I’m a woman in my 20s, and I’ve been dating the love of my life for two years now. We are incredibly happy except for—guess!—we have different sex drives. When we first started dating, I initiated sex all the time and enjoyed it, but as soon as I started on birth control, my libido evaporated. After a nightmarish year of trying different methods, arguing with doctors, and hurt feelings, I decided that it wasn’t worth it, and we’ve stopped using any hormonal birth control (we’re using condoms).

But months later, I still have almost no interest in sex or masturbation. We have sex once or twice a week, but it’s physically boring. I put on my game face and endure it. I enjoy pleasing him, but it does nothing for me. It hurts him that I am not interested in sex and that he can’t arouse or please me. I want us to have a healthy sex life, because I love him and he’s worth it. Could this still be the birth control? Did I somehow flip the OFF switch?

Please help, Dan. My doctors are all sex-negative and don’t see the problem, and I want to enjoy sex again.

Not Horny, Not Happy

Your problem doesn’t sound like a case of differing sex drives, NHNH, but like a healthy sex drive that’s been derailed.

“Birth control pills can decrease sexual desire if they substantially lower testosterone levels,” says Cindy M. Meston, PhD, professor of clinical psychology at University of Texas at Austin and author of Why Women Have Sex. “The pill supplies a steady dose of hormones, so that the body stops producing its own unsteady, cyclical dose.” The pill keeps your estrogen level high in order to prevent ovulation, while also “increasing the sex-hormone-binding globulin (SHBG), which binds to testosterone, thus blocking it from being ‘read’ by the body.”

Testosterone plays a huge role in female libido, and blocking testosterone doesn’t do your libido any favors. And while most women who experience a severe drop in libido on the pill bounce back a few months after they stop taking it, some women aren’t so lucky.

“One well-regarded researcher, Irwin Goldstein, found that after stopping the pill, SHBG remained high in some women and testosterone levels didn’t go back up,” says Meston. “It’s not common, but it could explain this woman’s situation. The best thing for her would be to go to a gynecologist, urologist, or endocrinologist who specializes in sexual medicine (make sure they actually know what the hell they’re measuring) and have all her reproductive hormones measured. If she’s low in testosterone, she can take testosterone supplements.”

That means you’ll have to fire your current sex-negative doctors, NHNH, and find yourself some new, sex-positive ones—and you’ll have to stick with them.

“She needs a good doctor to monitor her closely, as too much testosterone causes bad side effects in women—side effects like facial hair growth.”

I also shared your e-mail with Debby Herbenick, PhD, sexual-health educator at the Kinsey Institute and author of Because It Feels Good, and she feels there’s a chance your problem isn’t hormonal.

“In working with people, what I more often have found—and wrote about in my book—is something I call a ‘cycle of dread.’ I know that sounds ‘magazine-y,’ but it’s the best way I can think of to describe it, and this woman seems to epitomize it.”

A cycle of dread—let’s call it COD—can kick in when someone keeps having sex she doesn’t want to have, or isn’t enjoying, because she feels she must.

“Sometimes, it works out all right—once they start going, it feels better. But quite often, they don’t want it, they do it anyway, it sucks (‘physically boring,’ ‘I put on my game face’), and they do it anyway and keep doing it.”

Herbenick believes a temporary “ban on intercourse”—or taking “vaginal off the menu,” as I’ve recommended in similar circumstances—”can help couples learn to touch each other again with pleasure.”

I think you should take the advice of both of our guest experts: Initiate a ban on intercourse for now, NHNH, because you’re not doing you, your libido, or your boyfriend any favors when you put on that game face and go through the motions, and go get your hormone levels checked.

What does a person do when an LTR starts to feel stagnant or boring or dull?

Partnered But Jonesing

A person experiments (with partner), cheats (on partner), or breaks up (with partner).

I have a dilemma. Even though I was born in 1972, people always assume that I’m in my mid-20s. I tend to attract girls in their early 20s, and when they ask how old I am, I counter with “How old do you think I am?” They invariably guess an age that I haven’t seen in more than a decade. When I tell these 21- to 23-year-olds the truth, it’s a complete turnoff. Just last night I had to endure—that’s endure, not Ensure—my third brush-off at the hands of a hot 21-year-old girl in a row!

So what’s an apparent senior citizen like myself to do? Do I just wait hopelessly for the dreaded question to come up? Do I blurt out “I’m old” as soon as a woman walks up to me? Do I take measures to try to look my age?

You’re probably wondering why I don’t just go for women closer to my own age. Here’s why: Women my own age tell me that they’re looking for serious relationships and I look way too young for that and they worry that my looks mean I’m a total player!

You’re Only Using Numbers, Girls

First, YOUNG, maybe your problem is the lousy puns. Endure/Ensure? That would earn you a brush-off from me.

But if older women aren’t interested because you look too young, and younger women aren’t interested because you are too old—if you’re actually being discriminated against based on your age/looks—then you have a license to lie to women, young and old.

Let younger women think you’re in your 20s until they get to know you better. Then disclose and apologize for the deceit without being too abject about it. You had cause. As for women closer to your own age, well, instead of telling them you’re very nearly 40, YOUNG, let ’em think you’re a twentysomething with a thing for older women. Then if a puma—or panther or cougar or otter or whatever—decides to dump you because she’s getting too attached and the (presumed) age difference is simply too great, bust out your birth certificate, apologize, and propose.

HEY! The Stranger and Trouble Dicso are having a Pre-Pride Boat Party with DJ Kim Ann Foxman of the band Hercules and Love Affair. The party is Thursday, June 24, on The Islander, a large and lovely party boat, and sets sail at 10:00 p.m. for a three-hour booze-y, dance-y, Pride-y
cruise. The Trouble Dicso guys will also be DJing and local dance troupe Dream Weavers will perform. See you on the boat. Tickets are $15 at thestranger.com/boatparty.

mail@savagelove.net

167 replies on “Savage Love”

  1. @43 I wouldn’t forgo Zestra as a option, but it’s a short term fix. Products like Zestra work based on the premise that mild irritation produces swelling that women “confuse” with sexual arousal. This is the way most lip-plumping lipglosses work, too, with an irritant like cinnamon oil, etc. I still think working on raising her overall vitality is a good idea. That way (hopefully) her arousal will occur spontaneously and not 10 minutes after application with a 35-minute window of opportunity. Hell, I’d just be getting warmed up for a nice long power fuck by the time Zestra was wearing off.

    Also – and this is important – Zestra is NOT safe for use with latex condoms, so she would definitely have to change birth control methods, or use polyurethane condoms.

  3. There are women in their early twenties who dig “older” (in their 30s and 40s)men, romantically and sexually. I’m one of those 23-year-olds.

    Man, if I were single and a hot almost-40-year-old hit on me, WOO! There is something so hot about a man in that age range…more experience perhaps? Older but not too old?

    Sooner or later YOUNG will meet an early twenty-something who is turned on by his age…if that’s what he’s looking for.

  4. hey NHNH it has only been a month; i have been through the whole range of hormonal birth control methods and their affects on my libido and personality and after each change, it has taken me about three months off hormones to feel like myself again. i agree with everything Dan said – especially about giving yourself time to get horny again.

  6. @35
    What does ‘normalizing body functions’ mean? How does one ‘balance’ a libido (or a mood, for that matter)? What is the active compound in ashwagandha? What is your source? Not anecdotal, please.

    @31
    Acupuncture shows no difference from needle-insertion at non-qi-whatever points or from blunt needles that do not penetrate the skin. It has never been shown in a well-controlled trial to have a clinical benefit for anything, and since you just saw fit to provide anecdotal evidence for it helping treat your ‘lady problems”, perhaps you have a reference. Has it ever even been tested as a treatment for decreased libido?

  10. @everyone talking about acupuncture & herbs
    1. respect each other
    2. acupuncture has some evidence for use, mostly in tension headaches if i remember correctly
    3. sorry herbs, but no good evidence based medicine supporting their use in this issue, or any other that I can think of, maybe post-menopausal symptoms, but unsure of that, maybe there has been shown to be some placebo effect with them, which is fine, as long as it doesn’t do you any harm or interact with any other medications you are on and tell your medical doctor you are taking it

    One of the (many) differences between medical doctors and naturopaths/chiropractors/homeopath etc. is the use of evidence-based medicine in the treatment approach.

  12. I’m with Dan’s advice for NHNH but would like to make an addendum. I think some commenters above mentioned diet; there are certain foods that do increase testosterone and thus libido… in fact, http://www.libido-increasing-food.com. Basically, eat good fats (olive oil, avacado, etc), get zinc in your diet, get vitamin B in your diet, make sure you get enough Omega 3s (salmon, eggs, I think spinach has some…). Don’t eat too many carbs, sugars, etc. Good luck.

  13. @40 said: “Here’s what I think is happening with YOUNG. He hits on some 20-year-old girl in a bar. She notices he’s older and asks his age, as a brush off. He considers this foreplay and asks her to guess. She guesses an age that she considers ‘old’ – like 27. He tells her he’s actually 37, and she reaches for her mace.”

    Allison M, that really made me laugh. I suspect you hit the nail on the head!!!

    I have a co-worker who is 39 but everyone assumes is mid-twenties. He has a boyish face, is in good shape, and his clothes don’t really broadcast an age (button-down shirts, unremarkable slacks or cordoroys).

    But he’s such a shy, low-key, sweet guy that women of ALL ages like him. Seriously, half of our female customers have crushes on him, from college girls to grandmas. His main worry with the ladies is turning them down without hurting their feelings. Also, he blushes bright red when women get all giggly around him.

    I suspect that YOUNG has a very different personality than my coworker!

  14. I’m a guy in his late 30s who has no problem attracting women in their 20s, 30s, or 40s (or in some cases their late teens – and no we did not date). I’m currently dating a woman in her late 20s and things are going very very well. Some women have been turned off by the age difference, some have not. I say: don’t lie, it’s not going to get you anywhere. Also, be yourself and dress how you like. What has worked for me is that I am passionate about who I am, young at heart, and also (most importantly?) genuinely interested in getting to know these women. Even some of the women who have been turned off by the age difference have confessed they have regretted that decision after they have really gotten to know me (yes, that does mean we are still friends – when I say genuinely interested in getting to know them I mean it).

    If women of every age are turning you down, I would look more closely at your personality. Because the age line all the time thing sounds like a sign of something else.

  15. Hey herbs people, it’s all good, when you post some data. Herbs and accupuncture are of course subject to big self-selection and placebo effects, and it’s really nonsense to tell someone to blow off a well quantified scientific approach for some voodoo. Not voodoo? Then post the data. And know what you’re talking about: “not like the cannon-ball splash of Viagra. Good treatment will make her feel more vital all the time, not just make her clit tingle now and then.” Really? Viagra and similar agents don’t cause desire and don’t make you tingle. They permit erectile tissues to work better when aroused naturally. No cannons, no tingle. And NOT what was being suggested anyway.

  16. As a man who’s passed the age of 30 (yet was carded on New Year’s Eve while standing in a very unflattering light at a local bar) I call bullshit on YOUNG. His inability to maintain a relationship isn’t due to his “youthful” looks, it’s all in his persona. I’m a lecherous, chain smoking, tequila sipping, gambling prick of a man, yet I receive a few “introductions” to women every year because I portray myself as an adult (and not as some unaging frat boy). The women who I meet (whether our compatibility ratio is low or high) never seem to have problems with suggesting that I talk to one of their friends, etc. If he really thinks that it’s his looks that are preventing women from taking him seriously, he needs to take a good look in the mirror (literally and figuratively) and get over himself.

  19. #60 wrote: “sorry herbs, but no good evidence based medicine supporting their use in this issue, or any other that I can think of”

    Are you insane? Do you know how many prescription medicines are based on ancient herbal remedies? You’ve probably got some in your medicine cabinet right now. Got aspirin?

    Plants are the source of over 40% of the pharmaceutical medicines in use today in the United States. Much of that is based on anecdotal evidence passed down through the generations, by people who knew which herbs did what.

    Some plants can kill you if you ingest them. Is that evidence enough that they contain chemicals which affect the human body? Jees.

    The ignorance and arrogance of some of you anti-alternative medicine folks is shocking to me.

  20. YOUNG sounds like a vain, self-absorbed douche, like the guys who write in to “complain” about how their friend’s girlfirends always wanna hook up with them, or the guys writing in to bemoan the problems that come with their Really Huge Cock.
    I suspect that, rather than his age/appearance discrepancy, that is what’s turning the girls away once they start chatting with him.

    I must also point out that even the young woman who find young attractive will start wondering why he is cruising girls instead of women. Not a good sign. The girls do have dads, and YOUNG is about as “young” as they are. Some are probably a bit creeped by that.

  21. @57
    Sham acupuncture more beneficial than re…
    SEED Magazine article explaining why as …

    @58
    That’s a study on the effect of the herb on preventing skin cancer in rats. That has absolutely nothing to do with increasing the libido in human women, and to suggest that it does is analogous to recommending NHNH use sunscreen.

    @59
    That website makes a lot of claims and has zero references. How does it boost immune cells? How does it increase sperm count? What does ‘nourishing females’ mean? How does it alleviate anemia? Where is a link to the supposed Alzheimer’s study? ‘Alkaloid’ is massive category of chemical compounds, and to suggest that because nicotine, caffeine and morphine have them (but they’re different ones!) and so does this herb it cures all is wishful thinking. Withanolide is only found in plants, and they make the claim that it can be used as a human hormone precursor, but give no references. In fact, the only hits in remotely academic locales are in regards to anticancer research, and nothing at all to do with libidos.

  22. @60 no time to argue with you logically as i’m studying for medical board exams and you have no logic, sorry mate, after 4 years of med school my knowledge of the topic trumps yours

  23. To NHNH: I’ve been thinking about your problem all day, actually. Read through the solutions offered here… I just find it hard to believe that less than two years on the pill could alter your sex drive permanently. Here’s what I think you should do (because obviously I’m SUCH an expert)…

    1) Tell yourself it is going to come back and don’t despair. Get yourself to a more supportive doctor AND get yourself to a shrink if you can afford it. You sound like you’ve been through a harrowing time, and that could be affecting your sex drive PLUS you could be psyching yourself out. Orgasms are heavily mental for me at least, and if I’d been feeling out of sorts sexually for more than a year, I would be having a hard time getting my head back in the game.

    2) Do Kegel exercises. Eat healthy. Exercise the rest of you too. It can’t hurt. I know I’m more energized and happier when I’m doing these things, and this could all contribute further to your desire levels.

    3) Don’t just take vaginal off the table for a while. Take orgasms off the table too – at least for yourself. Remove the pressure – there’s so much else that’s fun about sex besides that. I remember when I first started fooling around and I made my boyfriend scream and bang his head against the headboard at the same time in a good way – that was kind of cool. Get some books on neat things to try in bed and read them; see if that gets you worked up or curious. Then read them with your boyfriend.

    4)Kind of following from 3, turn your boyfriend into a science experiment. You love him, so you must enjoy giving him pleasure. Read up on all the cool stuff you can do to him and then set about blowing his mind and trying new things. If he feels guilty being on the receiving end so much, tell him you’ll be collecting the debt when your sex drive comes back.

    I guess my nutshell is to move forward on all fronts in addressing the problem, but not to confront it head on in the bedroom just yet. Improve your overall life, take an optimistic outlook and focus on anything but your sex drive in the bedroom for the time being. Instead focus on making the sex more interesting and fun.

    I apologize if this seems obtuse or a “no duh” solution you have already tried. I don’t want to be like those people who insist to the overweight that losing weight is easy or something.

  24. #67 rocks!!! Women with low sex drive are so fucking boring. Just like the two fat dykes and their doritos and sourcream that Sandra sing loh sic,wrote about a couple years ago and Dan referenced. I’d rather date a twink femme than a lame ass who doesn’t put out, and I’m a macho het. bear!!
    A friend of mine is 51 and dumb little girls can’t tell how old he is! He’s grey and blonde but still their too dumb to figure it out.

  25. You sound like somebody who SHOULD seriously consider dating ‘twink femmes”; your homo radical is showing, mr. “macho het unBEARable!”

  26. @71

    http://www.dynamicchiropractic.ca/mpacms…

    I posted the first ashwagandha link to show that there are compounds in the herb that do have proven medical applications, as you requested.

    As for libido research, it’s almost impossible to get goddamned funding for it unless you are studying a pharmaceutical, so I’m not surprised it doesn’t exist. But I can hunt down the general hormonal references if you like.

  27. Young needs to be pimped slapped. It’s not his age, it’s his self absorbed attitude that probably turns women off.

  31. Hey guys, when you’re taking herbs, keep in mind they’re unregulated. That means that supplement you pay for may or may not be effective, or may not even contain any active ingredient. It may have expired. It may be extremely low quality. It may be pressed into pill form with all kinds of harmful ingredients, or mixed in oil form with all kinds of harmful ingredients. It may come in inappropriate doses. It may cause all kinds of unexpected side effects, like St. John’s Wort counteracting birth control pills a few years back.

    Here’s a great example for anyone who likes colloidal silver. Anyone take supplement with colloidal silver?

    If you do, you’re being ripped off. Your supplement maker is lying to you and stealing your money, and selling you crap with NO active ingredient. And you should be grateful for that. Because the reason the medical establishment stopped using that stuff isn’t that it wasn’t patentable, or that big pharma couldn’t profit off it, it’s because it was turning people BLUE. Permanently. And not in a sexy, avatar kind of way, more like a three-day-old corpse. Still does, occasionally, when someone makes their own.

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/22536241/
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/con…

    I’m not saying your supplement can’t possibly work, I’m just saying you’re taking a few chances putting unstudied chemicals in your body, and you’re quite likely being ripped off.

  32. @69

    Of course a huge percentage of pharmaceuticals are based on herb lore, and of course many of them are made from plants. BUT, these drugs have undergone years of clinical trials, as the herbal remedies in your local Whole Foods have not. That is the difference. It’s not about being anti-alternative medicine, it’s about being more about being pro-evidence based medicine, because it’s much safer. It’s not that herbs have no effect, it’s that their effect is untested. Oh, and when I talk about evidence, I mean peer-reviewed, clinical trials.

  33. NHNH, I mourn the death of your sex drive. It upsets me that common cures can have such strong consequences. Full evaluations of the hormonal consequences of birth control are long overdue. I live in the Great Lakes region and we swim in a freshwater hormone soup. Will this make us all sexless automatons? Who can say? I wish you a thousand arousals NHNH. May you hump a thousand trees.

  34. I took birth control pills for close to a decade and it’s taken over a year past quitting for my body to start changing. Libido is up, blood pressure is down, energy level is up, and my hair is falling out.

  35. Could Geek Porn Girl (@17, 35, 41, et al) be any more crunch granola?

    Pre-natals when you’re not even trying to get pregnant, really? I had an unplanned pregnancy, didn’t start taking pre-natals til 8-12 weeks in and wasn’t really good about taking them until about 20 weeks (lots of upheaval and distress in my life made me forget a lot), and my son is healthy as can be. And herbs and homeopathic remedies are all fine and good, but she should still see a Dr. before starting any of that since internet research about those things is sketchy at best.

  36. NHNH might want to check into sympto-thermal fertility awareness- it involves taking a daily basal temperature and noting it on a graph along with changes in cervical fluid and cervical position. These indicators follow a relative pattern throughout the cycle and if all is well, your hormones are good. If something is off, like ovulation doesn’t occur, or there aren’t at least 10 days between ovulation and menstruation, or your cervix dosen’t produce fluid, or other problems you can observe, it will implicate a certain hormone. That way, NHNH can have a clue when talking to doctors and possibly save money on unnecessary tests. It’s somewhat of a pain, and I wouldn’t recommend it as birth control, but it’s something for her to start on while she goes looking for a doctor who is better than useless on the matter. I suspect that might take awhile. (I also suspect that a complete hormone work-up by an endocrinologist would be really expensive and not covered by insurance without a medical reason, assuming she has insurance). If that’s a problem for her- and it would be for me, she might try sympto-thermal first.

    http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your…

  37. I’m surprised that nobody has mentioned how unutterably rude it is to ask somebody’s age within minutes of meeting. I’m 25 but look 17 and get carded for everything (and female if that matters). And if some asshole asked me how old I was in a bar or club, he’d get the big old cold shoulder from me.

  38. Hey GeekPornGirl,
    Regarding comment at #41:

    There is issue to be taken with the idea that every
    -potentially fertile woman who is
    -sexually active
    -and using birth control of 98% effecacy
    needs to treat herself as potentially pregnant.

    Really? By this reasoning we should ban all pre-menopausal women from chocolate, alcohol, coffee, tuna fish, psychiatic medications and many antibiotics. We should also prevent them from professions involving use of chemicals (like cleaning, lab work, manufacturing, trucking, medicine), lifting (consider baking, filing, military service) and (otherwise safe) radiation (such as dentistry, quarry work) and pick your end point. This is foolish.

  40. @85: it’s not a bad idea to take a general multivitamin that has folic acid (most of them do), especially if you’re pale for your latitude, whenever you’re doing things that might get you pregnant.

    Absence of folic acid can, afaik, lead to some pretty nasty birth defects, even that early on, and it’s destroyed by sun exposure, so unless you eat a lot of, er, whatever folic acid comes from, it’s smart to take a multi that has some, as nutritional insurance.

    In fact [pedantic mode] folic acid is probably half of the equation that makes it so that, fairly consistently throughout history and in different regions, people at a particular latitude tend to be within a particular range of skin tones. The reason people can’t be too dark for their latitude has been known for a while (rickets from lack of vitamin D), but the link the other way wasn’t known until fairly recently. If you are getting too much sun, along with fun stuff like skin cancer (which tends to occur too late to mess with reproduction rates much), you’ll have a higher rate of birth defects because the folic acid in your skin is getting destroyed. [/pedantic mode]

    (ask me some time about the probable science behind racial myths about penis size…)

  41. I agree that Young’s problem must be his personality, his clothes or both. If it’s your clothes, lay off the t-shirts. At your age you should be wearing dress shirts or polos with the shoulder seams falling ON the shoulder. Pants should fit properly – not baggy. Nice slacks or dark-wash jeans with NO fading or distressing! Acid-wash is for kids!

  42. NHNH – I have PCOS, and can testify to the negative effects of male hormones in women (acne, lots of facial hair, and hair in other places that you don’t want it). I visit my endocrinologist for annual testing, and have been on medication for years to control my symptons. Enough about me. Go to an endocrinologist! Finding the delicate balance for your hormones is key.

    Btw, I had a non-hormonal IUD for years. I loved not having to take pills, shots, whatever. It is the Paragard IUD, and once implanted, it provides pregnancy protection for up to 10 years if I remember correctly.

    Good luck, you have my sympathy! 🙂

  43. I think if I were YOUNG, any time a woman (regardless of her age) asked me my age, I would simply say it; if she has a prob w/it, I would move on. However, I also don’t think lying about it is a great sin, as some folks here seem to think (“violating trust issues!” for heaven’s sake…) – in other words, I’m down with #39, who says it’s never really a deal-breaker for him.

    But I suppose we’ll always have closed-minded idiots like #47, who actually says “I personally find that dating someone outside of a plus-or-minus five year window is not a good idea, as they’re often in a much different phase of life. A guy in his late 30s isn’t looking to start a new family like a girl in her 20s, for example.”

    Tell that to Bogie & Bacall, among others.

  44. To NHNH; Paragard IUD! Best decision I ever made regarding my sexual health.

    To YOUNG; not all ladies are scared off by older men, but you need to tell them at the right time. I knew that the man who later became my fiancee was significantly older than me and he knew that I was quite young, but we didn’t reveal our exact ages until our second date. Three years later we’re planning our wedding and our families and friends care more about what they’re going to wear to it than our 15 year age difference.
    Perhaps the trick to finding the right lady is finding one that doesn’t ask your age within 10 minutes of meeting you.

  45. HNHN, I have the same problem and also decided to ditch the birth control that I was on for two years. I wouldn’t say that my libido is back to normal, or even really back, but there are glimmers of hope that it may come back. My advice to you is to pay attention to your body more often. If you are walking down the street and you actually notice that someone is attractive (which never happens when your libido is shot), then hold on to that moment. Try to turn yourself on throughout the day. Think about sexy things or read a trashy romance novels during lunch break. If you start re-training your body to think/act/be turned on when there is absolutely no possibility of sex happening, then it seems to make it easier to get turned on when there is the potential for sex. Or at least that is what I have been doing and I am seeing some improvement on the libido front. I wish you the best of luck and want to let you know that you have company in this situation.

  46. @76/79

    I wouldn’t exactly trust the website of the dude selling the stuff with reports of its efficacy. And the fact that the “exact dosages and extract potencies of” the Passion Rx marketed as a sexual enhancer to men and women are a “close kept secret” is a HUGE red flag.

    The studies on that site are interesting, but do not speak to this herb’s effect on libido in the least. It’s not surprising that a plant has antimicrobial properties. There’s a bit of evidence that something in the mix has antitumor or protective effects against some types of cancers. And a bit of evidence that something in the mix may increase NO production at the transcriptional level, but it’s a huge stretch to say that’s going to have an effect on sex drive.

    And the only mentions of thyroid involvement are the anecdotal emails at the bottom.

  47. I am a 24yr old male that is 5’9” 180lbs. I am a good looking guy with a a good career, however, I run in to the same thing that YOUNG is running in too. I am baby faced as hell and get carded for everything, while I was in ATL I was carded to make sure I was old enough to drive. I could easily pass for 17 or 18. The main difference i find between myself and guys that are 18 is the way you talk to women and the way you carry yourself. It is easy for people that are 18 to identify me as older. However, girls my age typically think I am much younger. YOUNG i know what you are dealing with and happy hunting.

  48. @ YOUNG, i dont get why you cant just say “i’m not comfortable disclosing you my age yet”… that way.. you dont even need to lie…

  49. Ray Sahelian does pimp out his products pretty heavily but his references are always sound. I’m not saying anyone should buy the PassionRx thing–proprietary kitchen sink herbals are ALWAYS a bad thing to take.

    I’m not terribly motivated to look into the herb’s effect on NO. I’ve never tried the herb myself and don’t know much about it.

  50. Think schmacky (#50) has nailed it. And I think countless others are correct in saying perhaps it’s not his looks that are the problem… perhaps it’s the attitude.

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