Oh, it's just potato tea, potato crisp, and creme fraiche and chives.

**I did not post on days 2 and 3. All that happened were this (amazing!!!) and this (double amazing—more on this later). Also I stepped in poop a bunch.

First order of business: Does any bar in Seattle serve a “pickle back”? It’s a shot of liquor (mine was cheap whiskey) followed by a shot of pickle brine. The brine magically erases the janky whiskey and tastes like you just ate a crisp, refreshing pickle! Genius! Recommended! Someone in Seattle needs to get on that. I got mine here.

And now, LOOK AT MY FUCKING LUNCH. (The prettiest ones get bigger when you click on them.)

Oh, its just foie gras and wild boar and pickled root vegetables and some other shit I dont remember!
  • Oh, it’s just foie gras and wild boar and pickled root vegetables and some other shit I don’t remember!
Oh, its just potato tea, adorable herb bundle tied with raffia, potato crisps, and creme fraiche and chives.
  • Oh, it’s just potato tea, adorable herb bundle tied with raffia, potato crisps, and creme fraiche and chives.
Oh its just FOIE GRAS SNOW.
  • Oh it’s just FOIE GRAS SNOW.
Oh, its just endive and friends.
  • Oh, it’s just endive and friends.
Oh, its just gnocchi and shaved truffles.
  • Oh, it’s just gnocchi and shaved truffles.
Oh, its just sole and mushrooms and...leaves. Of some kind.
  • Oh, it’s just sole and mushrooms and…leaves. Of some kind.
Oh, its just prawns and butternut squash and tiny bacons and pumpkin seeds!
  • Oh, it’s just prawns and butternut squash and tiny bacons and pumpkin seeds!
Ohhhhh, its just a beef shortrib and some oxtail and marrow chunks and a big caramelized red onion!!!
  • Ohhhhh, it’s just a beef shortrib and some oxtail and marrow chunks and a big caramelized red onion!!!
OHHH! Its just venison tenderloin or some shit, and a pear with a hole in it, and some black stuff, and some white stuff, and some red currant jus, and some things that I believe are tiny brussels sprouts!!!!!!!!!
  • OHHH! It’s just venison tenderloin or some shit, and a pear with a hole in it, and some black stuff, and some white stuff, and some red currant jus, and some things that I believe are tiny brussels sprouts!!!!!!!!!
Oh, its just, like, a chocolate finger and brown butter ice cream and a sweet potato beignet. And foam.
  • Oh, it’s just, like, a chocolate finger and brown butter ice cream and a sweet potato beignet. And foam.
Oh, its just vanilla yogurt (?) ice cream, a crunchy powdery malt cracker, sticky olive oil reduction, and a little black pepper.
  • Oh, it’s just vanilla yogurt (?) ice cream, a crunchy powdery malt cracker, sticky olive oil reduction, and a little black pepper.
Oh, its just sweet potato brittle with pumpkin seeds! Oh, its just truffle truffles--as in chocolate truffles with actual mushroom truffles in it, WHICH WERE AMAZING.
  • Oh, it’s just sweet potato brittle with pumpkin seeds! Oh, it’s just truffle truffles—as in chocolate truffles with actual mushroom truffles in it, WHICH WERE AMAZING.
OH, ITS JUST A FUCKING COMPLIMENTARY JAR OF GRANOLA FOR NO REASON, BECAUSE PROVIDING OUR NEXT MEAL IS THE GENTLEMANLY THING TO DO.
  • OH, IT’S JUST A FUCKING COMPLIMENTARY JAR OF GRANOLA FOR NO REASON, BECAUSE PROVIDING OUR NEXT MEAL IS “THE GENTLEMANLY THING TO DO.”

You win this round, New York. You win. You magnificent bastard.

Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more....

55 replies on “Lost in New York, Day 4: Look at This Fucking Food I Just Ate”

  2. Aw, Lindy. You had whiskey and pickleback right in my own neighborhood and you did not say hi. I am hurt, but still glad you et well while here.

  3. Jesus Christ. TAKE ME WITH YOU

    But seriously, foam. I hate it. It looks like someone spat on your food.

    @27: Nah. I love eating something that’s beautiful too. (That sounds kind of dark.) I don’t see something that’s beautiful and necessarily think, “I’m not supposed to eat this” just like the way I don’t look at something that looks like poo thrown on a wall and think, “I AM supposed to eat this.”

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