Beware of Volcanoes, Avoid Serial Killers, and Other Advice for People New to Seattle

NewsDeathAmazonCopsSlog AM/PM

Slog AM: Maple Valley Husband and Wife Found Dead, Condé Nast Stops NDAs, What Size Are Jeff Bezos' Feet?

Jeff is a small-to-average sized man, but does he have small-to-average sized feet?
Jeff is a small-to-average sized man, but does he have small-to-average sized feet? daizuoxin/Getty Images

Woman found dead after missing hair appointment: Gosh, what a way to be remembered. A Maple Valley woman was found dead in her home after she didn't show up to her Bellevue hair appointment, something totally out of character for her, according to salon workers. When the workers called her, they kept getting a weird voicemail message on her phone recorded by a man. "Julie and I are feeling quite bad. We have some flu or something serious, so please pardon our delay in responding," the recording said. Police want to find the woman's husband.

There he is: An SUV registered to the same home as the deceased hair appointment woman was found in the Maple Valley King County Sheriff's parking lot Friday morning. A man was dead inside from what appeared to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The car was registered to the deceased woman's husband.

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NewsFilm/TVWarSlog AM/PM2020

Slog PM: Trump Complains About Parasite, Russian Bots Are Still Botting, Tonight's Your Last Night to See And Then We Danced in Seattle!

The real parasite here is Russia.
The real parasite here is Russia. AMY SUSSMAN / GETTY

Trump whined about Parasite winning Best Picture at the Oscars: A late criticism, but a fiery one. "AND THE WINNER IS A MOVIE FROM SOUTH KOREA? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?" he wheezed at a rally in Colorado today. "CAN WE GET GONE WITH THE WIND BACK, PLEASE?" Then he called Brad Pitt "a little wise guy."

Another warning of Russian interference in our election: While Daily Beast is reporting that it's "basically impossible" for Russian bots to be on Twitter (a basically impossible claim), the New York Times revealed this afternoon that intelligence officials warned House lawmakers, again, that Russia is interfering in the presidential election. From the Times:

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43 Movies Worth Watching in Seattle This Weekend: February 20–23, 2020

Love flares up unexpectedly in Portrait of a Lady on Fire.
Love flares up unexpectedly in Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Hulu

It's a terrific week for international films, with the releases of the scorching queer French romance Portrait of a Lady on Fire, the dark Polish religious drama Corpus Christi, and the gorgeous, heartbreaking Chilean documentary The Cordillera of Dreams. But don't miss more locally grown fare at the Seattle Asian American Film Festival, or, if you just want to turn off your brain, fill your eyes with kitty antics at the CatVideoFest. See all of our film critics’ picks for this weekend below, and, if you're looking for even more options, check out our film events calendar and complete movie times listings.

63 Up
With 63 Up, director Michael Apted brings his long-running documentary series—charting the lives of 14 Britons, starting at age seven and checking in every seven years—back to the issues of class in England, something that was only alluded to in the original TV program. As he’s followed his subjects through this series, we’ve been able to see their prospects rise and fall, often due to the opportunities afforded them by their financial station. But the main issue hovering over the film is life’s finiteness. No matter how rich or poor you are or what color your skin is, you’re going to die. That’s our future. ROBERT HAM
SIFF Cinema Uptown
Friday–Sunday

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The Greatest Threat to the Human Race Is Not Climate Denialism But Climate Optimism

The concepts for  spaceship where designed by the architects Rutger Sjögrim (of Secretary), Andreas Nordström, and Elsa Kristina Sundin.
The concepts for spaceship in the film Aniara were designed by the architects Rutger Sjögrim, Andreas Nordström, and Elsa Kristina Sundin.SF Studios/MAGNOLIA PICTURES

Those familiar with the Swedish science fiction film Aniara will not fail to connect it to the current developments on the quarantined cruise ship Diamond Princess, which is docked in a port not far from the most populous city on earth, Tokyo. The cruise ship had 3011 passengers, 621 of whom caught the deadly virus. Two of the Diamond Princess's passengers have died from coronavirus. They were old. In their 80s. And among the many who were indefinitely stuck and sick on the ship.

All of this for a moment sure looked like the bleak drama that unfolds on the sci-fi spaceship that's designed and operates like a cruise ship in Aniara. The movie's story: The spaceship, which is called Aniara and has the amenities of a cruise ship (shops, bars, recreation centers), is headed to Mars because Earth has become even less livable than that lifeless planet (please give some time to the digestion of that thought). All of a sudden, Aniara is knocked off course by space debris and begins to drift into a space that only becomes more and more space.

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Yearning for Freedom! Blaxploitation Thursdays: The Spook Who Sat by the Door

For Black History Month I'm writing about a blaxploitation film every Thursday in February. Next up, The Spook Who Sat by the Door.

Dan Freeman (Lawrence Cook) playing pool and planning a takeover of white society.
Dan Freeman (Lawrence Cook) playing pool and planning a takeover of white society. Courtesy of United Artists
"I can't figure you," says a member of a radical Black paramilitary group to Dan Freeman, the group's leader. "You want power or you want revenge, you know... what is it?" In his perfectly picked-out 'fro and denim suit, Freeman solemnly tells the young man, "It's simple Willy. I just want to be free."

Freedom—true liberation—is one of the central themes of Ivan Dixon's The Spook Who Sat by the Door, a clear-eyed and extremely political blaxploitation film that came out at the height of discussions around Black revolutionary power. It's kind of incredible that it got made. And if it were up to the Powers That Be, you would never have the chance to see it.

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News2020

Elizabeth Warren Roasts Her Competitors Alive

Raise your hand if you brought a bazooka to this debate.
Raise your hand if you brought a bazooka to this debate. Mario Tama / Getty Images

If you woke up this morning to the scent of burnt flesh in the air, that's because Elizabeth Warren cooked Michael Bloomberg over an open flame at last night's debate in Nevada.

He was not the only one on the defensive, sputtering, surprised. Warren built a big old bonfire and piled everyone onto it. She broiled Joe Biden for being buddy-buddies with Mitch McConnell, she braised Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar for their weak-sauce health care plans (and then left the two of them simmering in a pot together, where they spent the rest of the night attacking each other). She even lightly singed her old friend Bernie Sanders. After disappointing results in Iowa and New Hampshire, she is a candidate with zero fucks left to give.

Still, it was the way she flame-broiled Michael Bloomberg, dunked him in a deep-fryer, doused him in mustard, and ate him live on television that will be best remembered.

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10 Unique Seattle Margaritas To Try For National Margarita Day 2020

Admire the view as you sip Agua Verde Cafes bright pink prickly pear margarita.
Admire the view as you sip Agua Verde Cafe's bright pink prickly pear margarita. Agua Verde Cafe

This Saturday, February 22, is National Margarita Day, as good of an excuse as any to partake in some salty, limey elixirs with a side of tacos. However, that doesn't mean you need to settle for any old marg. Below, we've gathered a compilation of tequila-laced libations that venture beyond the usual blend—from spicy ones to avocado-based ones to pineapple-infused ones. You can also check out Olmstead's special National Margarita Day event, our recommended Mexican restaurants, and our food & drink calendar. And if tequila gets you in a planning mood (we won't judge), check out our Cinco de Mayo calendar.

Agua Verde Cafe
Sit on this lakeside Mexican cafe's patio on a sunny day and admire the view while sipping their vibrant pink prickly pear margarita. Their "Dawg margarita" pays tribute to nearby University of Washington with its bright purple hue (achieved with butterfly pea flower-infused Pueblo Vieja tequila) and a golden turmeric rim.

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Bernie Is Asked to Answer for His Bros

Bernie Sanders at a packed rally in Tacoma on Monday.
Bernie Sanders at a packed rally in Tacoma on Monday. Lester Black

Bernie Sanders's most ardent online fans have come back to haunt him.

At both a CNN Town Hall on Tuesday and on the debate stage in Nevada on Wednesday, Sanders was asked to answer for the behavior of "Bernie bros," an amorphous (and co-ed) population typified by being assholes online to everyone who does not support their candidate. The bros have been an issue since the 2016 race, and the rhetoric both from them and about them has only gotten worse.

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The Latest MadArt Exhibit Transports You to Another Space Entirely

harnois_012820_madart_ian_mcmahon_0021_mag.jpg
JAMES HARNOIS

MadArt rewards repeat visits. The concrete-floored gallery in South Lake Union challenges each artist it hosts to radically transform the space, making it virtually unrecognizable from exhibition to exhibition.

I was reminded of this upon entering Ian McMahon's Aperture at MadArt recently, feeling transported to another space entirely. McMahon is a sculptor based in New York who creates impossibly suspended forms using plaster. He's not a stranger to Seattle, either. In 2014, his show at the now-closed Suyama Space in Belltown made waves when, during the closing reception, he dramatically destroyed his plaster sculpture of floor-to-ceiling curtains using a metal bar and gravity.

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Master Musicians Terry and Gyan Riley Gently Blotted Out the World's Horrors Last Night at Benaroya Hall

The god Terry Riley signing a fans CD after the show. (No photos were allowed during the concert.)
The god Terry Riley signing a fan's CD after the show. (No photos were allowed during the concert.) Dave Segal

Heads filled Benaroya's Nordstrom Recital Hall nearly to capacity last night to witness one of the greatest musicians ever, Terry Riley, and his gifted son Gyan, gently blot out the world's horrors with 75 minutes of musical telepathy. It was totally worth missing the Democratic presidential debate for.

With the elder Riley (now 84) on Nord Stage 3, piano, and iPad and the younger Riley on electric guitar and mini-guitar/sitar called Sonica™ koto (I think; I asked Terry after the show what the instrument is, and he just said "Sonica"), the two master musicians drew exquisite beauty from the minimalist-improvisational wellspring of their prodigious imaginations. Even though they rarely see each other—Terry lives in California and Gyan in New York—you could sense that their interplay was enhanced by their shared DNA. My ears cried rivers listening to and watching them; they were so in their element, so focused and enraptured by the gorgeous tones and melodies pouring forth.

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From the Archives: Genitals Are Magic and That's Why This Woman Comes (a Little) When She Poops

SAVAGE-Letter-of-the-Day-STAMP-2020.jpg
Straight female with a question. I've never really told anyone about this because it's so weird and gross. It involves my bowel movements, so it's not very sexy. (No offense to scat lovers.) After I have a normal bowel movement, I pull up my jeans. When I do that, the crotch seam presses on my clit as I begin to close the zipper, and I get what I can only describe as an intense mini-orgasm. This is directly related to the recent BM because it happens only after one. I find myself just standing there in the bathroom, holding my pants up with my hands frozen on the zipper, eyes half closed, while my clit just hammers out an unsolicited series of intense orgasmic spasms. It's not a full-on climax, rather a dozen or so fluttering contractions of pleasure in my clit/pussy area. I find myself enjoying these post-poop-gasms, although it's something I've kept to myself for obvious reasons. I am not complaining. I am merely curious to know if you've ever heard of this and if you know why and how it happens. Do other people have similar experiences?

Possibly Odd Or Perhaps Curious Orgasm Mostly Enjoyed Regularly

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Sudan Archives Seduces with Strings and Electro Things

The violin limit-pushing of Sudan Archives is lovely and accessible.
The violin limit-pushing of Sudan Archives is lovely and accessible. Experience it at Barboza next Fri., Feb. 21. ALEX BLACK

Sometimes it pays off to listen to an artist simply because they have an intriguing name. In the case of Sudan Archives, I was hooked from the moment "Did You Know" (the lead-off track on 2019's Athena) dropped from sparse violin string plucks and honeyed vocals into a heavy, synthesized low-end groove, fuzzed and snapping beat, and flippant, multi-tracked vocal pipings.

Sudan Archives isn't from some far-off land, as her name implies, but Cincinnati, Ohio. She's mostly self-taught on violin, which she became interested in after a group of fiddlers played for her fourth-grade class. She learned to play by ear, honing her skills in the church band. She was born Brittney Denise Parks, but she's been known as Sudan since she was a teen, a name she not only assumed but has come to embody in her sound, which began to take shape after she discovered the one-string fiddling of Northern Africa.

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Film/TVHumpEverOut

Enter to Win Tickets to See HUMP! in Tacoma!

HUMP! is coming to Tacoma for the first year ever, and were giving away tickets!
HUMP! is coming to Tacoma for the first year ever (Alma Mater on April 4), and we want to send you for free!

Exciting news: This year, for the first time ever, Dan Savage's famous amateur porn film festival, HUMP!, is coming to Tacoma! Now, if you live in the South Sound, you won't have to drive all the way up to Seattle to get your dirty movie fix.

Even better news: We're giving away three pairs of tickets to those HUMP! screenings, which are happening April 4 at Alma Mater.

Want in? All you have to do is pick one of the following entry methods (or all three—every entry increases your odds!), which also has the very convenient side benefit of connecting you with EverOut Tacoma, our sister site that's like The Stranger's EverOut Things To Do calendar, but better (if you live in Tacoma), because it's exclusively devoted to things to do there.

Complete entry details after the jump:

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Seattle's Comfort Food

Teriyaki is an almost religious institution for a generation of Seattleites.
Teriyaki is an almost religious institution for a generation of Seattleites. JESSICA STEIN

Philly has cheesesteak. Chicago has deep-dish pizza. And Seattle has... teriyaki.

If you're new to town, this might surprise you. Yes, we have truly local ingredients, like salmon and geoducks, and local spins on food staples, like the Seattle dog (a hot dog with cream cheese and sautéed onions). And yes, the word "teriyaki" is used on menus from its native Japan to New York City. But no dish holds the title of Seattle's favorite comfort food more than teriyaki.

There are some simple rules to teriyaki in Seattle: It starts with deboned chicken thighs that have been marinated for days in a sweet soy, ginger, and garlic marinade, and then grilled until the marinade's sugars caramelize on the thigh's skin. That thigh is then sliced up and served on bountiful beds of perfectly cooked Calrose rice next to a simple cabbage salad. Then the whole thing is wrapped up with one final touch: It must be cheap.

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Drug War Prisoners Receive Clemency, as Well They Should

pot1-jail.jpg
ISTOCK / MACROVECTOR

This week, the semi-sentient sack of rotting half-masticated KFC and fearful hate, Donald Trump, pardoned and commuted the criminal charges of a bunch of trashy white men, including all-stars such as former Illinois governor Rod R. Blagojevich, Michael “Junk Bond King” Milken, and former New York City police commissioner Bernard B. Kerik.

For those who slept through poly-sci, here’s the New York Times to clarify what that means exactly:

The Constitution gives presidents what the Supreme Court has ruled is the unlimited authority to grant pardons, which excuse or forgive a federal crime. A commutation, by contrast, makes a punishment milder without wiping out the underlying conviction. Both are forms of presidential clemency.

At this point in our Donnie Two-Scoops dystopian timeline, it’s not a huge surprise that rich white men who enjoy licking the boots of fascist dictators are being gifted “Get Out of Jail Free'' cards. But among this fresh hell, there was some good news. A few of the people receiving this favor from the führer are actually deserving. And—shocker—these people are the victims of the endless and mercy-free war on drugs, AND are women, AND are people of color. Wait... what?

Meet these two women now, and know that they represent hundreds if not thousands of other men and women rotting in our overcrowded, underfunded, and racist prison system.

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