You traffic cheaters are safe for now. Credit: NIpitphand/Getty Images
You traffic cheaters are safe for now.
You traffic cheaters are safe for now. NIpitphand/Getty Images

ACLU kills a traffic camera bill in Olympia: The bill would have allowed automated traffic cameras to send out tickets for people driving in bus lanes (we’re looking at you, Todd Herman) and blocking crosswalks downtown. The house chose not to vote on it, which essentially ends the bill’s short life. The ACLU was against the bill for what it saw as the potential for law enforcement to use the cameras for criminal surveillance and investigations. There is another bill in the legislature that would empower the police to use photos from all traffic cameras for investigations and if passed, any new traffic cameras would broaden the scope of their surveillance power. The ACLU is at least delaying the eventual Black Mirror world we’re headed toward.

The Washington Senate passed a bill to study single-payer health care: And in classic study fashion, they waited until the last possible moment to approve the new work group. Despite Republican attempts to slow-roll the bill with stories of Canadians they’d met on airplanes and musing about Venezuela, the Democratic-controlled senate passed a bill that would form a new work group to see how single-payer health care could be implemented in Washington State. The group would file its report by November 15 of next year, so mark your calendars.

A global school strike for climate change is happening tomorrow: It could be the largest environmental youth gathering of all time, and the 16-year-old who organized it was just nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Swedish environmental activist Greta Thunberg has become an absolute force to be reckoned with following a speech she gave to the UN Climate Change Conference that went viral. She said, “I don’t want your hope. I don’t want you to be hopeful. I want you to panic… and act as if the house is on fire.” The climate strike will start in Cal Anderson Park at 10 a.m. tomorrow. I’ll see you there!

Media Matters is now in the hot seat: But that doesn’t mean Tucker Carlson is off the hook. Comments the president of the media watchdog group, Angelo Carusone, made about Jews, “transvestites,” and Japanese people surfaced again yesterday. This fed the fire of whataboutism for their resurfacing of Tucker Carlson’s old controversial tapes. But what if I told you it’s possible for both of these guys to be trash? Neither has apologized for their comments yet.

House votes unanimously to demand a full Mueller report: It turns out they’re just as scared as we are that partisan players in the Department of Justice may try to bury the contents of Mueller two year inquiry into the Trump campaign and all the alleged and convicted crimes that have spun off the campaign. The resolution is nonbinding, so it doesn’t force the Department of Justice’s hand, but it does build up political pressure on Attorney General William Barr to release the report.

Happy Pi Day: Celebrate however you see fit. If you’re into baking, make a delicious apple pie with a generous helping of cinnamon. If you’re more of savory person, go get a free slice of pizza. And if you’re a huge nerd like me, try to learn as many digits of pi as possible before realizing it’s a total waste of time.

Beto O’Rourke is (officially) running for president: It took him that fucking long to announce, and he couldn’t even put together a slick video edit that will all at once inspire me and scare me into voting? Most other candidates had cool videos—and I’m a sucker for a good campaign video—but Beto opted for a more folksy shot of him and his wife sitting at home on the couch, while he laid down some political beat poetry. Nathalie already announced this last night, but the video only came out this morning. And announcement videos are all anyone cares about, right? No, just me?

Oh the weather outside is… sunny and warm?

South African man was “eaten” by a whale: Well not eaten, but I got your attention, didn’t I? But now you feel lied to—and that, my friend, is the double-edged sword of clickbait. The man was snorkeling with a Bryde’s whale, trying to get a photo of the whale eating small fish, when all of a sudden, the world went dark and he realized he was inside the whale. Unlike Finding Nemo where they exit via the blowhole, the whale promptly realized its mistake and released the man back into the sea. Unfortunately, his name wasn’t Jonah, because that would just be too perfect, but his name was Rainier, so there’s my Northwest angle!

I swear I watched this 50 times yesterday: My roommate came across our house to see what the hell I was laughing at for 10 minutes. He didn’t think it was that funny, but maybe you will. (Must have sound on!)

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: Philly experimental rockers Man Man, a whole bunch of chances to eat special flaky treats for Pi Day, and a memior reading of Era of Ignition: Coming of Age in a Time of Rage and Revolution with Amber Tamblyn.

Timothy Kenney is a former Slog AM intern. He's written for multiple Seattle outlets, helped CNN cover a mudslide in Sierra Leone, and almost threw up on James Franco once.