I had a doubt about this one when I saw its name. Because Bakery Nouveau doesn’t mean anything in French (and in English, neither). In French, “boulangerie” is a feminine noun, so the adjective after should have been “nouvelle” and not “nouveau”, which is the masculine for “new.” No French person could have made such a mistake. I know it is hard for you to find out when it’s a masculine noun and when it is a feminine one, especially since there is no rule concerning this.
But when French is your mother tongue, you just know. The name of this bakery had clearly not been designed by a French person.
As I was searching for the French guy behind all this, an employee gave me the answer: There is no French baker here. It’s just “French-inspired.” The inspiration may have lost its source then. I nearly fainted when I saw a peanut butter cookie. That would be an abomination in a French bakery.
In fact, Bakery Nouveau succeeds by moving away from mainstream bakeries. Right after entering the shop, you may have a look on the different praising articles about how wonderful this bakery is and how much its founder, William Leaman, changed the world of baking. Indeed, I had never seen croissants with these shapes. But I was upset about the mix of all those pastries with different origins: American scones, Danish apples, and French pain au chocolat on the same row. Uncommon, unusual. It is nouveau, ça c’est sûr.
It is this sense of change and innovation that was rewarded five years ago when Leaman won la Coupe du monde de la boulangerie. He may have deserved this, even if I preferred the croissant from Le Fournil. But fame and glory may have given him delusions of grandeur. Eating here is expensive. You’ll have to pay $3,50 for a baguette and $2,25 for a croissant. Usually, when you can’t finish your bread, you give the rest to the pigeons. Here, you’d better swallow it all even if you’re no more hungry. Furthermore, the place is a bit dark. Yeah, I may be trying to find this place more drawbacks than it has because I’m frustrated since Leaman won the Coupe du monde while the French team was only second. That was so unfair.
I think that Bakery Nouveau deserves a B-.
Good points:
• The food is good.
• They dare create new things you’ve never seen before.
Bad points:
• They’re not French, and that’s the whole point.
..@50 i think he would say he hautes american cuisine..
That really is pretty funny, you know. I can see it now: Future employer Goggles his name, pulls up these posts, and (not knowing the first thing about Slog) reads comment after comment of us calling him a stupid, ignorant, lame-brained nitwit. I’d pay money to see that.
@45,
That he doesn’t know the details of French food production means he doesn’t know how much shit costs in France?
@17,
Croissant means crescent, not cross.
Bakery Nouveau seems to be pretty full of itself. I think it is overpriced and not very good, regardless of it’s Frenchery. I do like the cheesecake, though. Otherwise, big “meh”.
EDITORS: Please do this French guy a favor by forbidding him to write about food. It’s boring as shit and he’s not being challenged to get out of the insecure shell of stereotype Frenchness he’s built around himself.
Perhaps he could be forced to write about right-wing masturbation and racial/class warfare.
@45 – Looks like #54 beat me to it.
And P.S. @ 50 and anyone else whining that Julien is hatin’ on your food: correct me if I’m wrong but he has stated that the food is good at each of the 4 bakeries he has visited. He was negative toward the supermarket food, but let’s be serious, it’s justified.
Maybe @40 is right and this guy is a fiction, and the articles a failed attempts at satire?
@ everyone: the ugly-American chauvinism is hilarious; we simply can’t stand being critiqued by any furrener. And coming from Seattleites, who view themselves as so world class, and above flyover country, even more so. We even have folks lecturing a French person on his own language and mores.
@54: okaaaaay…..d’accord, mea culpa, touche. Permitez-moi de me moi correger moi meme, d’accord?
Dear Howard tell your baristas to stop calling pain chocolat “chocolate croissants” — they are not *crescent*-shaped.
(And they say the French are particulier….)
@28 just provided me with a food boner by causing me to think about these maple-peanut butter cookies I had once…
This is clearly a joke. Time to stop reading this column by this supposed french guy.
@37 D’accord!
but did you try the macaroons? Do the French eat macaroons or just tourists? That is the only reason I travel to Bakery Nouveau.
I thought Nouveau cooking in Seattle always meant they added salmon …
@63 – that would be interesting to find out. But I’ve noticed French people tend to not do multiple things when they eat. It’s usually a meal and wine – OR dessert and coffee. Never both, unless it’s a grand celebration.
I love these posts they make me smile. And, please lump me in with Gus and Dee as wishing to see some pictures of you too. I love to eat, but men are more beautiful to look at than baked goods.
Happy Bourbon Heritage Month you deserve a nice dram or two for tasting all of this for us, Julien. Hopefully someone will buy you one.
I’ve never really understood the hatred Europeans have for peanut butter. Especially when they all but fetishize hazelnut products.
@67 – agreed. I’ve gotten a vaguely classist vibe from some of them about peanuts as well… they look down on peanuts?
They grow underground. Like, in the dirt. Ugh. Yuck. Ptooey.
Like carrots! And potatoes!
They don’t hate peanut butter.
They hate the sugar-filled overprocessed swill sold here as peanut butter.
and truffles!
We have lots of good peanut butter. What about the good peanut butter, do they hate that too?
Oh, man, 73 comments. Best. Troll. Ever.
The “everything is better in Paris” rhetoric got ramped up to 11 multiplied by eleven to the eleventh power when everyone started bitching that he was a snob.
Sorry, meant to write “eleven” when I wrote 11.
@69 — doesn’t stop ’em from going gaga over truffles.
@53 Hahahaha
Is it sad I can kind of relate to French guy? I’m stuck in Japan for another three months (have been here four years) and all I can do at this point is laugh at their idea of American food and the stupid names of their American restaurants and why do they hate peanut butter but love something called peanut cream that is basically like vaguely peanut-flavored whipped cream???
We do have a great french bakery. It’s called Paul’s. The croissants are about $3. French intern should go review them and tell me how un-french they are seeing as no french restaurant in Japan has a french guy in it.
@38. I can think of cases where nouveau would definitely come after the noun and cases where it would slightly change the meaning if it were placed before or after. With food and drink nouveau would almost always come after the noun (le beaujolais nouveau, for example.) Un vin nouveau is a fresh wine, whereas un nouveau vin is a wine that is “new” i.e. not the same one, etc. There are also instances where stylistically one would want to put nouveau after the noun, as well. (native French speaker)
tl;dr
Oooo suck on my chocolate salted balls
stick em in your mouth, and suck em!
Suck on my chocolate salted balls,
they’re packed full of vitamins, and good for you.
So suck on my balls.
Fucking hell, @63:
Those are “macarons.” Ma-ca-rons.
A “macaroon” can be either an American shredded-coconut-and-sugar confection or a ground-almond-and-sugar cookie (like a softer amaretti) found around the world. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macaroon
Now go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macaron
Use of almond flour notwithstanding, that looks like a totally fucking different thing, right?
Oh, and Bakery Nouveau makes the worst macarons I’ve ever tasted. Dry and crumbly and wierdly enormous and just plain bad. The only people who like them seem to be the ones who think they’re called “macaroons.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_Kh7nLpl…
LOL @82, now that you mention, those ARE the only people that like them! 😀
As one of the employees that work there, I have to say that pretty much all of West Seattle does NOT share your opinion. Lines out the door every Saturday & Sunday says to me that it’s pretty Fu*king good.
@84: As evidenced by the multitude of 5-star Yelp reviews of your “macaroons,” there is no shortage of people in West Seattle who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.
Truth is, Nathowells, I think many of your other treats are fantastic! The less you try to make your desserts “French,” the better they succeed.
But your tentatives de faire des pâtisseries françaises are abjectly horrible.
There would be “lines out the door” for Coldplay tickets too. That doesn’t make them good.
LMAO @ coldplay comment above! YEAH!
I hope we have this on our orlando hotels florida resident specials!