I’m a young heteroflexible guy who has been a “sugar baby” for a handful of wealthy older guys. I love it! I get money, I have fun being with them, and the guys seem to like having me around. The problem is that I just got with a new guy who is really great except for one thing: He is HIV positive. I like the fact that he told me, and I am open to being with him sexually even though I am HIV negative and want to stay that way.
He is VERY submissive—he wants to be used and abused sexually, physically, and mentally. My question is, what kinds of sex acts are okay to do with this guy? I read on one site that him rimming me is fine, and on another that him giving me a blowjob with a condom is safe, too. But I can’t find a site that specifically explains which sex acts are safe and which ones aren’t when one person is positive and one person is negative.
Help In Virginia
It’s pretty simple, HIV: Sex acts that expose you to his semen and/or blood are definitely unsafe, and sex acts that expose him to your semen and/or blood are mostly safe. Rimming you, blowing you (even without a condom), getting fucked by you (with a condom)—all very low risk for HIV transmission. If he’s on a drug regimen and his viral load is undetectable, HIV, your already-low risks of being exposed while, say, accepting a blowjob (and a check) are even lower. The risks aren’t nonexistent—all sex acts carry some degree of risk—but if the risks were any closer to nonexistent, they’d be sitting on nonexistent’s lap.
And bear this in mind: Odds are good that some of the other guys you’ve babied for—some of your previous daddies—were HIV positive and either didn’t know or didn’t have the decency to disclose. This guy’s willingness to disclose is evidence not just of his honesty and decency, HIV, but of his respect for you and his commitment to keeping you safe. This guy is less likely to ask you to engage in sex acts that are higher risk or unsafe than a guy who isn’t aware that he’s positive or is actively hiding the fact that he’s positive. And his interest in being “used and abused” creates lots of hot safe-sex-play options—letting him beat off while he licks your boots or jerking him off while he’s tied to the bed with your jock in his mouth are no-risk sexual activities that he’s likely to enjoy immensely.
I’m a 24-year-old straight guy. I’ve been with my girl for three years, and things are great—great sex life, great communication, etc. We have lots of sex—but for the last year or so, she has not been on birth control and we have not been using condoms. We’re not against the idea of a child, but we aren’t currently going for it. I was always told that pulling out was a 100 percent ineffective method of birth control. So my question is, I guess, could there be something wrong with one of us? How could we have unprotected sex for a year without getting her pregnant? We both really want children eventually and are worried it might not happen.
Sent From My iPhone
Withdrawal is a much more effective birth control method than most sex advisers are comfortable acknowledging. But facts are facts: A comprehensive study conducted by researchers at the Guttmacher Institute found that withdrawal was almost as effective a birth control option as condoms. (“Better Than Nothing or Savvy Risk-Reduction Practice? The Importance of Withdrawal,” Contraception, June 2009.)
“If the male partner withdraws before ejaculation every time a couple has vaginal intercourse, about 4% of couples will become pregnant over the course of a year,” the authors of the study wrote. That compares pretty favorably with the 2 percent of straight couples who will become pregnant using condoms perfectly over the course of a year.
In the real world, of course, very few people do anything perfectly. When you take mistakes, leaks, and broken condoms into account, researchers estimate that 17 percent of straight couples who rely on condoms will become pregnant in any given year. Not all withdrawers use withdrawal perfectly, either—amazingly enough, some guys get distracted and forget to pull out as their orgasms approach—but the research shows that just 18 percent of straight couples who use withdrawal will get pregnant in any given year.
So odds are good that you’re not infertile, SFMi, just lucky.
I’m a young lesbian. I recently met a girl who’s cute, and I think we’re on the likely-to-have-sex-soon track. The thing is, she confided in me that she’s participated in needle play in dungeon-party situations. I’m not someone who is turned off by kinkiness just ’cause it’s kinky, but it seems like even “safe” needle play is a recipe for STI transmission unless you’re playing with trained medical professionals. She says she gets tested regularly, but still, would it be really risky for me to sleep with her?
Enthusiastic Reader
Every time I’ve watched needle play in a dungeon-party situation—watched with my hands clamped over my eyes, peeking through the small spaces between my fingers—no one was being stuck with rusty needles by dirty-handed brutes. All the public needle-play scenes I’ve witnessed were ostentatiously sterile affairs: These kinksters, some of whom were trained medical professionals, made a big show of using alcohol wipes, cotton swabs, latex gloves, and clean sharps. I think it’s fair to ask this girl for more information about her blood and needle experiences, about the safety precautions that her partners took, and about how recently she was tested. But rest assured, ER, that the most effective STI transmission routes involve sticking dicks in people in completely vanilla situations, not clean needles in dungeon-party situations.
Here’s some information for MILK, the man who is aroused by the thought of being sprayed with his wife’s breast milk: It is common for newly lactating women to experience strong “milk ejection reflexes” during sex. This is induced by the hormone oxytocin, which is released during labor and orgasm, and when the milk “lets down” during breast-feeding. In other words: New mothers often spray milk when they get off. Most women are embarrassed when this happens, but at least MILK’s wife will know the first time it happens that her husband isn’t going to freak out about it.
Breast-feeding Educator’s Sex Tips
Thanks for sharing, BEST.
CONFIDENTIAL TO AMERICAN LADIES: Republicans took the House of Representatives after campaigning on jobs, debt, and taxes. But it’s been nonstop assaults on Planned Parenthood and reproductive freedom ever since. The GOP is always going on and on about how they want to shrink the size of government, and now we know why: They want to stuff the government in your vagina.
CONFIDENTIAL TO CANADIAN EVERYBODIES: Please go to www.shitharperdid.com, have a laugh, and then do what you can to send Stephen Harper packing or, failing that, deny him a majority. Pretty please?
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
@SFMi : I was told by a specialist in fertility treatments they consider a couple needs help only if, after 2 years of daily sex ending in semen in vagina, no pregnancy occurs.
Pregnancy is really random : it may happen at the first full intercourse, it may take up to 2 years, while still being normal. So, nothing to worry about in your case.
I’m voting in an historically strong Liberal riding that went Conservative in the last election by a very small margin. While it’s going to come down to the Liberals or the Tories in that riding, I’m voting NDP. I considered casting a strategic Liberal vote just to hurt the Tories’ chance of winning another riding, but I love Jack Layton too much not to vote for him. And Iggy’s too big of a douche.
@48 : I agree with you about condom slipping, that happened twice to my partner, before he understood that he had to wipe my lady fluids of his cucumber first. Condom breaking, never.
off his cucumber.
Please please please, Canada, send Harper packing.
This man is possibly one of the scariest men in Canada; every bit as batshit as the southern baptists, but shrewd enough to engage in the worst type of incremental conservatism. If he has his way Canada will become far right of Bush era America.
If you are Canadian and a proponent of Women’s rights, LGBTQ rights, Human Rights, Sane harm reduction policy, sane criminal justice policy and an economic policy that doesn’t involve turning Canada into a Saudi-style oil monarchy, please send Harper a message and vote… for anyone else.
Amanda@52
I agree…Iggy is a douche…really don’t want him getting in either…
While HIV may not be easily transmitted from a rimjob, the same cannot be said of other viruses. Hepatitis is readily transmitted and I feel it is irresponsible not to mention when answering that question.
While rimjobs may be safe regarding HIV transmission, there are plenty of other health concerns and viruses that can be transmitted. I think it is irresponsible not to mention concerns of hepatitis, for example, when answering that question. Many HIV patients are infected with hepatitis as well, so rimjobs should not be undertaken unless HIVs partern has been tested.
When I was younger (and dumber), a boyfriend and I had unprotected sex without even using withdrawal for a year and a half before I finally got pregnant. And no, we weren’t trying to get pregnant. Hence the dumb part. Suffice to say, I guess we just hadn’t done it right when my egg was ready and waiting up until that point.
vennominon at 30 is advocating suckoff socialism, it seems: if you have lots of something good then you must be obliged to hand them over to somebody who they feel deserves it more. 😉
@ 45 – The funny thing is, slidebone doesn’t seem to know much about Canadian politics either. Which is probably why his/her arguments are of the “Americans are ignorant” variety.
I’ll be doing my part to keep Harper from the majority.
@3 That’s interesting. I didn’t know that. So, basically, teenage bodies want to have babies!
For SFMi and any men who do not wish to impregnate women:
If you really want to actively avoid getting a woman pregnant, add a daily soak in a hot bath to your routine. A hot bath will kill sperm, making you temporarily infertile. To reverse the infertility, stop taking the hot baths and wear boxers. Easy, inexpensive and effective!
@6: NO NO NO. This is potentially-dangerous misinformation. HIV can (possibly) infect epidermal cells – the jury’s still out, as there are conflicting studies on the role of Langerhans cells. As far as we know, the mucous membranes of the penis (in the foreskin, and possibly in the portion that remains after circumcision in circumcised men) and vagina provide a vector for HIV transmission even without tearing, though it’s a less-effective vector than HIV-containing fluid coming into contact with the blood stream.
See: http://www.scientificamerican.com/articl…
And: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Langerhans_…
That said, semen or blood contact with the unbroken epidermis (in most places on the body) is basically no-risk, and there have been almost no confirmed cases of oral HIV transmission (the ones that are confirmed involved people with cuts or sores in the oral cavity).
Hormonal birth control sucks (and kills your sex drive). But take hope! If you absolutely aren’t ready for a child and would strongly prefer to avoid an abortion, get an IUD. Sure you will have heavier periods and a bit more cramping the first few months, but you’ll be enjoying your resurgent sex drive so much you’ll hardly notice.
IUDs have a bad rap but every woman I’ve known to take the leap and get one has been thrilled with the choice.
@66 you are right, 6 is confused and dangerously wrong. HIV is a blood disease sure, but it infects cd4 cells, or T helper cells, which are White blood cells. White blood cells are not restricted to blood, they are excreteted at all mucous membranes and into most body fluids. There are certainly thought to be exposed cd4 receptors below the glans of the penis and on the inside of the foreskin. (Although the evidence that transmission rates are lower in circumcised men is tenuous at best)
There is also very convincing evidence that having additional stds massively raises your chance of contracting HIV. So get yourself and partner checked very regularly.
Dan’s advice is spot on.
@20, exactly what part of my comment ticked you off? I’m not buying into any BS propaganda about any form of birth control, I was simply voicing my complete surprise that the withdrawal method is still used and effective.
feliquid@34, I read the article you cited, but their stats on FAM were poor. They lumped together “rhythm-, calendar-, mucus-, and temperature-methods,” along with “periodic abstinence or natural family planning.” (p4) And even so, they only found 236 such respondents, compared with 2500 on the pill and 3800 using condoms. (p.16)
FAM is a highly effective way of preventing or promoting pregnancy, but you have to chart (daily) at least two of the following: basal body temperature, cervical mucus, and cervical position. (And you have to avoid PIV sex or use another form of birth control during your fertile days.) If respondents thought that by counting days since their last period, they knew when they’d be fertile, that’s not using FAM. That’s like people using water balloons for condoms.
Wiki says: “several studies have found actual failure rates of 2-3% per year,” though I haven’t checked their sources. For neurotic, educated people, I think it’s reasonable to think results would be like the pill in effectiveness. Of course, like the pill, FAM doesn’t provide any protection against STIs.
@45
Well, except for the insults, you have made an argument (without actually addressing any of my arguments).
But, yes, Harper needs to be transparent. Just keep in mind that the (Sponsorship Scandal) Liberals are the likely alternative. So explain just why I should hate on Harper relative to the alternatives.
I think Harper has some bad policies, like his tough-on-crime agenda. It’s a stupid policy. But the other parties are quite bad on this too. Inmate abuse at prison facilities exists right now. Access to justice is a joke. The programs to reintegrate inmates into society don’t work. And even though the Harper government wants mandatory minimums, in fact, the system encourages a pattern where the same guys keep getting incarcerated and are in effect permanently in institutions anyways.
None of the parties have solutions to these problems. So, again, I don’t like Harper’s policy, but sorry, he is not a villain when compared to the other candidates.
Sites like Shitharperdid are an insult to anyone with any critical faculties.
This kind of angry politics usually means that the real issues get ignored. And I see it as an American influence (think Triggers, teapartiers, birthers, truthers). Look at the anger that Mr. Savage stirs up when he wades into politics. We don’t need it.
@62
You say I don’t know much. But I make arguments and then support them with evidence.
You on the other hand, you make insulting claims, with no evidence or argument.
Are you arguing that Americans aren’t ignorant on Canadian politics? I mean, Rick Mercer had a regular bit where he documented US ignorance of Canada, with Mike Huckabee, GWB, and ordinary Americans as the victims. Obama wanted to “take a hammer” to the NAFTA until he found out that Canada was the US’s biggest trading partner. He literally had no idea.
Even Dan himself has said that he doesn’t know a lot about Canadian politics.
The reason why medical PROVIDERS don’t like to teach about withdrawal/fertility awareness is this: yes, there is sperm in the pre-ejaculate, and lots of women don’t have clear fertility signs or have irregular periods. I would consider myself a poor medical practitioner if I didn’t strongly encourage a woman who did not want to get pregnant to use something more reliable, such as the Pill, or even better, an IUD or implant.
Somehow, I don’t think that the LW and his girlfriend are trying NOT to get pregnant.
Sorry, FAM = fertility awareness methods
@67 Not disputing your experience, but the pill is great for me, doesn’t mess with my libido at all. What messes with my libido are the heavy, ten-day-long, irregular, painful periods I have when I’m off the pill.
@62 et al: Slidebone is clearly a Harper shill, a moron, or both. His grossly distorted representation @28 regarding the firing of Linda Keen demonstrates that.
As to the Canadian election, I urge any Canadian voter who is reading this and who is interested in preventing a Harper majority to visit the Catch 22 Campaign web site. This group has identified fifty key ridings where the incumbent – Tory or other party – is particularly vulnerable, and it provides strategic voting recommendations, based on poll results, to ensure the seat does not go to the Conservative candidate in this election.
Like it or not, with four parties in Parliament plus the Greens, we live in a time where strategic voting is essential. If you live in one of these ridings – or know someone who does – please think carefully before you cast your ballot. Staying ideologically pure and voting for a no-hoper will not make five years of a Harper majority any more enjoyable for you.
@67 I’m on Nuvaring and I love it. I cringe thinking about what life was like without it. My sister got her IUD removed after an ectopic pregnancy. Everybody’s different.
@ 71 – OK, I take that back, you’re just ignorant about politics in general. You take things at face value and thoroughly fail to see the hidden agenda. That’s so… Canadian in its naivety.
Your reading skills are also dubious – or perhaps it’s paranoia, a very Canadian trait due to an obvious national inferiority complex (Anglo Canadians feel inferior to the US, the Québécois feel inferior to the French) – but I never said that Americans know about Canadian politics. That would be silly. No one else in the WORLD cares about Canadian politics. It’s probably the single least talked about country in the international press.
What I meant was that if you can’t come up with better arguments than “Americans are ignorant”, then your capacity to argue intelligently is nil – at least on this subject.
By the way, before you go on a misguided rant, I’m not American.
I think pulling out should be a art form. It works!! Been doing it with my girl friend for years, she loves the sticky stuff all over her!!
WHY does this idiot want to have a baby with someone he isn’t married to? Marriage is too big of a committment but raising a child together is NOT? How disgusting to have such a lackadaisical attitude towards bringing another human being into the world who wil be COMPLETELY dependent on him: “Oh well if it happens it happens.” Sounds like another kid the taxpayers are going to end up paying for. I HOPE this dufus infertile!
Pulling out should be a art form. My girlfiend and I are always trying to come up with new ideas for money shots!!! I came up with new one last weekend. It should be fun.
BTW-It does work!!
oops !!! double post I thought the first got lost
As an aside, the podcast answer to the guy who didn’t want to keep dating the single mother with a kid: total fail, Mr. Savage.
Why the hell guilt trip a guy for not agreeing to raise another man’s child? Not. his. responsibility.
Move on, dude. Don’t let a gay advice columnist try to gender shame you (“man up”) into taking on a woman’s bad decisions about single motherhood.
As an aside, the podcast answer to the guy who didn’t want to keep dating the single mother with a kid: total fail, Mr. Savage.
Why the hell guilt trip a guy for not agreeing to raise another man’s child? Not. his. responsibility.
Move on, dude. Don’t let a gay advice columnist try to gender shame you (“man up”) into taking on a woman’s bad decisions about single motherhood.
@48, you should at least look at the provided link before asserting that @39’s comment lacks credibility. UCSF is one of the best biology research centers in the world, and even if you don’t understand their methodology (without even bothering to find out what it is!) it is still a credible study. Allow me to provide another source, from Columbia University, which I’m sure you will also not read: http://health.columbia.edu/files/healths…. This provides basic facts, including risks associated with fellatio. On the flip side, page 36 has a table that lists risks of infection from a single sexual encounter with an HIV-positive partner, and these risks are very low. Obviously, this doesn’t mean it’s okay for people to be reckless; it just illustrates that the HIV virus is not actually a very robust one.
If you take a little time each day to monitor various aspects of a woman’s body (waking temperature, viscosity of vaginal fluids, etc), you can tell exactly when she is ovulating.
That means you fuck without birth control during the entire time window between her period and the point of ovulation, and you can be extra careful once she’s ovulated.
Slidebone makes arguments and backs them up? Hardly.
“The Conservatives never get elected in Atlantic Canada”. Actually the Conservatives have MP’s from 3 of the 4 Atlantic provinces, the most prominent of whom is Peter Mackay (the Minister of Defence in the outgoing government, and extremely high profile). The lack of MP’s in the fourth is a historic anomaly because the Conservative government of that province campaigned against the federal Conservatives last election. In the current election, polls put the Conservatives in the lead in Atlantic Canada.
To put this in US context, the best analogy I can think of would be saying “the Republicans never get elected in California.” It’s just bizarre.
It’s not expected that GBLT rights will be an issue in the next parliament. However, the NDP were the first major (i.e. has elected MPs) party to support the right of gays to marry, it got passed when most of the Liberals came on board, and the Conservatives fought it until even some Conservatives were telling the others that the public were tired of them beating the dead horse. Further, there’s a fairly high profile gay politician (Scott Brison) who left the Conservatives and joined the Liberals because of the different attitudes towards gays among the two groups of politicians. I think I’d go with Scott Brison’s opinion on the GBLT-friendliness of the different parties over “Sliderule”‘s.
For abortion rights, I doubt that anyone will actively ban abortions for Canadian women in the near future. However, the Conservatives are fond of tying grants for foreign aid for NGO’s to restrictions that the NGO not use the money to provide abortions, a restriction that none of the other significant parties would want to make. No party is likely to ban abortions because doing so would get them wiped out in the next election. However, the Conservatives are a party that evangelical Christians can feel at home in, while the NDP are a party that women’s studies majors can feel at home in. The parties are definitely not the same.
As for Linda Keen, she was fired because she would have shut down an unsafe nuclear reactor, although shutting down that reactor would have reduced the production of isotopes used for medical purposes. It’s not one explanation or the other is true: both are true. The Conservatives gambled that technical problems at an unsafe reactor could be managed and, happily, they won their gamble. However, presenting the issue as if the production of medical isotopes was the only consideration is framing it in a way only a right-wing partisan would.
I think a safe overview is that, in practice, Harper governs to the left of Obama because Harper has to play to an electorate that’s far to the left of him. However, if Harper were in the States, he’d be completely comfortable among tea party types. If I had to choose between Prime Minister Huckabee and Prime Minister Harper, I’d pick Huckabee, as the lesser evil, in a heartbeat.
I stopped reading “Slidebone”‘s comments after the first one, the “Conservatives never get elected in Atlantic Canada” comment was just too ignorant to take the guy seriously any more. But I’d go with Dan’s knowledge of Canadian politics over his.
@85, yes, except for one huge caveat: you need to use another form of birth control for about 3 days before ovulation as well. That’s why you have to chart for a few months before relying on it: you need to be able to predict ovulation accurately, so you can avoid a window around it. (Unless you’re trying to GET pregnant, in which case you have to aim for that window.)
sex 1 day before ovulation = high likelihood of getting pregnant.
@20/21
I know people hate doctors a lot and stuff but give them a little slack.
1. Sex ed (maybe I’m biased because I’m Canadian) is generally taught to TEENAGERS who aren’t exactly fantastic at controlling when they ejaculate. Though mature adults who have been having sex for a while might be able to maintain “perfect use” of the withdrawl method (the fairly decent, but still less effective than condoms 4%) they are more likely to practice “imperfect use” which means roughly 1 in 5 getting pregnant. Another reason that condoms are suggested is because they protect against STIs. Again! For teenagers this is very important. For a married couple with kids it is (hopefully) not so important. Sex ed is taught with a teenager-centric slant, not a selling-condoms slant. Jeez.
2. I like how people are talking about the rhythm method like it’s a good idea. Maybe it’s effective but you have to not have sex while you’re ovulating OR on your period. That leaves… what like a third of the month to have sex? Besides, women are most likely to WANT to have sex WHEN they’re ovulating. And people think condoms take the fun out of sex?
Thanks, Backyard B, I’m going to figure out what riding my son is in (he just moved, somewhere between downtown and Burnaby…)
@88: To be fair, the rhythm method doesn’t mean no sex when you are ovulating; it means no penis-in-vagina when you are ovulating.
You call it ovulation. I call it “Blow Job Week!”
(And… no sex during your period? That’s just wrong.)
@89: try http://www.vancouversun.com/news/winners…
If he’s in Van East, that’s arguably the safest NDP riding in Canada, but if he’s actually in north Burnaby (Burnaby-Douglas), that’s a nailbiter between the NDP and the Conservatives.
@88/90 – you can’t use cervical mucus as a signal during your period, but if you’ve been charting a while you know how far away ovulation is, so (unless they are very irregular) most women could have PIV sex all but one week of the month — that window of a few days on each side of ovulation.
Also, please don’t call FAM the rhythm method: the rhythm method is an ineffective calendar-based method, just counting days. FAM involves reading your body, not the calendar.
Of course you can have PIV sex even during the fertile window; you just need to use condoms then.
FWIW, I used FAM/charting to get pregnant, once my fertility had declined (in my 30s) so it wasn’t as easy as just stopping birth control. If it weren’t for my deep and enduring love of the pill I would totally continue charting. I highly recommend that anyone who is not on hormonal birth control try charting for a few months, just to see what it’s all about. Just print out a few copies of the chart at http://www.plannedparenthood.org/files/P… and get a special basal thermometer ($10 @Amazon), and you’re all set to learn how your body works and when it is fertile.
Glad to see someone giving the facts about withdrawal. The bf and I have been using it for 17 months without mishap (well, except for semen in his eye that one time, but that’s not really relevant here.) It really depends on how much discipline and awareness the guy has – I would never recommend it to teenagers or anyone sexually inexperienced, and I’d recommend having emergency contraception around in case of an “oops.” All the reliable sources I’ve read say that there’s no viable sperm in pre-come, but that if he’s come recently there may still be viable sperm hanging around from that.
Hi EricaP! Good point about that survey data I posted; I clearly didn’t read it closely enough to prevent a case of foot-in-mouth.
I have fallen further down the PubMed rabbit hole, though:
The most-effective study I found was from Germany [ see table VII from http://www.familienplanung-natuerlich.de… ], where if the symptothermic (STM) method of FAM was used perfectly (defined as either abstinence or condom use in the fertile time), rate of pregnancy was 0.4-0.5% per year. However, if there was imperfect use (either unprotected sex or intermittent condom use during the fertile time), pregnancy rates jumped to 2.2-7.5%. This imperfect use rate of STM does compare favorably to imperfect use of the pill, for instance.
However, if you look at figure 4, of the 900 women who started the study, 466 women (51.8%) dropped out of the study by 13 cycles (one year, roughly). 9.2% of the total had dropped out by that time due to dissatisfaction with the method (table VII), 6.73% were lost to followup, and the remaining 35.9% left the study for other reasons. As the authors of the German study say, “The markedly high use-effectiveness rates of our
data may partly be explained by the motivation of those couples and their teachers who agreed to participate in the study.” That’s a really high dropout rate…the fantastic numbers they cite would not have survived intention-to-treat analysis.
The German authors go on to say, “When comparing different methods of family planning, method effectiveness rates are more frequently quoted than the use-effectiveness rates which are strongly dependent on the selection of the study population.”
As an example of how success with STM varies by population, there’s another study from California that showed a failure rate of 16.6% at one year–higher than the pill. It had a similar dropout rate of >50%.
[ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/70256… ]
I don’t have a primary care practice anymore, but if a woman asked me about pregnancy prevention, I would talk about both withdrawal and the symptothermic method as viable options for preventing pregnancy; as the numbers show, they can be better than no method. As others have pointed out above, every woman is different–some find that hormones kill their libidoes, others have a higher-than-typical risk of blood clots, some want permanent sterilization, others have philosophical or religious values that help them decide against pills/IUDs/surgery…. My job is to help my patients share with me the factors that influence their decisions, and then to share with them the data they need to help make decisions. That’s pretty much it.
Old Crow, I just entered his postal code, and it says Vancouver Kingsway…still NDP?
Backyard B, “blow job week,”….niiice. 😉
@48 Dan Filson –
No-thank-you for that ad hominem attack. If you want to know my credentials, why not ask me?
FYI, I’m an attending physician, board-certified in internal medicine, at a large urban teaching hospital. I do not have special training in HIV–though I do take care of many HIV+ patients–but I absolutely can review studies, extract data, and form conclusions, because that’s my job and I’ve been trained to do it.
@90
You got me! I admit it, I’m all about the PIV sex, since it’s how I get off (fancy that).
I think every week should be blowjob week – but not because I’m not allowed to get off, that’s no fun.
I don’t like to have sex when I’m on my period! We accept all kinds of deviants but not the kind who like cleanliness when they’re getting dirty? Come on now…
My birth control/preference combo means that only one week out of three months (or 8% of the time) is PIV-free. Which I like!
@97: I’d stick with the NDP in Vancouver-Kingsway. (And I suppose I could have gone with “Oral Week” – never meant to suggest things couldn’t go both ways.)
@99: Don’t look at it as a “can’t get off” week – look at it as “find new ways to get off” week instead.
My wife and I used withdrawal for 2 months- BAM!- baby #3. We tried for baby #1 for 1 month. Baby #2 we tried for 2 months. We must be really fertile, because I withdrew pretty well every time during that 2 months. Baby #3 is quite a miracle…