Time goes by so slowly for those who wait…and finally, the wait is over! Madonna has unveiled the rescheduled dates for her career-spanning Celebration tour, which was postponed last month due to a health scare. Fastidious bear expert-turned-spiritual writer Rainn Wilson will visit town in celebration of his latest book release. Funny mainstay Mike Birbiglia will also drop by Seattle—we recommend wearing shoes to his show. Read on for details on those and other newly announced events, plus some news you can use.

ON SALE FRIDAY, AUGUST 18

MUSIC

alt-j: An Awesome Wave 10th Anniversary Show
Showbox SoDo (Dec 1-3)
Third show added

Amigo the Devil
Moore Theatre (Mon Nov 6)

Big Gigantic
Showbox SoDo (Thurs Oct 12)

(MUSIC) If the supermarket shelves are to be trusted, summer is over. Everything is pumpkin-spiced and five-pound bags of trick-or-treat candy fills every endcap. And is anyone else getting fed Christmas cookie how-to videos on Instagram? The fuck? Of course, I'm writing this on a day when...

On Saturday, August 19, some of the Pacific Northwest's funniest people will take the stage at the Egyptian Theatre as part of The Stranger's Undisputable Geniuses of Comedy showcase. Emmet Montgomery! Dewa Dorje! Derek Sheen! Alyssa Yeoman! Natalie Holt! And those are just the Seattle folks performing! We're also bringing up Portland's Arlo Weierhauser, Kate Murphy, Steven Wilber, and Jamie Carbone, and the evening will be hosted by Nariko Ott, winner of Portland's Funniest Person contest in 2016 and writer for The Hard Times. 

It's going to be very funny! This week, ahead of the show, let's get to know the Seattle comics. Say hello to Dewa Dorje! Dorje hosts the monthly comedy talk show Dee's Nuts at Here-After. The next installment is September 20! Tickets are available here.

How does it feel to be declared an Undisputable Genius of Comedy?

Happy birthday! Historic Pike Place Market turns 116 today. That makes the market a litle bit younger than iconic American Girl Doll Samantha Parkington, if that puts it into perspective at all. To celebrate, the market will host 16 days of market gift giveaways. I love free shit and I would love to tell you what to watch for, but they won’t reveal the surprises until the day of their giveaway, so you’ll have to check their social media. 

Labor splits in District 3: This morning, MLK Labor, the central body of labor organizations in the county, is expected to throw its weight behind cannabis grower Joy Hollingsworth in the race to replace Seattle City Council Member Kshama Sawant in District 3. Sources who attended the endorsement meeting said Hollingsworth supporters came out strong, with “new” delegates whipping votes before the low-turnout meeting. Bolstered by the support of the trade unions and public service workers, she just barely reached the two-thirds threshold to earn the endorsement. The endorsement is somewhat surprising since the Seattle Times and the big business-friendly Mayor endorsed Hollingsworth, but labor has joined forces with corporate-backed candidates in the past. For example, the labor council rallied behind Mayor Jenny Durkan over Cary Moon in the 2017 general election. And besides, UFCW 3000 already picked Hollingsworth a few months ago.

I walk around this city a lot, and the number of full-sun yards I see with nothing but mown grass is disgusting! Plant some fucking flowers and shrubs and trees, or some goddamn fruits and veggies! 

WEDNESDAY 8/16  

20th Anniversary of Oldboy

(FILM) The rise of South Korean cinema in the 21st century, a rise that has resulted in the critical and commercial success of Bong Joon-ho's Parasite in 2019, begins in earnest with Park Chan-wook's 2003 film Oldboy. The moment it stepped on the world stage was the 2004 Cannes Film Festival. True, Bong's Memories of Murder, which was also released in 2003, is a deeper artistic and political work, but Oldboy is much more gripping and sensational and violent. Indeed, the line between Oldboy and the hit TV series Squid Game is unbroken. Both present an improbable plot that is somehow compelling. At the heart of Squid Game is the ugly hunger for money; in Oldboy, it's the insatiable hunger for revenge. And both (the TV series and the movie) imagine a reality that seems to be completely controlled by unknown forces. (SIFF Cinema Egyptian, 805 E Pine St, various showtimes through August 24, $13-$14) CHARLES MUDEDE

On Saturday, August 19, some of the Pacific Northwest's funniest people will take the stage at the Egyptian Theatre as part of The Stranger's Undisputable Geniuses of Comedy showcase. Emmet Montgomery! Dewa Dorje! Derek Sheen! Alyssa Yeoman! Natalie Holt! And those are just the Seattle folks performing! We're also bringing up Portland's Arlo Weierhauser, Kate Murphy, Steven Wilber, and Jamie Carbone, and the evening will be hosted by Nariko Ott, winner of Portland's Funniest Person contest in 2016 and writer for The Hard Times. 

It's going to be very funny! This week, ahead of the show, let's get to know the Seattle comics. Say hello to Alyssa Yeoman! Yeoman co-hosts the podcast Is This Normal? with Erin Ingle and the monthly comedy show Puff Puff Laugh at Here-After. They have also performed at the Upper Left Comedy Festival and Bumbershoot.

How does it feel to be declared an Undisputable Genius of Comedy? 

The Office of Police Accountability (OPA) investigates accusations of Seattle Police Department officer misconduct and recommends disciplinary action when they find it appropriate. About every other Friday, the OPA drops a chunk of its latest case findings. Last week, the agency closed 24 cases with no allegations sustained, though a handful resulted in a referral for more training. As the Seattle Police Officers Guild (SPOG), which represents rank-and-file officers, continues to negotiate with the City, I plan on taking a closer look at the complaints that land SPOG members in front of the OPA. 

Another $$$ mil $$$ for Cinerama: The Metropolitan King County Council unanimously approved funding for the Seattle International Film Festival to reopen the theater. This comes the week after the Seattle City Council allocated $950,000 for Cinerama. The estate of Microsoft-founder and billionaire city prince Paul Allen sold the theater to the SIFF in May. The nonprofit hasn’t set a firm date for reopening, but it is aiming for fall.

Power lines likely caused Maui fires: Security cameras at a bird conservation center on the Hawaiian island captured a bright flash at 10:47 pm last Monday that experts say likely came from a tree colliding with a power line. This likely caused the first of several devastating fires that engulfed the island’s dry grasslands, destroyed the historic town of Lahaina, and killed at least 106 people. Read more about it here.

A woman hooked up with a seemingly nice guy. She asked him to wear a condom, and he said he did. But after he left, she couldn’t find evidence of the condom—no wrapper, nothing. Did he stealth her? Should she call him and ask? 

Ureaplasma: What’s this fresh new STI? Dan is stumped, so he brings on Dr. Ina Park, his go-to expert on sexually transmitted diseases. 

I’ve never thought of Seattle as a town that does heroes. At best, we’re aloof; at worst, we’re sardonic and quick to turn. (Russell Wilson, anyone?) But every rule has an exception, and our exception is Félix Hernández.

King Félix. You’re probably familiar with the stats: 15 years with the Mariners, 2729 innings pitched, 2524 strikeouts, 169 wins, 25 complete games, one massive grand slam. 

You probably know the story: scouted in his native Venezuela, signed at 16, began his career in Everett a year later. The MLB debut at 19. The Cy Young Award, the King’s Court, the perfect game. His 2019 farewell, when 10,000 fans in matching gold T-shirts sobbed in unison as he left the pitcher’s mound for the last time. 

But the magical thing about Félix is how he became part of all of our stories, too.

(MUSIC) If you weren't able to catch Acid Tongue's set at Day In Day Out festival on Saturday, here's the perfect opportunity to right that wrong. The Seattle band is playing a free show at noon in Occidental Square as part of the Downtown Summer Sounds series. Their new single, "Consumerism," is a snotty and sarcastic garage punk banger about...

On Saturday, August 19, some of the Pacific Northwest's funniest people will take the stage at the Egyptian Theatre as part of The Stranger's Undisputable Geniuses of Comedy showcase. Emmet Montgomery! Dewa Dorje! Derek Sheen! Alyssa Yeoman! Natalie Holt! And those are just the Seattle folks performing! We're also bringing up Portland's Arlo Weierhauser, Kate Murphy, Steven Wilber, and Jamie Carbone, and the evening will be hosted by Nariko Ott, winner of Portland's Funniest Person contest in 2016 and writer for The Hard Times. 

It's going to be very funny! This week, ahead of the show, let's get to know the Seattle comics. Say hello to Derek Sheen!

How does it feel to be declared an Undisputable Genius of Comedy? 

In an Instagram post on July 26 that garnered nearly 2,400 “likes” and dozens of comments, Shout Your Abortion Executive Director Amelia Bonow accused former XO Seattle curator Austin Bellamy Hicks of a pattern of harming women in the Seattle arts community. She said she fielded accounts from "a rapidly growing number of women" that included “rape, assault, stalking, and intimidation.” Two of those women told The Stranger that Hicks sexually assaulted them in the early 2010s. 

One woman, who we will call Madison, claimed that Hicks had sex with her after she said “no” one night in 2012. Another woman named Sarah—who agreed to go by her real first name in this story—said in 2014 Hicks made her cry as he managed to pressure her into having sex without a condom. 

In an interview last week, Hicks denied those sexual assault allegations but acknowledged a pattern of “lying,” “manipulating,” and acting in a “horrible” way toward a few of the women he dated during that time period.