Fact: Any breed of dog is capable of attacking a human. But 56 percent of all fatal dog attacks in the United States in the past five years were committed by pit bulls, according to a report released last week by the organization DogsBite.org. “During the 1980s and 1990s, fatal dog attacks averaged 17 per year. The death-by-dog-bite rate now is nearly double this amount at over 30 per year and largely due to pit bulls,” the group says. The tips below can be used against any breed of dog that happens to attack, up to and including the pit bull. (And to those who claim that humans’ anxiety about pit bull attacks is fostering an environment where pit bulls are subliminally encouraged to attack: I will not discuss matters of human culpability and mind-reading pit bulls because YOU ARE INSANE.)
“Trying to make friends with strange dogs is not a good idea,” says David Wiley, a Seattle dog behavioral therapist with BarkBusters.com. “Don’t try to pay attention to a dog in a car or behind a fence—even friendly dogs can be territorial.”
Never let yummy little kids—who make sudden, startling, unpredictable movements—anywhere near unleashed pit bulls.
If you find yourself on what feels like the verge of being attacked: “Don’t run—the movement can make the dog more excited and chase you. Stand completely still and cross your hands in front of you. Don’t make direct eye contact, which can come across as a challenge. Don’t turn your back, as it may embolden the dog. Just stand still. Once the dog loses interest, back away,” says Wiley.
So you’ve stood still and avoided eye contact, and still the dog in question shows signs of dangerous aggression. If you can get yourself somewhere higher than the ground, do it. If you can stand on a car, stand on a car. (You can worry about possibly denting a stranger’s hood and roof later—just get the fuck up there.)
If there’s no car or any other higher level handy, “don’t try to defend yourself, just protect yourself,” says Emily Keegans, behavior program manager at the Seattle Humane Society. “That basically means to get down on the ground, pull your knees to your chest, clasp your hands behind your neck, put your elbows around your face.” This play-dead-while-defending-your- tender-face-and-lap-bits approach is seconded by Wiley: “Stillness is the best thing. If a dog gets its teeth into you, fighting back can make things worse.”
There’s nothing as low drama as spraying the animal with a pain-inducing repellent. If your life regularly takes you through areas populated with dogs, get Mace (or pepper spray, or citronella). Do it now, because all other “fighting back” options are nauseatingly violent. Butch’s Gun Shop on Aurora Avenue sells a small container of Mace for around $12, while REI sells an eight-ounce “bear spray” for $30.
Is there something heavy you can grab? A rock, a brick, a boom box? If so, smash it against the dog’s head until it retreats or loses consciousness.
Or can you or someone else grab the attacking dog’s legs? If so, yank them apart to break the dog’s knees.
If that’s not possible, choke it. Don’t straddle the dog, but get into a position with the bony part of your forearm against its throat and put pressure on the windpipe “for at least 30 seconds until the dog is unconscious and has stopped struggling,” says self-defense specialist Charles Prosper.
Is choking not in the cards? Do you have something to wrap around your arm? Say, a jacket? If so, wrap it around your nondominant arm and let the dog bite it. Then fall on top of the fucker and dig your fingers into its eyes. Don’t stop until the dog’s a whimpering mass of blindness, then get yourself to safety. 
The follow-up: How to Defeat Someone Made Furious by ‘How to Defeat a Pit Bull with Your Bare Hands.’
This is the best the stranger can do? What are you the Christian Science Monitor now? I have an idea, how about banning ghetto ass mother fuckers (black AND white) from having pits – problem solved
Expect mindlessly reactionary blogs to freak out over this. Don’t be surprised if your e-mail inbox is filled with vague threats and photos of doe-eyed Pitmonster puppies.
This makes me sad to be a Stranger reader.
As someone who has been chased by pitbulls twice (luckily the owners were able to contain them both times) this is relevant to my interests.
@4, Yeah, I particularly like the illo for #5: looks like the pitbull is smiling at the human’s vain effort at survival!
You people are completely out of ideas, aren’t you?
Really, guys?
“How to Defeat a Hipster with Your Bare Hands” would be more useful.
As someone who has been chased by pitbulls twice (luckily the owners were able to contain them both times) this is relevant to my interests.
Pit bulls steal land from Palestinians!
Oh my god! This is the greatest article ever!
When I was 13 years old I was attacked by a rottweiller. Luckily I was an experienced wrestler having competed for two years already. I was able to get on the dogs back and wrap my legs around it’s stomach and put the dog in a choke hold then rolled onto my back so the dogs legs were in the air, then I choked it until it passed out. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever encountered. Still gives me chills thinking about how close I came to having my face chewed off.
@8 Point behind them and shout “Oh look! Animal Collective is playing an ironic, off-key impromtu show!” and then punch them in their PBR-addled skull.
Seriously though, fuck Animal Collective.
@8 – Please write that. (:=
Nothing better to write about or just hit writer’s block? Typical. Sad indeed to be a reader.
It’s always surprised me how little info there is on self-defense against canine attackers compared to humans.
One point to add – if the dog is wearing a collar, grab it and start twisting until it relaxes, goes unconscious, or dies of strangulation.
Also, playing dead is probably going to get you killed if your attacker is a gladiator breed in the red zone. Best way to protect your jugular and face is to stay on your feet.
@12 – Seconded
@13 If Dan or Christopher let me, I totally would.
“Option 5: If confronted by a hipster, break their black glasses. They may bite, so use nearby blunt objects to avoid the range of their mouths, as infection may result from contact with lip piercings. You will have a 50/50 chance of escape here, as studies have shown only 50% of hipsters have a need for corrective emo glasses.”
@13 If Dan or Christopher let me, I totally would.
“Option 5: If confronted by a hipster, break their black glasses. They may bite, so use nearby blunt objects to avoid the range of their mouths, as infection may result from contact with lip piercings. You will have a 50/50 chance of escape here, as studies have shown only 50% of hipsters have a need for corrective emo glasses.”
@13 If Dan or Christopher let me, I totally would.
“Option 5: If confronted by a hipster, break their black glasses. They may bite, so use nearby blunt objects to avoid the range of their mouths, as infection may result from contact with lip piercings. You will have a 50/50 chance of escape here, as studies have shown only 50% of hipsters have a need for corrective emo glasses.”
I have NO idea why that posted three times. I got whacked with a Proxy error from the Stranger Server the first and only time I hit submit.
this article is fucking great
@21 nails it. There’s a reason this dog was our mascot in WWI and WWII, and was used as Petey in Little Rascals and Our Gang. They’re a good breed, but any breed in the hands of idiots is dangerous. A Yorkie could be trained to be as vile as any attack pit bull (admittedly, defending against a Crazed Yorkie would only be as hard as your ability to kick a football).
The best option is to shove your hand down its mouth as far as possible. The dog will not be able to bite you while you do this. It will be stunned and choking. Then, expand your hand, turn your outstretched hand towards you in a motion similar to constricting a bag and clasp firmly. Pull with great force.
The pit bull will be half inside out.
No one will ever mess with you again for the rest of your days.
Thirty deaths per year in the entire country. Thirty. And your assertion is that pit bulls have added about 15 to that otherwise unremarkable total.
To put that in perspective, in the United States, there are about 60 deaths per year from lightning strikes. Bees kill about 50 Americans per year. About 120 people are killed every year when their car hits a deer.
Dogs are societally problematic for a lot of reasons; they spread disease, dog owners manage their dogs poorly, and occasionally they attack people, which is scary and creates a general public nuisance. Write about that, instead of writing about the dog-related problem that someone is least likely to have.
Again, like the meth thing — you guys are just engaging in a bullshit scare campaign.
I run nearly every morning around the Greenlake/Ravenna/Wedgewood area and in the past 4 years I have been nearly attacked by three pit bulls. And these are pit bulls that are supposed to be well trained, well cared for and owned by nice people. And on those 3 occasions I have used pepper spray when the animal began to charge at me.
Pit Bulls need to be banned. Pure and simple. Owning a Pit Bull is the dog owner example of a gun owner feeling they have a right to own a semi-automatic rifle.
56 percent of all fatal dog attacks in the United States in the past five years were committed by pit bulls.
Well, maybe. But the people probably deserved it. They were probably guilty of something. They had to be since pit bulls are actually angels put on Earth by Jesus.
Rad. The Stranger now advocates beating dogs? Or assuming that because a dog looks a certain way that it’s ok to kick the shit out of it? Whatevs. Pit Bulls are strong. So are Rots, so are Labradors, so are St. Bernards, so are Huskies, so are German Shepherds, so are any number of large dogs. Hell, Dobermans got popular in the 80s and were tough-guy dogs back then (and everybody claimed that they were too dangerous to live).
The problem isn’t the breed, it’s animal abuse and/or gross negligence on the part of the owner. If you were to instantly vaporize all of the Pit Bulls in the US trailer trash everywhere would just move on to another breed and we’d all be wringing our hands over German Shepherds (which used to be Alsatian Wolf Dogs before a PR move to change their name in 1977).
I have a pit bill in my neighborhood that gets loose now and then scaring the crap out of people. So I got mace to keep handy.
When looking up what to buy I read that pepper spray and mace used on people do not work so well with dogs, especially pit bulls. Supposedly the tear ducts are different and one needs the mace made for dogs. I got one called “the muzzle” and hopefully I won’t have to put it to the test.
Could be advertising bullshit and both sprays are the exact same. . .but wanted to mention it in case it’s true and there actually is a difference.
Also, when reading the users testimonies on the muzzle, a few people said the muzzle spray didn’t work on red zone pit bulls. Plain ol’ riled up/aggressive pit bulls and the other breeds it did work fine.
As a paperboy in the 70’s, I found a water pistol filled with water & ammonia works very nice. Aim for eyes, nose & mouth.
this is really great i love how its gonna piss off a bunch of uptight dog lovers. would have liked to see a real article and not just a shorty but whatever
Nothing in this article is specific to pit bulls. The article could have just as easily been titled: “How to defeat an aggressive dog with your bare hands.” Calling out Pit Bulls specifically in the title is clearly just a shock tactic.
Animals are like people – they’ve got different personalities, and many of them are assholes. If a dog (or a person) makes a violent attack on me, I would not hesitate to do whatever was needed to stop the attack.
@25
30 deaths a year, maybe, but just shy of 800,000 emergency room visits, and more than 4.5 million bites. http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml…
The danger is real.
@25
30 deaths a year, maybe, but just shy of 800,000 emergency room visits, and more than 4.5 million bites. http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml…
The danger is real.
@25
30 deaths a year, maybe, but just shy of 800,000 emergency room visits, and more than 4.5 million bites. http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml…
The danger is real.
@morrolan That’s total horseshit since your link is about dog bites in general, not pit bulls.
Your equating it there would make it sound like pit bulls roam the street en masse like extras in a George Romero film, attacking and biting every human in sight.
Nothing like giving into mainstream sensationalism and scare tactics. How about an article on how to fend off violence perpetrated by a loved one. That is more relevant and may save more lives, emergency room visits, etc. Very disappointed to be a reader right now.
Also: Wear heavy boots and aim for the neck. A good kick to the neck can lift it off of all four feet, spin it onto its back, and collapse the windpipe. I had to do this in Bend once. A very spooky, barbaric feeling afterward. Like I had just faced down mortal danger and kicked its ass. I’m glad I was sober at the time.
Wow, gee.
Would there happen to be any representatives from the UNITED FRONT TO CRUSH ANY RESERVATIONS PEOPLE MAY HAVE ABOUT PIT BULLS AND DEFEND PIT BULLS AT ALL COSTS posting in this forum today?
@35
If you read the whole page you just linked to from the CDC, at the bottom they refer you to resources on how to prevent dog bites. Primarily the AVMA’s Community approach to dog bite preventio… (PDF).
Wherein you will learn all the many reasons why breed bans, or any focus on dog breeds, does not work, and instead efforts should be on education, neutering, enforcement, and so on. Articles like this Stranger thing are the opposite of education, by the way. Disinformation, I think, is the word for it.
So you’re right. The CDC is concerned about 800,000 ER visits per year over dog bites, and they, along with the American Veterinary Medical Association, have determined that going bananas over pit bulls is not the solution.
Maybe there’s a few of us out there that grew up knowing how to handle animals. Frankly people that walk around scared of dogs are weak and should not be taken seriously, kind of like Lindy West’s movie reviews.
What’s next–an article on how not to be hit by PIT BULL lightning? Or maybe one on how to survive a PIT BULL plane crash? Or maybe how to survive an assassination attempt by a PIT BULL. Hey, how about METH DEALERS with PIT BULLs–knock off two in one.
For the record, no, I don’t own a big dangerous dog of any breed and never have. But The Stranger is usually against that mainstream media fear-flaming bullshit type of story, so it was kinda surprising to see it here. That’s all.
What’s next–an article on how not to be hit by PIT BULL lightning? Or maybe one on how to survive a PIT BULL plane crash? Or maybe how to survive an assassination attempt by a PIT BULL. Hey, how about METH DEALERS with PIT BULLs–knock off two in one.
For the record, no, I don’t own a big dangerous dog of any breed and never have. But The Stranger is usually against that mainstream media fear-flaming bullshit type of story, so it was kinda surprising to see it here. That’s all.
What an utterly random article.
Are ratings sagging? I’m beginning to think that this is a premeditated strategy to show advertisers how popular the website is. One sure fire way to drum up traffic and comments is to insult people’s dogs…
This is perfect and helpful.
Sure, sure, pit bulls can be totally sweet dogs. But they can also be fucking monsters.
On a more serious note I do own a large breed, a Dogue de Bordeaux. You have to be a committed owner and socialize/train your dog especially the more aggressive ones. It seems most people buy pits to compensate for their small winky. The breed is not for inexperienced owners.
A word of advice, NEVER back a hipster into a corner. They are especially vicious then.
Only 47 comments? C’mon Pitfools, you’re letting us all down.
Why didn’t Dominic Holden write this, since he and his brother are members of Dogsbite.org ? Conflict of interest?
Why a study of five years? Was it the only way to bump the stats to 50%?
Check out that site..it is SO FUNNY..falsified stats and omitted attacks…I’m glad it was referenced so readers can see what loonies the Dogsbite people are:)
According to 2009 stats, pits are responsible for 20% and labs 17% and Rotties 15% of fatal attacks
Dogsbite won’t tell you this bc an active DB member (Sandy) has Rotties and they dare not upset lab owners.
Anyone with half a brain can see that attack stats are high for pitties and labs as they are POPULAR/greatest in numbers among the dog pop.
Anyway, check out the dbsite for a chuckle:)
Why didn’t Dominic Holden write this, since he and his brother are members of Dogsbite.org ? Conflict of interest?
Why a study of five years? Was it the only way to bump the stats to 50%?
Check out that site..it is SO FUNNY..falsified stats and omitted attacks…I’m glad it was referenced so readers can see what loonies the Dogsbite people are:)
According to 2009 stats, pits are responsible for 20% and labs 17% and Rotties 15% of fatal attacks
Dogsbite won’t tell you this bc an active DB member (Sandy) has Rotties and they dare not upset lab owners.
Anyone with half a brain can see that attack stats are high for pitties and labs as they are POPULAR/greatest in numbers among the dog pop.
Anyway, check out the dbsite for a chuckle:)
What a cruel, alarmist piece of crap. Not to mention the obvious problems with the “data” this piece was hooked to.
I love you Stranger, but I tossed this issue straight into the trash. Doesn’t deserve to be recycled.
Yes, really great article on how to beat the shit out of an animal. I’m hoping to start up a “dog defense” class where I get animal shelter dogs and practice beating the crap out of them.
Now can you write another article on how to defend oneself against the dogfighting ringleader, after I just killed his dog?