Fact: Any breed of dog is capable of attacking a human. But 56 percent of all fatal dog attacks in the United States in the past five years were committed by pit bulls, according to a report released last week by the organization DogsBite.org. “During the 1980s and 1990s, fatal dog attacks averaged 17 per year. The death-by-dog-bite rate now is nearly double this amount at over 30 per year and largely due to pit bulls,” the group says. The tips below can be used against any breed of dog that happens to attack, up to and including the pit bull. (And to those who claim that humans’ anxiety about pit bull attacks is fostering an environment where pit bulls are subliminally encouraged to attack: I will not discuss matters of human culpability and mind-reading pit bulls because YOU ARE INSANE.)
“Trying to make friends with strange dogs is not a good idea,” says David Wiley, a Seattle dog behavioral therapist with BarkBusters.com. “Don’t try to pay attention to a dog in a car or behind a fence—even friendly dogs can be territorial.”
Never let yummy little kids—who make sudden, startling, unpredictable movements—anywhere near unleashed pit bulls.
If you find yourself on what feels like the verge of being attacked: “Don’t run—the movement can make the dog more excited and chase you. Stand completely still and cross your hands in front of you. Don’t make direct eye contact, which can come across as a challenge. Don’t turn your back, as it may embolden the dog. Just stand still. Once the dog loses interest, back away,” says Wiley.
So you’ve stood still and avoided eye contact, and still the dog in question shows signs of dangerous aggression. If you can get yourself somewhere higher than the ground, do it. If you can stand on a car, stand on a car. (You can worry about possibly denting a stranger’s hood and roof later—just get the fuck up there.)
If there’s no car or any other higher level handy, “don’t try to defend yourself, just protect yourself,” says Emily Keegans, behavior program manager at the Seattle Humane Society. “That basically means to get down on the ground, pull your knees to your chest, clasp your hands behind your neck, put your elbows around your face.” This play-dead-while-defending-your- tender-face-and-lap-bits approach is seconded by Wiley: “Stillness is the best thing. If a dog gets its teeth into you, fighting back can make things worse.”
There’s nothing as low drama as spraying the animal with a pain-inducing repellent. If your life regularly takes you through areas populated with dogs, get Mace (or pepper spray, or citronella). Do it now, because all other “fighting back” options are nauseatingly violent. Butch’s Gun Shop on Aurora Avenue sells a small container of Mace for around $12, while REI sells an eight-ounce “bear spray” for $30.
Is there something heavy you can grab? A rock, a brick, a boom box? If so, smash it against the dog’s head until it retreats or loses consciousness.
Or can you or someone else grab the attacking dog’s legs? If so, yank them apart to break the dog’s knees.
If that’s not possible, choke it. Don’t straddle the dog, but get into a position with the bony part of your forearm against its throat and put pressure on the windpipe “for at least 30 seconds until the dog is unconscious and has stopped struggling,” says self-defense specialist Charles Prosper.
Is choking not in the cards? Do you have something to wrap around your arm? Say, a jacket? If so, wrap it around your nondominant arm and let the dog bite it. Then fall on top of the fucker and dig your fingers into its eyes. Don’t stop until the dog’s a whimpering mass of blindness, then get yourself to safety. 
The follow-up: How to Defeat Someone Made Furious by ‘How to Defeat a Pit Bull with Your Bare Hands.’
For the record, Federal Army & Navy Surplus on 1st Ave carries pepper spray (better than mace, look it up). 7 bucks and tax gets you a half ounce canister, good for a couple sprays. This stuff is stronger than what the cops use, so one spray is all you’d need. And yeah, I’m an employee shilling for my store.
This is a very interesting, instigatory, and satirical article. It’s also productive, and thank you for that!
A lot of popular dog breeds were intended for hunting, tracking, killing vermin, or guarding. They were bred to be tools and in the city are treated like family. A non-dog person shouldn’t be expected to anticipate their actions, but should have easy information about how to handle them.
Leash Law: If you’re uncomfortable with dogs off leash, avoid areas where that takes place. If offleash is happening where it isn’t allowed and it poses a problem for you, contact the authority in charge of that area and tell them.
Body Language: Dogs often respond to motion-
i.e., whizzy, exuberant, high speed. Joggers, cyclists and skateboarders need to be aware of that, especially if you’re noisy or if you’re on a sidewalk and a dog-walker has nowhere else to go.
Dogs aren’t mind readers, but they ARE body readers. If you appear hostile or threatened, your posture will show it. Be cool. You also smell different when you’re stressed out.
Having been attacked by a dog myself a couple of years ago I appreciate a good how-to in self defense. That being said, I think the stigma around “dangerous pit bulls” is way overblown. Why not focus instead on the idiot owners that promote violence in these poor creatures. They’re the ones that should be put down.
@50, @51 – Link, or it’s not true.
Here — Copy & paste this into the comment area:
(Alarmist, Straw-Man Argument in Response to Legitimate Public Safety Concern)
There, I hope that saved someone some effort.
I used to run in an obscure western fringe area of Griffith Park in the Hollywood Hills — rustic dirt roads etc. These fairly prosperous middle aged pseudo bohemian types would stand around yakking on the road while their dogs ran free, a violation of posted leash laws. When I approached the people, the big dogs reacted as if thinking I was a threat to their owners. I had to slow to a walk to avoid provoking the dogs to attack me. The dogs would always walk right up to me as I walked past the owners, the dogs sometimes making contact with me. The obliviously selfish dog owners could not understand why I was peeved by their imposition on my freedom to run in the public park, thinking my own thoughts, instead of stopping to calculate the odds of being mindlessly injured by a beast. Whatever they want to do is supposed to be okay with everyone else. They expected me to be satisfied with their assurances that their big dogs won’t attack. But there was nothing (like a leash in use) to prevent it if the dogs had their own ideas. The owners expected me to serenely gamble my chance of injury on their worthless spoken words. I equated to “What if I want to swing a sharp blade within inches of your skin, telling you to ‘Relax, because I won’t touch you’?? Would you be A-OK with that??”
In this case, the selfish jerk dog owners were not trailer trash or ethnic minorities or the teen blasting his car stereo. Nope, they were middle aged middle class white people (like me).
@58 http://www.kcdogblog.com
http://www.canineresearchcouncil.com
or Google Canine Aggression Issues with Jim Crosby
also http://www.cdc.org
@50
You’re absolutely correct. I’ve worked with dogs for years and have seen literally hundreds of pit bull type dogs in my life and at the clinics I’ve worked. In all those years, I’ve only known of one that was truly a vicious dog.
Pit bulls, like any other large terrier, are going to have a higher tendency towards dog aggression, and be more assertive. As such, they aren’t really for the inexperienced dog owner, but for someone with common sense, they are fine dogs. There really isn’t anything that unique about their behavior–other breeds have the same behavioral traits, they just aren’t as popular.
Largely, however, pit bulls are the current darling dogs of the stupidest people on earth. I know–I’ve met them. I have met some of the absolute dumbest pit bull owners out there, and I was only shocked they hadn’t been bitten or killed by their dogs sooner.
In the hands of most decent people (which is a sizable portion of the population now–pit bulls are everywhere), they are just fine. In the hands of idiots, they are a problem. It’s no point banning them, though, another breed would just take their place.
For people that walk, run, or ride a bike, being attacked by a strangers dog is a real concern. If you live in the city and drive your car everywhere, you probably don’t have to worry about it very much. Since I like to ride a bike and walk a lot, I have had numerous, terrifying experiences with dogs and I appreciate the advice.
Many of these where in rural areas where the owners of the dogs were nowhere in sight. It always amazes me how clueless dog owners can be about the issue, even when they are a few feet away.
If you walk or ride a bike a lot, being attacked by a strangers dog is a real issue. If you live in the city and drive a car everywhere you might not think about it very much. I have had a lot of terrifying experiences with dogs and I appreciate the advice. Many of the times I have been attacked have been in rural areas where the owners were nowhere in sight. You may love your dog, but to a stranger who is about to be mauled, it is the same as any other wild animal. Would you fight a cougar or a shark if it attacked you? Hell yes.
Where is #7?
Shove your arm down the beasts throat and pull out its insides. I was attacked by a cruel dog years ago and I can personally attest to this working.
Oh, I miss read the headline, I thought it said Republican, my bad. I don’t have an arguement now.
Oh, I miss read the headline, I thought it said Republican, my bad. I don’t have an arguement now.
Oh, I miss read the headline, I thought it said Republican, my bad. I don’t have an arguement now.
Oh, I miss read the headline, I thought it said Republican, my bad. I don’t have an arguement now.
Oh, I miss read the headline, I thought it said Republican, my bad. I don’t have an arguement now.
Pit Bulls are actually friendly loving creatures that happen to express their love by maiming you. The best thing you can do while that is happenning is pet their teeth GENTLY, you insensitve assholes.
I’m not going to pretend I have an opinion on breed bans or what to do with an over-bred, aggressive species of dog. there are plenty of people who can go on and on until they’re blue in the fingers. and this is most likely why The Stranger insists on hammering the pit bull thing obsessively… no shortage of idiots running their mouths in the comment section (really? you actually believe they are advocating abuse rather than self-defense? do you shout “racist” in front of women’s self-defense classes too?). all the same, this walks the thin line between sensationalist garbage and somewhat useful information AND entertainment, so well done guys.
here’s my two cents: I recently got duped into dogsitting my friend’s bull terrier for a weekend. it went as horribly as can be expected (I considered boarding it, but didn’t have its immunization records and knew it was an aggressive dog), but by the end I said “fuck it, just get through this, they’ll be home soon enough”. annnnnnd then it nearly killed a kid in my neighborhood. I was just walking it on the final morning and there was an eight year old kid 25 feet away just standing there, waiting for the bus, not even moving. the dog flipped. apeshit. ravenous. I could barely control it and I’m a big dude. basically, it wound up being me dragging the dog back to my house in front of all my neighbors looking like a huge asshole.
this was a completely unprovoked incident. in the light of random, unprovoked incidents, knowing how to handle the situation isn’t a bad idea.
The breed has hair-trigger and somewhat un-predictable mental and personality traits, coupled with jaws that are far more powerful than most breeds. Recipe for a pet owner’s worst nightmare- your dog maims a child. Yet the breed’s apologists continue to rattle on about how they’re no more dangerous than a chihuahua and it was all the kid’s fault. Geez.
I own two cockatoos who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Yet I never trust them around strangers and small children, because they are excitable, do un-predictable things when startled and have beaks *capable* of biting off a nose, ear or eye.
Couldn’t the pit bull apologists at least have the decency to acknowledge what I’m willing to do with my little 2 pound birds?
I love my dog and my cat. I also like my concealed .40 that I bring on rides now (out of state here). I hope I never ever feel the need to use it, but after being chased by three loose Rotts one day, I carry the pistol. I love animals and get along just fine with almost every dog I’ve met, but if it comes down to me (or a loved one) versus someone’s dog, the dog goes, end of story.
I respect and get the feelings of people defending their breeds- there are misunderstandings and half-truths out there. However, that has nothing to do with the utility of knowing how to defend yourself from canine threats.
Good article. I would add ways to identify threats and the importance of being aware of your surroundings. I avoid certain problem areas with dogs. Sure, I may be in the right to be there, and the dogs shouldn’t be loose and aggressive, but avoidance is a lot better than knowingly putting myself in danger and having to kill a dog.
Speaking of, time to ride. Happy Thursday. 🙂
I enjoyed this.
The bottom line is that most people (educated or not, white or not) are not educated on how to handle and care for dogs. I have two and realized eight years into owning the first that I was pretty clueless. They need to be consistently looked after and regularly reminded that they are not in charge (and this is with two gentle ones).
I am disheartened by the kind of dog owner that thinks their dog could never do wrong, walks their dog off leash, neglects to pick up poop, believes their dog is there for their amusement and “forgets” that it is a living being with its own needs and desires.
Love the drawings.
I don’t want to hate on pit bulls in particular (I’ve met nice ones and aggressive ones), but I would like to offer some advice. If a dog is about to attack you (and you don’t have a better alternative), consider kicking it in the head, HARD.
I read this piece of advice after a German Shepherd mauled my Border Collie mix. I’ve had to use it several times on other dogs (including a pit bull) and it works. In all cases, the dogs were interested in attacking my dog and not me. They were shocked to be kicked in the head and retreated immediately.
I love dogs, but I see nothing wrong with self-defense. I wish I had known about the kick-to-the-head trick earlier: it was truly awful to stand and watch that German Shepherd attack and injure my dog. The attack only lasted a few seconds, but it was severe enough for my dog to require surgery.
The best way to defeat a charging pit bull is to throw a copy of The Stranger at it. Dogs hate dogshit.
There should have been in illustration of the dog getting its eyes gouged out.
Seriously, fuck you fucking dog lovers. I’m really sick of having to pick my child up because your god-damned wonderful dog is too precious to be put on a fucking leash. So what if it’s not the dog’s “fault” that it’s fucked up? It’s still fucked up and needs to be killed.
@79 you make no sense, what part of town are you at where random savage dogs are roaming off-leash?
My son’s lab raises her hair whenever I come to visit. It can take up to an hour before she will not threaten me. Aggressiveness is not peculiar to any breed but perhaps it may be a trait. Rotwilers and dobermans were bred for guarding and do this very well but I don’t believe that I would want one around a three year old child.
Pure bred dogs can be inbred and weird. A mutt will be more stable and a better friend. Puppy mills are bad. If you want a dog, go to the pound and choose the dog with the wagging tail and not the one that barks loudest.
Thanks David, this is valuable information. It should be repackaged as a pamphlet and available at all libraries and city and county offices.
@8 “just don’t look, just don’t look, just don’t look”
Great article, great artwork. Fuck aggressive dogs and the idiotic people who own them. I knew a girl who would cry all the time about people judging her precious pitbull that she herself would have to hide from when it went into a “pitfit”
Wow guys really?? I was just thinking last week that the paper hasn’t had any really good articles lately. Now I know why…your a bunch of idiots.
>implying hipsters aren’t 98 lb weaklings that get blown over in the breeze.
Quit talking about beating up hipsters you alarmists.
It surprises me how many people are screaming “fuck you fucking dog lovers”. What are you? 9 years old? Do you not have a heart? I’m sorry you have to pick your daughter up when dogs come around her, but, if you’re like any other mindless plebian I’ve met around this city, you’re having to do that in dog parks. Instead of worrying about the dogs, worry about the morons who own them. And they’re not just minorities or street kids (which happen to be a majority of pit bull owners these days) they’re average people who have no fucking clue how to handle a creature like that. All you idiots who think Cesar Milan is god are fucking clueless. Dogs don’t need to be domiated, they need to be taught what is right and what is wrong and they need to be told that EVERY SINGLE DAY. Not with abuse, but with positive reinforcement. Being a dog lover myself, who was also attack by dogs in the past (1 doberman, 1 rott, and 1 dauschund) and have now owned 2 pittbulls, I can confidently say that pitties are the most gentle breed of dogs I’ve ever encountered (and being a dog walker I see many dogs everyday). The stranger should be ashamed of themselves for writing such filth. Of course you’re going to get a lot of angry people on here, because this paper is feeding into the mainstream bullshit that pitbulls are bad dogs. Educated socitiety on how to care about dogs, they’re not just your best friend.. they’re fucking kids. They’re clueless, have little to no reasoning skills when it comes to morals (they’re animals for crying out loud) and if you’re going to own one, be fucking responsible and EDUCATE YOURSELF. If you don’t know how to train a dog DONT GET ONE. I’m tired of going to parks and walking my dog and people not know how to control their dog and MY dog getting blamed just because she’s a pitbull. I’ve never seen a pitbull aggress another dog, and the only times I’ve ever experienced that happening is when some dumbass is running on a path and freaking the fuck out because a dog wants to sniff them or see why they’re running. As sad as it may be that people get attacked by dogs, I’m more saddened by the fact that we let idiots own dogs and then place blame on the animal, not the morons raising the pups. Take accountability for your actions and maybe there will be far less people bitten by dogs.
Wow guys really??? I was just thinking the other day how this paper has not come out with a good article in a bit. Well now I know why…there is a bunch of idiots at work. So many things to fear, so little time. You guys love Seattle so much and the wonderful people who live here and picked this one. SMART!
Consider your paper dead to me.
More and more, I think everyone’s better off carrying a baseball bat wherever s/he goes. Works on pitbulls and hipsters alike.
@73. Yes. A cockatoo is capable of severing fingers, blinding, and even (ouch just thinking) many parrots when startled will attack the frenulum between the nostrils.
I have a cockatiel. Even that little bird, at 4 oz, is capable of badly injuring a child if angered or startled.
Pit Bulls, like any animal, but especially because of their idiosyncracies, are very dangerous.
I have lost all respect for the Stranger. I realize this is 1 staff writer’s ignorant opinion of Pit Bulls, however, there is a staff and/or editor who reviews & consents to each article & editorial. David Smader has picked a set of inaccurate ‘facts’ to validate his ideas. What I would like to know is How Do I Defeat a Shallow, Hysterical Stranger Writer with my Bare Hands?
This is just wrong, wreckless and irresponsible.
I have lost respect for The Stranger.
Despite the predictable and tiresome outrage from dog lovers, I’m happy to receive tips on how to protect myself against a real problem. Is a dog’s life really worth so much that a person shouldn’t defend himself when attacked?
I have a lab. She sometimes slips under the gate and disappears for a day or two, but she always makes it home in the end. She is, after all, a retriever. That’s what they were bred to do.
My neighbor had a Bassett Hound. He would sometimes flop his ears down off the front porch where he slept, and wander a few houses up the street. He would find some tree and sit at the bottom of it, baying soulfully. He never came home on his own – if my neighbor called for him, he would perk his ears up and bark louder. He was, after all, a hound. That’s what they were bred to do.
My neighbor and I are not hunters. Neither one of us trained these behaviors into our dogs – the behaviors came in the genes.
What behaviors come in a pit bull’s genes? What were they bred to do?
Of course dog attacks have double since 1980…. So has the dog population in the united states. DAVID SCHMADER YOURE A DOUCHE.
You just lost a shit ton of readers.
I liked reading the stranger before this article, but frankly, don’t be a fucking idiot. The dogs’ reputation is made by the stupid fucking people who choose to make a very sweet breed vicious. I have a pitbull and she is the calmest, sweetest, most intelligient dog I’ve ever met. And her being banned from cities is a real pain in my ass. Pit Bulls are built strong and can look intimidating, but are only ‘vicious maneaters’ when they are in the hands of irresponsible fuckheads who don’t know how to treat animals. Sorry to rant but if somebody tried to mace, choke, or break my dogs knees because of the stereotypes of Pit Bulls I won’t hesitate to fuck somebody up. =]
Hello commenters! My response may be found here.
I liked this article – a LOT!
Fairly practical advice for the most part.
David, I wanted to comment on your slogpost regarding the comments here, but that doesn’t allow comments (perhaps in an effort to keep the rage focused here *smile*)
As devoted attendees of your bad movie screenings, we’ve long had debates over how to write out the sound effect of mind-boggling confusion/disbelief (almost akin to brain whiplash). I see you have chosen “Juh?” which works quite well (we’d played around with variants: dju, jehh, etc). Thanks!
I was always told to try and force your hand down his throat. Yes, he’s biting you, but he will die quickly if your arm is down his throat. Windpipes can also be crushed flat.
I’ve been menaced by pit bulls before, and if one truly went at me or my fiance, I would have no regrets kicking the LIVING SHIT out of it with my steel-toe boots. I’m sick of the terrified adrenaline heart-pounding feeling after some badly-trained fleabag runs at me snarling. This article could be repurposed for any dog, really. Remember the presa canario horror in San Francisco? The woman killed (KILLED) in her own apartment building by two 140 pound dogs? Fucking entitled dog owners. Die in a fire, assholes.
101: Thanks, and yes, “juh” does the trick. (It’s what you say when you’re so confused you can’t remember the word “huh?”)
“It’s not the dogs, it’s irresponsible owners, blah blah blah…”. This argument completely ignores the fact that pit bull fighting is a culture, and otherwise not so dangerous things often become dangerous things when an idea or culture uses them. Take the wearing of all blue and red: most high schools ban this because of its affiliation to gangs. There is nothing intrinsically bad about wearing all blue or red, though — you could say that barring huge leaps of logic into freak accident land, it has a danger level of 0. Likewise, pit bulls should be banned because they have unfortunately been picked up by a culture of macho dickheads who fight them. If pit bull lovers can figure out a way to squash this culture and ensure that these dogs don’t attack at a higher rate than your average dog, then great, I will give them a round of applause. But don’t start clapping anytime soon.