Amazing advice. Sometimes I feel jaded since I've been there, done that, know it all. But when young adults reach out to you, I realize just how great your (and crew's) advice is. Keep it up!

Great advice. I would ask CLIT if her big one causes over-sensitivity or even pain if it presses up against clothing or while seated.

many of us love big clits. just find the right person who can appreciate your uniqueness. many fish in the sea...

I dunno. If I was that girl I might have been a bit worried before, but now I'd be freaked the hell out.

Alice is a national treasure, if this answer is anything to go by.

Great advice. I have a fairly large clit (but I would guess that it's still within the normal range and this girl sounds like she believes she out of that range). I didn't really know it wasn't typical until I started having sex with women, but I always figured it was, like Alice said, like boob size. There are variations.

Every sex partner I've ever had has absolutely LOVED my clit (it's like a bright pink neon sign when I'm aroused, it gives directions almost as well as I do), and so do I.

Great advice. All I'd add is this. I've been with a few women with much larger than average clits and all of them had been much larger than average (obese) when they were younger. I don't know if there's a real correlation or if it's just coincidence but could this be related? Also have no idea if this info is even helpful since these women were no longer obese and still had large clits anyway.

She might be freaking about normal changes in her genitalia due to development. Guys have their dicks grow during adolescence, and the genitalia of girls get bigger during adolescence, too. I remember my lips getting bigger and thinking I was growing balls.

She should enjoy her big clit. There are lots of people who like them. I'm sure it's normal for her, and some doctor is likely to want to prescribe something or do something just because that's how they make money off of people. If it's not causing her physical pain, she should learn to enjoy it and be proud of it.

This is Dan at his best. Wow. (And a big thank you to Alice, too.) Wonderful advice.

Alice, you rock.

I wish my high school girlfriend had a big clit, then I might not have been so clueless.

I want to know how big it really is and what the shape is like. Like, small penis mini-wiener big? Or rounder, maybe hazelnut sized?

Here's hoping that you embrace your clit as a superpower, CLIT. Enjoy your unique beauty.

You'll come to learn that we all have issues with parts of our bodies and concerns about how we perform sexually, it's both natural and human. You'll learn that the journey is a beautiful thing, when you embrace yourself and your unique gifts.

Take care and good luck, kiddo.

Maybe she's actually got a dick and the testes haven't descended yet.

Wow, this Alice Dreger person is *awesome*. Excellent advice.

Agree with everyone who said that that was some excellent advice. And, Alice spoke to the latter writer like a human being, not like "just a teenager", which is really nice to see with topics like this.

I hope she reads the slog post and comments.

I -love- large clits. I think they're incredibly sexy. My girlfriend's clit is only slightly bigger than normal, but I love it quite a bit. I hope she finds a guy that is into her and into large clits, so he can worship both her and her amazing clit.

'WARE FETISHISTS ON THE PORTSIDE BOW!

Also, great advice.

My advice to her is:

Don't think that just because you've seen a lot of internet porn that you've seen the entire range of what's normal. The people who provide the most content are extremely selective about what they think is marketable, and "normal" people are not always well represented.

You should see a gyno, who will have seen the whole range in person, and ask them. If you're fifteen now, your parents may have not wanted to deal with the idea of you being a sexual being in the past (which was when you were what, 14? 13?), but that's going to get more difficult as you get older. Maybe you can visit planned parenthood on your own?

Two other thoughts:

Have you been taking steroids? I recently heard that the largest population of steroid abusers is now teenage girls, trying to get that 'cut' look. That can be bad news. An enlarged clit is one of many potentially unwanted side effects.

Also, more than once I've wished that a partner had a larger clit, as that makes it a lot easier to do some extremely fun stuff with mouth and/or fingers.

Good luck!

Reminds me of the line from Clerks 2: "An abnormally large clit is just a step away from a very tiny penis." Except that might make the letter writer feel bad, which is not my intention--that line just cracks me up.

The only other advice I would have for this girl is to let her know that most guys she'd be ready to screw are going to have NO idea what is normal or "above average" for clit-size. Like Dan says about kinks, don't treat it like you have a disease, treat it like a bonus. And it is! Guys (esp. young guys) have a hard enough time figuring out female genital anatomy--a big clit is a HUGE bonus (no pun intended). Guide them home, honey!

(My 39 year old boyfriend, purveyor of hundreds if not thousands of hours of porn over his lifetime, and participant in a lifetime of serially monogamous relationships, could still not identify what a "normal" or "above average" clit size would be. He can find it easily enough, he just has no idea whether it "should be" bigger or smaller. I think some men prefer to be a little in the dark, y'know?)

As the prospective parent of an eventually-teenage girl (ultrasound in a few weeks), I'd like to add that she should hold off on having [safe!] sex with a boy for a few years still. Get to know yourself, and learn how to find respectful, generous partners in making out, groping, and even oral before you go the rest of the way.

It's probably not a popular opinion around here, but I still think there is a proper age for your first penetrative sexual experience: 17. At least. 20 at the latest. Boys and girls alike.

Aside from all unnecessary anxiety, THIS GIRL IS LUCKY AND I ENVY HER.

Think of the possibilities we could have if all clits were larger. Why the hell are they so small anyway?

THIS GIRL IS A GEM AND NEEDS TO USE HER POWER!!

That Alice is a treasure.

Amazing advice. If I'd had Alice around when I was a girl, I wouldn't have had to spend so much time fucking around with _Our Bodies, Our Selves._
By the way, CLIT-- consider giving girls the ol' college try. You will make them very, very happy.

Amazing advice. If I'd had Alice around when I was a girl, I wouldn't have had to spend so much time fucking around with _Our Bodies, Our Selves._
By the way, CLIT-- consider giving girls the ol' college try. You will make them very, very happy.

When I read the "canned ham" comment - always funny! - I had to double-check the quote to confirm that it was another person's words and not Dan's. Is this expression common in the parlance of sex advice - or was that just a tip of Alice's hat to Dan?

Bravo Alice! I'm going to print this out and hand it out to all the gyn students who rotate here. Wish I'd had this level of teaching way back when...

I have high androgens due to an adrenal disorder. High T *does* equal higher sex drive. Totally. Went on meds that reduced, sex drive went down. stopped those meds, androgens rose and raised sex drive.

also re obesity, hirstutism, other metabolic and cosmetic disorders: all of these *are* caused by disorders that feature high androgens, for example PCOS, Cushings (syndrome or disease, classic or non), congenital adrenal hyperplasia....these can also cause enlarged clit.

I would view a higher sex drive and enlarged clit as an asset to be managed (just think of all the poor girls who don't know how to come or don't see the appeal of sex!).

But LW is correct to want to get this checked out with a gyno or endocrinologist as the aforementioned disorders can have serious implications.

a couple words of advice:
1. doctors work for you; if your doc is not listening or is otherwise problematic you can and should fire them and keep looking for a doctor who will work with you to figure this out.
2. *don't take steroids* (or any meds) unless you are crystal clear as to why you are taking them, have a timetable of expected results and followup tests, and have access to a responsive doc who can change the dosage or take you off if you experience adverse side effects
(i gained 60lb in 4-5 months! and i stupidly didnt question my absentminded doc. my T went down but my weight ballooned plus hair, cystic acne...was so not worth it. but i wanted to be cooperative! i didn't realize that it is my body and i live here and no one else will care about it the way i do)

good luck! hope your fears are allayed and it isnt too serious.

ps docs hand out hormonal BC like candy, especially Yasmin for women with high androgens. it can help with pms but can also sap testosterone, lowering sex drive and also inhibiting muscle gain. not to mention the potential for major mood swings. it's something to consider and monitor, not blithely accept.

I went through all the things Alice described as an adolescent with my male endocrinologist's team in Ohio. When I was a newborn, the doctors told my Mom that my clitoris should be removed, but she thankfully refused. As an adolescent, I was diagnosed with a battery of hormonal problems, given ridiculous amounts of medication, and peered at like a sideshow freak by med school interns ("have you ever seen anything like THAT before?" was a phrase I heard more times than I care to recall). Several male endocrinologists later didn't solve anything, diagnosis & treatment-wise, and I was always a bit self-conscious because I always told how "abnormal" I was.

Then, I moved to Boston for grad school and got a new endocrinologist--a female, and brilliant at that. It took forever to get my medical records, so we started with just my personal narrative of my history coupled with tests and physical exams. Shockingly, my doctor told me that not only was my physical anatomy well within the range of "normal," that my history and all my test results would indicated that not only was I misdiagnosed and mistreated for like 12 years, but I was very healthy. She theorized that this was partly because male doctors are just not that good with female anatomy and female adolescent hormonal changes.

I would suggest that, no matter what, this young lady find a crew of female doctors and get some second opinions. Mine has saved my life.

Fifteen isn't that far from 18. If your clit doesn't hurt, it may be safer to wait until you're legally an adult in college. Until then, your family doctor might spill the beans to your parents, and your parents might force you into "treatment" because they fear female sexuality.

Oy vey. So much desire to create uniformity in the genitals of newborns. What? Not circumcise your son? He'll look different than other boys in the locker room! Your daughter has a big clit! We need to fix that now!

And then, down the road, when they see a large clit, they're all aghast, Never seen one like that! Yeah, I know. Because other docs have been going after them for too long.

Leave conformity-peddling to the hairdressers, docs.

Just how fucking big is this thing?

As long as it isn't a medical problem and doesn't hurt, don't worry about it. Don't feel like a freak. I'm a guy, and I haven't the slightest idea how big is "too big" for a clit. I've seen a few, but have no idea what the range of sizes of clits are. I would venture to guess that most other guys don't know either. Especially other boys your own age. If it is a bit larger than is typical, that probably just makes it easier to find -- bonus!!

Unless it's the size of a basketball or something. That would probably freak me out a bit. Um. It's not THAT big, is it?

Alice Dreger! My hero. Seriously. Dear girl with the big clit: You are in posession of a world of wonder. Consider yourself singled out to be blessed, unique, sexually well-endowed. I'm a lady, too, and goddamn if I didn't wish I could have a clit as big as my big toe. God speed to you, take care of yourself, and be very careful about vetting medical professionals that should come your way. Most of them don't know shit from apple butter.

Treasure, my ass. Alice needs to calm the fuck down and stick to facts.

What if this girl has "normal" anatomy, and is just freaked out because her parents are overbearing and weird? Now thanks to this woman (who has never even SEEN the poor girl), she's questioning the doctors she has yet to see about the "problem", and probably freaking out about having a hormone imbalance. Way to go, Alice.

Also worth noting: Alice is in no way a medical professional. She's got a PhD in History. She may be a fine advocate for people with big clits, but she's not the girl to be diagnosing them, anonymously, over the internet.

@37: It's a PhD in History and Philosophy of Science, and her site bio says that she co-directed the Intersex Society of North America for seven years. So it does sound like she's pretty qualified to give the advice she did...I didn't see a diagnosis there. And she gave her full name, so she's not giving anonymous advice either. Just saying.

I have the opposite problem - I have no clit to speak of - at least not that I have been able to find in the ol' hand mirror, or any of my partners has been able to identify from a distance of 2 centimeters away! I only realized it was missing fairly recently, but it explained why oral sex has always been a nothing experience for me.

But this QA has made me wonder if I might have been one of those baby girls with a 'too big' clit that was removed?

I'll be having an awkward conversation with my mother soon, methinks.

Treasure? Dreger? Really.

Settle down. Dreger is often the sourse of ire for transgender advocates. Especially her alignment with 'repairative therapists' like Ken Zucker or a douche like Bailey... Who make a living at pathologizing transgender peeps.

I think that the advice is sound if CLIT actually has a big clit. When i was 14, 15 i was convinced that my clit was HUGE. After i had sex with men, watched some porn and most importantly had sex with a few women i noticed that in fact the size difference was minimal and as an adult i have not had any one comment on the size of my clit. I would encourage CLIT to get her hands on some porn, if she is not interested in a sex with other girls.

@43, obviously you're new here. It's a clit. Now, if it was a penis, Dan would have posted six photos by now.

15 is not too early to start going to see a gynocologist under any circumstances, and you may be surprised to learn that you're completely normal (size of genitals, sex drive, etc). There's a large natural range for these things. Also, parents are often uncomfortable with their teenage daughters' sexualities - just tell them you need to start having annual exams and get a doctor recommendation from your pediatrician. Your parents don't really need to know specifics, unless you're considering some major medical procedure.

I'm no doctor, but if you're getting your period, not in pain, have a sex drive but are hesitating to talk about it with your parents or to act on it with boys from your high school, you sound pretty normal.

@38: Philosophy of science isn't science, and it sure as hell isn't medicine. It's not as if by putting the word "science" in a job title you get to be a doctor.

Also, I didn't dispense any medical advice. Learn how to read.

Other than checking for endocrine disorders (PCOS, CAH, etc.) and seeing a gynecologist or three to get a more informed perspective on what's "normal" (which really just means "common"), I'd argue for staying away from anything involving knives. Hey, if you're not ordinary, then you're extraordinary. Experience more of life, significantly more, and then decide what's right for you.

@39: Some women have 'inside' or hidden clits: many of these ladies have superbly sensitive areas just inside though, on the front wall of the vaginal cavity - - aka very happy, easily identifiable/raised G spots. Means you might trade the potential for great oral for truly great hand jobs and fab penetration sex.

Everybody's different of course.

@44 wine hurts when it comes out of your nose. Stop that funny crap right now. ;)

@33 - largest I ever saw in person was the size of a baby carrot or a very small cocktail wiener when it was engorged. I thought it was impressive as hell, and told her so.

I'm intersexed with a condition called Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (PAIS) and am lucky enough to have survived childhood and adolescence with my large clit intact. For years, it was a source of a lot of angst and made me feel like a total freak to the extent that I was isolated and suicidal for a long time. I avoided all intimate relationships because I was so terrified of the reaction I would get if I was found to be different.

Since then I've finally gotten all the pertinent information about my condition and am even more fortuitous to have found support from amazing women with the same and similar conditions. I think knowing you are not alone in the world is absolutely the most important thing. Since finding that support and at last allowing myself to be intimate, I'm happy to report that no one has had a problem with my large clit and I love the extra sensation and the ability to do a few things in bed that not everyone else can do. My loving partner absolutely adores my clit and wishes she were intersexed too!

I hope this young woman finds some proper medical care and also the support she needs. It is hard being different sometimes, but it is also wonderful. Alice's advice is awesome, and I really appreciate Dan's sensitivity to the subject. I think she should be careful selecting the right doctor, but getting good medical information and a proper diagnosis is critical and can be quite empowering as well. I wish at 15 I had been brave enough to ask questions and get the information I needed, and I wish her the best of luck!

I just wanted to thank all the wonderful people here who have offered this girl support and advice. The peer support is especially the most valuable! Dan has amassed such a beautiful collection of good souls who help out others -- it makes me really proud and happy to be part of his crew.

Sometimes the Internet causes people problems, but it is comments sections like this one that provide critical peer support and positive feedback that really remind me how the the Internet can be used for so much good.

Thanks, all of you who have helped this girl and who are helping other girls like her reading this.

@21: 20 at the latest? What, are girls' vaginas ticking timebombs that will go off if you don't swish cocks around in them? Your advice is positively Hippocratic.

Miss, have sex when you feel comfortable and confident. Whenever the hell that is. Meanwhile, though, do not skimp on the masturbation and figuring out what you like.

@55: From my observation, waiting too long can cause problems just like not waiting long enough. Friends who waited past 20, or 25, or 30 told me sex started to loom too large in their minds, and kept screwing up their relationships. My advice was not vagina-centric, I said that it goes for boys, too. And for boys who like boys, and girls who like girls. Don't start too early, and don't wait too long to fully get it on!

Hippocrates was half right: Sex is good for what ails you, no matter what equipment you're packin'.

@56: I "waited" until 22 (although to be fair, had done almost everything else except sex), and I've been with that boyfriend for over three years now and living with him for one. We're all right.

If someone *wants* to wait, sex won't start to "loom too large" in their mind. It sounds more like your friends didn't want to wait as long as they did, so it started bugging them. It wasn't some kind of inherent condition of their age.

I guess my main problem here is you picking a number. I get what you mean -- don't wait for the sake of waiting, especially if you know you're mostly ready (a lot of people are never totally "ready"), and *especially* if there's someone you like, and don't make sex so important that you keep putting it off in some misplaced fear of facing it or messing it up. But what if I just don't get the opportunity? What if I don't really meet someone I like or trust enough? What if I don't meet someone that likes me enough? Hey, some of us don't enjoy the luxury of getting to say no that often.

I think imposing some kind of age expiry like 20 just induces the same kind of anxiety as telling someone that they're not having sex soon enough. How weird I still feel for knowing I lost my virginity at 22 when people here think 17 is old-fashioned.

@57: I'm being a little cheeky when I state those ages as absolutes. It's like the half-your-age-plus-7 rule. We could open the window up to 22, even 25, even 30. As long as your not doing it because you don't want to, not because you think you shouldn't. Though I really don't think kids under 17 should be doing it. There's a firm line somewhere at the young end, at least.

Thank you Alice and Dan--great advice. Just wanted to add my $.02 and let this young woman know that she does not have to "make excuses" for her decision to not have sex. For ANY reason. At ANY age. It's okay. Really.

Jesus - you just told her that there are only three people in north America who could possibly handle her situation! I bet she feels totally normal and accepting of her body and comfortable to discuss it with parents/doctors now!

I agree with all the naysayers! This advice might well be really great advice, if indeed this girl does have an extremely large clit. However, the advice doesn't take into consideration that a lot of women out there who have perfectly ordinary sized clits that are slightly larger than the average pornstar clit feel that theirs is huge, when in fact it's perfectly normal. The sort of perfectly normal that Alice could have reassured her about, and perhaps a quick trip to the GP or secual health clinic could have confirmed.

Implying that this girl needs to be very careful about which doctor she shows her clit to for fear they'll hack it off might be cautious, but it's also suggesting that she has got something really out of the ordinary. And although something out of the ordinary might not be anything to be ashamed of, for a 15 year old girl it's really going to sound like something to worry about.

If she has no other symptoms of hormonal imbalance it's most likely that she just has a kinda large clit. I think some gentle encouragement and reassurance would have been better than this alarmist response.

Also, her question was not just about her clit. She wanted to know how to broach this question with her parents *who she has a great relationship*. Them being a little reticent to talk to their tennage daughter about seeing a gyno does not imply that they're crazy sex-phobic nutjobs who are desperate to mutilate their daughter!

I think she should find some non-porn images of a wide range of women's genitalia to make sure she has a sense of what's usual and what's unusual (I think Betty Dodson draws vulvas somewhere..) And she should know that some women pump their clits to make them big on purpose, because it enhances sexual pleasure and they think big clits are great etc.
And if she's still worried, she should call her local Planned Parenthood who would probably be able to arrange a check-up to make sure she's ok/reassure her.
No?

Huh. Dreger's a hack — a "professional academic troll". Quoted from conclusion portion of this preceding link:

"Looking beyond her ridiculous personal vendetta against me, I do hope I can assist those questioning Dreger’s disease model of intersex, just as I question disease models of gender variance (James 2004). Discrediting bad ideas and bad scholars will lead to empowerment for those who should be speaking for themselves. She can’t hurt me, but she can hurt a lot of intersex people in the long term" [James 2007].

With winners like Dreger on your side, Dan, what's the point in adding losers?

http://www.isna.org/faq/concealment
You can also get this information in a first year psychology class.

@61 and @62 and @63

you make it seem so easy. Tell me, are you intersexed? Have you gone through any of our experiences that left us bleeding, scarred and numb?

I am intersexed. My parents are not malicious, but they're also not the type to hop on the computer and do extensive google searches to tear down respected people in the intersex community, such as Alice Dreger. My parents on the other hand were hard workers and didn't have the privilege of a college education. So no, they couldn't just sit in a psych 100 class and "get this information."

My parents, like most parents (EVEN IN 2009) were bullied into surgery and hormones for me because they wanted what was best for me.

Unfortunately though, good intentions aren't always what's needed for intersex children and young adults. Alice Dreger is legit. I am intersexed myself. Suffered at the hands of the medical industrial complex that blinds itself to sexual/genital variation in favor of a 2 sex/2 gender binary system.

CLIT, you are amazing and this thread will be a resource for many other young adults and children to come. Thanks for your bravery. Alice, thank you again for being a voice for our community. And as Alice said, please get in contact with her and she can put you in contact with someone like me. I'm 23 and live in Chicago and just graduated from University where if finished my thesis on Intersexuality.

http://stopmutilating.wordpress.com/

I'd like to chime in that 15 is by no means too young to start seeing a gynecologist- you don't have to be sexually active to want to take care of your reproductive health! If it's too hard for you to bring up with your parents, that's what Planned Parenthood is for, (no, not just free condoms and sliding-scale abortions.) They have excellent gynecologist and do sliding-scale annual exams, and even if there isn't one near you, their website is a great resource. (http://www.plannedparenthood.org/) They even have a page specifically addressing teenager's (extremely common) anxieties as to whether their equipment is 'normal' (http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teen-ta…)

...aaaand two typos prove it's time for me to get off the internet and get some sleep.

Really now, people- at 15, she'll be lucky to find a guy that even knows what a clit IS. :)~

Lucky, lucky girl. And when she decides to have sex with her first lover (hopefully, a man or a woman, not just a person with big boy or big girl parts), that person will feel just as lucky. Big clits rock, and the few women who I've met whose clits were big enough to tongue-roll have been permanently embedded in my mind. CLIT, you've got nothing to be ashamed of in the least, and if someone in your future tells you that it's "ugly" or "freakish", make sure to tell them exactly where they can go.

"I would ask CLIT if her big one causes over-sensitivity or even pain if it presses up against clothing or while seated."
Don't wear tight panties or trousers. And don't let anyone cut on your vulva (the whole external thing, including your clitoris). And just WHAT is "OVERsensitivity"?

Its like your another me, im in the same position as you and i am also 15...weird!

alice pleaz help me I have big clit too i cant speek english very well i live in iran i marrid(4years)
he dosent know ebout that things (size of clit in every body) but he undrestand it some daye i want to have sergury can i? is it be good?i want to have normal clit can i pragnent?