My friend is a gay-identified FTM. He’s hot, he’s cute, and above the waist, you would never guess what he’s got down below. We love to kiss and cuddle, and from my end, his blowjobs are great. The problem is that I have no idea how to reciprocate. He isn’t into anal (why would he be, without a prostate?), there’s no cock for me to suck, and what he does have down below doesn’t interest either of us.
Do you have any ideas on how I could turn him on and get him off? It’s starting to frustrate me. Getting bottom work done is a long way off with the current finances.
Sent From The Savage Love App For iPhone
“Your FTM partner has to become comfortable with his own body before you can attempt to satisfy him sexually,” says Buck Angel, transsexual FTM porn star, aka “the man with a pussy.”
“Your partner will need to share with you what his needs are,” says Buck. “Nobody should be expected to guess at what his partner wants. Communication is important, regardless of gender or sexuality.”
I agree 100 percent with Buck—what he said, as they say—but rereading your letter, SFTSLAFI, I’m thinking there’s a chance your FTM partner is comfortable with his body but he’s painfully aware that you are not. Up to a certain point, that’s understandable: You’re a gay guy, not a bi guy, pussy isn’t your thing, etc. But there’s a point at which your aversion to pussy—his pussy—becomes unacceptable.
And you know what? If you’re accepting regular blowjobs from this guy, SFTSLAFI, then you’re well past that point.
Maybe it would help if you didn’t think of his pussy as pussy. All fetuses start out as girls—you were a girl once, SFTSLAFI—until the process of sex differentiation kicks in and “masculinizing hormones,” if they’re present, turn little girl fetuses into little boy fetuses, and little fetal pussies into little fetal cocks. So you know what your FTM boyfriend has down there? Pretty much all the same stuff you do. His clit is analogous to the head of your cock, and his clit has a shaft just like your cock does. He has ovaries for balls and a clitoral hood for a foreskin, and he’s got a piss slit down there somewhere, too.
Think of his pussy as a cock that’s still in the box it came in. It’s like a cock you got at Ikea—there’s some assembly required, SFTSLAFI, but you can assemble it only in your imagination.
Back to Buck: “Maybe you two should start playing with that part of his body together,” says Buck. “Perhaps you can try out some fun sex toys. Or maybe he can masturbate for you, and you will find that hot and want to jump in.”
What’s really important, though, is convincing your FTM boyfriend that you’re not going to freak out when you see him or touch him.
“That fear is why so many FTM guys have a problem dealing with their genitals,” says Buck. “They are afraid of what other people will think or how they’ll react. Once you make him feel safe, then I would almost bet that your sex life will explode.
“Also, just because he doesn’t have a prostate, that isn’t the reason he doesn’t like anal,” continues Buck. “I know lots of FTM guys and women who love anal sex. In fact, many FTMs are into anal and don’t even want vaginal sex.”
You can check out Buck—you can check out all of Buck—at www.buckangel.com, where you can also order his porn, which you might find helpful, SFTSLAFI.
“These guys should watch a Buck Angel film while having sex,” says Buck. “It’ll show him the way some FTMs like to get off and might make him see how hot having sex with an FTM is!”
I’m a straight girl who hates all the slang terms for vagina. Cunt, twat, pussy—first’s too vulgar, second’s too awful, third’s too cute. And vajayjay? Too stupid. All the best sex-organ slang is reserved for men. It makes me sad.
Sent From My iPod
Let’s just call ’em all cock then, shall we? Your pussy, SFTSLAFI’s boyfriend’s pussy, Buck’s pussy—they’re all cocks in the boxes they came in.
I’m a 26-year-old FTM who is interested in seeing what sex with gay men is like. Although I have identified as heterosexual in the past, I do find something appealing in the idea of being appreciated sexually as a man by men who like men. I’m attractive, fit, over average height for a man, and passable—although I am quite slim and look like I’m about 17. I know that gay men find me attractive. I’m often cruised, and men have told me that I am good-looking and have expressed interest in me. In these situations, I’m usually not out as a tranny.
I have a few hesitations, however. I’ve never had sex with a man. I don’t know what would be expected of me with the anatomy I’ve got. I’m worried that those interested in me would see me as a bottom, which simply isn’t the case.
Another worry is appearing so young. I take myself seriously intellectually—presently, I am thriving in medical school—and would like others to do the same. And all these worries presuppose that there are decent men out there who’d even be interested in my body in a respectful way.
Can you, as a gay man, tell me anything about the gay male community? I’d be grateful.
Curious About Gay Encounters, Yep
The gay male community in a nutshell: There are some good guys out there, some okay guys, and lots and lots of assholes—pretty much the same as any other community—and there are definitely gay guys out there willing to go there with a cute FTM. (See the first letter in today’s column; also, see all the guys who’ve banged Buck in his movies.) To separate the good gays from the bad gays, CAGEY, you’ll have to use your best judgment, the same common sense and bullshit detectors you use with anyone else; to separate the gay guys who would be up for sleeping with a trans man, all you have to do is be up-front about who you are and what you’re after with the men who cruise you.
As for your youthful appearance: There will be some “good” guys who’ll cruise you and feel terrible about it—meaning, they’ll find you attractive and think, “No, no, no. He’s way too young.” These guys will be hugely relieved when they learn you’re actually a 26-year-old med student.
Finally, CAGEY, don’t concern yourself with expectations. Just be open and honest about what you’ve got, equipment-wise, and what you’re interested in exploring, gay-wise. Not a bottom? Just say so. It’ll scare off the guys who want to top you, of course, but you don’t want to sleep with them anyway. I promise you that some of the gay guys who cruise you will be psyched to bottom for you—I’m assuming that you, a hetero-identified man up to now, already own at least one strap-on, right?—because it’ll be easier for them to deal with what you’ve got down there if you’re strapping on something they’re used to.
My current boyfriend lets me blow him but refuses to go down on me. I miss oral sex!
Missing Oral Undulations That Hornify
If he won’t eat your pussy, MOUTH, make him suck your cock.
And penises are just really big clits.
To give MOUTH a real answer…
He’s got a reason for not wanting to go down there. It could be your hygiene, but you miss it, so you WERE getting it, so probably not. He’s a misogynist jerk, or he’s afraid of women, or he’s gay. I guess there are other reasons, but I suspect they mostly boil down to those three. When you insist (“here, now, and make it good, or I’m getting it from the cute waiter at that restaurant up the road”), you’ll know by the response you’ll get.
“I forbid it!”
“Uh, sorry, um, maybe I could but, um…”
“Yeah he’s pretty good at .. uh, I mean, what cute waiter?”
Options one and three: get out. Option two: get assertive.
Why does the guy in a relationship with the FTM focus so much on the pussy? It`s not just a vagina – there`s a clit there, too! Suck the clit, rub the clit, do whatever you`d do to a very small penis, and don`t worry about the vagina unless your partner asks you to. I`m a cis-gendered woman, but I can get off and have a good time with just clit play and no penetration at all.
SFMiP, try using the ancient Hindu word yoni. Try googling the word and see how, um, widespread the term is (although it is also an Israeli nickname for Yonatan, Jonathan, so be aware.) Personally, I like cunt, as long as it’s not used metonymically, rather in its proper context. I believe it’s replaced fuck as the most powerful word in the English lexicon.
As for the letter from SFTSLAFI, good sales pitch in the last paragraph, Buck. (Jeez.)
You know, I’d really like meet Buck Angel. He seems like a really cool and interesting person.
Great column, Dan.
oral gives as oral gets – if he won’t do it for you show him how it feels and quit doing it for him. i mean, maybe you enjoy giving enough that not getting is ok, but it sure doesn’t sound like it. if he wont go there and that’s what you want/need, find a new guy — there are SO MANY out there who love it.
When you’re attracted to someone, hopefully it’s all the same… My mind as a gay man was totally blown the first time I caught a glimpse of Buck Angel. Who is a fantastically hot man. With a pussy. Which I’d like to do all kinds of things to. Mind, blown. So I’d just try it on for size and see how it goes, as long as you’re courteous and remember to communicate with each other.
I have no further comments for the first letters, but their stories are interesting, to say the least. They also gave Dan the chance to enlighten us about the Cock in a box. Great!
However, I can tell something to MOUTH: To me, giving oral to my ex wife was boring because she didn’t react and didn’t look as if she was having fun. Are you expressing your satisfaction in an engaging way? Still, there might be other reasons for your situation: perhaps your BF is gay and doesn’t know it; or he’s mostly hetero but slightly gay; or just hasn’t learned how gay he is. Men who don’t like to oral women and have not declared themselves as gay tend to have issues with their own sexual identity. Last but not least: Based on Jaime Bayly’s opinion, perhaps he just doesn’t love you.
If you’re not comfortable being with a pre-op or non-op FTM transexual, then for god’s sake don’t be with him. You’re going to waste years of his youth and totally fuck up his self-image if you won’t accept his body for what it is, and give him orgasms too. Dan’s general rule that oral sex comes standard with every model holds true whether you’re dating a transman or woman or man or lion, etc.
Okay, maybe not the lion. Sharp teeth hurt.
Also, regarding the lack of oral. I am a woman who’s never really had a good experience with oral. Any guy I’ve ever dated has quickly stopped doing it. I’ve been told once outright that my vagina just doesn’t taste good (although I’m disease-free). I’ve been on a variety of birth control pills in my life, which seem to have permanently altered the smell and taste of my vaginal fluids. I’ve pretty much come to accept that no man will go down on me for more than a couple of minutes right after I get out of the shower, which is never enough to get me off.
But I (and you) can live with it and make it work. Talk this over with your man and find out why he’s stopped going down on you. BE PREPARED TO HEAR SOMETHING YOU WILL NOT LIKE. If you can’t handle hearing that your vag tastes funny, then don’t ask. But also realize that ignorance of the truth will not make you happier than knowing, either.
My current boyfriend is really awesome. He gives the best oral, even if only for a few minutes at a time. Which is apparently all I’m ever going to get unless I date someone without taste buds! I love giving oral way too much to withhold it, as well.
It’s all good. This is why god invented vibrators. And your man should still be manually stimulating you, even if he doesn’t like oral for whatever reason.
By bottom, I thought he meant that they wouldn’t be interested in sexually gratifying him with anything but anal because he has a pussy. I didn’t read anything BDSM into that at all. Maybe I’m just too vanilla to pick up on it.
Regarding oral sex, if it’s a taste issue, why not use a dental dam or douse the recipient in something strongly-flavored and yummy, like minty dark chocolate sauce or strawberry syrup?
LoveHoney makes an oral sex (cunnilingus) simulator called Sqweel, which has something like 10 “tongues” that rotate around the wheel, one after the other, flicking away at various, chosen speeds. (Make sure to use plenty of lube, BTW!)
Lastly, for MOUTH, ask your partner about it. Maybe it’s psychological, or he’s lazy/selfish, or there is a taste issue, but he could have a jaw problem. I have a real problem with giving prolonged oral sex because of deep jaw pain (I have a family history of TMJ) and a small mouth (I felt a little vindicated when my anaesthesiologist noted that I was extremely difficult to intubate due to the latter). I still do it but not as often as I would otherwise . . . .
Regarding oral sex, if it’s a taste issue, why not use a dental dam or douse the recipient in something strongly-flavored and yummy, like minty dark chocolate sauce or strawberry syrup?
LoveHoney makes an oral sex (cunnilingus) simulator called Sqweel, which has something like 10 “tongues” that rotate around the wheel, one after the other, flicking away at various, chosen speeds. (Make sure to use plenty of lube, BTW!)
Lastly, for MOUTH, ask your partner about it. Maybe it’s psychological, or he’s lazy/selfish, or there is a taste issue, but he could have a jaw problem. I have a real problem with giving prolonged oral sex because of deep jaw pain (I have a family history of TMJ) and a small mouth (I felt a little vindicated when my anaesthesiologist noted that I was extremely difficult to intubate due to the latter). I still do it but not as often as I would otherwise . . . .
Well done with the bf of the FTM, Dan. A little NLP session never hurts. It sounds like they are really attracted to each other, they just need something to “bridge the divide”
Here’s something you didn’t suggest – the Feeldoe. He can stick it inside him and get a hand/blow job from the bf. It will make the guy feel so much more relaxed and confident having a cock, and then they can work their way up to the cock box.
To the guy whose trans-guy boyfriend needs to be gotten off…
HANDJOBS. Handjobs, handjobs, handjobs. Handjobs with fingers, handjobs with vibrators, handjobs with vigor, subtle handjobs, shocker handjobs, the more the merrier. And when you’ve had enough of that, fun with frottage. Grind in bed, rub off against each other on the kitchen counter, have tons of fun in the shower. Heck, get one of those combo cock ring-vibes, have him climb on top of you, and let him fuck himself senseless while you enjoy the show.
If you really like giving blowjobs, and he’s a visually-stimulated kind of guy, see if he’ll get a strapon, make eye contact when you go down, and play with his clit while you make eye contact. You can get one with a vibe built in, or one that is a dual-purpose strap-on/dildo if he’s into that.
Since nobody else has brought this up–you didn’t mention whether your partner was on T or not, or has had any other alterations with his factory-issue equipment. If those factory-issue parts are still functional as designed–or even if you think they might be–and your cock is anywhere near them, WRAP IT UP.
To the guy whose trans-guy boyfriend needs to be gotten off…
HANDJOBS. Handjobs, handjobs, handjobs. Handjobs with fingers, handjobs with vibrators, handjobs with vigor, subtle handjobs, shocker handjobs, the more the merrier. And when you’ve had enough of that, fun with frottage. Grind in bed, rub off against each other on the kitchen counter, have tons of fun in the shower. Heck, get one of those combo cock ring-vibes, have him climb on top of you, and let him fuck himself senseless while you enjoy the show.
If you really like giving blowjobs, and he’s a visually-stimulated kind of guy, see if he’ll get a strapon, make eye contact when you go down, and play with his clit while you make eye contact. You can get one with a vibe built in, or one that is a dual-purpose strap-on/dildo if he’s into that.
Since nobody else has brought this up–you didn’t mention whether your partner was on T or not, or has had any other alterations with his factory-issue equipment. If those factory-issue parts are still functional as designed–or even if you think they might be–and your cock is anywhere near them, WRAP IT UP.
D’oh, sorry for the double post.
I’m a straight woman and can’t get over the image of my flat-packed IKEA cock. Hilarious!
As for the woman who doesn’t know what to call her vagina… why not give it a name? Then you can choose whether the name is girly, sexy, filthy or elegant.
Jeez Rach3l, what a sad situation! Don’t settle for that, your clit doesn’t produce any juices so saying that they don’t like the taste is just a bs excuse. They don’t have to stick their tongue into your vagina, oral should be about clitoris! Have a dildo/vibrator in the vagina and a tongue on your clit and rock on!
Mouth and #2- there is another option, similar to what #9 said. Perhaps there has been some exchange that has made him nervous or believe that you don’t enjoy this process or that he is not skilled in this area. I was once in a similar situation and it turns out that a conversation about an ex had communicated that it wasn’t something I was into. The misunderstanding was addressed and things picked up. Either way, you have a tough conversation ahead of you. Good luck.
The cock-in-a-box concept is absolutely classic.
One extra thing for the first letterwriter, regarding anal and why on earth someone without a prostate would be into it. Obviously there are lots of fun things about anal apart from the prostate, which Buck, Dan and other commenters have covered. However, no one’s mentioned this so far: his FTM boyfriend, like all folk with a pussy, has a G-spot. Which you can stimulate anally – the walls between vagina and anus are actually pretty thin. If you know what the G-spot feels like in the vagina (which you may or may not, depending on past experience – it’s on the front wall, and kind of spongey), you can feel it pretty easily by sticking a finger up his ass and curling pretty much as you’d do when going for the prostate. From the ass, it’s in roughly the same place. Have fun.
alright I’m confused… and not in a good way…
@22: yep, I meant to add that too. Plenty of cis-ladies love anal (A LOT) so don’t assume he doesn’t like it just because he doesn’t have a prostate.
You should probably have a couple of glasses of wine together and have a light, honest conversation about what you can do to rock your transguy’s world.
1. I can’t believe Dan didn’t point this out, but a prostate is not required for enjoyable anal. Plenty of female-bodied people, gay and straight, enjoy it just fine. Your friend may still not, but don’t assume the lack of a prostate means a lack of interest.
2. DEAR GOD *DO NOT* put anything like chocolate sauce or strawberry syrup between a woman’s legs! Anything sugar–including lubes with glycerin–is an invitation to a not-so-yummy yeast infection. Get some stuff designed to go down there. I believe Babeland is glycerin-free.
I hope you didn’t give some dumb guys the idea that vigorously rubbing a woman’s clit will bring her the same pleasure as vigorously rubbing a man’s penis will for him. They’re not perfectly analogous.
MOUTH has an awesome acronym. I plan to use “hornify” in a sentence today!
@Rach3l…..it isn’t your bc pills that affect your taste….its the food you eat. Just like how it affects how a guy’s jizz tastes. Look at your diet. Eat more fruits and veggies and it should improve how you taste.
To the first letter writer, good advice. I’d add that if you focus on the clit rather than the hole (unless/until he expresses a desire for that), and talk about it like a cock, that should help. Just don’t be quite as rough with it as a cock, or make good use of that “foreskin.” It seems to me that FTMs will become more comfortable using more and more of their factory issued parts as they acquire more experience with a partner who sees them the same way they see themselves. Also, bottom surgery might not be the best thing for upping your partner’s sexual enjoyment, since the results often don’t guarantee preserved sexual sensation. How do I know? Actual experience with FTMs here.
11# Totally unacceptable situation. Make that guy stay down there if he gives such good oral sex! Especially if he’ll still only do it for a few minutes even right after a shower. What could possibly have made your pussy funky during that short window of time?
I’m a gay guy and I’ve got to say, through observation only, there seems to be a lot of straight guys who are total scrotums when it comes to giving oral sex to their partners. A gay guy would never get away with such bullshit. Let me tell you, penises aren’t always perfectly tasty and hygenic lollipops. I honestly think that what it really boils down to is that many straight guys are LAZY, or unfairly squeamish – sure, your pussy might not taste “good” to him, but he might object if it tasted like anything but the most delicious ambrosia, especially if he’s being “inconvenienced” by a kink in his neck or a sore jaw.
I second #14’s suggestion for using a dental dam – not the douching with sweet stuff though, unless you want to get a yeast infection. Go and get some flavored dental dams, present them to your partner in a dramatic ceremony after a shower (always a good idea for oral sex, for BOTH sexes), and tell him to get to work. Hold him there even if he squirms. If he still objects, you’ll know it’s laziness/selfishness/scrotumish level of squeamishness, and be able to tell him to suck it up.
Re: Cock in the box
Maybe it’s a generational thing- I’m 65- but we used to call them boxes. Never heard of a box lunch? Additionally, we must not overlook the Beaver, which is the animal-world equivalent to the Cock, derived from the term for a male bird, sometimes specifically the Rooster. Save a tree- eat a beaver, non?
Dan, you forgot a key part of the advice to MOUTH. If he won’t eat her pussy or suck his cock then she should DTMFA.
Advice to the persnickety straight girl: Pick one and use it all the time; you’ll eventually just get used to it. Then you can start thinking about more important things.
Dan, I love your advice to the first letter!! I’m a bi girl with a non-op MTF girlfriend, and the reverse (a cock is just a big clit) works fine too. I had a couple thoughts to add, also: His partner may not be into anal not because of a lack of prostate (there are plenty of other happy little nerves back there) but because being penetrated is too much like being in the female role, at least for now. And also, a well-placed strap-on can deliver plenty of sensation to the wearer as well as the receiver. It has to be settled just right – on top of the clit works well – but I’ve been able to come with that alone, so maybe it would work for this writer’s partner too?
Also, to Rach31 and maybe MOUTH – you have been thoroughly checked by your gyno, right? It’s possible some infection is altering the way you smell & taste. Bacterial Vaginosis, in particular, usually makes the smell and taste stronger and less pleasant (that “fishy smell” thing), and a lot of women have no other symptoms than that, so they don’t realize it. It can be treated (though if you’ve had it a while it may take more than one round of treatment) and taking folic acid and probiotics also seems to help.
re: hornified.
check out this short film from Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s hitRECord. It makes excellent use of hornified as well as being an excellent way to spend 5 minutes.
http://hitrecord.org/records/40939
Oral sex is a basic human right.
Curious: MOUTH – have you directly asked your BF why he won’t lick the kitty? If you can’t ask your BF directly then there is some weird dynamic in that relationship.
Oh my Dan! How you have grown: from a “canned ham dropped from a great height” to a “cock in a box.” I will be laughing over this all day.
Yeah like I said, disease-free. Trust me, I had a comprehensive workup done after I was told that my vagina just didn’t taste good.
Really, I’m ok with things as they are. Though I definitely appreciate the advice about dental dams. I haven’t heard about those since 4th grade period education class 🙂 how quaint and potentially useful!
Whisker biscuit is my preferred term.
Also golden gates, gates of heaven, heavenly triangle, snatch, I could go on for while.
so does this mean the christian fundamentalists are correct….a gay man can learn to love pussy and so become straight?
or perhaps a kinsey 6 can become a kinsey 5?
Love that you posted 2 FTM questions today, Dan! If you want more info on FTM sexuality and culture you should check out “Original Plumbing magazine”… its this quarterly mag published out of San Francisco featuring trans guys from all over the globe. Enjoy!
@14 Two words: YEAST INFECTION. NEVER put sugar on a pussy. EVER. That is what sugar-free flavored lubes are for.
If a guy says he doesn’t like the taste of your pussy, be sure to ask:
1) How many pussies have you eaten?
If the answer is 0, he may have an issue with the flavor/smell of pussy in general, not just yours.
2) Of the pussies you have eaten, how many have you liked?
If the guy has never happened across a pussy he liked, ditto. His problem, not yours.
If, however, he’s eaten dozens of pussies and liked every one but yours, consider hygiene as a factor. Shave/wax/trim, be sure to inspect your labia and prepuce for smegma and wash it off with soap, consider taking probiotics, or eating lots of yogurt.
One extremely common cause of foul-smelling vagina is bacterial vaginosis. Get a Vagisil pH testing kit at your local pharmacy to see if you have it. If you do, consult your physician.
Some men don’t eat pussy because they have a “macho” issue. If that’s the case, issue an ultimatum: eat it or say goodbye!
I just noticed Joe Newton’s illustration. Too cute!
I suggest the girl who hates the common slang for vagina to check YouTube for the song “You can’t say cunt in Canada” by Aussie comic Kevin Bloody Wilson.
I suggest to the girl who hates the common vagina slang words to check YouTube for the song “You can’t say cunt in Canada” by Aussie comic Kevin Bloody Wilson.
I have to say as a woman, I am incredibly into anal (providing the person with the cock knows what they are doing anyway). The clitoris has nerve endings on the anal side as well, plus it is just fucking HOT.
Pussy is an acquired taste, and you don’t have to be gay to have an issue with that. Semen is equally an acquired taste. A woman who doesn’t care for the flavor is not a de facto lesbian.
No two pussies taste exactly the same, just as the semen of two different men tastes different.
As noted by another commenter, flavors change with diet and over time. My GF’s flavor varies with her cycle, and she tastes very different immediately after an intense orgasm.
One time I was giving head to a BF whose flavor changed partway through the ejaculation.
Variants in flavor are a wonderful thing to explore, but can lead to some surprising outcomes (ahem), and since it’s an acquired taste, someone new to the scene might still be a little edgy about everything.
Some people are also triggered by texture issues. For instance, I cannot eat soft eggs. Poached eggs in particular will never get past my gag reflex. They make me think of huge gobbets of snot.
If MOUTH’s man is imagining a chunk of lukewarm fat on his lips every time he goes down, there isn’t any amount of persuasion that’ll work; he needs to overcome it, and it’ll probably have to be slowly.
Some people might love giving oral the very first time they try it. Others might need to take it a little more slowly and get used to it. And a few might simply not enjoy it at all. I tend to agree that oral is a fundamental human right, but it’s also a fundamental human right to not do it, whatever the reason might be.
Passing judgment on a particular individual, because that person doesn’t like giving oral to someone, doesn’t elevate the discussion. Or anyone’s luggage, for that matter.
Rach31. This may seem icky to you, as a straight girl, but consider this: have you ever tasted yourself? That way you can know what it is that the boyfriends are talking about (and honestly, it can’t possibly be more icky than semen). This all sounds like your boyfriends are lazy/ want an excuse and you are giving them one because you have this hangup now. Because really, out of the shower? The excuse sounds fishy to me. (Pun intended.)
@39 blackbird, Thank you. I was thinking the same exact thing. I guess all we (gay men) need to do is find a mannish looking woman, give her the pronoun him, and pretend her vagina is just a “cock in a box”. I think we just found the cure for gayness. And this should get rid of the whole “men” marrying “men” problem. Oh, wait, I guess it won’t since people who were physically born women but feel they are men, yet still have vaginas, are now considered men, even though they are not men physically.
@49: There’s a self-selected bias there. He’s already with a FTM, so he’s probably more about the gender identity than the equipment already. If he has chronic equipment-focused gay, Dan’s advice won’t help. If, however, he only has transient gay (a 4 or a 5) but still primarily identifies as gay, the advice might help.
Of course, his particular brand of gay might be more about identity than equipment. But it’s okay to be all about the equipment as well.
We’re all unique, right?
We don’t all start out as girls. We start out with basic hardware that can develop into boy parts or girl parts. If you have the right instruction set (from the Y chromosome) your parts become the male ones. If not, you go female. I’m a physician (a neonatologist).
@38 Best one I ever heard was “the Batcave”.
And sex was called “parking the Batmobile.”