My life is not horrible. I’m an American college student. Compared to most people in the world, I’m pretty well-off. I go to college in Bellingham, Washington—the weed is awesome, the weather is great, and there are lots of hot guys. Score! But! I’m a homo. And I didn’t know how horrible my life was until I got here…
It seems like every gay/queer person who is involved in anything gay/queer on campus has this idea that gay people are SO oppressed that we need to constantly discuss it and feel like victims. Don’t get me wrong: We are a ways away from equality, and I recognize this. But it seems like the constant thread on college campuses for queers—other than talking about Lady Gaga or sucking dick—is complaining about how oppressed queer people are.
How do I respectfully say, “STFU, we’re doing just fine, you white, upper-class American kids” without sounding like an insensitive assdouche?
MG
You know, when I came out to my parents in 1981ishwhateversomething, telling my mom and dad that I was gay didn’t just mean telling them I liked to kissandotherstuff boys. It meant telling them I would never marry, never have children, and never be a marine. Or at least that’s what I thought I was telling them. But here we are, three short decades later, and I’m married. And I have a child. And now I can be a marine. (Not that I want to be a marine—well, not anymore. After seeing a pic of a shirtless Navy Seal in last week’s New York Times, I want to be a Navy Seal.)
And I live in Seattle, where the weed is awesome (I’m told), the weather is great (if you like to snowboard), and the boy I marriedandkissandotherstuff is a lotta hot guy all by himself.
I agree with you, MG. Things are good. Things have gotten better—and not just for me.
But we have work left to do. We have our full civil equality to secure, homo- and transphobic violence to confront, bigoted lawmakers to defeat (hey there, Rick!). But the discrimination and challenges we face shouldn’t prevent us from appreciating the good things. Yes, it has gotten better. That doesn’t mean we can ignore the bashings (tinyurl.com/42lqr55) and outrages (tinyurl.com/27ugxtz) and tragedies (tinyurl.com/3lk5h3l). But we shouldn’t be so in love with our victimization—or so insecure about our progress—that we can’t acknowledge the triumphs (tinyurl.com/3uzulpr) and joys (tinyurl.com/2g3pwry) and Navy Seals (tinyurl.com/68xol6p).
So I’m with you, MG—up to a point.
I disagree about the STFU part. You don’t have to hang out with the kind of LGBT activists who aren’t capable of fighting the good fight—fighting for their civil equality and mine and yours—while also appreciating all the good things about their lives. Not all LGBT activists are humorless scolds. Some are, for sure (and they tend to be overrepresented on college campuses), but there are plenty of people out there who can organize a protest one night and a good party the next.
Guys like you and me, MG, people who have it pretty good, have to remember that there are LGBT folks out there who have it lousy and not all of them are in a position to speak up for themselves. Let me see if I can think of an example… okay: There are bullied and isolated and abused LGBT kids out there who don’t live in places like Bellingham or Seattle, who don’t have the love and support of their parents, and who aren’t “doing fine.” If we don’t speak up for isolated and bullied LGBT kids, who will? (For the record: There are lots and lots and lots of loved and accepted LGBT kids out there, too—not all LGBT kids are miserable—who are doing fine and fighting for their own rights and the rights of other LGBT kids.)
We don’t have to mope. We don’t have to pretend that we feel oppressed 24/7. And we don’t have to attend pointless queer events that are run by LGBT whiners who mistake wallowing in self-pity for activism. You’ll find, once you get out of college, that most of us aren’t moping, pretending, or attending. Most of us are getting on with our lives and doing fine.
But, again, not all LGBT people are doing fine, MG, just as not all LGBT people are white or upper-class or in college or lucky enough to live in Bellingham. If you’re in a position to do something, MG, you should. You don’t have to do everything. Make your contribution. It doesn’t have to take over your life, and you don’t have to pretend to be any more oppressed than you actually are. But you should do something.
Remember: The only thing more annoying than a whiny, college-age queer with a persecution complex is a smug, college-age queer who takes his good fortune for granted and couldn’t give a shit about other people because, hey, he’s got his (his weed, his boys, his education).
I’m a 26-year-old lady who just broke up with a man I thought I wanted to marry. We had incredible, playful sex, were very kind to each other, are both a little queer, and share many interests in spite of our 20-year age difference.
Six months into our relationship, I moved to a bigger city four hours away, and we could see each other only every other weekend. Because of our careers, it wouldn’t be possible for us to live in the same place again for at least two or three years, maybe more. That was one reason I broke up with him. I also feared that he needed to be with a man—even though he loves me to sit on his face. He’s definitely bi, but he’s never been with a man. I am, too, but having had girlfriends makes me comfortable knowing that I mostly want to be with men. Part of me is excited to be free to explore my new city on my own and trusts I made a mature decision. Part of me thinks I really fucked up to let go of a kind, fun—if slightly flawed (but they all are)—relationship. What do you think?
Drowning My Sorrows In Glee
I think it’s a wonderful thing to be 26, bi, single, employed, and living in a big city. I think that a guy who’s single, bi, and amazing in bed at 46 is likely to be single, bi, and amazing in bed at 48. (No guarantees, of course.) You should enjoy the next couple of years, DMSIG, and then revisit the issue of Mr. Wonderful if and when you two or circumstances conspire to put you in the same place again.
I have to take you to task for your answer to Sent From My iPhone. In your answer, you compared condoms and withdrawal as methods of birth control. As a former Planned Parenthood volunteer educator, I will tell you that, like withdrawal, condoms alone are NEVER a recommended form of birth control. To compare these two “methods” is a little irresponsible. In fact, condoms alone weren’t even on our list of birth control methods. The good news is that condoms PLUS spermicide were on that list. When used together and properly, condoms and spermicide are almost as effective as the pill in preventing pregnancy.
Loud Mouth About Birth Control
Thanks for sharing, LMABC.
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
CONDOMS PLUS SPERMICIDE?!?!?! I call bullshit! I highly doubt that responsible sex educators are recommending condoms and spermicide. Spermicide is irritating to the vagina and can increase the STI risk of those who use it.
I just checked the Planned Parenthood Canada website. They most certainly DO recommend condoms alone as an effective method of birth control. I don’t know where the hell LMABC is from.
LMABC actually uses scare quotes, calling condoms a “method” of birth control. Dan, did you check this letter with Planned Parenthood itself before throwing their name around?
I was just at Planned Parenthood, and they *do* recommend condoms alone, especially since spermicide has been shown to irritate vaginal tissue, thereby creating susceptibility to STIs.
I don’t know who this person is, but their information is not correct.
@9 “That is why, here in Calgary, they are putting IUDs in the teenagers assembly line style in mass clinics.”
I’m surprised that they are putting IUDs in teenagers. In the U.S., you’d have trouble finding a doctor that would fix you up with an IUD unless you have already had a kid. They say the risk of uterine perforation is higher, but I don’t know what they base that risk factor on.
I had trouble with the pill, so had an IUD for years. It worked great the first time I used one. But after my second kid, I had one inserted and two months later I was pregnant with my third kid. They have a 2% failure rate, and I guess I was one of them.
If you don’t want to have kids, or have enough, sterilization is a good method of birth control.
@47 – yes, one can definitely cheat without telling overt lies, but I myself consider lying by ommission still to be a lie.
@13 – yes, please more info
I’m sure we can get to those 400 comments……..
And to chime in with the anti-spermicide crowd…..It didn’t take long for me to figure out (at 16) that I could not use condoms with nonoxynol-9 either…ouch!
You are extremely common, ricardo. It’s not grammatically incorrect, stupid. QM’s can be used to draw attention to a word by the writer. That is all, gayfag.
————–
Also, the gay activist community is rife with unfortunate looking activists. Fugly sads, or sad fuglies. They aren’t getting a lot of sex for obvious reasons (pork chops couldn’t induce the dog to play with ’em in their formative years). The lack of sex and isolation from being different causes them to exaggerate the oppression that they experience as a distraction from the resentment that will eventually consume their every sentient moment in choking bitterness that prevents normal functioning. This also explains their curious habit of involving themselves in, say, Palestinian enfranchisement…or other causes that have nothing to do with gay rights, or are in fact opposed to them. Instead of channeling the constant rejection of their sexual advances to, say, cryptography, understanding Ovid, learning mandarin, or linear algebra, they are constantly looking to triangulate any oppression (however slight or even nonexistent) back to them, and use that to get attention. But thank goodness for ugly homosexuals…without them, there’d be no gay rights movement…as the others were far too busy with debauched profligacy to focus on improving their lot in life. Yes, the u.s. is still a homophobic apartheid nation, but not as bad…haz a milkshake, buys a truck.
I’ve been all over the PP website and I can’t find anything that says that condoms shouldn’t be used alone. I did, however, find plenty of info that said that spermicide should never be used alone.
I think Dan means most guys who get to their late 40s and are single, as in not in FOREVER AND EVER monogamous relationships are enjoying it just fine and have no manic need to pair off. From my anecdotal experience, I’d tend to agree. By that point, most guys (and girls) tend to be pretty comfortable in who they are and where they are and a permanent full time mate isn’t necessarily a requirement.
There’s a big chunk of missing information in the letter from Drowning My Sorrows. I’m surprised Dan didn’t pick up on it and ask. How did Mr. Playful Sex take the break-up? Was he ready to marry when she pulled the rug out from under him? Is he devastated? Is he bitter?
True, he’s likely still to be single in 2-3 years, but is he going to want to take her back? Does he feel like she’s running roughshod over his heart? For that matter, was he even consulted about the move and the time apart?
For all we know, at 46, he could be ready to settle down. He might be looking for The One. He might feel betrayed by the break-up and be quick to move on. We don’t know, but if any part of my (admittedly fictional but not altogether far fetched) scenario is true, Drowning may have made a real mistake.
As MG is discovering, zealots of all stripes — from put upon minorities to privileged teabaggers — are tedious, regardless of how much their audience might sympathise with their cause or concerns. What whiners in all socioeconomic groups often fail to realize, however, is how easy it is for people to simply ignore them and leave them marginalized and preaching to the choir.
Girls should not be pumping their bodies full of hormones when IUDs have been used in Europe for decades as the preferred form of birth control. IUDs plus condoms are great. Unless you’re anemic. 🙁 I’m really looking forward to husband getting the big snip when we’re done having kids.
Pulling out fucking sucks. There’s something vaguely icky about it, like the guy can’t dare to come in you because he doesn’t trust you or something I can’t quite put my finger on. Besides nothing is hotter than a man shoving good and hard and deep and exploding as he holds you so tight you can barely breathe. It’s very much a feeling of “I did a good job! :-D”
My advice to MG is the next time someone brings up how they are being oppressed, turn to them and say, “How can we stop that?”
Most people who harp on how mean the world is to them shut up when you challenge them to take action to fix the problem.
@ 13:
Technically cheating is a form of lying, if you have both explicitly agreed that you are in an exclusive relationship (a big if). However, in my experience villains very seldom see themselves as villains so don’t be surprised if the cheater has rationalize the situation to the point where he or she comes out in their mind smelling better than their own farts.
As for whether all liars cheat; maybe not. However, always watch out in any relationship with anyone you cannot implicitly trust. That is not to say that you cannot have rock’n GGG sex with a mendacious hottie, but do not leave anything that you might value, like your heart or your wallet, lying around to be mistreated.
As a resident of Bellingham, I can say with full confidence that a large part of the issue is where he’s living. I love it there, but the outrageous number of old-enough-to-know-better professional activists (of all types), combined with the typical obnoxious self-centeredness of college students, are a perfect storm for exactly the kind of incessant overpriveleged whining he describes. You learn quickly to avoid anyone with gray hair in a scraggly ponytail carrying a clipboard.
@61: There are two types of IUD – the ParaGard (copper) and the Mirena (plastic with hormones). Your anemia should only be an issue if you use the copper IUD, because it can increase bleeding during your period. The Mirena actually stops periods after a few months. I have one and LOVE it. I don’t know why more women don’t have it. The only real downside I can think of is the increased risk if an STI is contracted, but I insist on condom use and don’t really sleep around anyway, so I’m not overly worried. If you’re in a monogamous relationship and neither you nor your partner have an STI, you’re almost certainly fine.
Maybe I’m a wimp, but I know the idea of going to the doctor and getting my cervix opened up to have an IUD inserted would turn me off from ever getting one. No thanks! I love my Nuvaring.
@ 56 – That’s what underlining is for, PP.
There’s a lot of pro-IUD comments here, so I just have to chime in with my bad experience. I’m in my 20s, no children, and I had Mirena for 4 months. About a month in, my sex drive pretty much went away. When I did have sex, my boyfriend could feel the strings and it creeped him out, so I only ended up having sex a few times while on it. Good for birth control… bad for the sex life. Good to know it’s working for a lot of people, but #9’s “assembly line” quote had me a bit nervous.
RE mg,
I attended WWU between ’94 and ’98. The picture he paints is precisely the environment I experienced, though being straight I’m sure I had a different point of view. When Ellen Degeneres came out of the closet it was celebrated like the second coming of Christ. Though at heart I knew I was supportive of the LGBT cause, I was actually leery of stating what was on my mind at the time, which was “Okay, you’re gay. Big fucking deal”.
Reading this letter brought back some fond memories. Yes the weed was good. It’s good down hear in Longview too. I was also a bit turned off by all the wannabe NORML idiots dancing around chalk drawings of bongs in Red Square. Guess that makes me a right wing asshole.
But not italics or QMs? So according to you, scare quotes are grammatically incorrect. And they can be overused, but grammatically incorrect? Shaddup, stupid old gayfag.
@51, Please email Mr. Savage directly and get him introduced to someone at PP. The last letter is way off base.
Both my husband and I are allergic to nonoxynol-9. I can’t take hormones, don’t clot well, so no pill’s or IUD’s. We’ve been using lubricated condoms for 23+ years & never a pregnancy. The failure rate that is associated with condoms is really a disservice to the public.
I get that pregnancy prevention counselors have to say: “Use a condom AND spermicide.” They have to give the ironclad advice, but it’s not practical. I’m living proof you can use condoms alone for decades and not get anyone pregnant. I can attest that withdrawal works well, too, although I wouldn’t recommend using it on anyone you wouldn’t mind getting pregnant, because there’s a lot more finesse to getting it right. It’s a lot hotter than condoms, though.
@53 I had no problem getting fitted with an IUD without having had children (I’m 28 though not a teen). When I talked to the NP who fitted mine I brought up the fact it’s recommended for those with kids and she told me she fits them in teens all the time. IUDs got a bad rap because the original ones in the 70s were pretty bad but they’ve been drastically improved.
BTW my rule has always been condoms to prevent STIs and other birth control to prevent pregnancy. For a while me and my BF were actually using 3 methods, condoms, IUD, and he’s had a vasectomy. Now we’re fluid bonded so we’ve stopped using condoms but I’m keeping my IUD because I like not having periods.
@71 After 23 years why doesn’t your husband just get a vasectomy? If you aren’t planning on kids at all I don’t see why a quick outpatient procedure isn’t on the table.
@61 wendykh
Amen to getting “the big snip.” It’s the best thing I ever did to improve my sex life. Staying in to the end au natural is mind blowing. Get it done the minute you can.
I hope I don’t scare anyone with this fun fact but there is some pain post-op. Even if you aren’t into pain normally, the orgasms you have while your sack is healing are once in a lifetime powerful. I’d almost have the procedure again.
@70 Ricardo is right about the quotation marks:
Be careful not to use quotation marks in an attempt to emphasize a word (the kind of thing you see in grocery store windows—Big “Sale” Today!). Underline or italicize that word instead. (The quotation marks will suggest to some people that you are using that word in a special or peculiar way and that you really mean something else—or that your sale is entirely bogus.)
That’s from http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/m…. Other references include http://grammartips.homestead.com/general…, http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/gramma…, Wikipedia– basically any place that discusses punctuation. Quotation marks are not used for emphasis; underlining, italicizing and bolding are.
So scare quotes are grammatically incorrect? You, too, are a fool. And no, retardo is not right. Facts as they be.
LMABC Isn’t entirely correct. While using a condom and an independent spermicide (like a contraceptive film) MAY decrease the risk of pregnancy, spermicidal condoms (such as those often sold by trojan) are inherently problematic and increase the risk of contracting an STI.
Spermicidal condoms use the chemical nonoxynol-9 which causes micro abrasions in the vaginal canal or anus. This is problematic not only because it can be very irritating for sensitive tissue, but also because if the condom were to break it would give STIs a direct pathway into the bloodstream.
Additionally, the amount of spermicide on condoms is not actually sufficient to kill an appreciable amount of semen.
I would highly urge Dan to clarify this as spermicidal condoms are often marketed as being as effective as using a back up method, when all they due is increase irritation and risk of STI transmission.
@34 and 65
“IUD would be a good option IF women using it were 100% certain they would not get an STI. (The little string that hangs from it is a brilliant way to transmit pathogens from the vagina to the uterus and further, thus making a case of STI several times worse, in terms of symptoms and long term consequences.)”
“The only real downside I can think of is the increased risk if an STI is contracted…”
This is 100% false and extremely outdated. In the 1970s the Dalkon Shield was the first IUD introduced and it featured a braided, porous string that could wick bacteria into the uterus. This led to a disproportionate rate of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) which can lead to infertility and other complications.
This is NOT true of the modern IUDs on the market (Mirena and Paraguard). The only way that one could contract PID because of one of these IUDs is if they were to already be infected when the IUD is inserted. Because of this, doctors are scrupulous about testing patients for STIs and fully treating them prior to inserting IUDs.
@45
Trojan is the only brand of condoms I know of that still routinely uses spermicide. Brands like lifestyles, durex, and Sir Richards are just as widely available and do not use it.
@53
Many US ob/gyns do not go to their continuing education. IUDs are perfectly saf for women who haven’t given birth, although the risk of the IUD slipping out is increased by about 10%. This is more of an annoyance than anything else as the IUD would cease to be effective. Slipping is easily checked for via the string that hangs out of the cervix. The failure rate for IUDs is actually less than 1% so it’s very odd that you got pregnant while on it.
@10 – Hey TROLL, get a clue! You’ve been told repeatedly that everyone knows you’re a troll and your comments are always full of shit.
Go and make yourself useful instead of whining about how “hard you have it.”
Boo hoo, I’m a man and I have to treat others who aren’t like me with dignity and respect.
Tsk, tsk, poor baby!
Yep, we can all tell by your posts that you have low self esteem and little self respect but do try to pretend that you can imagine how others may wish to be treated.
You are a TROLL and in real life you’re bitter and hate filled. Go and work on your inner landscape.
Seriously, there guy, the only person in your head is YOU. YOU are the ONLY thing in life that you can change and when you learn that, your whole perspective will change and you will stop being so hateful.
It is astonishing that I’ve given this one minute and 27 seconds to you but I type fast.
Go and sort your head out, mate.
Nonoxynol-9 is hell. Sex is no fun when you can’t even have it.
My spouse and I have been using condoms alone for birth control for almost 30 years now. We are both allergic to spermicides. Nonetheless, we only have one child, and it was while we were trying to conceive. Condoms alone has worked pretty awesomely for us.
As for Noadi’s question of why not get snipped if we’ve had all the kids we want, I can attest that in our case our insurance won’t cover the entire cost, and what they don’t cover is a large chunk of change indeed.
@ 78 – Thanks, Chicago Girl, but by now we should all know that PP is not bothered with facts, relevance, objectivity or anything else that might make his comments interesting or valuable.
Any criticism he has of anyone else would actually be better applied to himself, IMNSHO. For instance, he says I’m “common”, but ends his remarks to me with “gayfag”… Funny, don’t you think?
And the less we pay attention to him (does anyone actually read his rants?), the more aggressive he gets. The most pathetic part is that he probably thinks I’m actually angered by what he said… when all I did was set the matter straight on punctuation, coz I hate leaving any doubt about my gayness (and coz after 25 years of correcting faulty punctuation, I’m pretty good at it).
Count me in the anti-spermicide camp, though I’m pretty sure I’ve actually never used it; increased STI risk and irritation are not worth it. But neither is pregnancy, which is why I got my tubes tied* at 24**. I still love condoms, for the easy clean-up.
*Technically, blocked not tied, yay Essure.
**Thank you, fuss-free Seattle docs.
How are facts, relevance, and objectivity a part of the misapplication of a misunderstood rule of grammar on both of your parts? Let’s go back to what I wrote to clear this up for you complete fucking morons. See, you give a moron access to the internet, and they get to misuse all sorts of rules by misidentifying all sorts of patterns.
“QMs can be used to draw attention to a word by the writer.”
That’s true on whatever rules for question marks you’re proposing. If you’re suggesting an obscure meaning for a word, then it’s used to draw attention to it. Let’s not even go into its uses for irony and sarcasm, turnips (which would correspond to my use of it). And in this, I used a question mark to draw attention to the word “gay,” and it was legitimate–a reference to a previous exchange with retardo. The end, stupids.
@78 (and Ricardo) Amen! That’s always been one of my English major pet peeves. You have the “best” fried chicken in the city?? Are you secretly acknowledging the fact that in all probability you don’t? Quotes imply skepticism or, you know, a quote. Try all caps, underline, or even italics for emphasis.
(BTW PP if you missed the implication: you are an idiot.)
quotation marks even.
The point is that I’m correct, and you’re a gayfag. There is no legitimate dispute here about my use of quotation marks.
@35, your information on the IUD string wicking bacteria into the uterus is several decades out of date. Modern IUDs have a monofilament that is not susceptible to wicking, and thus the only time PID is really an increased risk is during or within a month of insertion. (So get STI tested before insertion, and be wise all the time, but especially right after!)
Also–and this is really cool–the Mirena creates a mucus plug in the cervix that actually reduces the PID risk below Paragard and non-IUD levels.
http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=IUD+…
http://www.ippf.org/en/Resources/Guides-…
@ 87 – From what we can see @ 88 and 89, he missed it. And he’s too much of an idiot to ever get it.
He thinks that the mere act of saying “I’m right” actually makes him right, in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
And really, what can we expect from someone who thinks telling a gay man that he’s a “gayfag” will get that gay man all worked up? It’s just laughable.
Laughable. Indeed. LOL!
I could never do an IUD.
The thought of an foreign plastic of metal object in that part of my body is deeply disturbing to me. I’m suprised other women don’t feel the same. The diagrams of them disgust me – and this is coming from someone who looks at medical pictures a lot.
@83: I got snipped at Planned Parenthood for free… have you checked them out?
@87 “try caps” (rather than QM) for emphasis.
Please, oh please refrain. The density of caps in last weeks discussion was close on unbearable. Thoughtful reasonable prose works for me IN LOWER CASE PLEASE!!!! (and without exclamation marks)
The thought of an foreign plastic of metal object in that part of my body is deeply disturbing to me. I’m suprised other women don’t feel the same.
[Raises hand and waves it wildly] ME! ME! The thought of someone shoving a spring into my fucking cervix makes me wanna faint while barfing.
Although I’ve never tried hormonal birth control, I’m sure it would fuck me up (because everything fucks me up – I am The Girl Who is Allergic to Everything). And I don’t want to use anything that I have to rummage around in my vag to remove (diaphragms, sponges).
So basically for me it’s all condoms, all the time. And I’m 38 and have never gotten pregnant.
@91: As the graffiti on the wall outside my local gay bar used to say, “Fags Are Gay.”
Where do people get the idea that it’s ok to use quotation marks for emphasis? God, it’s like everyone failed grade 5.
On that note, how do you make text bold or italic on here?
I had the greatest revelation and answer to all queries… but I got on late and had to read all before, then puffed and sipped… I just remember 10’s idea to ‘get over it and quit bitchin,,,Well, open up then the gas chambers, closets, jails, wider… because that is just what keeping quiet does. So keep it down !!!
@ 80, I’m always looking forward to learning new things but I am not sure I can trust what you’re saying about the safety of IUDs until I’ve seen some research that confirms it. So where do you get your information from? Right now, the official Mirena website states things like:
“Use of Mirena and other IUDs has been associated with an increased risk of PID”
and
“Mirena is not appropriate for women who can get infections easily. For example, if you have more than one sexual partner or your partner has more than one partner, problems with your immune system, leukemia, AIDS, intravenous drug abuse”
Why are these limiting factors if the infection won’t spread to the uterus and beyond? You can be on the pill if you get infections easily, why can’t you get an IUD?
@ 93, I feel the same way about it, and I could never get breast implants either, sadly 😛
@99 tiare
“I could never get breast implants either, sadly”
I don’t know you or what your body issues might be, but I think small breasts are exquisite!
@96 “makes me want to faint while barfing” is possibly the best description I’ve ever heard.
I’ve been using hormonal birth control for what feels like ages now and I like it but I’m too flaky to be a good pill-taker so I use condoms too for the bulk of the time.
I was shocked to read up there that condoms alone should never be used? What? Isn’t that what the majority of young people use? I know that’s what I used when I was young and my mom wouldn’t let me go on the pill.
@99
I’m with you – and I agree about the breast implants but I wouldn’t want them anyway. I’m one of those reeeally rare girls that is happy with her breast size. And you should be too. I mean really, when was the last time you looked at a woman and thought “she’d look better with bigger cans”. This is all assuming that Mr. J read you right and you weren’t just being self-deprecating for humour.