Why, in these days of swine flu, do you have to touch my newborn
baby? Just because we’re at the grocery store or church at the same
time does not give you the right to paw my child. Her immune system
isn’t fully developed yet, and she would get sicker than you with your
germs. You’ll never go to the hospital with her; your life won’t be
ruined if she dies. So keep your hands off! Next time you take a step
toward my baby, ignoring my warning glare, don’t be surprised if I rip
you a new one. 
I, Anonymous
Nobody Puts Baby in the Coroner
Comments are closed.
As a childless adult who’s not eager to have kids, it appalls me to see how adults treat children they don’t even know. They touch them, invade their space, talk down to them. That behavior would never be tolerated if it were directed at another adult. Adults pull this shit because they know a child isn’t going to flip them off, no matter how richly they deserve it.
@18 Thanks for being the voice of reason. Be an adult. Say, please don’t touch the baby. Don’t act like they should know better (event though they should), don’t glare at them. Fix the problem politely.
On another note, when you bring your baby out in public and it causes a disruption–take it outside. When you are in a restaurant keep your kids at your table. Don’t change messy diaper out where I can see them. Some of these people are the “I’m tired, I have kids, I have a right too do whatever the heck I want…”
I don’t get the whole–make the world do it my way for my comfort attitude. I teach my kids to be polite and when they have meltdowns (because kids do) I remove them so we don’t interfere with other people’s enjoyment. What happened to civility?
Whoa! I completely understand! I know it is not possible to stay indoors 24/7 with your newborn, especially if you have to do something crazy…like eat food from the grocery store,buy diapers… stool softener. If you are a single parent, and fear the legal issues that would accompany leaving your baby in the car, I especially feel for you. It’s horrible. There is the “old lady mob” (the 6 women who appear out of nowhere as soon as your newborn starts crying to give you unwanted parenting advice), the lactation consultant who is constantly watching you nurse and rearranging your tit, and the person who CONSTANTLY feels the need to stick their finger in your kid’s mouth. It’s usually someone you know well ( a grandma or an old friend who knows EVERYTHING about babies). That shit drove me nuts. Plus,my baby went to a daycare where everyone was always kissing her.
Kids live through all of that annoying shit. Don’t worry too much. You’ll live through it too.
My new approach is anyone I don’t know that grabs for my cute baby’s face gets a squeeze from me on the check right back. Seems like fair game.
I can remember when I was a toddler how adults used to patronise me, and over handle me…. I hated it, but I was powerless to defend myself. I think it’s time for a revolution of the status of children. Countries like Sweden and Norway are already ahead in the kids rights department. Time the rest of the world caught on. Respect the young!
I agree with poster 18, if it’s such a huge deal to you and you have the time and gumption (yes I said gumption!) to come here and post it on an open forum, why not just open your mouth instead and state that you’d like them not to maul your child with their germ infested hands?
Thanks mom for looking out for me i know you love me but, mom you gotta chill! You are not hearing the cmments people are saying about you. They see you walking around wit me and they might get me mixed up wit you and think something wrong wit me. Look mom its ok if people wanna shower me with love hugs,kisses they like me and wanna touch me.Im a BABY Dammit!
bbbbboring…
also, there’s nothing wrong with telling strangers DIRECTLY that they can’t touch your kid. Why be anonymous? It certainly won’t make a difference, considering you seem to care so much.
PEOPLE OF SEATTLE:
Use your words if you want/don’t want something. This passive aggressive shit has got to stop.
PERSON OF THIS IANON:
Use your words. If you see someone going to touch your baby, don’t wait for them to touch your baby just so you can be full of self righteous anger. Open your fucking mouth and say something to make the person stop lunging at your baby. Jesus H christ. Stop blaming OTHER PEOPLE for your problems! Yes, I said it. If YOU don’t want people touching YOUR baby, tell them. Otherwise, blame yourself only.
@56
I do the same thing: they touch my kids face, I touch theirs. It really freaks people out…and then they get it. Germs are not wholly the problem, just have a little respect for personal space.
If you were my mom I’d probably try to contract swine flu intentionally…death would be preferable to 18 years of living with your whiny, bitching ass. Do the planet a favor and get a hysterectomy!
mothers are the most humorless, self-important and arrogant segment of society. in an era of rampant ecological exploitation and unsustainable population growth are we all expected to applaud your selfish decision to squirt out yet another resource-draining squealer? we have to accomodate your baby’s whining, moaning, soiled-diapers, bullshit histrionics, but god forbid anyone so much as approach you and your baby without yoru express written permission.
hopefully you’ll fall off that high horse and knock some sense into that arrogant gourd of yours.
@64. wow that’s so mean! but you’re so right. well put.
jesus christ, lighten up, lady. i’m a pediatrician & even i think you’re a nutjob.
being exposed to most germs is GOOD for children. it DEVELOPS their immune systems. it’s not like you’re dragging her across a hospital floor, moron.
Please. She’s never going to have an immune system in the first place if she isn’t exposed to pathogens when she is young. This is how the human body works, and this is why there are more sick kids now than ever before. It’s people like you who are actually doing their kids a disservice by trying to sequester them away from any and all germs. Remember when we were kids, and our parents would organize play dates with our friends who had the chicken pox so we could get it and be done? Now they’re vaccinating against it! It’s all gone way too far. The next generation of kids is being screwed out of their health by their consumer driven germophobic parents.
suck it up and give the kid a chance
justme, you had to make a boob comment! The breastfeeding/immune system thing? Don’t you believe it. Despite the magic of exclusive breastfeeding, my son still got RSV and spent a week in the ICU. Don’t like watching strangers pawing your baby? Try watching them intubate him.
Um, no asshole, you can’t lock yourself in the house for 6 months. Please continue to not have kids. You can keep the baby in her car seat carrier with a fleece blanket over the top. Filters airbourne bacteria and prevents grabby hands. And you don’t have to go all hormonal on poor ol’ granny at the grocery store.
I wouldn’t mind letting people touch my baby, and I’m not a germaphobe. But you had BETTER ask before putting your hands on my child. I don’t let strangers get away with pawing at me, nor would I let them do it to my child.
Personal space and boundaries, people! Maybe my child has a weakened immune system. You don’t know. Show some respect.
@10 – Full sentences, please. I can’t understand your comment.
Perplexed.
“Kitchy-kitchy-koo”…. CHOMP!
@64. AMEN
This whole debate is basically overprotective, passive-aggressive mothers versus baby-hating sociopaths. You both suck.
@64: Who’s more arrogant? The moms you describe or assholes like you who justify not having kids because of “dwindling resources”, as if we’re living in Thunderdome and shooting each other for a gallon of gas? There’s plenty of reasons not to have kids, most of them because you want more money, time, sex, etc., for yourself. That’s fine, but own up to it. Because no one’s giving you a fucking Nobel Prize for not having kids.
I agree with mint chocolate chip – they should give out Nobel prizes for not having kids.
How is this so fucking anonymous? Whopity fucking doo.
Hey all. This is I-anonymous and I wrote this because I was getting so tired of having to fend off the old ladies, childless people, and the dimwitted everywhere I went. I couldn’t believe how many people went from polite smile to grabbing my kid in a second flat. Maybe people don’t know the polite way to do things? Say, “Can I hold the baby?” But, obviously, we missed that one. I just wanted to get the word out, Mothers generally like it when you check in first, or visibly wash your hands.
I’m all for germs and developing immune systems. Does that mean I should just let everyone have at her? I don’t think so.
At the very least, I wanted to get the word out faster than one baby-grabber at a time. Judging from the lively debate, I’d say it worked.
Thanks for posting this, and for putting in the Swayze reference.
Rest in Peace”Johnny Castle.”
holy SHIT, Batman!! Is it just me, or is it getting harder and and harder to be a parent these days?
@76: I like your idea! Do I get a Nobel Prize for being childless (or just a stick of dynamite?)?
Make an evaluation of the condition of this planet, on your own, just do your own systematic research, and decide for yourself where the responsibility for that condition lies.
It doesn’t have anything to do with opinion, the facts are staring you down.
Please don’t listen to anyone, just do what you’re going to do regardless of the damage that is available to be seen. Every child born erases its own potential for a positive legacy.
But perhaps you could make some changes and have some intelligent conversations about what it means to be responsible out in the world and to have some vision and true concern for others. It shows the quality and level of concern that you have for everyone AND your own child.
Make an evaluation of the condition of this planet, on your own, just do your own systematic research, and decide for yourself where the responsibility for that condition lies.
It doesn’t have anything to do with opinion, the facts are staring you down.
Please don’t listen to anyone, just do what you’re going to do regardless of the damage that is available to be seen. Every child born erases its own potential for a positive legacy.
But perhaps you could make some changes and have some intelligent conversations about what it means to be responsible out in the world and to have some vision and true concern for others. It shows the quality and level of concern that you have for everyone AND your own child.
But perhaps you could make some changes and have some intelligent conversations about what it means to be responsible out in the world and to have some vision and true concern for others.
Oopies, but you do need to be told twice…
1. make a sign that says ‘do not touch’
2. stick it on your baby
3. enforce as necessary
4. stfu
Okay, Lady – I’ll gladly not touch your baby. But I have a few things I want you to do for me:
– Don’t scrape the backs of my heels with your monster-stroller when you are walking behind me.
– Please don’t block narrow, high-traffic spaces with your stroller while you are shopping, in restaurants or on public transit.
– Please, please do not bring your baby, if it is in any way fussy or has colic, on the red-eye to New York (or any long flight for that matter) and sit within three rows of me.
– Finally, if your baby is sick on this same flight, don’t hold it in such a way that when it coughs up snot all over the place or vomits, it lands on me. I don’t want your baby’s cold/flu/stomach ailment.
If you can do this for me and my fellow citizens, then you have a deal. I promise.
@80,81, & 82:
Um,….I believe I’m already making some changes for the better, and having some intelligent converstaions about what it means to be responsible out in the world and to have some vision and true concern for others.
And once again, I don’t HAVE any kids, remember?
Oopies, but you DO need to get a grip…
@84, robwolf:
RIGHT ON TARGET!!!! I could NOT have put it better myself!!! You ROCK!!!!
@85: Sorry, I meant to spell “conversations”.
@80, 81, &82:
Um,…actually I AM making changes for the better in my life, have intelligent conversations about what it means to be responsible out in the world, and have some vision and true concerns for others.
And did I mention that I don’t HAVE any kids?
Oopies, but you do need to get a grip…
@88: Sorry again… the computer was slow, I guess. Erase this one if you want.
this mother isn’t talking about her being a germaphobe. she also isn’t talking about a child.
she is talking about a brand new infant.
it is natural to be overly cautious with a newborn.
an older child should be exposed to germs but if it’s a new baby they have a far higher chance of contracting an illness that can be fatal.
if you’ve never had a baby then you can’t imagine the horror of losing one.
trying to protect your baby is a good thing.
but yes, she should use her words.
“if you’ve never had a baby then you can’t imagine the horror of losing one.”
— i thought inconsiderate breeders could just pop out another if the first goes bad…..
“breeder” this and “breeder” that. if you’re so worried about overconsumption and the environment, perhaps you guys can all just kill yourselves.
Typical passive aggressive fearful angry Seattelite. When will you people learn to pipe up and SAY something instead of all that eye glaring, knitted brow and down turned mouth thing you like to do? I would be SO impressed if I were touching your grubby kid and you actually AUDIBLY said to me, “Please don’t touch my baby.” Don’t mutter it, SAY it. WOW. Doing so would give me a little taste of my hometown, NYC. I need it. Please.
Why is everyone calling her passive aggressive and assuming she doesn’t tell these people to back off? She writes (at 78) “I couldn’t believe how many people went from polite smile to grabbing my kid in a second flat.” If people are grabbing without warning, she can tell them off after the fact (and probably does) but can’t prevent the touchy-feeliness short of pre-emptively growling “DON’T TOUCH MY BABY!” at everyone she so much as makes eye contact with. The i-anon letter is a less psycho way to go about preventing it, while the in-person face ripping is for dealing with offenders at the scene of the crime.
jesus christ, what’s with the baby eating assholes in seattle these days?
Hey, Moron. Shut up.
People touch babies. Cute babies. So you should take it as a compliment and thank the heavens your baby isn’t fugly. I think you owe people an apology for this you stupid twit.
@robwolf THANK YOU! The only thing you forgot was my personal pet peeve of parents who often gripe about their kids getting sick…DON’T change your kids’ dirty diaper in the middle of the restaurant or any public place where other people are eating, breathing, sitting, walking, shopping, etc. and then leave it for someone else to handle. DISGUSTING! As a person who works with the public, I often encounter these foul little biohazards that parents leave behind and the only thing I can do is carry it outside and throw it in the garbage can. Therefore, I am then spreading the germs from your kid’s SHIT on my way to the restroom to wash my hands, whether I had a barrier or not between said hand and shitty diaper. In short, I don’t let my dog shit in your kid’s play area, so don’t leave their shit where I eat.
Don’t let the baby catch the virus of religion…keep her the fuck out of the church.
I have a better thought, a glare….weather you think it is a warning or not……is to some simply your face. Try actually speaking out loud that you would not want for your baby to “pawed”. Try practicing this statement, look with your eyes not your hands, I’m sure it will be one you use on that baby of yours plenty in the future!
Hello People! wash your fricking hands already. Google it if you don’t believe how important it is, sheesh, so basic.
As for the baby haters, or “child free” folks, am sure you are so green and environmental your ecological footprint is the size of a gnat, yeah right…
@ ahn
I highly doubt there are so many mothers & fathers leaving their kids dirty diapers all over the place. That’s absurd. I also work with the public & have encountered many a nasty sight but never a dirty diaper. Most parents don’t change their kids in the middle of a restaurant either. It is gross but you are clearly exaggerating.
I think when people post things such as, “Kill your baby.” or say, “Breeder,” and post nasty comments after that—I think that is the same thing as homophobia. That is, discriminating against someone based on their personal life.