Oh, it's just potato tea, potato crisp, and creme fraiche and chives.

**I did not post on days 2 and 3. All that happened were this (amazing!!!) and this (double amazing—more on this later). Also I stepped in poop a bunch.

First order of business: Does any bar in Seattle serve a “pickle back”? It’s a shot of liquor (mine was cheap whiskey) followed by a shot of pickle brine. The brine magically erases the janky whiskey and tastes like you just ate a crisp, refreshing pickle! Genius! Recommended! Someone in Seattle needs to get on that. I got mine here.

And now, LOOK AT MY FUCKING LUNCH. (The prettiest ones get bigger when you click on them.)

Oh, its just foie gras and wild boar and pickled root vegetables and some other shit I dont remember!
  • Oh, it’s just foie gras and wild boar and pickled root vegetables and some other shit I don’t remember!
Oh, its just potato tea, adorable herb bundle tied with raffia, potato crisps, and creme fraiche and chives.
  • Oh, it’s just potato tea, adorable herb bundle tied with raffia, potato crisps, and creme fraiche and chives.
Oh its just FOIE GRAS SNOW.
  • Oh it’s just FOIE GRAS SNOW.
Oh, its just endive and friends.
  • Oh, it’s just endive and friends.
Oh, its just gnocchi and shaved truffles.
  • Oh, it’s just gnocchi and shaved truffles.
Oh, its just sole and mushrooms and...leaves. Of some kind.
  • Oh, it’s just sole and mushrooms and…leaves. Of some kind.
Oh, its just prawns and butternut squash and tiny bacons and pumpkin seeds!
  • Oh, it’s just prawns and butternut squash and tiny bacons and pumpkin seeds!
Ohhhhh, its just a beef shortrib and some oxtail and marrow chunks and a big caramelized red onion!!!
  • Ohhhhh, it’s just a beef shortrib and some oxtail and marrow chunks and a big caramelized red onion!!!
OHHH! Its just venison tenderloin or some shit, and a pear with a hole in it, and some black stuff, and some white stuff, and some red currant jus, and some things that I believe are tiny brussels sprouts!!!!!!!!!
  • OHHH! It’s just venison tenderloin or some shit, and a pear with a hole in it, and some black stuff, and some white stuff, and some red currant jus, and some things that I believe are tiny brussels sprouts!!!!!!!!!
Oh, its just, like, a chocolate finger and brown butter ice cream and a sweet potato beignet. And foam.
  • Oh, it’s just, like, a chocolate finger and brown butter ice cream and a sweet potato beignet. And foam.
Oh, its just vanilla yogurt (?) ice cream, a crunchy powdery malt cracker, sticky olive oil reduction, and a little black pepper.
  • Oh, it’s just vanilla yogurt (?) ice cream, a crunchy powdery malt cracker, sticky olive oil reduction, and a little black pepper.
Oh, its just sweet potato brittle with pumpkin seeds! Oh, its just truffle truffles--as in chocolate truffles with actual mushroom truffles in it, WHICH WERE AMAZING.
  • Oh, it’s just sweet potato brittle with pumpkin seeds! Oh, it’s just truffle truffles—as in chocolate truffles with actual mushroom truffles in it, WHICH WERE AMAZING.
OH, ITS JUST A FUCKING COMPLIMENTARY JAR OF GRANOLA FOR NO REASON, BECAUSE PROVIDING OUR NEXT MEAL IS THE GENTLEMANLY THING TO DO.
  • OH, IT’S JUST A FUCKING COMPLIMENTARY JAR OF GRANOLA FOR NO REASON, BECAUSE PROVIDING OUR NEXT MEAL IS “THE GENTLEMANLY THING TO DO.”

You win this round, New York. You win. You magnificent bastard.

Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more....

55 replies on “Lost in New York, Day 4: Look at This Fucking Food I Just Ate”

  2. Ha! The granola is a nice touch for such a fancy looking place, but the foam trend drives me nuts. Ok, I’ve never had it, but it’s fucking foam for chrissake!

  13. Dear Lindy, as you know, Cornichon is the French word for pickle (or gherkin, if you want to get fancy-shmancy). Hence pickle-brine is a wel-known commodity in my household. Less known is the secondary meaning of “cornichon.” In French, it’s a mild insult (never said to one’s face): “Quel cornichon!” (What a dick). So that shot of pickle-juice, think of it as a mild rebuke: You honey-bitch! You jerk! Got that? Good. Let’s move on.

  14. Hmm, I love New York, but sweet jesus, that is some painfully pretentious presentation, there. It reminds me of the Tall Food epidemic a few years back, now it’s Jackson Pollack on a plate. The vanilla yogurt and pepper one made me think of a children’s story illustration, where some little creature makes footprints in the snow, pees next to a snowbank, and walks on. Or something. I would rather eat some gooey lasagne, crusty bread, and a kick-ass red in a noisy restaurant than skewer truffled pea beans one by one onto my fork. But then I’ve lived in Canada for a long time, and we like poutine, and I probably have no palate…

  16. The presentation is a bit of a mess, but that shit still looks good. I can’t speak to the venison, but the short ribs looks perfectly cooked to medium rare, perhaps sous vide. Drooling now, closing window.

  18. Is that an “O.M.G. this was so beautiful and just delicious” or “do they really expect me to pay for this shit” look at this fucking food?

  24. #23 is right.

    Whiskey is a gorgeous, beautiful, divine, substance, why would you ruin it with pickle brine?

    If you want to get drunk without tasting the booze, stick to vodka and rum drinks.

    Or you could, you know, grow a soul and learn to like whiskey.

  26. Yeah, but can you get a crappy hot dog with cream cheese on it, huh, can you, huh, can you? Seattle style. Or so I hear; I wouldn’t eat one.

    Plates like that always create a terrible tension inside me, between the overwhelming desire to lick the plate, which is often the only way to get any of those sauce droplets up, and the overwhelming sense that this place of all places is not a place for plate-licking. Even though you might starve if you don’t.

  27. I’m sure the food was delicious (I would hope so, for the price on the website!), but picture #6 made me laugh. The artistically smeared baby shit-colored sauce, at a perfect angle to the rest of the food….so very precious! This Slog post is perfect, because this food is meant to be admired, not eaten.

    And Canuck FTW on the yogurt pic.

  29. Regarding where in Seattle you can get pickle juice chasers, I work at Po Dog and we at times give cups of pickle juice to Auto Battery if a customer requests it for their whiskey shots. So if you want them, we’ll provide!

  30. She’s posting pictures of a food parade fancier than anything her mother ever prepared for her and you whiskey lovers are the snobs.

    Oh, nuance.

  32. Fado does their picklebacks with Jameson. I’m fond of having mine with Maker’s, but I’m fond of having everything with Maker’s.

  35. Sidewalk hot dogs with cream cheese, I never, until my friend made me, with ketchup and onions. Delish. Unlike pickle backs, which are disgusting.

  37. I’ve never heard of a pickle back, but it rhymes with nickelback, and I’d hate to order one in a loud bar and have the bartender not hear me and think I have just shit taste in music.

  42. @40 I doubt it has a very high IQ, but I bet it’s super yummy. I love eating like that. A couple tastes of one flavor and then you’re on to another. One meal is a dozen new experiences.

    @38 Jesus Christ! that was uncalled for. Before you post, try saying it out loud, or imagine someone saying it to you. Maybe you won’t come off as such a black-hearted bitter old crone. Blech.

  43. Sheesh, Lindy. I think we are wondering why you chose to drink a whiskey that you describe as “janky”, “cheap”, and “rotgut-ass” in the first place. Was that the only whiskey available? The recommended one? I don’t think anyone was judging you. I wasn’t, anyway. I hope you have a good day.

  45. Oh, the pickle back! I was certain I was going to hate it (I despise whiskey), but damn what an awesome (and cheap) shot! We must have them here in Seattle!

  46. Gee, for someone on vacation you’re sure in a mood. I understand too much pickle juice will do that to ya. Hopefully it’s passed by now.

    When we were kids and got ourselves all in a huff about something, my mother would say “You’re just not fit to be around. Go to your room and think about what is bothering you and then come back when your attitude improves”. Needless to say if we returned with the same shitty attitude we were sent back to our rooms and a 1 to 2 hour timer was put on us. Worked everytime.

  48. @25- The air is very nice. Seriously, why drink cheap whiskey? There’s vodka that’s just as cheap and only has a slight kerosene taste. And if you put it in a girl drink, you don’t taste it at all.

  49. That shit does not look appealing to me at all, except the prawns. And I’m with #2 – enough with the fucking foam presented as food, already. Foam is for coffee drinks.

    When I get back to New York, I head straight for the eggplant parm, the bialys (from Kosser’s), to Flatbush for Trinidadian roti, to Brighton Beach for perogies and vodka … Lindy can have the precious haute cuisine.

Comments are closed.