Kill a pike, save a salmon. Credit: mihtiander/Getty Images
Kill a pike, save a salmon.
Kill a pike, save a salmon. mihtiander/Getty Images

Why so secretive, Uber and Lyft? We just wanna peek at your goods! Err, data. Or at least, your drivers want to. Uber and Lyft show no interest in transparency relating to their data. Recently, the ride share companies dropped a court case pertaining to their ridership data in Seattle. Now they are facing another case about Sea-Tac Airport. A driver for both companies wants access to their data to avoid making passengerless trips back from Sea-Tac, a common occurrence for drivers that loses them revenue and efficiency.

AMAZON HQ2 HAS BEEN CHOSEN AND WE COULDN’T BE MORE EXCITED: Could you tell by all the caps? We’re mostly excited they didn’t pull some surprise stunt by which they open up HQ2 here. HQ2 will be reportedly split halfsies between Queens, New York, and the Crystal City area of Arlington, Virginia. How are people in Queens reacting to finding out that they will be subsidizing, via tax breaks, Jeff Bezos’s massive business? Just ask Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez!

And how will the new headquarters compare to the real deal here in Seattle?

CNN is suing narcissist-in-chief Donald Trump: On multiple grounds. Just pile it on the ever growing Wikipedia page for Trump’s legal affairs.

I’m wearing a fucking snowboarding coat at my computer but at least it is going to be sunny soon, I’m promised: I also haven’t been snowboarding in two years.

Kyrsten Sinema wins Senate seat in Arizona: Nathalie, of Slog PM acclaim, mentioned this yesterday, but I wanted to mention that this is the first Democratic win for an open Arizona Senate seat since 1976, and not only that, but Senator Kyrsten Sinema is also the first-ever openly bisexual Senator. She will take over the seat emptied by Senator Jeff “The Flake” Flake. Sinema is very much a moderate, but honestly that’s about as good as it gets in Arizona.

Bring the NHL to Seattle? Hmm, there seems to be some dissonance between what Mayor Jenny Durkan believes, and what the NHL believes. Who can you trust?

These are the actual invaders you should be worried about, and a wall won’t stop them: They’re called Northern Pike, they have sharp ass teeth, and they’re moving in quick on our Salm-baes! The predators were thought to live a safe distance from the recovering populations of salmon in the Columbia River, but were recently caught only 10 miles away. I don’t want to scare you, but, “Northern Pike attack their prey by surprise ambush. They’ve been found with bats and mice in their gut.” Surprise ambush?! They eat bats? Northwest Sportsman Magazine Editor Andy Walgamott is offering $50 bounties on the first three of these horror-fish caught, so grab your fishing gear people, it’s time to get paid!

Nancy Pelosi wants the speakership, not for herself, but for women: As she said on “Face the Nation,”

You cannot have the four leaders of Congress [and] the president of the United States, these five people, and not have the voice of women. Especially since women were the majority of the voters, the workers in campaigns, and now part of this glorious victory.

Rep.-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez however, has joined environmental activists against Pelosi.

Michelle Obama only let her hubby run for President because she didn’t think he’d win: Michelle Obama recently released a memoir that has been making the rounds. One revelation that came from it was that, while Michelle fully supported and believed Barack Obama, she didn’t really believe he could win. As she puts it, “Barack was a black man in America, after all.” Remember when we had a President and a first lady with perspective, class, and intelligence? It truly is a fond memory. I hope one day we can feel that sense of pride again.

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: A timely book talk from Those Who Knew author Idra Novey, a screening of Jim Jarmusch’s Memphis-set film Mystery Train, and some thrashy atmospheric drone music with Daughters, Dreamdecay, and Haunted Horses.