It is 11:37 a.m. in the Hooters parking lot, and the festivities
have already begun. Beneath a be-Hootered banner, two men play
“Crocodile Rock” on dueling pianos. The pianos, however, are not
pianos. Instead, two electric keyboards have been implanted in black
piano-shaped boxes. If dueling pianos can be said to become “more
depressing,” this has occurred. To the right of the dueling electric
piano-shaped boxes is a rectangular fenced-in pen, in which 50 or so
Hooters girls are milling about in their traditional orange baby-shorts
and white Skechers and diarrhea-
colored panty hose. Close
quarters. It is hot outside. The air smells of manure.
This is no ordinary Hooters franchise—it is a Hooters
casino, one of only three in the known world1 (if a Hooters
restaurant can be said to become “more depressing,” this has
occurred).2 Prior to its Hooterizing, the space already housed a
casino. That casino was called Rascals. Rascals is dead now. Hooters
lives. We have come to the grand opening of the Hooters of South
Park—a semi-industrial, working-class neighborhood south of
Seattle, most recently famous for a horrific murder—to witness a
fat man cut a symbolic ribbon with a pair of oversize novelty scissors.
Also, we will eat wings.
Also, die a little inside.
I know Hooters is nothing new. I’m sure feminists have been pitching
fits about it since the first one opened in Buttfuck, Florida, in 1983.
But Hooters is new to me. I managed to avoid Hooters for the
first 27 years of my life—much as I avoided strip clubs and other
social transactions geared toward the male boner—and I was not, I
discovered, quite ready for Hooters.
After a few minutes, a handler lets some of the Hooters girls out of
their pen, and they receive Hula-
hoops. We (journalists, family
members, Rascals regulars in mourning) sit in folding chairs and watch
as the girls gyrate to “Don’t Stop Believin'” while the dueling
pianists offer commentary on their bodies and gyrations. “Not only do
they do that,” one of the pianists leers, “later, they will
serve you all food.” He transitions seamlessly into “Summer of ’69.”
The girls wiggle and bounce in the manure-scented parking lot. “Those
were the best days of my life…” The aforementioned fat man comes out
and makes a speech about how working at Hooters is “empowering.”3 I
sigh forever.
We enter the restaurant,4 seat ourselves in a booth, and meet our
waitress, a truly sweet young lady who, in the spirit of Hooters Family
Restaurants, I’m going to go ahead and call Professor Boobies. She is
nervous. Clearly, she has been
instructed to flirt with us. “So
have you all eaten at Hooters restaurants before?” Professor Boobies
asks, looking around the table expectantly. “Yes.”5 “Yes.” “Yes.” “No.”
I have not. I am the only one. “Oooooooo!” she peeps. “Hooters
viiiiiiirgin!” I prepare to lose my Hooters virginity. I hope Hooters
will use a condom. “It’s nice outside, huh?” Professor Boobies asks.
“Yeah, it’s sunny!” we reply. “And in
September!” “It’s
almost October,” I remind her. “HALLOWEEEEEN!” she cries, clapping her
hands.
On the table are several copies of the September/October issue of
Hooters: The Magazine, Special 2009 Swimsuit Spectacular Issue.
The Hooters magazine breaks down as follows: 60 percent titties
(faux), 20 percent sports, 14 percent idiotic bullshit, 1 percent Ted
Nugent, and 5 percent extra titties (because, titties!). The back page
is an editorial called “A Separate Set of Rules!” by one I. J.
Rosenberg, who owns a “sports marketing company” in Atlanta. I. J.
Rosenberg believes that celebrities, or “‘special’ people,” get special
treatment, that they live by “a separate set of rules,” and that this
double standard has led our country into a “financial and moral
crisis.” I. J. Rosenberg cites many damning instances of celebrities
who “never really paid the price,” including Bill Clinton (“Clinton
lied to me, to you, and to the rest of the American people”), Ted
Kennedy (“Is he still a senator? He’s the epitome of ‘never goes
away'”—oops!), and O. J. Simpson (“For 12 years after being
acquitted for the murder of his ex-wife, The Juice walked the
streets”). I. J. Rosenberg demands justice. Exclamation point!
Of particular note in Hooters: The Magazine is the “JOKES”
page, which offers a quip about the terror of rectal thermometers
(that’s like gay buttsex, you know!); the story of “Joan, the rather
well-proportioned secretary” who didn’t realize she was lying naked on
a skylight; a handful of old-timey blond jokes; and a humorous exchange
between two hunters: “Hey, you almost hit my wife.” “Terribly sorry.
Have a shot at mine, over there.”
Periodically, waitresses come by and ask if we want them to sign our
magazines. “Yes?” we reply. “I’ll sign on the page number of how old I
am,” says Professor Boobies, “and don’t say 16!” Um, I wasn’t going to?
The owner of the franchise, a remarkably uncharismatic man in an orange
tie, comes by to say hello. I shake his hand much harder than is
necessary. “Our motto is: Every day we throw a party and you’re
invited,” he tells us, distracted (by boobies?). “We’re committed to
the growth of entertainment and excitement in the Seattle area.” Eye
contact is minimal.6
Finally, wings arrive. “Let me guess: Are you guys a spicy table or
a not-spicy table?” Professor Boobies asks. We wait for her to guess.
She doesn’t. “Spicy?” we say. “I knew it!” (Then why didn’t you guess?)
The wings are deep-fried, which I did not expect. Grease runs down my
chin. Professor Boobies’ acrylic nails make it difficult for her to
open the small, prepackaged tub of ranch dressing. One nail
accidentally pierces the foil, and she has to go in the back for help.
I dip the wing in the ranch. I feel fat and condescending.
In modern times, because of “society” and “women’s rights,” it’s not
acceptable to be (publicly) a person who likes their women dumb,
subservient, seminude, and kept in a pen. A lady isn’t just boobs with
legs, an animated sexy mannequin that brings you food, and you cannot
shoot a lady in the face just because she nags or won’t give you a
mouth-hug on your johnson (see: “JOKES” section, above). Anymore. We
did that already (see: caveman times through 1975). Except at
Hooooooters! Hooters is like a misogyny theme park, where intellectual
curiosity is kept to a minimum (see: I. J. Rosenberg), all the women
are girls, all the girls who weren’t born “empowered” have cut open
their chests and stuck plastic bags of goo in there and sewn ’em up
again in the name of making money and making men happy, and no one’s
shaming you into treating them like humans with brain-parts. You’re
paying for the privilege, after all. They have the right to vote, after
all (going on 100 years now! Girl power!). Jesus Christ. I’m raising my
daughters to be ugly.
It’s like—a friend pointed out later—if someone opened a
restaurant called Niggers, and the all-black waitstaff dressed like
slaves and step ‘n’ fetched you platters of watermelon, and when it was
your birthday they were all,
“Jump-down-turn-around-pick-a-bale-of-cotton!” and brought you a cake
in the shape of a bale of cotton. And racists could go! And indulge
their desire to be publicly racist under the guise of a fun-loving
theme restaurant! Niggers! It’s all in fun. It really is like
that.7
Eventually, when we can eat no more curly fries, the Hooters girls,
under the watchful eye of orange-tie-man, clap their hands and sing a
loud song. It is last call. Lunch is over. Some of the Hooters girls
seem happy; some don’t. It’s a job. They get to make some money. They
are pretty. Some of them have fake hair. Maybe they want more than
Hooters; maybe they don’t. Maybe it’s just a restaurant. We step
outside into the bright parking lot, hot in September. I’m glad I’m not
wearing panty hose. It smells like manure. 
*Footnotes
by Paul Constant
1. The others are in Las Vegas and Spokane. This month, Renton will
boast the world’s first Hooters restaurant and bowling alley.
2. Let’s visit with the devil’s advocate for a minute. Every job
waiting tables sucks. How is a job waiting tables at, say, the
Cheesecake Factory any better? You have to wear a silly, impractical
outfit (white jeans? In a kitchen?). You may not be objectified as
openly, but you still flirt for tips. And how about the poor, wretched
human beings at Cold Stone Creamery or Johnny Rockets, forced to sing
for their tips while wearing silly outfits? Is that somehow okay
because it’s not sexual? And Hooters waitresses probably make better
tips. One could argue that Hooters doesn’t create a problem, it just
capitalizes on it. We are America. We have capitalized on our problems
from the very beginning. At least some women are making more money off
of it now, right? Right?
3. The fat man also makes a speech about how he will protect the
Hooters brand. It’s unclear exactly what he’s going to protect Hooters
from—socialism?—but he made that vow, in front of
journalists and family members and the all-encompassing odor of shit.
So if something awful happens to the Hooters brand because of the
Hooters casino in South Park, we all will know who has failed in his
sacred calling.
4. To get into the restaurant, we have to walk through a gauntlet of
cheering Hooters girls. A reporter for some local publication or other,
a large, slovenly, doofy guy with a goatee, holds up his hands and
throws his chin in the air pridefully, accepting the applause like some
loose-fit-khaki-wearing potentate returning home from JCPenney with a
great bounty.
5. My previous trip to Hooters: On a business trip to Washington,
D.C., three middle-aged ladies thought it would be hee-larious to drag
their bookish young employee to a Hooters for a business lunch. I ate a
pale, gamy chicken sandwich, watched a Hooters waitress try to teach an
awestruck 3-year-old boy how to Hula-hoop (she was probably more
successful at creating a future panty-hose fetishist), and puked my
lunch back out on the side of NPR’s headquarters during the walk
back.
6. If you are embarrassed to be in a Hooters and you are a straight
man, eye contact is incredibly problematic. You don’t want to just
stare the waitress in the eye, because that seems to somehow proclaim
“I’m not staring at your tits” in a very blatant way. So you just have
to look at the tabletop, or some neon orange thing or another, or your
glistening food.
7. Okay, it’s not quite like that. But here’s the most
problematic thing about the Hooters brand: its positioning as a family
restaurant, built on family values. They encourage people to bring
their kids. They sell child-size Hooters T-shirts (one kid’s T-shirt
has handprints all over it, and it reads “Hooters Girls Can’t Keep
Their Hands Off Me”) and even Hooters bibs and onesies for infants. In
this way, it is more dishonest than, say, strip clubs or porn, which
are clearly for adults. Hooters avoids that kind of stigma in part
thanks to regular and publicized charitable donations—today’s
restaurant opening trumpeted a gift to a local cystic fibrosis
foundation and featured a heartfelt, and incredibly awkward, speech
about the horrible disease by the relative of a CF sufferer.
@99 I don’t think you are clarifying much there. The racist analogy is over-the-top period.
@101 has a much better analogy and actually there are probably plenty of gay bars with scantily clad male waiters that absolutely no one is outraged about.
Lindy’s outrage and bogus analogy are essentially presenting straight-up 2nd-wave feminist doctrine regarding ‘exploitation’. Not only is this anti-sex I would argue it is anti-feminist, a recycling of the deeply ingrained (in this society anyway) puritanical sexual double-standard in dubious feminist terms. Worth noting that said double-standard is probably fairly widely embraced by the yahoos that patronize Hooters.
Defeat sexism by perpetuating Neaderthalian attitudes in which the female slut is maligned and the male slut celebrated? I think most contemporary feminists under say 50 (save perhaps Lindy) can see the ludicrousness inherent in that idea.
@104–you present one of the better criticisms of sex-positive feminism that I’ve read (although I’m not really all that well-read).
@107 It is ironic how well the comments to this article exemplify how sexism acts in our society. Many who attack the article do so by personalizing the attack as being about Lindy’s sex–or lack of sex–or body–or lack of body. It would be absurd to try use a man’s sexuality to dismiss their ideas. Too bad for those for whom this evidence would be illuminating are unlikely to be reading that carefully.
#108, your argument doesn’t hold up. I went into detail in #104. There is no sexual double standard because in order for there to be a double standard, both genders would need to start out with equal footing.
And also, here is the full critique of 3rd wave, sex-positive feminism that I cut/pasted my comments @#104 from in case anyone is interested (I’m sure none of you are). This woman’s entire blog is worth reading:
http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2008…
http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2008…
I know i’m coming late to this party, but there’s a Hooters in my city — and it smells terrible!
Horrible, rancid overcooked grease for a half block (yes, even more so than any other restaurant and fast food joint in the city.)
I went there once for a friend’s child’s birthday party (she thought it was ironic, for some reason.)
Other than the smell, my other problem with the place: the food, as advertised by the smell, was terrible. Ugh. Pantyhose with shorts and sneakers (apparently, not only are the poor girls’ boobs not appealing enough without plastic enhancement, the legs of healthy young women are also not deemed attractive enough without some sort of plastic covering.)
Smelly, with bad food, and unattractively clad, plasticized young women waitresses — I don’t get the attraction of this “restaurant.” Men, really? You’ll go this far to get a fantasy of servile objectification?
But no doubt you could pull in the racists with a cotton pickin’ good time, too.
As for why young women are “happy” to work there — there’s one word: tips.
I have a friend who was making $200 a day as a waitress in a vacation aread, dressed scantily, getting pinched and hit on and what not, endlessly.
Was she happy to be pinched, hit on endlessly, um no. Did she like earning $200 a day? Yes, it put her through college.
She had to take a 50% cut at her first journalism job, which will give you an idea of why young women are “happy” to be objectified.
Being taken seriously, probably pays less, but eventually every young woman will move on.
@110 hmm not too clear on how not starting out on equal footing means there is no double standard. The double standard is perfectly obvious and is as stated: the female slut is maligned (by puritans, fratboys and feminists of the 2nd wave alike, good company there), the male slut is celebrated.
In your argument you are essentially setting up a straw man (or straw woman) sex-positive feminist who ‘never talks about’ other bullshit puritanical aspects of our culture such as up tightness about breast-feeding or nudity in general. From what I have read most contemporary sex-positive feminists talk plenty about such issues and are generally highly critical of American prudery in all of its hideous manifestations.
Perpetuating the puritanical double standard by denigrating the slut, promoting sexual repression, just serves to perpetuate puritanical hang-ups in our society in general, hang-ups for instance like those related to women breast-feeding in public or going topless in parks.
My Dear Lindy,
You are such a talented and hilarious writer. PLEASE don’t EVER quit your job!!! Don’t listen to the haters!!
I love how all these people are so busy defending the Hooters waitresses’ work, but barely anyone on here is defending your work?
I am defending your work. I don’t even care what you are writing about, I ALWAYS read your articles cause they are always intelligently written and incredibly funny!
Love,
M
Dear Assholes,
Lindy is ALSO just doing her job. Just like those Hooter’s waitresses.
Yet, would you go to Hooters and tell your waitress that she “needs a blow job” or that she is “ugly” or “fat” or to “chill the fuck out” when she asks you if you needed anything else?
Have some respect, people!
Most of you probably have jobs, too. How would you like it if people made snarky comments about your graphic designs EVERY DAY? Or told you your haircuts were AWFUL or that you make the worst coffee in the world — or that you should not do the one thing that you LOVE to do in life, whatever that is?
How can you decide to be one of those people? Look at yourself in the mirror, Jackasses. You’ve become the “internet-asshole”. Congratulations.
And, in case you are wondering, YES – I would say this to your face, right after I smacked it – given the chance.
Internet-meanness is sooooo 2008.
Love,
Muffin
I know this has probably been said in the previous 116 comments, but it’s not like anyone has to eat there, or people have to work there.
It exists because there is a market for this sort of thing. Just like Pioneer Square or Capitol Hill or Belltown or whatever other “brand” people associate themselves with. It’s not for everyone. It’s not for me, even. But, for those that enjoy it, let ’em have their fun. Wings and boobs aren’t destroying America. Mad Rad is.
#115, you didn’t understand my argument. Obviously 3rd wave/sex pos. feminists also support things such as breast feeding in public, going topless, ect…
Here is a quote by a sex positive feminist that from the article I tried to link to (for the full blog & comments, including mine, you can google “The Evangelical Pro Life Guide to Sexy Feminism”):
“Sexy feminism (aka sex-positivism) isn’t about appealing to men and thus perpetuating the patriarchy through internalized sexism. It’s about claiming our own sexual pleasure and our own bodies. It’s about doing what we want despite the patriarchy. It’s about using our bodies for our own pleasure or to express our own thoughts, despite how you or anyone else interprets our bodies. We’re saying, ‘It’s my body and I get to decide how to use it.’”
And my argument is that women do not get to decide how to use their bodies. And that 3rd wave feminists do not acknowledge that this sense of control and empowerment that women feel is a false one until we are able to actually control when we do not want to be sexualized.
I am not a puritan, and I am not vilifying “the female slut.” Jesus, I WAS a female slut. And I look at as much porn as the next person. I just don’t acknowledge that it has any actual feminist value in the culture as it exists today.
I’m not anti-sex or anti-any of these places existing. I’m not anti-the women who choose to work at these places. I don’t think it is even “slutty” for them to do so. I’m just saying we need to be more critical of why taking our clothes off makes us feel empowered, and whether we truly do have control over our sexuality. And being critical of the choices we make is not the same thing as being critical of the person for making them.
As for the double standard, you can’t take two people with different background variables and hold them to the same standard. Men do not have the same problems controlling their sexuality as women do, therefore, when men take their clothes off none of the issues I mentioned above apply to them.
Ok, I will stop now for good because I have had this same argument about a million times and told myself never again…
#85 – you are full of shit.
Male here. Very good looking, tall, very well built, high intellect, great education, bright blue very pretty eyes, dresses well.
If you don’t think my appearance/impression has not helped me many, many, many times – what planet are you on?
Of course men market themselves. Over and over and over. Just we lack the tits, but I do have the ass and the bulge…. and wear fitted trousers to make it all show well.
Get on the clue bus. Never been to Hooters, no plan to go. But, work is work. Hope some of these girls get a trick later on, and REALLY make some major money…. you bet, sex work is just work. Same as Hooters.
good article albeit depressing.
I know it’s been asked before, but can someone clarify whether it’d still be sexist if it were men on display?
Also, I’m not convinced that restaurants can either represent or cause attitudes towards either men or women. I’ve seen some great all-male and all-female bands, and it doesn’t make me think that all men (or all women) are musicians. I’d like to think that most people have a similar capacity to abstract the general away from what we’re looking at in the immediate.
All in all, this seems like canned fake outrage. The place is cheesy as hell. Some people like it. If you don’t, don’t go. But handwringing over -ism’s and is a little much.
The most important thing I learned from this article is that Lindy is in need of some serious deep dicking.
Regarding the choice of the Hooters servers: The question of whether or not they choose to work at Hooters stems from whether they prefer the work there to something else less exploitive of their physical assets. My understanding of waitressing at Hooters is like service work anywhere else, it’s still low-wage contingent work.
So, firstly, most workers in the contingent market take the first job that comes to them; they don’t choose to work at Hooters, rather Hooters chooses them to work there.
Secondly, contingent work doesn’t usually earn enough to count as sustenance income, requiring such workers to moonlight, apply for assistance, live in squalor or, in the case of Hooters employees, subject themselves to a pejorative environment. Their choice to work at Hooters is, hence, the least of a number of evils.
Thirdly, unless their base wage is significantly higher than similar service work in the same area (compared to, say Chevy’s or TGI Friday’s or The Olive Garden), then the choice to work there is for the opportunity to be exploited, a tip being the same thing as payment for performance. It’s slightly less degrading than working at a topless bar. In fact, a burlesque house might be considered a step up since classy lingerie would count as a nicer uniform than the Hooter’s attire.
Still, the presence of a place like Hooters in its current incarnation is not the problem, but the symptom of a bigger one, which is that at the entry-level pay range (which accounts for most jobs available) we don’t pay a sustenance wage. Hence workers are often coerced to do for survival what they would not do if they had a choice to do otherwise.
I strayed back to meat a few times to eat at hooters. I enjoy the crowd of waitresses surrounding our table, avoiding the lewd straight men who don’t tip.
My favorite was the one waitress who said “oh, my favorite night is when all the bears show up! I actually get tipped and they clean up after themselves if they spill beer!”
wow, it’s been very revealing to read the comments to this article. It’s amazing how many people are threatened by a woman who is direct and open about pointing out a case of sexism in our culture (great article, by the way, Lindy West). Seattle just really isn’t as “liberal” as it purports to be when it comes to women’s issues, is it? For all of you who think that (1)a man who uses his looks to get what he wants or (2) the fact that an attractive man is treated better than an unattractive man are evidence that sexism works both ways: the point is that sexism, like racism don’t function symmetrically. If we did not have a long history and culture of unequal power between black and white people and between men and women, and if we did not have a long history of viewing black people and women in certain ways, then perhaps that point would make sense. However, there are deeply entrenched views and expectations of both groups that are part of the psyche of everyone at the unconscious level. To give one example, we all have the image of a professor as an older white man, rather than a woman or a person of color.
Lindy, thank you for actually mentioning this bizarre aspect of our culture, which is for the most part taken for granted. (I also loved your “Big Pimpin” column of some time back.) Hugh Hefner has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams as his warped and shallow vision has become integrated into our society and into the minds of so many of our precious women and men and girls and boys.
@118 you took the words out of my mouth.
I AM FURIOUS THAT THESE WOMYN ARE SUBJECTE TO THIS SORT OF TREAMENT AS A OUT AND PROUD MEMBER OF THE FQTBLG COMMUNITY I KNOW THE STING OF GENDER PAIN AND I CANT BELIEVE SEATTLE TOLERATES BUSINESSES SUCH AS THIS WHY THE STRANGER WOULD GIVE IT ANY PR IS BEYOND ME BUT LOOK AT WHAT THEY HAVE AT THE HELM WHY DONT THEY WRITE ABOUT THE GENOCIDE OF SACRED QUEER SPACE ON CAPITOL HILL WHICH IS THE DIRTY LITTLE SECRET THAT NO ONE AT THE STRANGER WILL TALK ABOUT WELL WHEN HIS PRECIOUS R PLACE IS TURNED INTO A TOYS R US I BET HIS TUNE WILL BE A DIFFERENT ONE
regardless of actual content and the arguing here, this is the first article in a reallllllly long times that I actually LAUGHED while reading. Nice to see some fresh voice!
WING DOME ROCKS!!!!! Seriously, if they have good food, it doesn’t matter what the waitstaff looks like. If you want good wings- go to wing dome. if you want to look at boobies and eat wings but not (necessarily?) support mobsters- go to Hooters.
So-called hip clothing stores that cater to rich white kids (A&F, Hollister, …) always hire “models” to work at the store. It’s no different than Hooters.
Additionally, I’ve always heard that Hooters flies in the top talent to work the opening of stores, then after a few weeks the local, and less bouncy women take over.
Hooters is a shit show, but it’s nothing worth get riled up about.
PISSED OFF QUEER‘s comment fixed for legibility:
I am furious that these women are subjected to this sort of treatment. as a out and proud member of the [lgbt] community i know the sting of gender pain. I cant believe Seattle tolerates businesses such as this. Why the Stranger would give it any PR is beyond me. But, look at what they have at the helm; why don’t they write about the genocide of sacred queer space on Capitol Hill? [This is] the dirty little secret that no one at the Stranger will talk about. Well, when his precious place is turned into a Toys R Us, I bet his tune will be a different one.
This was the ultimate in bad Stranger articles: sneering, condescending, and all about the poor, oppressed writer.
Twenty years ago, my fellow students and I bemoaned the coming of a Hooters to our liberal college town. The town survived, and the Hooters may have, too, albeit without our money.
I’ve never stepped inside a Hooters. I don’t like fried food, I don’t like excess testosterone amongst my fellow diners, and I know what using sex appeal means in a restaurant: the management thinks their food is not all that great. I defer to their judgement on that last point.
If the wait staff has any brains, they’ll pretend to like you. That goes for any restaurant on the planet. Had our writer referred to her waiter as “Attentive Working Woman”, instead of the demeaning term she chose, how would the rest of the article appeared?
Some of us get easy jobs, like typing about stuff. Others have to haul ass and hustle for tips. We in the former class should not denigrate our fellow humans in the latter class.
This is a tough one for me.
When I visited Hooters in San Francisco I didn’t like it. It wasn’t because of the girls but because the food sucked. Plain & simple.
The tough part for me is because I hate being a judgmental person but when it comes to the employees at Hooters (or any girl “like that”)… I just can’t help but think how stupid they are. One because they would put themself through a demeaning position. Two because fake boobs SCREAM to me, “high maintenance & stupid”…. But then again, what if they’re putting themselves through school? What if they are really intelligent human beings that view it as “just another job”?
I think about what I do on a daily basis & that’s make coffee for the masses. Some times I flirt to get better tips & wear low cut shirts. I’m hit on time and time again. And most of our patrons are men. So what’s the difference? I have REAL conversations with these people. Sure, I flirt but I talk to them about how I’m an “artist”, putting myself through school, an activist, a music lover, etc. I don’t think Hooters allows this to happen (if the girls even have this as apart of their life)…
But hey, if you’re going there just to look at boobs. Then go for it! Don’t expect anything further than that. You don’t go to a strip club expecting a full on conversation about philosophy, right?
So basically Lindy West is a fun-hating bitch? She’ll deny it and say “I just didn’t like Hooters,” just like she’ll say “I just didn’t like (insert awesome thing here)” every time an awesome thing comes around. No, seriously, look it up. Every time she jizzes her pants about something it’s always about either the dumbest topics ever or something that really doesn’t deserve it, but good luck trying to find even those since she never jizzes her pants.
Lindy West, fuck you and your condescension. You and your Capitol Hill clusterfuck buddies can all blow it out your stick-filled collective asses.
Lindy’s writing rarely fails to make me laugh. This article was no exception.
Lindy is probably one of my favorite writers at the Stranger right now. I’m actually surprised by how defensive people are getting in the comments over…Hooters…
Lindy doesn’t like hooters.
Hooters still exists.
The wings are gross.
If you like it, go.
If you don’t, don’t.
Keep it up, Lindy.
I dont care about Hooters either, but man is the Stanger a bunch of elitist a-holes. You have to judge everything in the world? No one can enjoy anything unless it is hipster approved by the Stranger I guess. Fascists.
@38 – The name Cucumbers is pretty hilarious. Good one.
To Lindy – funny as always!
To Paul – well written as always!
Come to Buffalo and have some Real wings. And the only titties are on the fat Italian guys cooking them.
I find this article entirely condescending and spiteful; it is somehow more objectifying and exploitative than the concept of hooters in the first pace. Truly, right out of the “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” school of ‘anti’-bigotry rhetoric.
Oh puh-leeze. I don’t care if Lindy is a good writer or not, I’m not a “hater” but she sounds like she is. C’mon, the double standard is disgusting. It’s not about Hooters or how good or bad the food or “environment” is, it’s totally dissing the poor girl who works there. A gay man can shove a pony keg up his ass and it’s A-OK cuz we’re all about not judging but put on a push-up and some skimpy shorts for a job and your “Professor Boobies”. I was in a Hooters a couple of months back and I had a blast, because I know how to have fun. The waitress was cute and bubbly and working her cute little ass off putting herself through school (and making bank in the process), trying to not let the dirt bags who don’t understand boundaries get her down while putting up with chauvinist women who put her down for where she works. So Lindy, you’re a “too hip to live” Seattlite, what’s your opine of women owned Lust Lady? Oh no, that wouldn’t be “cool” to dis the women that work there because it’s all “woman positive” and it would be all wrong to refer to someone working there as “Professor How Many Freakin’ Kids Has She Had”.
I found this article to be disgusting, particularly the second to last paragraph which is blatantly racist. I don’t understand how you can equate Hooters to over 200 years of oppression and violence towards African Americans. Really low class. I’m not a fan of Hooters but to each their own. Yes, it is blatantly sexual and some may find it demeaning but have you ever looked at the last few pages of The Stranger? I hope you understand where your paycheck comes from.
OK, When I went to Hooters their food was BAD and personally I perfectly understand the fake boob fetish (its not that they don’t care; its that they prefer them). Because, I suspect, women with real boobs tend to get rolly polly with time and real boob are affected by gravity.
Give the waitresses their due, thier job has got to be hard (selling all that bad food and acting like its edible, trying to act/look sexy in those hideous outfits) but please I do not see the lure of fake boobs on haggish women with fake tans and too much makeup on (that’s probably why they cropped the pic). That’s just me, though.
As a restaurant review, this told us all we need to know, whatever your preference. And isn’t that what a review is all about?
Oh, good Goddess, people, Hooters is no more good clean fun than was The Dukes of Hazzard. If you’re okay with the sexism, then please feel free to patronize Hooters, but it is sexist. Hooters does objectify, and the sooner we get over ourselves and admit that a dash of Tabasco gives the wings that extra zing, the better we’re all going to be.
Last I checked around here on SLOG, sex was more than a labor of duty we did as an expression of the love we have for our partner’s soul and intellect. We have sex because it’s fun, because it feels good, and because human bodies are hot. Hence, we objectify every time we lust. Feminism isn’t about reducing the female human body to a life support system for a respectible mind, any more than same-sex marriage is about securing special rights for gays. Feminism is about celebrating body, mind, and soul of womankind. It’s about recognizing your female paramour is an equal participant in the sex your having with her.
That said, there’s nothing wrong in creating a place that celebrates boobage. Titties are a fabulous part of some really awesome folk. But to erect such a shrine we don’t need to resort to traditional stereotypes, or by minimizing the other aspects of femaledom, and these are offenses perpetuated by Hooters (it seems tongue to some degree in cheek), for better or worse.
Lindy, I enjoyed every word.
blank @143, do you have an understanding of feminist history? No, Hooters isn’t in itself comparable to the atrocities committed against the black slaves in America, and their descendants, but the atrocities throughout history committed against women worldwide are a level of magnitude greater than all those done in the name of race-based slavery. Women have only recently started attaining rights similar to men in civil parts of the world. They’ve been regarded as property far longer than has the men of any race.
I could almost (note – ALMOST) overlook the obvious and disgusting sexism promoted by Hooters if the food was at least better than average. Since the food is ordinary (at best) then the half clad buxom waitresses are the obvious draw and the crowd seems to be made up of hormonal frat-boys and middle aged fat-boys. Thanks but I’ll get my food at a real restaurant and my porn from the internet.
Why is the Stranger sex-worker friendly but willing to post a negative review of Hooters? Maybe because sex workers are more honest. They are selling sex, period. Hooters is masquerading as a restaurant. I once had a boyfriend who wanted to take me on a date to Hooters. He couldn’t understand why I did not consider it an appropriate place to take a date! I am now married to a very different man who appreciates nice restaurants and understands what the word “appropriate” means.
As for complaints that the photo somehow disrespects or dehumanizes the Hooters woman…isn’t that the look she was (or her employers were) going for? Like it or not, people do judge you by how you present yourself. You wear a top with your boobs hanging out and no one will care to look at your face. Believe it or not, there are ways to dress that look sexy without looking cheap. Hooters obviously isn’t interested in a look for their waitresses that is “humanizing” or respectful – so why blame the photographer?
As for pro-Hooters screetchers, just because you like Hooters doesn’t mean everyone has to. So your favorite restaurant got a bad review – so what?
Derp derp derp. Buuut I l-ah-kuh my Hooturrz wings. They come wit’ dem titeez. Hooze this fat feminist whor’ to be goin’ on ’bout dem titeez been’ bad. ‘Sho nuff them wimminz lahk what they be doin ‘cuz they gets paid fer it.
An’ don’ even get meh started on dem’ naggerz’
S’cuse me while ah go beat my wyfe an’ ordurr mor wingz.
^And that children, is the majority of the Hooters fanbase.
1 and 2: You don’t have to go to a hooters to experience their not-so-hot wings. Just dip some stale chicken into some bland ketchup. Maybe add a little extra vinegar to the ketchup if you want to split hairs. And invite a bunch of fat college republicans with pencil-thin douchebag beards into your house to eat them with you.
I’m fine with actual strip clubs, but hooters just irks me for some reason. I think it’s like the author of the footnotes said; they’re selling it off as a “family values” restaurant. That, and all the “shooting my dumb blonde nag wife in the face” jokes plastered on the walls make it way creepier than a simple strip club. “Misogyny theme park” was a pretty astute description of the place. All the cliched, often-invalid complaints about strip clubs (“it’s objectifying! It’s misogynist! The women are desperate and are being exploited!”) all seem to apply to hooters.
It’s not just for guys that want to see a nice pair of tits. It’s for guys that like to say creepy shit to waitstaff without them rolling their eyes or kicking them out of the restaurant. I think there’s a significant difference between those two types of patrons.
THE question: Why would you send a woman to review a new Hooters restaurant?
THE no-brainer answer: You wouldn’t.
There was a Hooters here that opened up right smack in the middle of the food court at the mall. About 10 years ago – It went out of business in a shockingly brief time and all the fake boobs had to find honest work at the titty bars on the north side. On the up side, there have never been so many great places for chicken wings!
Lindy, again awesome article. Keep ’em coming.
I was just skimming it and remembering the Hooter’s in my former home town (Reno, NV) and remembering what a gay friend of mine said after a forced visit there with his co-workers: “And I don’t know what was up with the shit-colored nylons?!”
If we feminists wanted to dissect this creepy restaurant further, we might ask: Why are most of the waitresses (fake) blondes and yet their nylons are freakishly dark? Are they supposed to be black from the ass down?!!
What is up with that???
You morons who bash Hooters are some of the most narrow-minded, dense idiots I’ve ever come across. I’m going to blow all of your ASSumptions out of the water with some facts and logic.
First, I will address those who claim that Hooters perpetrates sexism. My response to that is that you have obviously never been to Hooters. The waitresses wear more clothing than some of the ladies you see at the beach or in high school. Hooters Girls are far more mature and genuine than strippers or prostitutes. You can actually get to know the lovely Hooters Girls personally.
Another thing you need to keep in mind is that Hooters does not encourage sexual harassment. Yes, the ladies do wear tank tops and short shorts, but that’s part of the work uniform. Try tapping one of them on the ass or make an obscene comment, and you’ll get your ass hauled out so quickly you’ll feel like Bruce Lee kicked you in the face. Also, you can’t have pictures taken with Hooters servers unless you ask them for their permission first.
Here’s a section from the About Hooters section on their official site that explains their sexual harassment policy:
“Hooters of America, Inc. has taken a pro-active lead in the industry addressing issues raised by individual acts of sexual harassment. Hooters of America, Inc., like all responsible corporations, deplores such acts and prohibits this behavior in the workplace. The company has a long-standing non-harassment policy forbidding unwelcome physical or verbal behavior, and specifically mentions sexual harassment. This policy includes a confidential reporting system for complaints, including a toll-free phone number. Since 1983, Hooters has employed over 250,000 Hooters Girls, and while even one incident is too many, this large number of employees, compared to the limited number of sexual harassment lawsuits filed, indicates this policy works.”
Secondly, to the morons who call Hooters waitresses “stupid and desperate,” you couldn’t be any wronger. Many of the servers who work at the local Hooters where I go, as well as other locations, are responsible and putting themselves through college. It’s no different from working at Applebee’s or Chili’s to pay for college, except that Hooters is more fun, has better food, and sexier waitresses.
Hooters Girls are a lot smarter than than you pablum pukers think. Many of the ones I know are working towards degrees in such fields as Cryptology, Business, and Health Science. Some have already graduated and are just working at Hooters until they feel the time is right to pursue their goals in life. I’m willing to bet hard cold cash that most Hooters servers are smarter than any of you losers.
Third, and finally, to the losers who insinuate that all Hooters customers are illiterate, uneducated hillbillies, get off your high horse. I happen to be a 21-year old college student who’s smart, handsome, and working towards a degree in Communications. I’m already writing for my college’s newspaper as a way of preparing for my career.
Now that I’m done shutting up all of you small-minded critics, let’s recap my main points: Hooters does not perpetuate sexism or misogyny, the ladies who work there are hard-working, responsible women who voluntarily choose to work at Hooters, and not all of the customers are unintelligent, racist inbreds. I doubt anyone will have the courage or guts to refute me because I know I’m right and that there is nothing I’ve said that can be proven wrong.
Hey David Foster Wallace, footnotes are annoying.
I would like to apologize. That was trollish. I mostly just wanted to demonstrate how smart I am because I am familiar with “Consider the Lobster”. Your footnotes are fine and they add to the piece.
#67
You’re right. These women aren’t forced into getting boob jobs but societal pressure does play a part.
I knew a girl in high school (a pretty, blond, cheerleader) whose mom offered to buy her a nose job for her 16th birthday. As you know, teenagers are usually insecure. And her mother had gotten one when she was a teenager and was buying her one for her birthday, so of course she got one.
Afterwards, everyone complimented her on her new nose. I, privately, thought she was prettier before. One day, she confided in me that she regretted getting it done and now it was too late.
I’m sure many of these women love their new breasts. But I would bet that there are women at Hooters who regret their boob jobs. And it’s places like Hooters that perpetuate the myth that a bump in your nose and small breasts are aberrations.
In terms of the comparison to The Stranger’s apparent dissing of Hooters while supporting sex workers. I see a distinction. At Hooters, the women make themselves conform to Hooters’ standard of beauty. The burlesque dancers I love to watch craft their own dances and decide how much to reveal. Their dances are a celebration of their own sexuality. Hooters is a celebration of the men’s sexuality, not the women’s.
Way to go, Lindy…fair piece, mate…but you are like being far too bourgeois timid..if you’re going to write gonzo push it over the fucking edge, for chrissake.
I mean for anyone working at Hooters it’s gotta be like stuck on an elevator of horse shit trapped between the fifth and sixth layers of Dante’s Paradise Lost. You never even tried to get inside their effing skulls for fuck sake..
Sam, The Emotional Cripple and your biggest fan.