Don't Miss CoFF—the Confinement (Online) Film Fest!

This Week's Seattle Takeout & Delivery News: Manny’s Cans, Caffe Vita Reopens, Another Farmers Market Returns, and More

Georgetown Brewings wildly popular Mannys Pale Ale is now available in cans! Buy a case or two at the brewery or try your luck at your local grocery store, knowing that all proceeds will be donated to relief programs for service industry workers.
Georgetown Brewing's wildly popular Manny's Pale Ale is now available in cans! Buy a case or two at the brewery or try your luck at your local grocery store, knowing that all proceeds will be donated to relief programs for service industry workers. Georgetown Brewing Company via Facebook

As far as your appetite is concerned, there's a lot to be excited about this week. We've rounded up newly reopened spots offering takeout and delivery, new specials, and other stuff you might like to know, from new omakase dinners from Sushi Kashiba to the return of the Queen Anne Farmers Market and Caffe Vita to a Sunday Funday Pop-Up at Citizen this Sunday. Read on for details, and check out our complete takeout and delivery directory and our ongoing list of to-go restaurant specials for more ideas.

REOPEN FOR TAKEOUT

Blazing Bagels
The Bellevue location of the local bagel shop is up and running again. Order stand-alone bagels, sandwiches, bagel dogs, and more for pickup through their website.

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A Drag Performer's Guide to the Creative Prompts in Lady Gaga's Chromatica


Hello, beauties. As you know, Lady Gaga has released her new album of creative prompts for your drag shows, and as we’re all cooped up indoors right now, you’re in a perfect position to begin work IMMEDIATELY on your Chromatica lip syncs. We’ll be expecting to see a high level of polish in your virtual livestreams, as well as if it’s ever safe to re-open performance venues in the US.

As I’m sure you’ve all listened to the album by now, I expect that you already have numerous ideas for your upcoming drag routines. But in case you need a cheat sheet to the various prompts in each song, I’ve compiled them into a handy list. Heterosexuals, you may read this as well. We’ll let you know when our shows are ready for you.

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The 53 Best Social Distancing-Friendly Things To Do in Seattle This Weekend: May 29-31, 2020

Its the last weekend to stream renowned choreographer Pat Graneys Faith Triptych, three performances spanning from 1991-2001, via On the Boards.
It's the last weekend to stream renowned choreographer Pat Graney's Faith Triptych, three performances spanning from 1991-2001, via On the Boards. Tim Summers

It's a regular two-day weekend, whatever that means to you right now, and we hope you get some time away from your responsibilities to enjoy some good old-fashioned virtual entertainment. To help you decide where to tune in, we've rounded up our picks for the best social distancing-friendly events, from Last Call at Re-bar to Christopher Frizzelle's Quarantine Book Club (no prep required), and from the Fussy Cloud Puppet Slam to Project Pride, hosted by NPR's Ari Shapiro. Read on for all our top picks for the weekend, and, for even more options, check out our roundup of the best movies to stream this weekend and our complete streaming events calendar.

FRIDAY

COMEDY
Improv Happy Hour: Unexpected Experiments
If aspects of your life in quarantine are starting to feel too predictable, shake things up with an hour-long happy hour with Unexpected Productions' improv crew. The theme is "couples." The series ends tonight, so don't miss out.

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The Confinement Online Film Fest Returns This Saturday—Here's Why You Shouldn't Miss It

A Covid-19 Love Story: Marc & Mary from the CoFF film fest.
A Covid-19 Love Story: Marc & Mary from the CoFF film fest.

Make no mistake: This pandemic and subsequent quarantine have messed us up more than we'd like to admit. One of humankind's greatest attributes is our ability to adapt—but there's something definitely lost when we change without stopping to think about how and the reasons why we've changed.

And that's where the entertaining, funny, and sweet Confinement (online) Film Festival (CoFF) comes in—returning this Saturday at 6 pm after last weekend's spectacular debut!

Here's how it all started: We asked local amateur filmmakers, artists, and creative people to send us short homemade movies that demonstrate how we are living, surviving (and occasionally thriving) under quarantine and social distancing orders... and oh boy! DID YOU DELIVER! We received a poop-ton of fantastic, funny, poignant, and mind-bending submissions, and narrowed it down to the 25 best of the bunch to bring you the CoFF film fest.

Here's what we didn't expect: We knew you would be creative and fun... no surprise there. But your submissions were also thoughtful, poignant, and when put together in one evening of entertainment, it opens a window into our collective experience. CoFF features personal journeys from around the world, and while many of these short, five-minute films made us laugh our asses off, and occasionally say, "Yep... that's me!", there was also an unmistakable feeling of community—that others are experiencing this same strange, sometimes heartbreaking reality, and we aren't alone.

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Collide-O-Scope, Seattle's Favorite Gawk-Fest, Streams on Monday

I have a confession: I arrived late to the Collide-O-Scope party. I didn't see my first Collide-O-Scope until last year, and it's one of my top regrets of the last decade.

The once biweekly Re-bar event smashes found footage into hazy, psychedelic, mad, and gay shorts based around themes like "Hygiene Hijinks" or "Musical Extravaganzas" or "Tough Dames." It's created by Michael Anderson and Shane Wahlund, and while this is probably not news to you—we've been writing about these guys since they started this thing almost 10 years ago—their "half video art installation and half stoner gawk-fest" is one of the best things to watch while you're stoned.

Outside of the Re-Bar event, Collide-O-Scope was only viewable through the DVDs they would sell at their gigs, including their exceptional Best of the Worst DVD, which I wrote about for our Unstreamable column last year. The welcome package to Seattle should include this DVD and a pack of joints.

But Sloggers, we've got great news: Collide-O-Scope is unstreamable no more. Starting Monday, Collide-O-Scope will start streaming their expertly crafted, mind-melting, often hilarious stream of consciousness video extravaganzas every second and fourth Mondays via The Stranger, starting in June. If you're new to Collide-O-Scope, or have ever wanted to share it with people outside of Seattle, or just want to revisit it because you fucking miss going to Re-Bar and watching this signature mix of mashup madness, NOW IS THE TIME TO WATCH. And by now, I mean every second and fourth Monday.


Dan Strauss Calls for Allowing Outdoor Dining in the Middle of Ballard Ave NW

Councilmember Strauss on Ballard Avenue NW, which he proposes shutting to traffic and repurposing for outdoor dining.
Councilmember Strauss is working with the city on a pilot program that would shut Ballard Avenue NW to car traffic on the weekends and turn into a "cafe street." Courtesy of Dan Strauss

Cities around the world are getting creative with zoning and letting restaurants expand into streets, because outdoor transmission is rare, and letting businesses occupy at fuller capacity—by putting a whole bunch of tables and chairs outside—will give them a better shot of surviving this crisis.

Dan Strauss says that when he read this Stranger piece yesterday, that was not the first time this idea has been floated. "This is a proposal that I've heard from the small business I've been working with," he says, adding that "small businesses on Ballard Ave NW reached out weeks ago, and we've been working with city departments to develop a pilot program that could be rolled out as King County enters Phase 2."

He stresses, "We need to be ready to use our public space and public right-of-ways in a way that promotes our small businesses, protects public health, and increases the ability for pedestrians to use our public right-of-ways. And cafe streets are absolutely one of these options."

If the phrase "cafe streets" fills your head with thoughts of Amsterdam or Paris, you are not alone.

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Slog AM: Hong Kong Protesters Make Good Use of Those Horrible Leaf Blowers, Protests Planned in Seattle, Trump Threatens to Shoot Looters In the Twin Cities

Moving leaves with a machine? Really? Capitalism. Capitalism.
Moving leaves with a machine? Really? Capitalism. Capitalism. AleksandarGeorgiev/gettyimages.com

UPDATE: AP reports that the fired officer whose knee cut George Floyd's life short at the neck, Derek Chauvin, is finally behind bars. He has been charged with third-degree murder, which is defined by the intention to cause physical harm, rather than death.

Leaf Blowers: We must hate them because they make too much noise and burn fossil fuel for no good reason: moving leaves from here to there. What these machines do can be done with far less noise and air pollution simply by raking. That said, people protesting China's attempt to shutdown Hong Kong's feisty democracy are using leaf blowers to disperse tear gas.
Core 77:

As the Hong Kong protests stretch into their fourth month, resisters have developed a series of clever DIY defense methods. "Demonstrators have formed special 'units' in charge of tackling tear gas who leap into action as soon as a canister is fired," the AFP reports.

This Is How You Do It: "Washington businesses face fines of $10,000 or more for not following coronavirus rules." The virus is no joke. If you endanger the public's health because you want to assert the apparently God-given right "to truck, barter, and exchange," then the state (which represents the public) is required to administer a punishment that leaves you smarting.

This Is How You Don't Do It: "Gov. Inslee eases restrictions on religious gatherings." There is absolutely no need to go all soft on the lovers of some super-ape who is storied to have created the whole universe. These people can wait for God. Their God is going nowhere soon. Trust us non-believers. We very well know that God will be around until the extinction of the clever ape on a star.

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A Message to the City from Timothy De Clue

Timothy De Clue is the owner of the Timothy De Clue Collection on First Avenue.
He is the owner of Timothy De Clue Collection on First Avenue. Courtesy of Timothy De Clue

Remember weekend shopping? Going to stores, bumping into people? We don't either.

The retail sector is being devastated by this crisis. All those shops in the downtown shopping district—what is going on with the people who own them? Are their shops along First Avenue going to survive this?

Today we check in on one, Timothy De Clue, whose store offers "specialty barware, apothecary, seasonal décor, lighting, bespoke furniture and bedding, among other fine home pieces."

In his message, he talks about an Italian company that has switched from making luxury bedding to making masks—which you can buy.

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Take a Break and Read a Fucking Poem: "Now More Than Ever" by Morgan Parker

At 6:30 p.m. PDT this evening, Tin House will host "the best reading in all of time and space," featuring Jenny Zhang, Tommy Pico, Morgan Parker, and Khadijah Queen.

That event description is no lie. Together, these four poets compose the most formidable millennial poetry transformer anyone could possibly imagine. To prepare yourself, you should read Morgan Parker's prose poem, "Now More Than Ever," which you can find in her latest collection of poetry, Magical Negro, available at local bookstores.

A few notes:

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Slog PM: Washington State Recovers a Fuck Ton of Money, Stop Flushing Your Wipes Down the Toilet

I have a confession to make. I did not Keep It Moving while writing this post. I did, however, keep my distance and wore a mask.
I have a confession to make. I did not Keep It Moving while writing this post. I did, however, keep my distance and wore a mask. CB

Can the class of 2020 learn from millennials who weathered the Great Recession? Megan Burbank at the Seattle Times has a piece with millennials offering some advice. One hardened millennial suggested the kids take whatever job they're offered. I don't think I agree. I'd suggest making sure your passport is up-to-date and not being duped into taking out as many student loans as your millennial predecessors. What advice do you have for the class of 2020?

This Seattle 9-year-old invented a card game when he was 7: It's called Taco vs Burrito. It's grossed one million dollars. Gen Z's out here securing the bag. (Or is he Generation Alpha? Or, as we like to call them, a Doomer.)

A state of emergency has been declared in Minneapolis: Prosecutors have not yet decided whether to charge the four Minneapolis police officers involved in the killing of George Floyd. Many, including Floyd's family, have called for murder charges against the officers. Anticipating a third night of protests in response to the indecision, Minnesota's Gov. Tim Walz has declared a state of emergency in Minneapolis and St. Paul.

“What we’ve seen over the last two days and the emotion-ridden conflict over the last night is the result of so much built up anger and sadness,” said Minneapolis' mayor this afternoon. Standoffs between police and protestors are continuing across the metro area:

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Inslee Announces More Restrictions for Farmworkers, Tests for All Long-Term Care Facilities

Your grandma gets a test! Your grandma gets a test!
Your grandma gets a test! Your grandma gets a test! JOHN MOORE / GETTY IMAGES

There are COVID-19 outbreaks in food processing plants and packaging houses across Washington state. Fruit packing workers across Yakima are currently striking, asking for hazard pay increases and more training for supervisors, that, as Gov. Jay Inslee said in a press conference, "more needs to be done."

"We hear that message," Inslee said.

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A Big List of Unstreamable Movies

Unstreamable is a weekly column that recommends films you cant find on major streaming services in the United States.

Unstreamable is a weekly column that recommends films and TV shows you can't find on major streaming services in the United States.

Currently, there are ~144 films on this list. Each one was unstreamable when it was added. That means we couldn't find it on Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, or any of the other 300+ streaming services available in the United States. We also couldn't find it available for rent or purchase through platforms like Prime Video or iTunes. We don't consider user-generated videos, like unauthorized YouTube uploads, to be streamable.

We add four more films each week:

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Currently Hanging: Katlyn Hubner on Doghouse Leathers

TKTKTK
I love this mural! Jasmyne Keimig
Today's mural comes to us from Katlyn Hubner, an artist and painter based in the Seattle area, whose work hangs on the façade of Doghouse Leathers. After nine years at their 14th and E Pine location, the "daddy of Capitol Hill kink shops" moved further down the street to its present space about a year ago, after a 16 month long renovation of the 108 year old building. Sandwiched in between St. John's and Babeland, Doghouse is prime mural real estate along one of the neighborhood's busiest thoroughfares that I drag my weary body down, hungry for art on the way to the grocery store.

When I first walked past the shop a month or so ago, I remember, definitely, seeing the mural; the bright red background sticks out even among the colorful murals that line the storefronts along the street. But the subject—leather puppy hoods that, in The Before, you'd see some people wearing around the neighborhood—and the mural's perfect placement over the front windows made it seem like the painting had been part of the store since forever. It adds welcome character to the street while also remaining relevant to the spirit of the business it adorns. I know we're all eager to see our neighborhoods and streets return back to "normal," but there's part of me that wishes Hubner's mural would hang on Doghouse Leather's windows far into The After, whatever that entails. Check out more of Hubner's work here.

The other half of the mural.
The other half of the mural. JK

Maintenance Spankings: What's in Them for Her?

1582309877-savage-letter-of-the-day-stamp-2020.jpg
I could really use your insight on the concept of maintenance spanking. In the last week or so, my husband has wanted to explore having a female-led relationship. So while he has always done the cooking, and is a great co-parent two our two children, he's now taking on the majority of the rest of the housework. I'm all in favor of this, as he hasn't always done half of the housework, and our new arrangement has allowed me to be a more present parent and pursue more creative pursuits. In addition to parenting, I am now managing our finances, which I don't mind doing. He has recently wanted to try "maintenance spanking" as a way to reinforce his submission. We've done spanking as a part of sex for awhile, both with my hand and with a flogger, and we enjoy other Dom/sub activities like pegging. But I honestly don't "get" the spanking thing apart from sex. When should it happen? When is it supposed to end? Why are we doing this? We tried last night and decided on a certain number of lashes. He asked afterward if I felt powerful and the answer was NO. I didn't get anything from this and I don't understand it. The whole thing felt very ceremonial and I am not sure what to do with that level of formality. Anything I can do to get in this headspace? Am I thinking about this wrong?

Thanks For Your Help

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Quarantunes: Harvey, Jennifer, Kristin, and for Some Reason Ariana in Hairspray Live

Welcome to the 60s indeed.
Welcome to the '60s indeed.

When we first vanished into our little squirrel holes a few months ago, Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber started releasing stage-to-screen adaptations of his musicals every week on YouTube. By now he’s run out of his own musicals to show, but never fear, he’s got connections! And so now we’re treated every Friday to a new musical theater gem, available to watch for just 48 hours before it vanishes back into whoever’s vault he plundered.

This weekend’s treat is Hairspray Live, the TV adaptation of the movie adaptation of the Broadway adaptation of the John Waters film. With that many leaps from medium to medium, how does the story of body positivity, feminism, and racial injustice fare? Not as badly as it could have!

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