Okay: Female, married 15 years, one young child. No sex with husband over last five years. Have tried therapy, confrontation, lingerie, kink, porn. Seriously, everything. A year and a half ago, I got into a relationship with a married guy, a man who also wasn’t getting any at home. Our agreement is this: no strings, no ties that could hurt our families, have as much fun as we can.
My husband just got diagnosed with cancer. He is dying. Six months. Leaving him is not an option. On some level, I feel guilty about still seeing my lover, but it’s the only outlet I’ve got.
Am I a CPOS?
No Good Acronym
You were doing what you needed to do to stay sane and stay married before your husband’s diagnosis, NGA, and you should continue to do whatever it takes to stay sane and stay married—for your own sake, for your husband’s sake, for your kid’s sake. If seeing your lover helps, I think you should continue to see your lover.
In consideration of the good years you had together and with the knowledge that his undiagnosed illness could have been behind his lack of interest in sex, let go of whatever lingering resentments you have. Do everything you can to make your husband comfortable and make his death “good”—and that includes keeping your affair from him.
Realistically and logistically, NGA, I think you won’t be able to see as much of your lover over the next six months as you have over the last 18. And six months isn’t that long to go without. But if you need to see your lover a few times in order to stay sane and stay married and get through this awful time, then you should see your lover—for your own sake, for your husband’s sake, for your kid’s sake.
I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a little over a year. Since the get-go, he has refused to give me oral sex because he just plain doesn’t like the taste. He says he doesn’t even like looking at my vagina. He does, however, like me to give him oral sex. I’ve tried explaining the importance of oral for me, but he says the act just grosses him out. I’m resenting this situation more and more. So much so that now I really don’t feel like giving him oral sex. Any suggestions on how to improve this situation?
Needing Oral Tonight
Your situation will not improve, NOT, until you find yourself a boyfriend who isn’t a fag.
There may be a few straight boys out there who don’t like to eat pussy, sad to say, but a straight boy who doesn’t even like to look at pussy? Unless there’s something very seriously wrong with your pussy’s appearance—a web of scars from a waxing gone horribly, horribly wrong; the Fox News logo tattooed on your pubic mound; the glowering face a parasitic twin where your clit should be—your boyfriend is a fag, NOT. Do to your boyfriend what my one and only girlfriend should’ve done to me: DTMFA.
Just wanted to share a funny story with you. It’s also, we think, a great example of being GGG. My ladyfriend generally requires more foreplay than I do, but on rare occasions we focus on me exclusively. Two nights ago, after three years together, we figured we’d give a high-school classic a try: I was going to get a handjob. I must’ve been temporarily transported back to my Little League days, because as she was contentedly pumping away, I asked if she could adjust her grip, saying, “Baby, could you choke up a little bit?”
“What,” she said, the sweetest, most GGG look on her face, “you mean, like, cry?”
I really think she would’ve done it, too, if I hadn’t laughed so hard I nearly fell off the bed.
Choked Up In Toronto
Thanks for sharing, CUIT, and now…
WHEREAS you’re writing from Canada, and WHEREAS my Canadian readers patiently endure my rants about conservative American politicians (like last week’s rant about New Hampshire state representative Nancy “Wiggle” Elliott), and WHEREAS my American readers might assume that Canada—where gay marriage is legal, everyone has health care, the boys are hot, and the girls are hotter—doesn’t have any batshit-conservative politicians of its own, BE IT RESOLVED that I will write about Canada’s batshit-conservative politicians every once in a while.
No time like the present: I could write about your batshit-conservative prime minister, Stephen Harper, who’s always proroguing the shit out of your parliament. (I don’t know what proroguing is exactly, but like the shit in French on breakfast-cereal boxes, it sounds filthy.) But a better example of conservative batshittery would be Vic Toews. Canada’s unofficial “Minister of Family Values,” member of parliament Toews—surprise!—doesn’t like the gays because we’re a threat to the family and the institution of marriage. Toews has described gay marriage ceremonies as satanic “Black Masses,” and insisted that adding gays and lesbians to existing Canadian civil rights statutes would bring the “jackboot of fascism [down] on the necks of our people.”
You know where this is going, right?
It turned out that Toews—who once warned that gay marriage could lead to polygamy—was cheating on his wife of 25 years. After getting a much younger woman pregnant, Toews wound up getting divorced. Another marriage destroyed not by gays stomping around in fabulous jackboots, but by yet another straight “Christian” bigot slamming his dick into someone who isn’t his wife.
Toews’s affair became public two years ago, but the scandal didn’t destroy him—he became minister of public safety this January—because the Canadian press sniffed that Toews’s affair and divorce were private. Excuse me, Canadian-
press pansies, but a politician who scares up votes attacking the private lives of others, a politician who insists that other people are out to destroy his marriage, can’t be allowed to hide behind “my private business!” when it turns out that the only threat to the politician’s marriage was the politician’s own greasy cock.
One day, straight folks everywhere are going to realize that anti-gay ravers come in two flavors: assholes who are externalizing their own internal struggles against homosexual desires (Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, Joseph Ratzinger, et al.) and assholes who are attempting to compensate for and/or draw attention away from their own moral shortcomings (David Vitter, Mark Sanford, Vic Toews, et al.).
Finally: Toews is pronounced “taves,” and it seems to me that it should be a word for something nasty. Get on it, Canada.
CONFIDENTIAL TO EVERYONE: If the mother of the 13-year-old boy with the latex-glove fetish had written to me and not Prudie—and she didn’t write to me—I would’ve told her that fetishes aren’t mental illnesses, suggested that her son might be feeling “horribly embarrassed and guilty” about his fetish because HIS MOTHER IS HOUNDING HIM ABOUT IT, and told her that any wife or girlfriend who wouldn’t indulge her son’s kink—once he’s an adult—wouldn’t be worthy of his time or affections. 
“Yeah, it’s just crazy to think that a straight guy would like pussy. Crazy…secret fag!”
Not crazy, just a wonderful way to dodge the issue. Define “like.” Does that mean like putting my dick in it? Putting my face in it? Putting it in my mouth? Eating it for dinner with a side of potatoes? Taking it out to a club?
Plenty of chicks and gay dudes love giving blow jobs but hate swallowing and dislike the sensation of cum on their faces.
But, but…I thought you liked cock! I thought you liked men! You should love my asparagus-flavored spunk in your mouth and eye! You must be a lesbo or a straight guy after all. You must not really love me.
If you can dislike my spunk, I can dislike your stinky cooter juice or your unshaven asshole.
Secret dipshit!
Oh, and just a post script on whoever it was who said we won’t go crazy without sex… they are wrong, WRONG, WROOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG. When you don’t get any, it ends up being just about the only thing you think about all day long and way into the night. For those of us not getting any who have high sex drives, it very well can drive you insane.
@39 & 40. The Canadian politician you mentioned is Don Boudria not Don Boudia. You forgot to put the “r” in his surname.
“Define ‘like’.”
THat’s like those guys who say “I like female ‘energy’, and the concept of having sex wtih women, just not having sex with women” or “we should wait until marriage, because jesus would want it that way”. Ya know, secret fag talk. It gets all technical and complicated…as do the justifications for refusing to have sex.
We’re not talking about one aspect of the act cunnerlangus (so gross…I can’t believe I’m arguing with a secret fag about heterosexual sex that makes me gag–ya know, like all of it… bastard), but all aspects of vajean, vajayjay and pussah-pussay. A self identified heterosexual who is disgusted by all aspects of pussy (the idea, and all and every one, and every aspect) is not a heterosexual man. Just like a gay guy that enjoys having sex with women ain’t no queer. Could be asexual, actually.
But all this just confirms for me what I already know about you…that you’re a SECRET FAG!
Um. There are medical conditions that create unpleasant vaginal odor/taste, and they’re not always curable. Some foods create a really bad taste. There are lesbians who don’t like cunnilingus, giving or receiving–I’m married to one (in Canada). There are straight men who don’t like cunnilingus. There are straight women who don’t like oral-to-ejaculation, and that’s true for some gay men. If somebody just cannot do it, forcing the issue is only going to create resentment, and sooner or later that will hurt your sex life.
A partner who demands oral sex but won’t give it is an inconsiderate jerk. BUT. If a partner just can’t deal with oral sex but doesn’t expect what s/he won’t give and is bend-over-backwards considerate in bed in every other respect… consider the whole person and decide what you need most.
Who’s the better partner–a considerate lover who just has a block against oral sex, or a pussy-eating jerk? I’ve lived with both, and somebody who’s 97% perfect and 3% disappointing is better than 5% hot and 95% inconsiderate idiot.
If oral sex is a deal-breaker, break it and find someone whose needs match your own.
There’s no one across-the-board answer, and no 100% perfect happy-ever-after mate. Long-term love is about compromise, but you’ve got to decide case-by-case what is important and what can be compromised.
Surprise: Anti-gay rights (married) republican senator arrested for DUI after leaving a gay bar with his boy toy:
http://cbs13.com/local/ashburn.arrest.du…
@155…fuckin love it!!!! Sorry offended guys! 😉 Maybe it’s time you look at WHY YOU’RE OFFENDED. You are callin it and I’m hearing you!! thank you for saying what we’re all thinking!
@157 – so i heard… another one bites the dust… or the sausage… or takes it like a man… or… well, hell. you know what i mean… couldn’t have happened to a nicer hyprocrite…
OK, in response to the latex glove/Prudie issue, neither the mother nor Prudie were saying the fetish was bad. (Mom: “…should I just chalk it up to a personality quirk and worry no longer?” doesn’t sound like a mom who’s too freaked out). They were both concerned that, at 13, the glove fetish was taking control. My concern would be that the kid has OCD or hoarding issues which should be addressed early on. “[The doctor] says patients are greatly relieved when they come to feel they control the fetish instead of having it control them—which may be what your son is experiencing now.” 13-year-old kids have a lot of shit to handle already, without also having an overwhelming obsession to deal with.
@152,
Am I the only one here who realizes that you don’t have to taste vaginal juices while you’re giving oral to a woman? *confused*
Just tell the lady it’s too sour or makes u gag or whatever, and flick your tongue over her clitoris, you don’t have to either lick her vaginal opening or avoid cunnilingus altogether, just like women don’t have to either swallow cum or avoid fellatio altogether! If scent is a problem do it after she’s showered. If hairs annoy you, have her shave them or trim them, or do it yourself, it can be a fun and intimate experience. If you don’t like the way it looks, close your fucking eyes or do it in the dark. You can work your way around these issues.
If you don’t like the way it feels, well then you’re just gay.
I loved the half of your column that wasn’t a rant about a Canadian politician. I haven’t a problem with what you said as I totally agree but when I read a sex advice column I expect … well, sex advice. You personal rants would seem more appropriate elsewhere.
I dated a guy who only liked receiving oral, and complained about just not being into giving oral because of the taste/appearance. He wasn’t gay, he was a selfish asshole who made excuses for everything.
NGA — You should have divorced your husband so he could have had a chance to find someone who really loves him to be with him while he was dying. I don’t get Dan’s view that having an affair is a way of “saving” your marriage. There obviously wasn’t enough there worth saving and it’s cowardly to justify a secret affair by convincing oneself that it will help rather than hurt. I hope to hell my spouse will ask me for a divorce before having an affair in the deluded idea that somehow this is saving our marriage.
Dan I usually admire your advice but I think you’re fooling yourself about this one.
re: enjoying oral love. . . Pleasuring someone orally, or with fingers or toys, is something you do if your partner gets excited about it. The pleasuring is done not because the person doing it gets off – the pleasure for the giver comes in hearing the moans, sighs, and other feedback from the recipient. Cunnilingus in particular is filled with unusual smells, tastes, and visuals, so it takes some getting used to. (yes, yes, from personal experience, ok?) I had a lover who wasn’t into it when we were together, but wrote to me a year later to say that he *regretted* he was an early bloomer to it. I would try initiating it in the shower, where fresh water flowing will dilute the smell/taste factor. Right after a shower might work, too. And GIVE FEEDBACK, ladies! If you want less saliva dripping down your crack, SAY SO! “Love, a little less saliva, please.” Talking about these issues while NOT in bed is very important. Sex is NOT a dirty word, or topic, and if you “can’t” talk about it, you have no basis in reality to argue that you’d be able to handle the potential consequences.
NO WAY.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
JONATHAN TOEWS IS A GREAT CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS FORWARD WHO WAS PROBABLY THE BEST PLAYER ON TEAM CANADA THROUGH THE OLYMPICS.
SOILING THE NAME OF A BIGOT POLITICIAN NO ONE WILL KNOW OF IN 3 YEARS WOULD MEAN SOILING THE NAME OF A HOT 22 YEARS OLD ATHLETE WITH HIS WHOLE CAREER AHEAD OF HIM.
“What’s the big deal about oral sex anyway?” is comment 69?! Oh, sweet irony!
That Prudie letter really pissed me off. The mom is being a mom, and I guess I understand why she’s freaking – her vanilla outlook doesn’t see room for kink in her son’s future relationships. But Prudie should have calmed mom the fuck down. For Christ’s sake, the kid doesn’t have a dengerous fetish like sex with animals or hurting people, he likes latex. Big. Fucking. Deal. And he’s lucky to have learned his kink so young. Hopefully it’ll save him years of dissatisfying sexual relationships.
So here’s Dan again with the “anti pussy must be gay” bullsh!t again.
I’ve had enough pussy to know that there is a MASSIVE difference between rotten, hairy, make-you-wanna-puke pussy thats also UGLY, and at the other end of the scale delicate, well manicured, practically odorless beautiful loveclam that I would lick for hours.
So girls, if there are lots of guys repulsed by your parts, Im afraid its probably you. Gladly there are some things you can do to improve the experience… except the look of it to a certain extent.
DAN if you read this: Being a straight guy who is against eating pussy is very much the same as a gay guy who is against licking asshole. Doesnt mean the straight guy is gay or the gay guy is straight. I love your podcast and column but sometimes you are just way too biased by the gayness.
I wanna know one thing: I bet any money there are a reasonable number of lesbians who will back me up and say that there are some pussies they wouldnt wanna give oral. Am I right?
@ MavenX, Im sorry but you are not helping the sisterhood by your blind ranting about this topic. All you’re doing is affirming the likelihood that you have an unpleasant minge. I hope you find/have a guy who’s enthusiastic about whatever you’re packing down there. Try a french dude, they eat frogs and snails and such right?
@170 As I’ve already specified…I’m “all set” in that dept, thank you! 🙂 I’m quite a bit pickier about lovers these days. Rest assured that my lady parts are sparklin and perty, not resembling anything remotely close to a snail and a frog, thanks. I’ve noticed from your other post you’re particularly defensive on this issue. You might want to refer to post # 137…take care sweetie.
“Being a straight guy who is against eating pussy is very much the same as a gay guy who is against licking asshole. Doesnt mean the straight guy is gay or the gay guy is straight”
No, actually it’s nothing like that, you super secret GAY. YOu’re a double agent, codename: queermo.
Um, naaaaa. Vaginas aren’t like assholes. Yes, they’re both holes, but a vagina is more accurately compared to a penis, or a reproductive sex organ.
And you super secret gays are missing the point entirely. THis isn’t about rotten hygiene, or any kind of hygiene. THis about a dude who hates pussy, period. The mere thought of it makes him puke (me too! But unlike you closet cases, I’m not a gloryhole troll). That’s called being gay in well informed circles.
Haven’t any of you secret fags a shred of decency?
Tank, you’re so good, I’m almost beginning to wonder if you ARE Dan Savage! Bravo, LMFAO!
Dan! I am sooo glad you said something about that Dear Prudence article!! I read Pruddy’s answer & immediatly thought that had you answered it, that poor kid would have a MUCH happier future to look forward to, latex gloves and all! Too bad we can’t tell that paranoid mother.
You are applying American values to Canadian politics and it doesn’t work. Sexual hysteria is an American trait, not a Canadian one.
You’re the jackboot KING, Dan!
Spot on as always!
Far be it from me to pass judgement on anyone and their sexual preferences, but as a guy I absolutely love to eat pussy. Assuming well cleaned and cared for genitals, I can’t understand how the female bits can be a major turn-off for men. I also can’t fathom how a woman could dislike her lover going down on her.
For my wife and me, it’s all part of the wonderful foreplay experience. And it helps me achieve more pleasure (ie. gets me hornier) being able to pleasure my wife in that way.
To each his own, but I don’t get it. Just glad my wife and I are compatible in this way.
@172 Im glad you and MavenX are hitting it off: One one hand we have a militaristic self envisaged superhero acting on behalf of all women wordwide, and then Tank The UltraGay, the worlds most unqualified source of information on female sex organs.
An unlikely pair, but what the hell.
Anyway, since you are too dimwitted to figure it out – I wasnt saying ass is exactly same as puss. I was saying that just like there is a spectrum of human responses and preferences to eating vag, there must surely be a range of inclinations among gays to licking ass. Just tryin to break it down for the ignorant gay contributors into a language they can ram in their ass, reverse digest and perhaps assimilate into their brains.
I find it amusing that now gays are mostly accepted in western society, it is the gays themselves who are heckling straights – and using gay labels as a derogatory slander! If only americans understood the concept of irony you would really have a good laugh about that. Really shows a level of self-hate and inferiority amongst some of you poor queers.
@ 177
“I also can’t fathom how a woman could dislike her lover going down on her.”
I think it’s a combination of bad body image and never having experienced it with a guy who can do it right.
Apology accepted, dtek. Now, the next time your folks roll their eyes in frustration when you talk about how much “puss” you’re getting, you’ll know why: the only person you’re fooling is yourself.
And no, gays aren’t “mostly accepted in western society,” it’s just no longer legal for the stupid vulgar to murder them, i.e., it’s better to be gay in the u.s. than iran. It’s not great, though…because the stupid vulgar here are plentiful and still deny us our rights.
Dtek, glad we succeeded in irritating your pompous ass! I actually love the way you described me. I’m feeling rather important now that I’ve been regarded as a super-hero for half the world’s population. It’s reassuring your views are in the minority here. The only irony is that you don’t seem to understand Tank isn’t mocking his own sexuality but rather calling out the men who stay closeted for not only harming themselves, but the hapless females that get dragged along for the ride. These narcissists spew excuses for their sexual incapability and blame it on the female plumbing or hygiene. Do yourselves and the females in your life a courtesy and come out already.
God bless you people ‘cauze really, you are VERY complicated!
It’s not a badthing! You complex. May She bless You!
Simple i’ goo’. Complex i’ goo’.
“Now, the next time your folks roll their eyes in frustration when you talk about how much “puss” you’re getting”
Umm I am now seeing clearly how maladjusted you really are. I deduce from your strange assumption that you must go bragging about how many salds you’ve tossed to your parents? They must be Proud with a capital P. Or is it that you’re scared to tell em you’re gay? Worried daddy might get “stupid and vulgar” on your ass? Who’s hiding in closets now bigman?
Maven, I wrote a little reply but then realised you are just a troll. Both online, and I’d speculate probably troll-like in real life also. Have a nice life with your delusions and over-inflated expectations. You’re beyond help.
“Don’t Toews me, Bro!”
dtek..Oh ouch! I’m a troll now!?!?! I bet you were the kind of boy who would call a girl fat when she didn’t respond to your awkward nuances. That’s the best ya got? I wonder if even you have figured out what your “agenda” is in here…Because unless you are a bitter, secret fag that is disturbed by this whole exposition, I really can’t imagine what you’re going on about and getting your panties bunched up over…That’s just it really. You don’t see too many pussy hungry, hetero boys in here fighting Dan Savage’s theory. I’m glad because it seems like Dan managed to reach the few out there that needed to hear this the most.
My boyfriend loves to give me oral. I get super fine orgasms from them. I guess I’m just lucky or he’s has skills. We’ve been together for five years and he still begs to go down on me. Sometimes I have to refuse if I haven’t showered yet, haha.
I’m always conscious of how mine looks or how it might smell. My bf says he loves it and it does not smell. I know a few guy friends who wont go down on girls because of how it tastes/smells. Some of my girl friends don’t ever get to “come” or enjoy it. With that in mind, It seems rare to find a guy that actually does it right and enjoys it.
179, it is possible for a woman to be physically wired in such a way as to derive little or no pleasure from oral sex. By insisting that anyone who doesn’t get off on it has just not met that mythical ‘right guy’, you’re ignoring our testimony and making yourself appear tunnel-visioned on the issue. I am not going to put a number to my partners here, but rest assured I’m not a young girl with a couple of youthful fumblings under my belt.
My clitoris is positioned beneath my skin, and is so small as to be vestigal. Any orgasm I have is from stimulation of the G spot. There are women like me, as well as women who simply don’t enjoy the sensation, and even women who lack an external clitoris entirely, due to botched surgery as infants. I’d accept your pity, but not your denial of our existence!
And I have my counterparts; men who are happy to look at pussy, finger pussy, fuck pussy, but are still often relieved not to have to lick it. And no, it’s not an issue of hygiene or grooming – I have recieved compliments!
I know you’re trying to stand up for every woman’s right to expect oral from her partner, and I applaud that motivation. But you have to allow for exceptions. We’ll take the men who complain about sore necks and tongues, and leave the happy lickers to you and your fortunate sisters, how about that?
I am sorry I sounded dismissive of women like you, 188! Of course whenever you make a generalization you have to allow for exceptions or you’re narrow minded, and I am aware that there is no thing that is pleasurable to absolutely every person in the world. Rest assured I didn’t think women unable to derive pleasure from external stimulation didn’t exist, I just neglected to add the “there are exceptions to this generalization” disclaimer. For a long time women were expected to orgasm without external stimulation, although that was impossible for a majority of women, so a backlash against that harmful belief resulted in overlooking women for whom external stimulation does little or nothing.
But I can’t resist adding, sore neck and tongue is a bad excuse for avoiding cunnilingus 😉 The giver should assume a comfortable position (sitting on the floor?) and take breaks during which fingers/vibrators can be used.
@188 Those were all great points! I totally understand and agree with everything you said. Growing up between two boisterous bad-ass brothers has turned me into somewhat of a feminist zealot! 🙂 I will say one of my major buttons is inequality, and renders me with tunnel vision on issues. No punn intended! lol! Thanks!
@189 Same thing, and yes AGREED sore neck and tongue are no excuse baby! Get into a different position and take some advil, let’s get crackin! 😉
LOL’d on public transit…just broke up with ‘fag’ who wouldn’t go down on me. That wasn’t ‘thee’ reason but going on 3 mos and he never gave it a whirl? We’d had the safe sex talk, etc. When I asked him why his response was “didn’t know it was ‘on the menu'” – wtf is that?!
i have a theory about the phobic cons. I’ve studied them in their natural habitats. So to speak.
Take the given, ourselves. We have had to face our fears, our fears of coming out, out to families and friends, to ourselves. We’ve faced the fears of kink, or ab-normalcy. We’ve suffered, in many cases, humiliation because of who we are.
The conservatives, through no fault of their own, have not had these hurdles. They haven’t had their own fears to deal with. And when we present them a reality that is different, strange, we frighten them in a way that they can’t cope with. Raising hate mongering only leads to polarity.
Yeah, I know I’m being a bit naive.
#80 – yes, sorry, but you are. Luckily, there are plenty of others out there with your malfunction, so maybe you can meet someone who is equally grossed out by your body parts as you are by hers, and you can have a nice, sanitary, eyes -closed sex life together.
@191 You go girl!!! He sounds like he was a mutant ninj! What does he think he’s ordering, ‘a la carte?’ You go get yourself the full meal deal baby!
BWAHAHAHAA! Oh Tank…I’m going to work the phrase “vajean, vajayjay and pussah-pussay” into my conversation this very day.
And to Secret Agent Queermo, his whole point was that if even spying a stray pussy out of the corner of his eye makes the guy run in fear, there’s some shenanigans goin’ on.
So wait, does this mean it’s fair game to describe women who refuse to give blowjobs as man-hating, closeted lesbians? Because if you’re OK with calling non-cunnilinguists “secret fags”, you can’t really object to that one — at least not without being a complete and utter hypocrite.
Or, y’know, we could treat each other with respect and understanding, and stop beating our chests and flinging bullshit, stupid accusations at people we know nothing about. Just a crazy thought.
@164: Yup in an ideal world NGA should have divorced him and let him find someone new. What do you recommend now that he’s dying, bedridden (probably) and completely dependent? Seems to me an affair to keep her sane is relatively minor if she’s taking care of him and letting him have the dignity he needs.
BTW, I’m one of the women who has a little bit of a problem with oral. Not because I don’t like it, but it’s almost too intense as a normal thing. I can get so into it I pass out or get REALLY loud. Most guys get freaked by that. Ok as an occasional thing but not every time.
Having said that, any guy who won’t go down isn’t worth my time.
#196 YES. Well if I had a friend who didn’t give blow-jobs because she thought the penis looked gross and hated to get that close to it, or touch it, I guess I would question her sexuality in the same way..and I have before. I have one friend who told me this and I asked if she thought she might be gay… I don’t know, it makes sense both ways…BTW, a lot of women lie when they say they don’t like to see men naked. I subscibed to playgirl in my 20’s and all my friends couldn’t believe it and thought it was soooo weird…UNTIL THEY CAME OVER and wanted to see the mags immediately every time.
I am so happy to see the confidential Prudie comment. As soon as I read that last week, I thought that woman should have written in to Savage Love instead and I vowed to never read Prudie again. This will be my only advice column from now on. Love the freaks and the kinks, and especially the common sense!
Thank you for noticing that Canada is under tyranny from a toxic recombination of extreme right-wing elements of the defunct Progressive Conservative Party combined together with ordinary members of the former Reform Party – an assemblage of the same sort of wank-heads to think that German National Socialism would solve all problems for Germany.
They assembled under the shadow of Dubya Bush, and are now keeping heads down in order to hope not being noticed while they desecrate Canada into the hands of evil global radical capitalists who’ve brainwashed their hickabilly constituents into thinking that it is the interests of the farmer and mom-and-pop small business owners who voted for them that those spawns of Lucifer are talking about when they say, “business will be good after we take over”, without mentioning whose business they’re talking about.
It’s not yet clear if the Canadian Conservative party is evil or stupid… ever noticed how, in terms of results, it’s very difficult to tell the difference between evil and stupid?
In any case… Toews is when you wake up horny in the morning, and do anal sex with your significant other, but their bowels are not evacuated, and further, it’s not solidified.
You have sex, but the results are not a typical saffron-on-the-dick… it’s little spits of black goo on your belly, and on the sheets, and on the inside of the cheeks of the ass of the other.
That anal liquid tar that you shower off, and which you change the sheets for, and which the other is embarrassed about, is called Toews.
@ 71, 117, 123, 190, 194, 198… Same person
I have contacted you through Alt , recognized the picture and the issues you brought up, and am still awaiting your reply. I go by two words combined as one, best described for short as LB.
As for pornography, ironically 80’s pornography contained much more cunnilingus than it does today, even though supposedly we are now more enlightened and more sensitive to equality issues. And back then both man and women didn’t have to adhere to the “hairless look” of today, meaning it could have come across as less “appealing” than today’s featherless chicken look.
While I think that labeling men who wouldn’t eat their women as “gay” can be a somewhat-superficial-definition, you came around and acknowledged that yourself later on.
Oh, and I think you’re quite cool for having a Playgirl subscription earlier in your life, not to mention being open about it with your friends.
Would love to communicate with you even if it doesn’t lead to peeling off some layers and exchanging body fluids.