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Have you ever danced with wild abandon to the sounds of a 330-pound bearded Italian man wearing lipstick, bondage gear, and fishnet? A man with a sexy-smooth falsetto voice not unlike androgynous 1970s disco superstar Sylvester? What if I told you this man is…

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Kelly O—formerly a Stranger staff photographer, music writer, Drunk of the Week columnist, and more!—finished art school and a soul-crushing internship at a corporate advertising agency in Detroit,...