Celebrate your great American independence with an afternoon in a park packed full of stuff to delight and divert you and your entire goddamn family. Among the attractions of the 11th Annual Independence Day Picnic: free hot dogs (beef and Field Roast) from noon to 2 p.m.! A pie-eating contest! A pet/human look-alike contest! Group yoga! And music, from kid-pleasers (the Not-Its!) to bluesy punks (Gnarlene and the Frisky Pigs) to Brazilian jazz (Choro Loco). Wear sunscreen. (Cal Anderson Park, 1635 11th Ave, calandersonpark.org, noon–5 pm, free)

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...