Why, in these days of swine flu, do you have to touch my newborn
baby? Just because we’re at the grocery store or church at the same
time does not give you the right to paw my child. Her immune system
isn’t fully developed yet, and she would get sicker than you with your
germs. You’ll never go to the hospital with her; your life won’t be
ruined if she dies. So keep your hands off! Next time you take a step
toward my baby, ignoring my warning glare, don’t be surprised if I rip
you a new one. recommended

108 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  3. In all fairness, her immune system will never fully develop if she’s never exposed to germs. That’s how the immune system thing works. You have to be exposed to diseases in order to fight them off in the future. Did people not pay attention in biology? My guess is that if she contracted Swine flu, she’d still fare it better than you would. Children are much more resilient. Not to mention that there have only been a handful of cases in the whole U.S. where people have died from Swine Flu. So chill the fuck out.

  6. Nora, my guess is that you’re not a mom? Did you ever consider that it’s not always feasible for new parents to put themselves on lockdown after they have a baby? Especially single parents??? Somebody has to buy the groceries!

    As a mom of three, I find it disturbing that anyone would suggest that parents concerned about the health of their newborn should just stay home. Getting out of the house was all that kept me sane in those first few months caring for my 24-hour need machines!

    In all honesty, your comment makes your appear a bit ignorant and uncaring…

  8. Nora – My guess is that you’re not a mom? Did it ever occur to you that it’s not always feasible for parents to stay on 24-hour lockdown with their newborn babies? Especially single parents??? Somebody has to buy the groceries!

    As a mom of 3, I find your suggestion to be ignorant…bordering on offensive.

  9. Seriously, though, people think a newborn is license to touch, whether you know the person or not. Apparently babies are not entitled to personal space. It’s creepy and rude.

  11. I kept my kids home as much as possible when they were new, for lots of reasons. My husband was able to stay home with them when I wasn’t. Still, why do people fail to see just how rude it is to grab someone’s baby to tweak, pinch, tickle and bounce? While we’re at it, keep your hands off of pregnant women’s bellies until invited. I LOVE babies more than puppies or kittens and I would never just reach out to hold or touch a baby or small child OR ANYONE I am not already on such familiar terms with, unless they were falling from a balcony or trapped in a burning car.

  12. OK, then, let me put it this way–if you take your newborn out in public, you are exposing her to all kinds of airborne germs, never mind what sort of germs might be on the hands of people wanting to touch your baby. People with young puppies are generally advised not to take the puppy out among lots of people/other dogs before the puppy gets its first set of shots or risk it picking up diseases.

    And of COURSE people want to touch your newborn–they’re wired that way. It would be nicer if they would ask, of course. MY point is that if you’re that concerned about it, don’t take your baby out in public.

  13. 12: you’re exposing them to airborne germs at home also, unless the entire family just quarantines themselves in the basement for 5 years. The risk of infection increases exponentially, though, with actual physical contact.

    Since the risk of simply being in public is nothing compared to the risk of having your cheeks pinched by elderly strangers with weak immune systems, I’d say that it’s perfectly logical to bring your child into public, but expect people not to smear their hands all over it.

  14. That, and it’s YOUR child. Viruses or no viruses, it’s rude anyway. I expect perfect strangers to avoid just reaching out and grabbing at my shirt sleeves, my wallet, my bike, and my groceries (well isn’t this just DELICIOUS? Horseradish root! Let me smell!). If I had a baby, it would apply to that, too.

  15. On the contrary…please take your babies out in public as need be. Please also keep in mind that your baby is no more special than any other baby to anyone in the world except you, regardless of all the sad sad people who don’t have children of their own trying to grope at your kid. So please stop telling me about how clever it is that your child is discovering ladybugs, or toffee, or what it feels like to walk on grass without shoes.

    This also goes for your pre-school child.

  16. @5 you’re wrong. baby’s immune system is underdeveloped, but it has the beauty of mom’s milk to get them through the sick times. if the baby is not being breastfed, this could be more of an issue but typically babies have a better chance of weathering sickness than adults until they’re about 1 or so.

    regardless, i don’t particularly mind when people touch my baby but i do appreciate them to at least ask first. it’s not about germs – its about personal space.

  17. Dear I, anonymous: Little children eat dirt and anything else they find on the ground. Your baby is not now and will never be germ-free nor should it be. If you don’t want people touching your baby, fine, but your concern about germs is ridiculous.

  19. Who the hell wants to touch a newborn in the first place? They are usually ugly, crying and smell of soiled diapers.

    That being said…Get over yourself lady, my guess is you have some sort of baby Munchausen’s disorder and are just flouting your newborn around in hopes of getting attention and then bitching about the attention it brings.

    Seek help!

  21. why don’t you put a note on the baby carrier that says “please don’t touch the baby” instead of glaring at people. that might be more effective. i think it is so rude that strangers feel they have a right to touch a pregnant woman’s tummy or their young child. the least they could do is ask.

  24. Yeah, I’m with touchy. A sign that says “please don’t touch the baby” and one o’ them mail order TASERS resting on the top of the blanky, real close to your hand on the shopping cart.

  26. I’ve a got a family member who STILL makes us wash our hands if we handle her 8 MONTH old child. Its getting tedious. Newborn, yeah, keep the hands of the newborn, but at some point, they gotta come out of the bubble.

  27. I can tell most of the posters are teenagers or still stuck in that mindset. “OMG! A BABY out in public! Keep those things at home!” – Grow up! There’s no reason why infants have to be quarantined and there’s a very good reason why people should ASK before touching someone else’s baby – It’s called MANNERS! You can disagree about whether you’d want someone touching YOUR infant but you don’t have any right to make that decision for someone else’s infant. ASK FIRST – how hard is that?

  28. “I’ve a got a family member who STILL makes us wash our hands if we handle her 8 MONTH old child. Its getting tedious.”

    Oh boo-waa! You’re supposed to wash your hands frequently to keep healthy anyway. You are probably one of those disgusting people who doesn’t wash after using the restroom. Oh, I have to WASH MY HANDS – a fate worse than death!

  29. I completely understand a that parents don’t want people touching their kids. I think it’s rude to touch someone else without asking unless that person happens to be someone like a friend or relative that you know is okay with personal contact.

    But germs? Give me a break? Kids will be exposed to germs no matter what.

    If you’re really worried about a young and not yet fully immunized baby’s health do something to convince all those stupid parents that won’t get their children immunized for diseases like whooping cough. Whooping cough and the like are things that are way more likely than the occasional stranger’s poke to kill your kid.

  30. I’m totally with you Anonymous on not liking the touching without permission (which starts when you’re pregnant too … that’s still MY belly. HANDS OFF!). One solution is to make the baby less accessible, by wearing him/her in a sling or snuggli.

  33. Nora, OF COURSE men you don’t know want to touch your breasts! They are wired that way. It’d be nicer if they asked, but if you’re concerned about it don’t take your breasts out in public.

  34. This woman is NOT overreacting, and wanting to keep your child healthy is a sign of a GOOD mother, not a crazy one.

    http://www.jsonline.com/news/44103687.ht…

    According to the CDC, an average of 20,000 children under the age of 5 are hospitalized each year because of influenza complications. In addition, in the 2007-’08 flu season, CDC received reports that 86 children died from influenza-related complications. In general, influenza complications are more severe in children younger than 2 and children with chronic health problems such as asthma, diabetes or heart disease. At this time, it is unclear if the novel H1N1 swine influenza virus will pose a greater threat to young children than the usual influenza viruses that circulate each year. It is important for parents to help prevent the spread of influenza and other viruses by keeping children’s hands clean and helping them cover their mouths when coughing and sneezing.

    Influenza viruses spread by droplets while coughing or sneezing. These droplets typically fall to the ground within 3 to 6 feet of the person who is infected. The virus can also be spread on the hands of infected individuals. Cough etiquette, careful hand cleansing, and avoiding unnecessary contact with others are the best precautionary measures that an individual infected with influenza can take to prevent the spread of disease. Since viruses can live outside the body on surfaces for up to several hours, it is important to remember to wash hands frequently. Surgical masks can help decrease spread when worn by an infected individual, as the mask may trap droplets during coughing or sneezing. It is not recommended at this time that uninfected persons wear masks to prevent infection.

  36. You know why people want to touch your baby? Because of animal instinct. Human beings are social animals. Being social is the key to our evolutionary success. A deep, deep part of their brain is saying “help the tribe” when they see a baby.

    And you know what else? Babies want to be touched. Babies crave social interaction. They do not care about the fancy mobile above their crib. They are learning from the things like them around them. Kids that grow up without love and touch turn into sociopathic monsters. Your baby, even a newborn, is learning your behavior RIGHT NOW, that other people should be actively shunned.

    Get over your germophobia. Be polite to people who aren’t sick. If they are polite back, let them and the baby interact. That’s what humans do.

  37. The correct way to approach a baby in public is to say to the adult “Oh, She’s darling! How old?” and then after a few minutes of chatter, you might say “May I hold her?” and wait for the parent to either hand over the bundle or say “Oh, no, she’s just gotten settled (has been sniffling/ fusses something awful around new people)”
    Never, never just reach out and handle a strange baby- whether it’s in a stroller or still lounging in its mother’s womb- Someday, a very pregnant woman is going to snap when a stranger rubs her belly uninvited…. and one mom on the jury will be enough to get an acquittal on the murder charge.

  38. The more people touch your baby, and the more dirty your baby gets, the better your child’s immune system and health will be. Sanitation-obsessed idiots is what brought us the Polio epidemic and the current allergy-saturated children of today.

    Babies’ immune systems are strong as long as they’re well-fed with breast milk. As the reasonable people in this thread said, chill the fuck out.

  39. I second the formentioned comment “chill the fuck out.” Children do fair better being exposed to different germs. No wonder children have so many allergies these days – some of them are in lock down by their paranoid parents.

  40. I grew up in an area with a culture that considers you “giving the child the evil eye” if a baby is seen and admired, but not touched.

    I don’t know you, but I honestly think you may be overreacting just a little. Of course you don’t want some weirdo touching your kid, but at least you can tell them no-in person, mind you- if it makes you uncomfortable.

    An easy thing to do before someone touches your baby is ask them if they are sick. Done. Babies need touch. It’s how they develop their senses. They need the human contact. If you are that terrified, carry hand sanitizer in your purse.

  41. Hmm. So if you go outside with your baby, and you touch other people or things, and you touch your baby without washing your hands, it’s perfectly safe. Right.

    In Chinese culture, I understand it’s quite traditional for parents not to take their baby out into the public until it’s about a month old. (For the fancy parents, sometimes a celebratory banquet is held for the month-old milestone.)

    I think this is partly for maternal health and bonding reasons, but quite probably for health reasons too. I never asked my mom, but she always remarked on how weird it was that North Americans took their newborns out into public.

    Still, I understand, to an extent. I love other people’s (well-behaved) babies but I never touch them if the parents haven’t told me it’s OK. I generally don’t touch anyone (maybe, MAYBE on the shoulder) without asking or without them initiating. Flu panic or no flu panic, it’s just plain rude to do otherwise.

  42. Oh come on, it’s a question of having manners. I don’t care if it’s instinct or not. It’s fucking rude. Don’t touch my pregnant belly now, and definitely don’t touch my kid once it’s come out. How hard is that?

  43. People will not stop touching your baby if you continue to ask them not to anonymously. Try directly addressing them as you turn baby away.
    Maybe keep the baby under a blanket, a sheer one lets baby see out,people see in but is a perfect physical barrier. I believe first time mothers are a little paranoid, but its their right and babies health is their number one job right now.

  44. Actually when they are newborn is the most important time for children to be exposed to bacteria and viruses for their longterm immune system. Granted best that its not the flu, better that its just mostly harmless bacteria. 🙂

    So stop using antibacterial soap on that baby!

    I agree with 44 though. Its ok to gawk at strangers babies and play peek-a-boo. But touching crosses the line.

  48. Nothing gets people more self-righteous than kids. Their own or anybody’s.

    Try this on for size:

    The greenest thing you can do is not have kids. No one is so fabulous they need to reproduce, and if you don’t want to listen to me, listen to Mother Nature: Aids Ebola Swine Flu SARS – etc.

    The population is exterminating a PLANET.

    Enjoy

  49. Hey I anon! I’m on your side. As a non parent, I really never thought about the germs thing when it comes to touching babies, and I guess touching babies is a common relfex for many, so this issue needs to be brought up for us who don’t always think. Next time, hopefully you’ll be quicker to act, and tell the person not to touch your baby, because obviously your glare isn’t as foolproof as you’d hoped. As for the illustration this week… what’s with the baaad fashion?

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