time down the line.
Being overwhelmed by time constraints is bad enough, job stress just makes life hellish. I hope you can negotiate the SO into understanding less stress and time constraints for you makes life better for him too.
BOMBAST should consider morning sex as the “undiscovered country”, and immediately explore as far as possible.
Peace.
@94 “You aren’t going to get your own needs met by demanding that the other person stop meeting theirs. “
Totally agree. While it doesn’t justify anything, I do understand where it can sometimes be hard to voice what you want. My own personal downfall is in trying to let things go the first time or two they happen and not start a fight over something that might be a one time thing. By the time I’m actually upset over it, it’s got precedent and I feel ridiculous saying, “I know it seemed like I didn’t mind, but I do.”
Not saying I’m right to be that way, it’s definitely my problem, not the other person’s, but I think it’s actually a fairly common reason for keeping your mouth shut (at least among people I know). It’s definitely an issue that BOTH people need to work on.
@ 97: Auntie Grizzlysnatch: You’re a true bore, and lamer than lame. At least you’re in the right place for your lameness.
@ 103: You’re the real HOMO in here, “Big Dan”. More like small, small Bob.. Thanks for breaking my heart with the impossible situation that is you. I will never bend on being with a closet-case. It’s too much heartbreak for too little return, for you return nothing. Not much gets out through the cracks of that shut closet door, so stay in there and fester in misery. I won’t be closeted, and it’s time for me to go. Happy New Year, you prick!
@101
Sigh. I don’t get mad, I just don’t date those types because guys too shy to initiate sex are unattractive to me. So I wouldn’t be in her situation, and I’m not.
But I don’t think it’s “hypocritical” to want a relationship where two different people with two different genders (and/or personality types, as the case may be) have different expectations/roles/etc. It’s not for everyone, and I think there are some parts of a relationship that should be equal and even, but I don’t think all parts of a relatioship need to be.
@102: We have no choice but to take the guy at his word. He mentions resentment and guilt-trip, so we have to assume he’s not cool with the situation. However, and maybe I’m just being insensitive here, but why would anyone put up with something so controlling and petty unless he enjoyed giving his g/f that level of control? To do so unwillingly is about as stupid as that woman who thought her b/f ejaculated a mushroom. This isn’t a snooping g/f or someone who throws fits about porn where he plays a passive role. We’re talking about a guy who plays an active role–submitting to a hand smelling inspection. This sounds more kinky than controlling.
Imagine the scenario: Girlfriend says, “I think you’ve been jerking off. I demand to smell your hands.” What sane person wouldn’t say, “What? You want to smell my *hands*? Go fuck yourself.” Now, a very naughty boy might respond differently…
@105 That’s a helpful insight. I also fall into that trap — esp. because I’m sexually submissive, and only just now in my 40s figuring out how to identify what I want (or don’t want) and how to get (or avoid) it.
For me, the first step is to own my feelings, in my head. If I can identify what is bugging me, I’m better able to speak up for myself, regardless of whether I let it go in the past: “I’m not talking about last time; I’m talking about what I want now.”
In bed and out of bed, I’m getting better at stopping to breathe & name to myself what I want, and then going for it (with words or actions). Doesn’t mean I get everything I want. But when I’m more clear and specific (both in my head, and to other people) that always helps me get more of what I want. Which is nice 🙂
@ You: I’m sorry, but I am not happy with you anymore. You and I are at totally different places of comfort in our lives. It’s a chasm that cannot be bridged, until you learn over time to reach out honestly. I wish that for you more than anything… Thank you.
@ 110: That’s very true, EricaP. I hope people spread the word and walk it while they write it. That’d be nice..
Dan. With the upcoming Iowa Primaries in about a week, I’ve been hearing a lot of “Santorum Surging” and “Santorum on fire” comments. I couldn’t help but think about you, and what a “Flaming Santorum” might end up being. Then my brain starts to come up with ideas and I have to stop that immediately.
@109 I have been in BOMBAST’s shoes, and it sucks.
I was ashamed of myself, worried that I was unlovable. To top it off the girl I was married to was very pretty – dream girl pretty. So I was so afraid of losing her – maybe even directly afraid of her – that I would put up with most anything. (She was pretty and very unapproachable)
Then, after some years in the marriage, I couldn’t take it anymore, but too afraid to leave. So I mentally checked out and wound up in the basement every night masturbating to porn for years.
A sad sad existence, we are in the process of getting divorced now, after 25 years. I say, BOMBAST, have an honest talk with the woman. Lay all the cards out. Then, if that doesn’t work, RUN.
@109 I have been in BOMBAST’s shoes, and it sucks.
I was ashamed of myself, worried that I was unlovable. To top it off the girl I was married to was very pretty – dream girl pretty. So I was so afraid of losing her – maybe even directly afraid of her – that I would put up with most anything. (She was pretty and very unapproachable)
Then, after some years in the marriage, I couldn’t take it anymore, but too afraid to leave. So I mentally checked out and wound up in the basement every night masturbating to porn for years.
A sad sad existence, we are in the process of getting divorced now, after 25 years. I say, BOMBAST, have an honest talk with the woman. Lay all the cards out. Then, if that doesn’t work, RUN.
@108: I didn’t say you got mad. I wasn’t talking about you specifically at all. (Sorry, should have said “If [one] gets mad at [one’s] partner…”)
And I agree that relationships don’t have to be perfectly symmetrical in terms of needs fullfilled by each party. They don’t have to match, though they should be complementary.
But #87 specifically said she was mad that he wasn’t making changes that she was perfectly capable of making herself. (And if it’s just so damn hard, as she says a couple of times, then she needs to cut him the same slack she cuts herself.) She apparently would rather be mad at him than see the problem solved.
Nor is she even communicating that she would like those changes to take place. She just gets mad at him for taking care of his own needs — in the conspicuous absence of her taking care of them either — in an information vacuum. She seems to think that the problem would solve itself if he were only kept in a state of heightened sexual hunger, whereupon he would just naturally do things the way she likes. That’s not a relationship, that’s passive-aggressive, manipulative, string-pulling batshittery. He’s a boyfriend, not a marionette.
Like every preschool teacher in the whole country says: “Use your words.” Ask for what you want. Don’t try and manipulate the situation by exerting pressure on things that are at best peripherally related.
@ 115: It didn’t work for me, and now I’m walking, not running.
I used to run, but now I don’t.
I gave everything I had to someone, and they couldn’t reciprocate a fraction of what I freely and lovingly offered. It becomes all too sad that you have no choice but to go of your own volition.
One of those times it rips your heart apart to know that it will never work out, for it never really has. One person cannot pull the weight of two. That happened to me: I did everything, and received nothing back.
Finally, even loving this person wasn’t enough. Nothing I did, good or bad, would appeal them into positive, healthy action. It will be something that will sadden me to think about for many, many years to come.
It would also be something that would sadden me more if I opted to remain in such a hopeless relationship.
I loved you, but you cannot love me the ways I need.. It’s a sad, sad, sad day… It is.
@109 I was in a similar situation to BOMBAST’s, and it sucks.
I was ashamed of myself, worried that I was unlovable. To top it off the girl I was married to was very pretty – dream girl pretty. So I was so afraid of losing her – maybe even directly afraid of her – that I would put up with most anything. (She was pretty and very unapproachable)
Then, after some years in the marriage, I couldn’t take it anymore, but too afraid to leave. So I mentally checked out and wound up in the basement every night masturbating to porn for years.
A sad sad existence, we are in the process of getting divorced now, after 25 years. I say, BOMBAST, have an honest talk with the woman. Lay all the cards out. Then, if that doesn’t work, RUN.
@102 avast2006 and @109 repete: Agreed. You both make some good points regarding BOMBAST’s situation.
@106: See @119.
Thanks once again for the “santorum” neologism. With Santorum’s “surge” in Iowa it gave me a religious vision brought on by relentless laughter. I saw the face of Jesus in a roll of Bounty paper towels.
The ‘smell my hands’ has been bothering me since Tuesday. I have 4 different types of lube on the nightstand, not one of them is scented. If I can manage to buy an assortment of unscented lube without even trying, how is it that BOMBAST hasn’t thought of it?
He shouldn’t have to submit to the sniff test, that goes without saying. But clearly he has chosen to do so thus far. Note that he’s not asking if the olfactory interrogation is normal or acceptable. He wants to be told that it’s OK to masturbate in the absence of a reasonably accomodating sex partner. The answer to that is fuck yes. And it’s OK to masturbate in the presence of a reasonably accomodating sex partner as well.
@116
I understand what you’re saying but I didn’t infer all that from her post. It’s all in the eye of the beholder I guess.
@116,
I would argue, given the total context of #87, that if anyone is being treated as a marionette, it would be the LW. She has a stressful job, school, and commute, and then she gets home to make dinner and have sex. If you put yourself in her frame of reference, she has the competing demands of being told to get dinner on the table, and initiating a more comfortable sex period before dinner. Sure she could use her words, and in my opinion they should be that her partner should have dinner ready when she gets home (then the option of a light snack, sex, and the follow up of a relaxed meal?).
Peace.
Hah! Smell the glove!
I recently penned a tune about a dog-loving ex. The punch line was, “You don’t need a dog, you need a crying towel.”
So yeah, I’m thinking about the puppies. LOL!
@126: Totally agreed that the boyfriend is being an ass, if he gets home before she does, but waits for her to get home so she can cook.
Also totally agreed on what her words should be. He should be the one to have dinner on the table when she arrives — just on general principles, since he gets home first, but especially on nights where he wants something more to happen that evening. (If not actually on the table, then in the oven so that the cooking can happen at the same time as the bedroom activities.)
Sorry I didn’t address his shortcomings earlier, but I talk too much as it it.
@128, for what it’s worth, I enjoy your posts.
@109
It’s pretty simple, he puts up with it because he doesn’t want to provoke anything. Maybe, if he does tell her he’d like her to accomodate him a little, it’ll be over. She’ll leave him, or he’ll have to leave her. Hopefully, they can work it out.
If THAT’s the big problem, then I personally would gladly put up with that situation. And, I wouldn’t like it.
CCC!!!!
Sorry, Dan, I usually agree with you, but I don’t think there is enough information here. Your friend didn’t say that his feelings for you are the root of his not wanting you to see other people. It could just be that he doesn’t like ‘sharing.’ If he has feelings for you and you have feelings for him, go for it. But if he doesn’t have feelings for you and just wants to keep you for himself, don’t waste your time!
CCC: Language matters and you sound fairly young (at least to me). There appears to have been miscommunication, an understatement to say the least, between you and your FB (your term). You “assumed” you had an open relationship with an “old” friend. Not wanting a serious relationship does not necessarily mean an open relationship. Frequency of sex does impact how some one may view a relationship, particularly if it was increasing.
You say you asked him how he would feel if you dated someone else or did you ask him how he would feel if you fucked someone else. Given his reaction I would appear that you either asked the latter question or he interpreted your question that way (even if you didn’t mean it that way).
Was your question part of a broader conversation on your relationship or did it essentially come out of the blue? If the latter, your friend may have felt confused, hurt, and blind sided by you, thus his defensiveness and over reaction.
All of this is speculation on my part since I don’t know you or your friend and you really didn’t provide a lot information. I have no clue what really happened. The classic movie Rashomon shows the subjectivity of perception of the same event. Miscommunication is not uncommon, particularly with younger people.
I just read #21’s explanation of where the word “leotarded” came from. While I understand that many were offended by the word, “retarded,” did anyone (i.e. Dan) consider that late-July/early August folks (Leo’s) might be offended by his replacement term?
I do want to say, though, that this is the first thing in many years of reading this column with which I take issue. Keep up the great work, Dan.
@87 lapinette : such a lovely name !
And the boyfriend is an ass.
In fact, are you French like me ? Because your boyfriend sounds to me like the typical French male. He wants his woman to work, to cook for both (“huh, me cook ? huh, you do it so much better, love”), and then of course he wants to have sex with his little pretty doll of a girlfriend all ready for him in bed !
I guess you’re doing most of the tidying up as well. And most of the chores. Be happy you don’t have kids yet, because for each second of help he’ll give you then, he’ll brag to his family that “he does his part”, and he’ll demand you to be more than grateful and thankful about what little symbolic help he’ll indeed give you – more than he’s ever been about all what you’re doing for him now.
And how grateful has he ever been to you, for you making dinner to him every night, though you work longer hours ? Yeah, my point.
He’s happy to use his free time to masturbate instead of using it to do any of the chores (can he do both at the same time ? that would be hot !), and then it’s only too late at night that he’s horny, when you’d like to sleep it off.
DTMFA. Men exist who don’t take women for granted, even in France. Men exist who’ll do half of the cooking and half of the chores and won’t make a big deal about it. Men exist who’ll do most of the chores and most of the cooking, so that you’ll be all fine and relaxed from your long work day, after a nice meal, and quite ready for steaming sex.
Lapinette, you don’t have to settle for the average lazy male (yeah, I know, lazy and male often go hand in hand, in the privacy of one’s home – I’m talking of my home country here, no offense meant to others). You’re worth much more.
@134: Yeah. That new term took me a bit by surprise, too.
Yo, Dan, thanks for constantly spurting plain commonsense truth! Somebody clone this guy and let me into a room full of naked and partially dressed ones…
Happy New Year, Bro!
Yo, Dan, thanks for constantly spurting plain commonsense truth! Somebody clone this guy and let me into a room full of naked and partially dressed ones…
Happy New Year, Bro!
All I can say regarding the first question as well as its response is: What a fucking world we live in, eh?
If you can only manage sex once a week, and justify it by having a “stressful job”, stop working for Babylon, it’s a soul eater that we would be better of without anyways…
On this Bombast thing – I’m AMAZED that everyone still, even here, automatically jumps to “she has a lower libido than him, and must be a crazy bitch for being upset about his masturbating.”
The handsniffing, yes… wacky.
But beyond that, it sounds like he is leaving out, or oblivious to, his roll in their sex life!
He even says “She often says she wants to have sex, but come 9:30 p.m., she’s ready to get in bed and watch TV until she falls asleep.”
He doesn’t say: WHAT does he do or say to try and have sex with her?
Is he just presuming by her body language, or is he trying and getting rejected?
Maybe she’s super passive. Sure sounds like he is.
Maybe she’s getting in bed hoping he’ll join her, shut the TV and jump her. Or maybe she’s getting in bed depressed that there was no romance, yet again, and depressed thinking he’d rather jerk in the bathroom than seduce her when she gets home?
If she’s truly too tired or too full, has he tried to have lighter dinners, or work her up as an appetizer?
Is he actually not doing anything to increase the mood after work, to lead up the them having sex?
BOMBAST, Maybe try unleashing your horniness on her every few days.
Then she won’t think (or care) if you’ve been masturbating, if she’s getting enough of your sexual outlet to not think it’s going elsewhere.
Seems to me she’d only care if she’s feeling undesired or neglected.
And sounds to me like Bombast is a passive guy, blaming girl. And she’s passive too, and they have some shitty communication.
Gays Suck! 🙂
NAIF — I’m a strong feminist, as well as a very happy and contented sub/slave. It’s OK to compartmentalize. Rape fantasies are awesome. Actual rape would be horrific. When my Master says, “On your knees, whore, and suck my cock like the little slut you are,” it turns me on. If someone else said that — someone who doesn’t love and respect and adore me like my Master does — it would be awful. Can we explain this to most other people? No, not in my experience. Is it totally fine? Yep, absolutely.
“Santorum surging in Iowa”. Thank you Dan.
I’m late to the party here, but I’d like to weigh in on BOMBAST’S situation, too.
I can’t help thinking what a horrible mother this woman would be like with her children, if she carries this masturbation phobia over to them.
Consider this as you’re planning your future with her.
@ 130: Setting yourself up to be rejected by assuming it will happen, and that the other person will leave..
It’s the attitude that needs to be retweaked. Sometimes people shrink away from confrontation. It’s a part of life. It can resolve long-festering dilemmas, by taking the time to get things out in the open, no matter how difficult and uncomfortable it may or may not be..
If people don’t find a way to speak up and have their true selves be heard, then what can ever be accomplished?
If people want something bad enough, no matter what it is, they’ll find a way to make it happen.
Where it all begins in things like that happening is believing and having enough confidence to get the ball rolling yourself, because you want something more than you fear it.
@ 114 & 117 and for @ 119, as well:
Sometimes less isn’t more: sometimes less is just less…and anything more than that is more.
Especially is someone, no matter how attractive and/or unapproachable they may seem to you..
If such a person has long been enamored of you and you’re still feeling unsure or undeserving of the attention, despite glaring evidence over time that this supposedly-unattainable person is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy into you to the point of genuine passion…
It’s always tough when two people’s communication styles are so markedly different.
It’d be easier to contend with if that magical element of love didn’t figure in so much..
It may not be easy, and it may not be always that comfortable, but if it matters enough to either person to keep trying to work it out, then please keep trying to work it out.
Sitting on what you feel and think can turn on you at some point. Let it out! Let it go: take a chance! Have a great day and Happy New Year.
Desire trumps fear, if you want something bad enough. Peace.
(Nevermind. It IS my fault for not having my own life. That I will cop to. All I know is, is that I need to develop my own life more, and stop trying so hard to hang everything on you..
That, my enthusiasm that somehow still silences you; the overall, ongoing trouble..
I am at fault, too. I am working on that myself.
{shrugs} Later.)
@ You, again: What is is what is, and this isn’t working right now. When has it? It is sad. Smile, grin, laugh at me from afar for trying once more; it’s what you do. Well, whatever. Fuck it. Good luck to you, too. /m
_______________________________________________
Thanks for your participation.
@146-151 – Wishing you peace in the new year. One day at a time; one minute at a time if that’s more doable…
@ 152: EricaP: Thank You 🙂 . Minutes at a time happen to be more my speed, since you eeked it out of me lol.
Thanks again. Happy New Year Peace to you too.
🙂
You have a point: she may get off on the fact that you do, and that, to her, it’s forbidden..
I can’t think of anything more flattering than someone wanting to masturbate before me, to me..
That’s THE Ultimate Compliment of Your Hotness!
Watching someone succumb helplessly to self-manipulated physical passion…
Whether or not BOMBAST masturbates in front of his wife or off on his own in his own bathroom in the house, she should be counting her blessings that he takes care of his additional physical needs that way. That’s a good man who can see the forest for the trees and stick it out..
I think it’s cool, and rather hot actually. Makes you wanna help out from carrying the burden of doing it all on your lonesome 😉 …