So, I’m in L.A. for the weekend, and I just got back from touring the single most amazing place I have ever been: the Michael Jackson auction collection at the Beverly Hilton. AND MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
Michael Jackson—in case you hadn’t heard—accidentally got super destitute because he spent all of his money on flying carpets and gold-plated robot butlers, so he decided to auction off all his shit to raise a bunch of millions of dollars. (Or something. Please do not quote me on the details.) Except then he changed his mind and asked for the stuff back, so now there’s NOT going to be an auction (boooo!), but that’s not really important. What’s important is that I still got to go and LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF.
THE STUFF.
IS CRAZY.
Touring the Michael Jackson auction collection is exactly like touring the inside of MJ’s baroque, gold-plated crazybrain. Turns out, the inside of MJ’s baroque, gold-plated crazybrain is the most fun and wondrous place you’ve ever been. It’s also suuuper depressing!
It’s the kind of place where it’s impossible to decide what to take a picture of. IMPOSSIBLE! Everything is fucked up AND totally fucked. The weirdest revelation of the day was MJ’s apparent obsession with lifesize wax figures of elderly white people in folksy poses and varying bonnets. The Creepiest Piece of Furniture Award goes to “child-size chaise lounge” (for child-size reclining nude?). But the overall Best Shit Ever is CLEARLY the vast collection of MJ-themed art, for which words do not suffice. (Far too many pictures after the jump!)
Follow me, follow me…
A Child’s Garden of Alleged Bad Touching 
A lot of the stuff is weirdly homemade/bush-league, like this Zoo sign.
This woman was LITERALLY WEEPING in the sculpture garden, and in this photograph is tenderly pressing her cheek to the golden gates of Neverland.
“Socks.”
“Art.”
Roddy McDowall?
Something about this dirty mat made me sad.
California Raisin collection.
This was not right.
DEAR GOD WHY WAS THE AUCTION CANCELED!?
DEAR GOD WHY WAS THE AUCTION CANCELED!? PART TWO
DEAR GOD WHY WAS THE AUCTION CANCELED!? PART TWO (detail)
As far as I can tell, this one involves Peter Pan and MJ watching in horror/furtive pleasure as the Three Stooges, Kermit the Frog, the ghost of Walt Disney, and Shirley Temple all conspire to rape Charlie Chaplin.
Edward’s actual Scissorhands.
Original paintings by Michael Jackson (top) and Macaulay Culkin (bottom). I WOULD NOT JOKE ABOUT THIS.
See this chef guy? There were ten more like him in different outfits just lounging on the furniture all over the place. And some of them were ladies. Did MJ always dream of having whimsical white grandparents?
Can you read this? It’s a letter from Ronald Reagan expressing his condolences about that time Michael Jackson caught on fire.
Gew! Gew gew gewww!
“I’m a multidimensional creature…”
Goodbye! (FOR NOW…)
@85: favorite slog comment of all time.
Woooooo…….
Ummmm…….so what exactly did you find exciting enough to warrant your breathless posts?
Would you pay $30 million for a mason jar full of piss and a turd? Much of his “art” is no worse than what the wealthy class(less?) collect. You need to get out more often. You’re not getting enough sun.
No, it’s not true that this is no worse than any other wealthy people’s collections, because all this ‘art’ is about HIM. It’s a big ego-trip which he was unfortunately able to afford.
While other rich people do also spend fortunes on collecting ugly or questionable ‘art’ works, they don’t normally commission art based mainly on their own physical form, with the sole aim of personal aggrandisement. That’s what makes it all weird.
Those socks – I may have to make some now.
Just damn. I think I saw those little red-haired girls in a George Romero movie piping “Brains! Brains!”
i haven’t been so weirded out and laughed this hard at the same time, ever.
the conspired rape of charlie chaplin FTW!!!
damm first his hair then his skin now neverland………daggone !
Has anyone else noticed that Dan’s stealing the top ten on SLOG again?
After i saw that, i’m convinced, that Jacko should be put in lunatc asylum till the end of his life.
yikes!
one man’s trash in another man’s treasure i guess…
I noticed the socks right off too. It’s just so cool. Why buy Michael’s when you can go to Fred Meyers and get everything to make your own.
Auntie Em Auntie Em! Holy Batshit! All the stories of the madness are indeed true. Captain Nut Job should be forced to auction all this crapola off. Donate the proceeds to charity! Come the fuck on! What is he so afraid of? Why doesn’t he want this stuff sold? He’s obviously a classic hoarder and has a shopping addiction, among other addictions, like having so many plastic surgeries he has no more real nose left. If he is indeed out of money and is going to have to play dozens if not hundreds of concerts to make back his fortune and pay off his deep debts, then he should also sell off this creep show sideshow menagerie as well. I just bet he is so afraid of having the public’s ‘cooties’ all over his belongings, though. Just like all people with a hoarding and or shopping addiction, YOU HAVE TO SELL IT OFF OR THROW IT AWAY EVENTUALLY! You cannot keep it all forever.
I agree some of the stuff pictured is just downright creepy! Ewww!
Some of it does obviously have some financial value, but a lot of it is just trash. MJ is just like the rest of us. He has trash that needs to be thrown out, too.
Scary trash, but it’s still trash. I hope he gets the help he so fucking desperately needs, the PSYCHO!
Now I actually feel normal
What are you people looking at that you find so weird and fucked? Or is it because the idiot who wrote this told you it was? Do you watch a Disney film and think that’s fucked because you see children? Sounds like your own issue.
The fucked person is Linda, there were thousands of things there,but for some reason she tried to make something out of this stuff. It’s a reflection that Linda is fucked up and no doubt ugly as shit. White people are so fucking stupid.
He sucks penis.
Kids penis.
@60 for chief of defense
The Cub Scouts kicked Sick-o Mich-o out because he was up to two packs a day. I wonder how many Boy Toy’s the Arabs are giving The Sultan Of “Twink” to play with. Whether or not Michael is a PED or not has still not been proven in a court of law, BUT the crazy ass photo’s of this delusional whack-o should tell you that sanity left him stranded about four exits ago.
Okay, I’ve just realized that I’m sitting here with my mouth literally hanging wide open. Thank you for posting these pictures. I’ve never seen ‘mentally disturbed’ represented in 3D before. And I need to go wash my brain. The creep factor in this small group of pictures is off the scale. Is that how MJ saw himself? As a white boy being crowned king, ranked alongside presidents and cartoon characters, and leading all the happy little children, fairies and gnomes any pedophile could want? I’d love to see more pictures of this, and I hope you do post them, but right now I have to go look at what’s on my shelves and hope there’s nothing approaching even slightly wierd. I’ll never look at a little butterfly-winged fairy the same way. It’s the bin for you, wings, and take that unicorn with you!
The word for the day is eeewwwwww!
that one painting with his smile and that slingshot is creeeeeeeeepy
the ego sure shows with the crowns and that one of him and the others of important history with his shades on like E.T lol wow i wanna see more pics too no wonder he never let anyone take pics there
LOL @ #27! I know! Its like one of those giant hamburgers they challenge you to finish off at some diner off the highway. You have no idea where to start and every angle you approach it just presents you with another challenge. It’s fucked up on multiple levels. Just when you get your brain around one part there are more loose threads that only lead you to the conclusion that no sane mind could ever generate a complete picture of just how foaming at the mouth mad Michael Jackson really is. When he dangled the kid out the window a few years back that’s when I knew it was a wrap!
Ok, he’s too insane to be a child molester. He’s like Doc Manhattan from Watchmen somehow, probably including a blue penis.
He’s one sick fu**
I presume Michael comissioned that fantastic sequinned glove montage (or was it perhaps a ‘gift’ from one of his artistically inclined followers ?)
Words really fail to do that incredible picture any justice……it is , quite simply, a supreme masterpiece of unintentional comic genius.
If Mad Mike wants to flog it , I would definitely be interested .
My life would be complete if I owned that.
It’s all material. I’m glad he got what he sowed. He reaped what he sowed. Because of Michael Jackson? I couldn’t do a Beatles Song in the Style of music I do. That’s why I’m glad he is in Trouble. good for his ass. I wouldn’t buy any of this stuff. It all belongs in a Dusty Museum along with him. Because of him? a record I was on was Shelved. It tarnished my musical career somewhat and made me lose wages causing me to lose wages. So i’m glad that he’s going through what he needs to go through. He should have paid it forward back then? and let me do what I was going to do. The Philosophy was and always is? You make me look good? and I’ll make you look good. You should never step on people’s toes going up because you see them when you come back down. He didn’t follow these precepts opting to be selfish.
Thank you for this.
okay… this comes via a radio DJ in LA.. specifically KFI. He had gone to the auction/display and was told .. via someone who would know MJ had a lot of those statues around.. in different clothes… so he would “never feel alone” YA know… I still kinda feel sorry for the guy… He never really had a child hood..and an abusive father.. Probably odd growing up being THE Micheal Jackson. Granted, there is no excuse for some of his behavior.. but.. it is more sad than creepy to me…
On the coffee table, it breaks the ice at any get-together:
Michael Jackson Public Exhibition Five Catalog Box Set:
http://www.juliensauctions.com/shop/inde…
$200
@34: you’re not the only one. i instantly thought she needed comforting. vigorous, energetic, horizontal comforting!
What I see is a love for kids. What’s wrong with that? He is an artist with more money than he can spend, and he is expressing his individuality with it. There is nothing weird about him at all. He was never convicted of molesting children and in this country that is supposed to mean he’s innocent. But it really doesn’t does it, he’s guilty just because he was accused by some failure who wanted his money. Crucify him I say, if it would make you feel better about your own failures.
This is the freakiest collection of random weird art I’ve ever seen. It’s tragic, yet you can’t look away.
I peed in a cat once
Up until now, I really, really thought I knew what “bat-shit crazy” meant. I was wrong.
~Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on April 17, 2009 at 6:55 PM
lmfao.
There were alot of fascinating and very interesting items at the Julien’s Michael Jackson Neverland Valley Ranch auction. Much better than Graceland and I am surprised that someone didn’t purchase the whole lot to do just that. Not as much tacky stuff as you would imagine. The FX molds of his face are very different to say the least.
Several hundred HQ pictures here
http://www.jlaforums.com/album.php – just scroll down to the MJ Photo Gallery Section.
Renata Nummela Caine
Had a tuchis as big as a plane
When she sat on my hat
It went flatter than flat
Renata is such a big pain!
During Lent we are urged to make fast
We are never supposed to molest
But Michael’s a big pederast
Wants weenies instead of suck breast!
He’s the king when it comes to making music….but come on!!!!
All he needs is someone to suck his dick!! and look like to the world he is gay.
OMFG! I have chefs sitting in my living room too, but they are….nude cows that fly around chasing spiders in their wonder wheels! Oh damn, I am MJ….nope nevermind, just a white guy that used to be black!
this shit should all be destroyed and dumped into the sea along with him, all his records, videos and anything else evident of him so that we and our future generations will not see how foolish our society was for putting a sick child molester up where he was.
“Art” is definitely correct. I wonder what his entire thought process was when purchasing all this crap.
should’ve had the cast he had on his foot when he got ‘bit by a spider’ (this is what mike said when asked in a news conference what was wrong with his foot as it had a large cast set upon it… it went:
“what happened to your foot michael?”
michael replied
“a spider bit meee”
i heard no more as i was too busy laughing.
It amazes me how people talk to damn much. Who the fuck are you to judge. Reading most of the comments I would say you guys and the one that took the photos are fucked up. What is really weird is when people like you guys have nasty thing’s to say about one man’s life or anybody’s for that matter which doesn’t affect you in any way. How fucked up and crazy that is. My advice to you, if you’re not perfect yourself then just shut the fuck up already. People that can is just laughing at you, trust me.
I personally am disturbed over the vast…collections of children statues, cartoon characters, and all other stuff we would depict with childhood.
Wow! Thanks for sharing all that. How absurdly bizarre. jan
This man needs to be shot for the good of mankind.
“This man needs to be shot for the good of mankind.”
A fitting epitaph.
I agree!(With John Gallagher) (What sucks is , we won’t see anything but MJ on t.v for 6 months!)
I think Rick James said it best; “He’s a super freak, super freak, he’s super freaky now!”